You will not break
.
She made me cry again. My mother, the one person who is supposed never to hurt me and always to care for me, made me cry. Again.
.
…i was so young- you should have known…
Blair Waldorf hides her face in the darkness of her room and sweeps away her tears. But there's really no reason: there are always new to come.
She blames herself. She blames her never ending wishes for perfection. She wanted them so much to be together. She wanted them to try again. They were happy once upon a time. They were happy, but now they are broken. And she broke with them.
She blames her. Eleanor was unable to keep her husband, unable to make him happy. And now her father is in France, because of her! It's all her fault and Blair can't forgive her.
She tried. She really did. Although not at first, when her mother needed her most. Then she just couldn't offer it. She couldn't because she wouldn't understand. She was still trying to make it, them, their family work. Then she wouldn't forgive, she was busy processing the situation.
When she calmed down and realized that it would be for the best for her parents to be apart - although she hasn't really accepted this not even now - she tried to be understanding. She tried to be caring, to offer support.
And Blair Waldorf is not supportive, nor understanding, nor caring. But, nowadays, she's alone; no best-friend, no family; just an oblivious boyfriend. Those made her try hard for her mother. But every time she said a good word, every time she offered compassion the door was closed.
And that's why she can't forgive. Not anymore, not now and, in her opinion, not ever.
But there she is crying again. She's crying hard, sobbing, but her closed doors and windows protect her from people's curious eyes. She's crying; not because she's alone, not because her family is now broken; she stopped crying over those a long time ago. She's crying because she excels in her class, because she organized a perfect party, because she's lost two pounds. But that isn't enough. Her mother's look is still disappointed. She still wants more and Blair can't find the courage to get them.
…i watched you down, i heard you cry…
"Miss Blair?" Dorota's voice is heard from outside. "Mr. Chuck for you."
Any other day she would have run to the bathroom and swept her tears away. She would have made herself presentable; she would have opened the curtains and wore her fakest of smiles. But today, she can't remember what Chuck wants and she can't bring herself to pretend nothing's wrong. So she doesn't answer, knowing Dorota will get the message and give her visitor a good excuse.
"Waldorf, what the hell are you doing? I thought we were getting that Brooklyn idiot out of our lives for good today?"
Of course, he charmed Dorota. Of course, he found a way to convince her into letting him in.
"Get out, I'm busy." Strict, professional answer. Good enough to hide the shaking of her voice.
"In the darkness?" he mocks turning on the lights.
"Just leave, okay?" she exclaims, unable to restrain herself this time.
He looks at her. At her puffed eyes and wet face. She closes them and looks away, hoping he'll leave. Hoping he's that decent.
She hears the door closing, the lights being turned off again. But soon faint light passes through her closed eyelids. She opens her eyes and she notices he has opened the curtains and now, he's sitting next to her at the floor.
"I guess we'll take care of her another day, huh?" he murmurs.
"Go, Chuck. There's nothing you can do," she tells him, her voice calmer this time - almost relaxed.
He smirks. "I can say a couple of things that will make you forget... Or I can do a couple of things…"
A playful yet hard slap on his arm stops him, but he smiles, hearing her chuckle. "Not me, Bass. Every girl but me."
"What makes you feel you're better, anyway?"
…'cause you're the only one…
For a moment there's no answer. But then he feels her shaking next to him and, turning to look at her, he's surprised to see she's crying. He didn't expect that. He expected a cold answer, a smirk, a smart come back. But he got tears and Chuck Bass started to feel guilty.
Blair Waldorf is the one girl he'll never have, but he doesn't care. She's his friend, one of the very best. She's not like Nate; their friendship is different. She's the one that he'll mock only to be mocked back. They plot and manipulate - and they are good; they are really good. Together they are unbeatable.
But now, Blair's broken and he can't do much on his own. He's the one to gather the pieces, he's the one to fix it - it's always him lately.
So he pulls her closer and lets her cry in his shoulder, he lets her grab and crinkle his suit. She doesn't tell him anything. She never does anyway. She just cries and he just holds her.
"You are the stronger person I know, Blair. You'll get over it."
That's the only thing he tells her. It's harsh and not really comforting. But it suits her fine; she knows what it means, he knows that's all she wants to hear. He's here and she's not alone anymore, and that's enough for her. Because she knows she can always, always, turn to him.
Written for redenzione, a fellow GG fan.
Reading your pre- series stories I realized I could give it a shot, myself. I hope you liked it:)
Beta read by Erie, Draco's Angelic Goddess.