Seta Soujirou walked calmly down the path, his head turned up to the sky. Birds were singing, and it was all together a very calm day. Soujirou liked birds. Birds were nice. Yumi had liked birds, and had once kept one as a pet. Soujirou whistled back at the birds and smiled. He also liked smiling. Smiling was good, very good. If he smiled no one could see his weakness, and no one could beat him.
No one didn't include Himura though. Himura was smart; Himura was too smart. Himura was like a sticker plant. Pretty to look at from far away, but not fun to be stuck in. Easily defeated, but nettling, and bothersome. He didn't fight fair, he used words to break down his opponents, and not his sword.
Words didn't work on Shishio; Shishio was too smart, and too set in his own ways for that. Shishio was like an oil fire, hard to put out. Unlike Soujirou, no, not like Soujirou. Soujirou was like a leaf being blown around by the wind; Soujirou was weak in words. Soujrou was like Yumi's favorite vase, and Himura's words were the small weak pebble that had shattered him. Soujirou smiled wider.
Smiling was good, yes; smiling was good. People who blindly showed off their feelings were funny. They didn't realize that when you let people see what you feel they try to crack you apart. Soujirou knew that, and he wasn't going to let anyone crack him apart again. Himura had, and he hadn't liked it. He hadn't been able to control his smile, and that was how he lost. If Himura hadn't shattered him he would have won, and killed Himura. Shishio would have taken over Japan, and Soujirou would still be killing.
Killing wasn't good; killing was bad. It made Soujirou feel....dirty. No matter how long he sat in the tub, or how hard he scrubbed he still felt dirty. Everytime he looked in the mirror and smiled he saw the blood stains on his skin and on his clothes. Blood wouldn't come off his clothes. He hated washing blood out of his clothes. He hated killing. Killing was neccesary, but not pleasent. Like eating thing you didn't want to, or bunking with Kamatari. Not killing was for the weak, and Soujirou had not wanted to be weak.
Being weak was.....weak. But being weak was easy. Soujirou was weak. Himura had defeated him, and made him weak. Weak was only a word, but so was strong. But they were different. The weak died, and the strong lived. But Himura was weak, and Shishio was strong. Or was he? Himura protected the weak, but why not him? Why hadn't any one protected him when he was weak? Himura hadn't protected him when he was weak....
Shishio had protected him when he had been weak. Shishio had given him a wakzashi to keep him safe from the people who hurt Soujirou. Shishio had protected him from pain. Shishio had also made him strong. Himura had made him weak, and made him hurt. But Himura was stronger then Soujirou, and Himura must have been stronger then Shishio. Soujirou was weak, but he could live with that fact if it meant he didn't have to kill.