"Damn!" was a cry heard from the boy's dorm all the way to the common room. Sirius and Remus looked at each other and then came to the conclusion that it was James' screech. The boys raced up the stairwell to find James Potter jumping repetitively on a boomerang.
"Take –stomp- that –stomp- you –stomp- evil –stomp- whore!" screamed James at the boomerang beneath his feet.
"Dude, are you okay?" Sirius asked nervously, stepping backward.
"I can't get the boomerang to come back to me," James said angrily.
"Let me see you try throwing it one more time and I'll give you some pointers," Remus instructed.
James breathed in heavily, picking up the boomerang. Sirius and Remus watched intently. He swung the boomerang with all his strength, and it landed inches in front of his feet. "DAMMIT!" Sirius stifled a laugh. "If you think it's so easy, let's see you get it to come to you!" James huffed.
Sirius shrugged and said, "Accio boomerang" and said boomerang flew up from James's feet and into Sirius's outstretched hand.
Remus smacked his forehead with his hand. "Not with magic you idiot."
Sirius looked at him questioningly and muttered "oh". James sent a murderous glare at the boomerang.
"Okay, okay, okay! This is how you ACTUALLY throw a boomerang," Remus said proudly, picking up the annoying boomerang. He let it slide easily from his fingers and it quickly flew right back to him.
James fumed in awe. "How the hell did you do that?!?" Remus folded his arms and smiled arrogantly.
"Hey Moony, I didn't know that you could to silent magic" Sirius spoke with a goofy smile on his face. James and Remus both gave him a look that clearly meant "why are we friends with such a thick dolt?" They then went back to their conversation.
"It takes talent," Remus informed his with fake modesty.
"We all know your only talent is your brains mate," James said clapping him on the back, "Now seriously, how'd you do it?"
"I take offense to that statement!" Remus huffed as he polished the boomerang with his knuckles.
Sirius picked up the boomerang following how Remus showed them, but with a BIT too much force. It went fine… until it came back full force and hit James smack dab in the middle of his forehead.
"That thing is out to get me!" James cried on the floor in fetal position, rubbing his head. Remus flat out laughed and Sirius tried to cover it up with coughing.
"I'll show you, ya hoe!" James raved, storming to the boomerang, picking it up, and trying to break it in half. "How do you like that Ms. Boomerang? Huh? How do you like me now?!?!!!" James yelled, unsuccessfully trying to break the boomerang. This went on for a good 10 minutes with out any improvement. Sirius got fed up and ripped the boomerang straight from James's hands and split it.
Instead of it splitting into 2 pieces like it should have, it split into 3. "Oh yeah! I'm so good that you can't run from my muscles," Sirius bragged, kissing his biceps.
James had gotten so angered by this that he almost wrung Sirius's throat, but he remembered that no one truly could run from his muscles, so he stopped himself.
Out of friggin nowhere, the 3 pieces came alive and said "You thought you could stop me? Muahahahahaha!"
"All I'm going to say is I told you so," James yelled.
The pieced then proceeded to eat the Marauders.
Moral of the Story: Never mess with boomerang whores.
Fin
(P.S. "Hello. I'm Christy Lee and today's top story is on 3 mysterious pieces of what appear to be a boomerang. Strange deaths have been occurring everywhere those strange pieces have been seen and no one can explain why. We have reason to believe that the "boomerang" pieces… OH MY GOD! OH MY GO-" Beep! Color fade-out