Bastila shook herself out of her meditative trance, frowning when she realized that nature was calling. Despite being able to block out most physical sensations while meditating, that was one thing that a Jedi couldn't quite ignore.
She got to her feet and stretched, hurrying out of the cargo bay when she realized just how urgent her need for a bathroom was. Bastila heard the sounds of the crew engaged in a Pazaak game as she ran down the hallway past the commons, grateful for the sounds, because she knew it meant that the 'fresher would be free.
Without even checking the door, Bastila opened it and stepped in, already undoing her pants when she heard a yelp of surprise.
"Bastila!"
"What the-" Bastila cried, jumping back against the wall and hitting her head against it with a dull thud.
Megan, meanwhile, had jumped back into the shower, grabbing her towel and wrapping it around herself. She peered out around the shower curtain, watching Bastila wince and rub the back of her head. "Um… Bas? What are you doing in here?"
"I had to use the restroom," Bastila responded, fumbling to do her pants back up. She was suddenly very acutely aware of Megan's lack of clothing and felt heat rise up her neck. She closed her eyes tightly, trying not to invade Megan's privacy any more than she already had.
Megan cleared her throat uncomfortably, and Bastila heard Megan step out of the shower. Bastila's cheeks burned, and she turned around and began feeling for the door pad so she could get out of the awkward situation.
Bastila felt her mouth go dry as she heard the towel drop to the floor. Images of Megan topless flew through her mind and a shiver ran down her spine.
There was the rustling of clothing and then Megan spoke again. "Okay, I'm covered. You can… um… you can turn around now."
Bastila opened her eyes and shook her head slightly, trying to clear the images from her brain before Megan became aware of them through their bond. She turned around after a second, hoping her hesitation wasn't too obvious.
Oh Force. Bastila wished she hadn't turned around; Megan had "covered herself" by simply pulling on an oversize tee-shirt that was just barely long enough. The sight of Megan's long, toned legs made Bastila's heart skip a beat. Her dark, wet hair framed her face and made Megan's honey-colored eyes appear more alive. The baggy, over-sized shirt actually emphasized Megan's curves rather than hiding them.
Megan noticed Bastila staring at her hungrily and her cheeks darkened a few shades. "… Bas?"
Bastila tore her eyes away from Megan's body and met her warm gaze. The two women stared at each other for a long moment, the tension in the air unbelievably thick.
"See something you like?" Megan joked weakly, Bastila's smoldering gray eyes burning into hers.
Bastila wasn't sure what had come over her, but when she stared into Megan's eyes her stomach started doing flips and the area between her legs tingled with anticipation. "Megan," she murmured, a little surprised at the husky sound of her voice. Less-than-decent images filled Bastila's head again, and she started moving across the room without really realizing it.
The two met somewhere in the middle, an intense look shared for a split second before they kissed.
Megan moaned softly, wrapping her arms around Bastila's neck and working her lips against Bastila's feverishly.
Bastila was very acutely aware of Megan's nearly naked form pressing up against her, a little whimper escaping her.
Megan broke away immediately, panting as she stared into Bastila's eyes.
The two searched each other's eyes intensely, looking for some sort of affirmation that what they were doing was all right. Not finding any dissent, Bastila was the first to recapture Megan's lips.
Megan moaned into Bastila's mouth, sending a shiver up the younger woman's spine.
Bastila felt her body take over, her hands moving lower on Megan's backside. She wasn't aware of too much else, other than Megan's lips moving against hers, and Megan's tongue slipping inside her mouth.
Bastila broke away for breath a few moments later, surprised to see that she had pushed Megan up against the wall.
Megan's eyes were dark with lust, something that made Bastila's heart pound a little harder.
Instinct took over before either of them could say anything; Bastila was vaguely surprised to find herself grinding her center against Megan's thigh, and even more surprised to find Megan doing the same. A knot of tension was forming quickly just below Bastila's waist, and sheer need made her continue.
Megan groaned and slumped into Bastila's arms breathlessly a few moments later, the sound of her groan pushing Bastila over the edge. She gasped and felt her knees go weak.
They sank to the ground, still wrapped around each other. The only sound in the room was that of the two breathing heavily.
"I, um… I guess this would be a good time to admit it… Bastila, I…" Megan breathed, looking earnestly into Bastila's eyes. "Oh, Force, this is hard…" she added under her breath, a blush starting to creep up her neck.
Bastila, meanwhile, had caught her breath and, her mind clear after she'd climaxed, realized what had just happened. She shook her head, a little horrified at the realization. "No, no, no. Force, Megan, we're Jedi!" She scrambled to her feet, straightening her tunic and running a hand over her hair to make sure it wasn't mussed. "That was a mistake! A horrible mistake, and it can't happen again, do you hear me?"
Megan started to get up, too, tears shining in her eyes. "Bas, wait! I-"
Bastila shook her head again, avoiding Megan's gaze. "No, Megan. It's over." With that cold statement hanging between them, Bastila turned on her heel and exited the 'fresher.
After their little rendezvous in the 'fresher, Bastila and Megan didn't interact at all. Bastila had heard the other crew members talking in low tones about Megan's sudden change in behavior, though.
"I don't know what's wrong with her," Carth had said. "I don't think I've seen her smile once all week, and that's just wrong."
"I know," Mission had replied. "And on top of that, everyone in the girls' dorm has heard her cry herself to sleep almost every night. No one has the courage to say anything, but someone's going to have to sooner or later."
That much was true; Megan was fond of teasing her friends and cracking the odd joke now and then. It was rare not to see her smile less than five times within an hour. The latter statement was also painfully true; Bastila had heard Megan crying into her pillow at night when the older woman thought no one could hear. It made Bastila feel sick to know that she was the one that had caused so much pain, but she didn't want to go against the Jedi and everything that she'd been taught her entire life.
Truth be told, Bastila wasn't feeling exactly chipper, either. She thought at first that she'd be able to put the little rendezvous out of her mind and that would be that. Naturally, that didn't go as planned. Every time she tried to meditate, she wasn't able to focus her thoughts on anything but Megan. Megan invaded her mind even when Bastila slept; her dreams were full of visions of the former Sith lord.
After one such incident, Bastila woke suddenly and was left staring up at the bottom of the bunk above her, her mind still swimming with sensual images of a barely dressed Megan and herself in compromising positions. Megan, thankfully, was out on Korriban with Carth and Mission, attempting to find another Star Map, so she was too far away to see the dream.
Bastila rolled over in her bed and wondered why she was so stuck on Megan; her conscience was screaming that nothing had ever felt so right before, but Bastila ignored it as best she could, just like she always had. All her life she'd been told that thoughts and feelings like those were unnatural and wrong. Never mind that she'd always found women more appealing than men…
Naturally, despite knowing it was "wrong", her mind wandered back to a time in the past when she was only 12 standard years old. Malak had told her that he was going to try and 'fix' her after he'd caught her watching some of the older girls showering. He had led her out onto the plains, pulled her behind a tree where they couldn't be seen, and kissed her. His kiss had been rough, sloppy, and forceful, Bastila remembered with a shudder, and she had made sure that it had never been repeated.
Kissing Megan had been nothing like that, Bastila recognized for what felt like the millionth time. Megan's kiss was careful, tender, and passionate. It felt… safe and comfortable. It felt right, Bastila realized with a start. Being with Megan, kissing her, holding her close… all of it was as natural as breathing.
Bastila's heart started pounding. All her life, she'd been told it was wrong to think this way, but how could it be wrong when it felt so right? She waged a moral war with herself and the teachings of society, going back and forth nearly every second. After nearly two hours passed by unnoticed, Bastila won her war, finally deciding that her own happiness was worth more than a few turned heads and insults now and then.
A small weight lifted off her shoulders, and Bastila was left with the more important and much more difficult question: what did she feel for Megan? She had never admitted it to herself before, but when Megan smiled at her, Bastila's heart skipped a beat. Megan was also, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful people (inside and out) that Bastila had ever met. But, did that mean Bastila loved her? That was the hard part.
Megan was the first woman Bastila had ever felt so strongly for, no doubt about it. All the things Bastila had admired in other women were there in Megan; her beauty, her wit, her caring and kindness… A smile crossed Bastila's face as she closed her eyes and envisioned Megan's smile. She wasn't sure of her feelings yet, but she was positive that she wanted more than just a friendship. The only remaining obstacle was how Megan felt about Bastila.
The smile on Bastila's face disappeared and she buried her face in her pillow with a groan. She had made such a mess out of things. Megan had obviously not been put off by Bastila's rather sudden advances, but before Megan could actually vocalize anything, Bastila had run away.
Bastila growled at herself, wishing she hadn't been so scared. Three more seconds, and she would've known how Megan felt. Instead, she had stuck with the old teachings of the Jedi and ran from love and affection like a child from a kath hound. In the process, she'd apparently broken Megan's heart and made herself miserable.
"Damn it," she muttered to herself, realizing just how big a mess she'd made. She'd have to apologize to Megan when-
The clumping of three pairs of boots coming up the loading ramp interrupted her train of thought.
Bastila froze, her Force senses becoming hypersensitive. She could hear Mission complaining about the attitudes of the Sith and Carth trying to tease her and get her mind of the subject. Megan, unsurprisingly, wasn't saying anything, and her footsteps went off down a hallway, and vanished with the sound of a closing door.
Bastila's body started moving again before her mind did, and only by the time she was pulling on her boots did she realize that it was her chance to talk to Megan and try and fix everything. She hesitated for a split second, fear twisting her stomach into a knot. With a snort, Bastila shoved the fear away as best she could (after all, that was what had started this whole mess in the first place), and went to the mirror at the end of the dorm room. She fixed her hair as quickly as she could manage, wanting to look presentable for Megan.
As Bastila hurried out of the dorm toward the commons, her stomach returned to its previously knotted state and her instincts took over. She skidded to a stop in the doorway to the commons, responding to the strange looks from her fellow crew members with "Where's Megan?"
"She's in the 'fresher," Mission supplied uncertainly. "What's gotten into you, Bastila?"
Bastila didn't answer, having already turned and run the other direction toward the 'fresher. She didn't even think about knocking, simply rushing right in.
At the sound of the door opening, a startled squeak came from the shower, where Megan was just finishing washing her hair.
Bastila paid no mind to the fact that the water was still running or the confusion in Megan's eyes. She darted over, pushed the curtain open, and threw her arms around Megan's naked body, kissing the other woman passionately.
Megan seemed to melt into the embrace, wrapping her arms around Bastila's neck and returning the kiss with an almost desperate affection.
Bastila broke the kiss first, resting her forehead against Megan's as the water cascaded down around them. She looked into Megan's honey colored eyes and felt her knees go a little weak. "I'm so sorry," she breathed, hoping Megan could tell she meant it with every fiber of her being. "I was stupid and I shouldn't have run away from you like I did. I… I feel something for you, and it's more than just friendship." Bastila blushed. "I hope you can forgive me for being such an ass."
"… Only if you promise to stop barging in on my showers," Megan responded, a hint of a smile on her face. "I mean, gosh, can't a girl get a little privacy?"
Bastila giggled, relief filling her chest as she recognized that she was forgiven. "I love you, Megan," she said without even thinking about it. The moment she realized what she'd said, a blush crept up her neck.
Megan gazed at Bastila intensely for a few moments. "Really?" she murmured slowly, as if she didn't quite believe it.
Bastila hesitated for a nanosecond as she sensed the depth of her feelings. She nodded, a hopeful, embarrassed smile playing across her face.
Megan nearly melted with very visible relief, sagging in Bastila's arms. She rested her head on Bastila's shoulder, burying her face in the crook of Bastila's neck. "I love you, too, Bas."
Bastila couldn't help the silly grin that stretched across her face. She hugged Megan warmly, placing a kiss on the side of her head. This is right, she thought happily. Nothing has ever felt so perfect.
"Hey, Bas?" Megan said after a moment. "You're soaking wet."
Bastila picked up on a double meaning she knew Megan didn't even realize she'd made and prayed she could keep a straight face. "What can I say? You really turn me on."