Dear Edward,
It's me…Bella. Today's my 19th birthday. It's been a long year…well, for me anyway. You're probably too distracted to remember.
I miss you…a lot. I've been lonely. Well, Jacob Black's been a good friend lately but he's just not you. Every night I wake screaming from nightmares. Well, a nightmare since it's the same every night; you leave and take my heart with you, leaving my shell behind to suffer life without you.
Charlie would come in and wake me up, for the first few months anyway. After awhile, he stopped. He tells me that I'm a zombie, a shell of my former self. That I go through everyday not really registering what happens. He's right. I don't talk to anyone anymore. I sit alone at lunch and avoid talking about why you left…why you left me behind. It hurts too much to tell them that you don't love me anymore so I just disconnect myself from life.
Charlie and Jake made me apply for colleges after you left. They helped fill out applications to a few places, including Dartmouth and University of Alaska, but I ended up going to Olympia College with Angela; she's my roommate now. I decided to major in Behavioral Sciences and minor in Music. Since you left, the only thing that can make me fall asleep at night is thinking about the lullaby you made me. I can't remember most of it but even the snippets I do remember help. I want to remember it, so I figure learning piano would help. Hopefully, by my next letter, I can tell you about my progress with the lullaby.
"Bella, are you alright?" My dad stole my attention from the letter in front of me as he visually searched me, waiting for an answer.
As I was caught offguard, I stuttered for a response. "Oh, uh, I'm fine dad. Just, uh...writing a letter to Mom. That's all." What a lie. If he knew that I was writing a letter to my exboyfriend who left me, he'd throw a fit.
"Oh, well, alright then. You looked like you were about to cry. That's why I asked." Well, he's got that right. "Here, I got this for you. Happy Birthday, Bells." He handed me a small package, wrapped in newspaper with a red present bow on top.
As I unwrapped it, a small ornament fit for a tree appeared. "Dad, what is it?"
"It's a Christmas tree ornament. Read what's written on it and you'll understand why I got it for you."
I began to read the small quotes, that seemed to be removed from a book and shoved inside the ornament, and realized that they're quotes from Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights. "Oh wow. Thanks, dad." I placed the ornament on the newspaper and stood from where I sat at the dining room table. As my dad retrieved the ornament with a sigh, I walked over to a drawer in the kitchen and pulled it open, looking for an envelope and a stamp.
Was I really about to mail this joke to him? Bella, I'd love to hear from you. Go on, mail it to me. Well, you might want to find my address first.
His ghostly voice rang inside of me and I shook my head to rid the voice. I don't have the courage to actually mail it. I know I don't. So I tri-folded the paper and placed it in the envelope, licking it shut and stamping it but not writing any addresses on it. With a sigh, I retreated to my room where I threw the letter in my desk drawer and collapsed on my bed, dreading every second I spent without him.