Hey my name is Macy I'm xxCharmspeakerxx's friend and since she doesn't use this site anymore she's allowed me to use it so yeah. I'm not going to change anything on her profile just for future reference and I hope you like my story(ies). Please drop a review, I'm new here and I hope you like my story that I've written. I don't own any characters in the story by the way. Love you!
Chapter One: Getting Bad.
It's getting bad again, Rose thought as she paced in her room. What if I can't control this anymore? What if I go need to go back to the hospital again? What if the Doctor finds out? I can't tell anyone, no wait, I can talk to my mum; oh how I miss my mum, though, I know she's doing better without me. I'm just a screw up, a stupid ape like the Doctor says. I'm worthless! I need to get out of here!
"Rose?" The Doctor knocked on her door. He opened the door and saw the worried look on her face. She wore a strapless summer's dress that went down to her knees and plain black flats on. Her hands were in her hair and she was leaning forward a bit. "Rose, what's wrong?" The Doctor walked into her room, gentle held her hands and sat her on the bed next to him. He didn't let go on her hands, they were so soft but also because she looked so fragile, so small right now. The Doctor didn't like the look of her state. Her face wasn't glowing like it normally would, there were dark purple bags under her eyes from lack of sleep and her body posture seemed broken. Rose wouldn't look at the Doctor; she didn't feel the need to.
He hates me, he doesn't need me, the Doctor wants me out of here, why am I here? Why am I living? What is my purpose in life? What are you doing here? Get out of here! Go into the vortex and just stop breathing. Get a knife and stab it in your heart, neck, stomach! Watch the blood on your hands. Just get out of his world! Of the entire universe! Nobody wants you, nobody loves you!
"Yes?" Rose answered the doctor. The Doctor squeezed her hands and looked at her eyes. Rose closed her eyes as soon as she knew that the Doctor was trying to find them. They looked gross and she hated them, she hated herself all together!
"What's wrong, Rose?" The Doctor let go of her hand and tilted her face up using his thumb and his finger to hold her head in place. Her eyes still weren't open, and he didn't think that they'll open anytime soon. Maybe she's just tired, the Doctor thought, she never acts like this though. "You can trust me, right?"
Shut up, I know you hate me. Stop pretending to care all the time! You want me out? It's okay, once we visit my mum I won't come back. I won't come back to my mum either, I'll say goodbye to them though, maybe send a card to them. Yeah, I'll send a note to them plus the Doctor. Goodbye, Doctor.
"Do you mind if we go back to my present time? I just really need to see my mum for a day." Rose asked the Doctor tearing up. The Doctor nodded and gave her a tight hug. He felt her tears dropping onto his black leather jacket. Normally he wouldn't be this affectionate to his companions but Rose was different to all his other companions, this was Rose Tyler.
"Give me a couple of days; the TARDIS is just regaining some power as we go along." He pulled away from Rose and kissed her forehead. "Get some sleep, you looked exhausted." He left Rose once she had changed and was tucked into her bed and changed the course rout back to London. He was convinced that Rose would get some sleep, but she didn't get any. Instead, Rose's thoughts were running through her head. When she thought about h everyone's smile she's seen over her life time, her body ached at their happiness. Laughter, smiles, playing games, everything she thought about, her body ached painfully. It wouldn't stop aching, her thoughts carried on and it was mentally hurting her.
"This. Pain. Needs. To. Stop." Rose whispered as she pushed the covers off her body and walked into the bathroom. She opened her make up bag where she kept a blade for safe keeping. She swore to herself that she'll only use the blade if she's in trouble and also when she was younger, Rose used to have trouble sleeping so she'd take sleeping tablets and she used the blade to cut up the tablet but that's the only use of the blade that was needed back then. She picked up the blade and then the blade kissed her skin on her wrist. The kiss was so deep, that some of the pain had left her. The blood started dripping from her wrist as she outlined the slit that she made.
The Doctor hates you, cut; your mum hates you, cut; c'mon! Even Micky hates you and he said that he'll always be there for you. Cut.
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Love You! xxCharmspeakerxx