Too Late To Say
"Bitter. I don't know why, but I feel bitter. I feel a biting cold replacing my hate; a barren field, burnt and frozen. Don't you see? It wasn't supposed to be like this. I'm empty now that you're gone, and I didn't think it would be this way. You see, it wasn't supposed to happen, it was supposed to stay the same. I was happy in my ignorance, but then you opened a new door; my dark room was suddenly filled with light. I didn't want to accept that, but then you went away. You left me here without an answer to your question, and now I'm alone. I didn't think I'd miss you. I didn't think that sick pill of hate I swallowed every day meant so much to me. I didn't know that I had could hate so much that death would bring sorrow.
"You see, I hated you because you could beat me without even trying. You were everything I 'should have been'; you were the ideal, except for you heritage. I could never beat you, and I always failed if I tried; every war of words, I tried, yet you always won. You mastered me in a way no one else could. I hated you for it.
"You were all I could ever ask for, but I could never have you. I could never bring myself to break all the rules that have been set to me since birth. It was impossible to see my feelings for what they were, so I turned them into hate. You see, I could not comprehend my own emotions, there were completely foreign to me. I guess I never had a normal family, they were always distant to me; though they voiced their feelings, the never had shown them to me (besides the form of gifts). Is that wrong? Does it make a difference? Oddly, it's all I've ever known, so I cannot see it in the same light you would.
"Now, I can never ask you.
"I thought we were opposites, but know I know we're the same. Now I know I was in some way similar. In our own ignorance we could not see that black and white are only shades of gray. Now I see, in a way I've never seen before, but it's all in vain. I no longer want to be here. Let some one take me away from this world. You see, with you gone I suddenly know what it really means to be alone. Why did you leave me! Did you ever expect to hear me say that? Huh? Did you ever think of living for me? No, because you hate me. I cannot live with myself. You weren't supposed to die… at least not until I could apologize.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the words I said that were hateful. I'm sorry that I was mean. I'm sorry that I couldn't see what was meant to be. I'm sorry I'm so arrogant and just a tad bit vain. I'm sorry I always seemed to cause you pain. I'm sorry I couldn't see what you really meant to me. I'm sorry I wasn't there to say good bye. I'm sorry I never apologized…
"You see, your words still ring in my ears like a sick chorus of birds. Will it ever stop? Will I be able to live accepting you'll never be there, to live without you? Do you think I'm crazy for saying that? It's only because I've seen the truth. I know the answer to your question.
"Yes, 'we all bleed red blood, don't we.'"
Draco pivoted on his heels and slowly turned his gaze away from the grave. Yes, maybe he could live… maybe.
A/N: ah, it's been a while since I've written one of these. Comments? Reviews? Isn't that the same thing? (don't answer the last question.)