A/N: Sorry for getting off task with Agoraphobe, but I couldn't contain my love for these new and strange couples. :)

Just a warning, this story is probably in the gray area between T and M. No lemon, but cursing and innuendo and such… Anywho, if you don't like the idea of dirty jokes or condom salesmen, either go to another chapter or pick another story!

Couple one: Mayu Amakura and Hatori Sohma (Fatal Frame II and Fruits Basket)

No matter what world you're in, there will be strange things. Things that don't make sense or seem wrong. I guess that's how some people would view Mayu and me. After all, I'm nearly thirteen years her senior. But it doesn't seem that way. When I'm with her, I feel… Happy. Unattached to Akito (although the curse is still there). I feel freer than I ever have, even with Kana. I feel I have found true love, if I am allowed to pull an Ayame and be that dramatic.

With that true love firmly in mind, he forced himself to knock on Kei Amakura's door. Notorious for being overprotective of his nieces, Hatori was a bit frightened, but he maintained his legendary composure.

"Who is it?" a gruff voice growled. It shook Hatori's confidence a little, but he managed to keep the fear out of his voice when he answered,

"Hatori Sohma. Er, Mayu's boyfriend. May I speak to you for a moment?"

There was a series of incoherent mumblings and the unlocking of many chains, but eventually the door squealed open to reveal a rather pissed-looking Kei Amakura.

"What's wrong? Is Mayu sick or something?" he asked, chewing on the inside of his cheek and leaning on the doorframe. Hatori tried not to gulp out of nervousness.

"No, nothing's wrong, I just need to talk with you-"

"Get to the point, Lover Boy." Lover Boy. Kei had taken to calling him that when he finally accepted Mayu and Hatori as a couple. It annoyed him, but as long as he wasn't going to forbid me to ever see her again, he didn't mind.

He cleared his throat. "I- Ah- Um… I would like your permission to marry Mayu."

Kei was silent for a moment. Hatori thought maybe he was thinking it over, but his facial expression stayed the same- cold, uncaring, and hostile. Finally, he answered.

"No fucking way." He stepped back into the room and slammed the door shut, along with locking at least half of the chains.

This is going to be harder than I thought…

For reasons unknown, he found himself wandering over to Shigure's house. After Hatori'd told him what happened, Shigure looked so delighted Hatori could actually see his dog tail wagging.

"Hatori is in love! With a high school girl! Naughty, naughty," he sung. Hatori mentally facepalmed himself for the fifth time in the last ten minutes.

"It's not like that, you pervert."

"Suuuuuure it's not. Oh! I've got to call Ayame!" Shigure whipped out his phone and dialed so fast Hatori's head was spinning. In a second he was yapping away. Hatori decided to tune him out and started daydreaming about Mayu in a wedding dress…

"Hatori! HAT-OR-EE!" He jumped.

"What?" Hatori shouted, snapping out of his daydream. Shigure had an impish grin on his face, so he was prepared for his next comment.

"Hatori, you dog! You were thinking dirty thoughts, weren't you?"

Hatori tried to cover up his most uncharacteristic blush by glaring at Shigure with all he had. Of course, that just made it worse.

"Hahaha!" Shigure bellowed. "You really WERE thinking perverted thoughts, weren't you?'

"Shut up," Hatori muttered, crossing his arms and looking away. Shigure rested his chin on his arm that was propped up by his elbow and looked somberly around the room.

"You really like her don't you?"

Hatori fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Of course I do."

Shigure sat up, with a strange light shining behind his eyes that scared Hatori a little.

"No, I mean really like. I mean you would do anything for her. Am I right? Dying for her and all that jazz?"

"Yes, of course. What's that got to do with anything?"

Shigure grinned and abruptly stood up. He dragged Hatori to his feet and pushed him out the door.

"What are you doing, you nonsense dog?!" Hatori shouted. Shigure just laughed.

"Nothing, nothing. You just need to go! Don't you and Mayu share an apartment together? You'd hate to leave your new fiancée alone for dinner, wouldn't you?"

"I haven't even asked her yet!" Hatori exclaimed. He had the ring, (in fact, it was in his pocket right now…) but needed Kei's permission to ask her.

Shigure smiled and Hatori felt a chill go down his spine. "Don't worry, Haa-san. By this time next week, you'll be up to your noses in wedding invitations just begging to be sent out! Now, shoo, shoo, Lover Boy!"

Oh great… Hatori thought as he walked to his and Mayu's apartment. Now Shigure's calling me that, too…

Ayame couldn't have been happier if Yuki said he was getting married.

"Hatori's in love, Hatori's in love! Goodness, after Kana, I thought he might've gone gay… I was so worried! But now he's in love…" he ranted. Shigure smiled and propped his feet on the kitchen table.

"So you'll help me?"

"Of course I'll help you! What do you need me to do?"

Hatori couldn't stop his hands from shaking as he approached Shigure's house for the second time that week. Shigure had called in the middle of the night, raving about some wonderful idea he and Ayame had made up.

He was expecting something like a giant cake or a cheesy song. What he never anticipated was walking in and seeing Ayame trying to pull on a high school uniform.

"What in the world…?"

Shigure came out from behind the sliding door and grinned. He was dressed in one of Hatori's suits, the one he let Shigure borrow for the career conference. Hatori scowled and crossed his arms across his chest. Shigure chuckled, his face slightly apologetic, although not nearly enough.

"What the hell are you two doing?!" Hatori demanded. Shigure put his hands up as a sign of surrender.

"Well, Ayame and I were stuck for ideas, so I got out the wine-"

"Must've drunk a whole lot of it to think up something this sick."

"Aw, c'mon! So what if we were crashed? At least we remembered the idea! And this plan is fool-proof!" Shigure's eyes lit up like the little kid he truly was. Hatori uncrossed his arms and sighed.

"Exactly how is it fool-proof?"

"There are two plans! In one! The first one just involves Ayame dressing up as a girl, because he looks more like a girl than I do…"

Ayame looked up from tying a boot and flashed them a lipstick-smeared smile. "Don't you see, Ha'ri? These are the times when looking like a girl is a good thing! Why, if I didn't have such feminine features, you'd never be able to rescue your princess from the clutches of her evil uncle!"

Hatori had to summon up all of his patience to make a calm reply.

"He's not evil, he's just… Err…"

Shigure stood next to Ayame and put his arm around his shoulder. They wore matching smiles. "Exactly! Evil. Which is why we must act now, before it is too late!"

"Exactly what is the plan, anyway?"

Ayame gasped. "Shii-san, you never told him our wondrous plan?" Shigure shook his head.

"I guess I'll have to tell you now, then. In the first plan, Ayame acts like your fangirl, and as everyone knows, fangirls are stalkers, so Ayame would say he traced your scent to Kei's apartment!"

Hatori slapped his forehead with his palm. "And how exactly does that help?"

"Well, Ayame will then say how much you're in love with Mayu and how you never would go with any of your admirers. And if that doesn't work, then my part of the plan shall be used!"

Hatori couldn't keep the interest out of his tone. "And that is?"

"I. Shall be a condom salesman!"

For the second time that day, Hatori facepalmed.

Kei Amakura wasn't usually in the best mood. This worsened when his midday nap was interrupted by the chime of the doorbell. He dragged himself off the sofa and yanked open the door.

"What the hell do you want?" he grumbled, fighting a yawn and itching the back of his neck. Outside of his door was a young girl wearing a blue and white school uniform, with long silver hair and golden eyes. She clasped her hands behind her back and batted her long eyelashes at him.

"I was wondering if you knew the address of a man named Sohma Hatori," she cooed. Her voice was a little strange, but Kei could care less. (A/N: Kind of like a guy using a falsetto… hint, hint…)

"I have absolutely no idea where that creep lives. What do you want with him, anyway? He knock you up or something?"

The girl didn't look the least bit upset at his comment. "Well, I want to get him to sign my notebook, but since they say he only treats family, simply catching a cold or breaking a leg won't cut it."

Kei raised an eyebrow. "So you're stalking him?"

"Yeah, pretty much." The girl smiled while she nodded. This confused him a little bit, but he really didn't care.

Great, my niece's boyfriend has high school girls tracking his every move… He probably cheated on her with some of them, too, Kei thought.

"Damned pervert…" he muttered. The girl looked confused.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Oh, nothing… Say. He didn't do anything to you or any of your… friends, did he?"

The girl smiled, revealing lipstick-stained teeth. "Nope. He never evens talks to us. We hear he has a girlfriend, and he's thinking of proposing to her, but no one's sure…"

Over my dead body.

"Well, I don't know where he is, so don't bother coming back here." He started to close the door. Oddly, the girl stuck her foot inside the door, keeping it open.

"Sorry, but if he wanted to marry someone like, oh, say, your niece, would you let him?" she asked.

"Over my dead body," Kei responded, echoing his thoughts. With a final tug he slammed the door shut and went back to sleep.

Ayame sighed as he walked through Shigure's door and slumped into a seat.

"Shigureeeeee. My feet hurt. Those damn high schoolers are crazy for wearing heels all the time," he whined, and pulled off his shoes. Shigure walked into the kitchen with a bored-looking Hatori in tow. Shigure was so excited he skipped a little going into the room, but once he saw Aiya's beaten expression, he sobered quickly.

"Aw man. All that work for nothing?" Shigure whined. He fell into the seat next to Ayame, and Hatori leaned on the wall. "What exactly did he say?"

Ayame sighed, wiping his lipstick off. "'Over my dead body.'"

"I guess it's time for plan two, then. Ah well! At least we've got that to fall back on."

"You know, you still haven't told me exactly what happens in plan two," Hatori commented, not really caring. At this rate, he felt like he'd never marry Mayu. So he was a bit surprised when Shigure giggled.

"You don't need to know, Haa-san. Just leave it up to us. Or in this case, me."

Shigure checked his suit pockets, making sure they were loaded with everything he needed. After he assured himself they were full to bursting, he knocked on the door before him.

Kei Amakura, once again being woken up by a complete stranger, was, frankly, very pissed. As soon as he took in Shigure's businessman-like appearance, he slammed the door shut.

But Shigure, being Shigure, was persistent.

"Sir," he called. "Sir!"

"What?!" Kei snarled, opening the door. Shigure smiled and stepped back to avoid getting hit by the door.

"Are any young people here? Teenagers and such?"

"You're the youngest one in this building. What do you want?"

Shigure grinned and took a handful of condoms out of his pocket. "I've been sent by the schools to distribute these… er… precautionous items."

Kei stared at Shigure's hand, his face, his hand, his face, and back again to the hand.

"Why the hell are you here then?" Kei nearly shouted. But Shigure wouldn't let his confidence be shaken! And that was exactly what flashed through his mind as he fought to keep the smirk on his face.

"I hear you have two nieces. I'm the relative of one of their boyfriends. I thought you might want to give these to one of them," Shigure answered half-truthfully.

Kei turned a dark shade of red, and it sure wasn't embarrassment.

"I'll be damned before I let either Skywalker or Sohma touch my nieces. You're related to Sohma, aren't you?" Kei steamed. Shigure grinned and nodded. Kei snorted in contempt. "Figures. Tell that bitchass if he wants to marry my Mayu, he'll have to do it over my decapitated corpse."

Shigure was still trying to figure out what Kei's last words meant when the door slammed shut in his face.

"Damn…" Shigure muttered. Suddenly, an idea struck him, and he began banging on the door again.

This time when Kei yanked it open, he didn't say anything. His eyes were gleaming with an anger that can only be described as "The last thing you see before you die". His hand was clenched into a fist and he looked about ready to give Shigure a ride on Left-Swing Express back to Tokyo.

"Sir, I apologize for being so persistent, but you must allow Haa-san to marry Mayu!" Shigure pled, using his favorite look that brought out the begging dog in him. Kei sneered at him.

"Why should I? That bastard isn't good enough for my Mayu."

"I'm sorry to say this, but do you even know Mayu? Do you know how happy she is with Hatori? Do you see her glittering eyes or her giddy smile each time she sees him?" Shigure knew he was probably taking this one too far, but it was the last trick he had.

Unfortunately, Kei is every bit as stubborn as Shigure. With a final sneer he slammed the door shut and locked it all the way, until it reached the point where the wood groaned with the weight of the locks. Shigure sighed and moped back home, his tail between his legs.

Hatori was getting sick of waiting for Shigure to come back. It'd started to rain, and even if he didn't like to show it, he was concerned for the dog. However, Ayame didn't seem the least bit concerned as he baked "celebratory treats", which were actually cookies made from left-over batter they found in the pantry.

"Hatori's getting married, Hatori's getting married!" Ayame sung.

"Shut up, will you?" Hatori snapped uncharacteristically. Ayame chuckled.

"You need to have more confiden…" Ayame's voice trailed off at a sodden Shigure trudged through the door, wet condoms slipping out of his pockets. Ayame's face lit up immediately as he rushed over to Shigure, taking his coat.

"How'd it go? Huh? Huh? Huh? Do I hear wedding bells in the distance?" Ayame all-but-squealed, jumping up and down. Shigure sighed.

"The guy is set on not letting Mayu marry Ha'ri."

Hatori didn't hear a word he said as he stared at the condoms on the floor. "What the hell did you do, Shigure?" Shigure giggled, snapping out of his depression.

"Acted a condom salesman."

Hatori could feel an annoyed twitch beginning in his left eye. "What would that accomplish?"

"That you're always safe with Mayu!" Shigure beamed, looking like a little kid again.

"I haven't slept with her!" Hatori raged, his face turning red. For anger of embarrassment, no one could tell.

"Well when you do!"

Hatori stood up, knocking the chair to the floor. Without another word he stormed out of the house and before he could calm down enough to think, he was already outside Kei's apartment.

Well, I might as well try one last time… Hatori thought. For Mayu.

Hatori took the stairs two at a time, not daring to think for fear of turning back and giving up. He marched right up to Kei's door and before he could lose his nerve and let common sense flood in, he was banging on the door with so much force his hand started bruising immediately.

"Who is it no- Oh. Sohma," Kei said as he opened the door, his eyes narrowing into suspicious slits. "What the hell do you want now? Because if you think you're going to become my nephew-in-law-"

"Then I'm right," Hatori interrupted. Kei blinked in surprise.

"What did you say?" he asked in a low, dangerous tone.

"I said, then I'm right. I'm tired of playing games with you, Mr. Amakura, and I wanted it to be known that even if you disagree, I am marrying Mayu. I just think she'd like it better if you were there." Hatori was shocked at the words coming out of his mouth. It was as if something stronger, more powerful, had come over him and was now speaking through him.

Kei was silent. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned on the doorway, like last time, only this time he seemed to be actually thinking about it. After a few minutes, Hatori faded back to his normal self and was mentally kicking himself for being so stupid when Kei said,

"You know what, Lover Boy? You can stick up for yourself. And if you stick up for yourself to me, that proves you've conjured enough guts to actually be worthy of my Mayu. Sure, I won't like it, but I won't hate it… Openly."

Hatori couldn't believe his ears. "Y-You're letting me marry her?" Kei nodded stoically.

"Now get out of here, before I change my mind."

"Yessir," Hatori responded. He all-but run to his and Mayu's apartment building, high on giddy relief.

Mayu Amakura definitely loved Hatori Sohma.

She loved his hair, his eye(s), his voice. She loved knowing that she was one of the few people who could coax a real emotion out of him. And most of all, she loved that he put up with her uncle and dared to love her back.

She was pondering this love when Hatori burst through the door, soaking wet and breathless, but with a Cheshire-like grin on his face.

"Hatori!" Mayu cried, clutching her heart in surprise. "You scared me."

Hatori quickly closed the space between them as well as he could while still remaining human and kissed her. When he drew back she giggled.

"What up with you?"

Hatori's grin widened. He kneeled down on his right knee, took a small black box out of his pocket, and held her hands in his.

"Mayu, I know this is rather sudden, but I love you more than anything and although it took a while I convinced Kei to allow me to do this so, will you marry me?" he asked in one breath. It took Mayu a moment to gather what he said, but when she did, her smile matched his.

"Of course I will!" She tugged him off his knees and hugged him as tightly as she could and giggled when he changed into a seahorse.

"Ah well," she mused, picking him up in her palm. "I still love you."

A/N: Well that took a while…

Anywho, no, I do not mean the Mayuko from Fruits Basket. I mean the Mayu Amakura from Fatal Frame II. I know he's like thirteen years older, but so what? :D Tell meh what you think!

Mio Amakura and Anakin Skywalker are next.