EDITED! Thanks to Lilac Rose6 ,evilanimeninja and an anon-reviewer... You guys are awesome! Thank you!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh or any of its related characters or themes.
AN1: Both Ryou and Yami Bakura have their own bodies in this fic. I changed Yami Bakura's name from Akefia to Touzokuou (aka. Thief King) :) Enjoy!
AN2: Yeah yeah, Mokuba's older… but then, this story wouldn't have worked if I kept him at his older age. THUS… ALTERNATE UNIVERSE! is born. LOL.
AN3: Alrighty, expect someserious OOC-ness! You have been warned! Continue at your own peril!
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Bedtime Story – Bakura Style
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Ryou smiled as he opened the fairytale book. "What story would you like me to read you, Mokuba?" he asked politely, paging absently through the book.
Snow White... Sleeping Beauty... Three little Pigs... Little Red Riding Hood...
"What the hell isthis?" Touzokuou snapped, snatching the pastel coloured book from his Hikari, "You call thisliterature?"
"I call this a children's story book, now give it!" Ryou warned lowly and snatched the book back.
Mokuba, who had been sitting silently for the past few minutes, suddenly perked up, "What about you make one up instead?".
"I could always just tell him one of my tales of Egypt..." Touzokuou said, grinning slyly, "A tale of magic and monsters... evil and treachery... blood and intesti-"
"ALLRIGHT!" Ryou lunged forwards, slapping a hand over his Yami's mouth, "Nothing in that sounded child-friendly... or story telling for bed time... I would rather not have Seto Kaiba haunting me for the rest of my life with his wide arrange of lawyers and freakishly well-armed bodyguards ... who always look like they're about to shoot me..."
"I coullllfff takkggghh themphhh, Laammmfflooorrggdd" Touzokuou's confident came out muffled from behind Ryou's hand.
"Geez... I'm ten... I just want something fun to listen to before I go to bed. Seto's banned the TV and my cellphone after I ..." and Mokuba's explaination drifted off into a blush. He wasn't supposedto be removing parental guidance from the TV, but Seto had made the codes soeasy to crack that he couldn't resist... besides, he IS Seto Kaiba's brother after all. Seto didn't get all the brains in the family, and sometimes the elder brother tended to forget that little fact.
Ryou finally removed his –saliva covered- hand from his Yami's mouth with a grimace, "Ugh… alright… your older brother asked us to baby-sit you this afternoon… since Yugi and the gang are out of the question… so… " he wiped his hand off on his jeans, but caught Mokuba's glare in his sights, "… What?".
"Not even Roland gets to 'baby-sit' me…. I'm TEN … besides, Seto's just a sore loser," Mokuba pouted finally, crossing his arms.
Ryou just sighed and flipped open the book again, "What about Little Red Riding Hood?"
"What the hell is a little red riding hood?" Touzokuou asked, peering over Ryou's shoulder to stare at the picture, "Is that wolf going to eat her?"
"You've never heard of it?" Mokuba asked incredulously.
"Ever heard of a Glasgow smile?" Touzokuou growled back, his pride hurt by the youngest Kaiba brother's simple question.
It took a few seconds before Ryou finally connected what his Yami had just said and he chuckled nervously. Touzokuou scanned through the story to get an idea of its contents before grinning, "Alright... " he sat up and swept his arms flamboyantly, "The tale begins on a murky... rainy day... the skies filled with lightning and the thunder sweeping the lands..."
"-and Little Red Riding Hood had some goodies packed for her grandma. Some donuts, root beer, marshmallows and cream puffs... ooohhh...creammm puffs..." Ryou continued, smiling to himself as he added the last item, his mouth watering. He made a mental note to buy some on the way back home.
Touzokuou started wriggling his fingers mysteriously, "She made her way through the woods... wolf howls and the creaking of the old forest trees were the only sounds around her... but the little girl kept going, deeper and deeper into the dark forest, not once suspecting a giant, bloodthirstywolf stalking her..." he snapped his teeth together dramatically, causing poor Mokuba to jump inadvertently.
"-the big badwolf met up with Little Red Riding Hood and asked her where she was going... she told him that she was on her way to her grandma's and she showed her bag of goodies to the wolf..." Ryou interjected, trying to lighten the mood a bit, "the wolf grinned a toothy grin -"
At this point, Ryou had to pull Touzokuou back by his collar. The elder of them had been hovering above Mokuba, growling ferociously, holding his hands up as sharp talons. "-and told Little Red Riding Hood to take a 'short-cut'... but she didn't know that the path the wolf had sent her on... was the looooonngg waayyy."
Mokuba laughed nervously and shifted in his bed, "Wow... you guys really know how to tell a story..."
"Silence!" Touzokuou practically yelled, standing up dramatically, "Now... the biiiiggggbad wolf arrived at the littlegirl's grandmother's cottage... he knocked softly, waiting in silence for his prey to answer the door... then just as the frail old woman opened the door, he opened his gigantic jaws and ATE HER!"
Ryou and Mokuba's eyes were wide and both looked slightly terrified at this point. "Uhh... this isa children's story... Touzokuou..." Ryou said, trying not to show how freaked out he's becoming.
"Nonsense... you have liked my tales so far, have you not?" Touzokuou looked over to Mokuba as he spoke.
Mokuba nodded enthusiastically, even though his head was starting to disappear behind his bedspread. "I-i-it's awesome... " and of course, only children would loveto get scared.
"He then proceeded to dress in her attire, disguising himself as an old woman... he hid in the covers of the bed and lifted the duvet up to his chin to hide his talons... and waited in the dark room for his next delicious piece of freshmeat to arrive..." Touzokuou said and chuckled lowly.
"AA-aand... now, Little Red Riding Hood finally arrives at her grandma's house, knocking on the door before entering," Ryou paused to mimic knocking before continuing. He wasn't sure that storytelling was the bed idea anymore, especially since Mokuba's disappearing even further behind the comforter and will probably have nightmares about this little tale tonight. "-she smiles as she walked closer to her grandma... 'hello, Grandma!... I brought you some goodies'..." he mimicked a high-pitched girly voice.
Both Mokuba and Touzokuou burst out in laughter at Ryou's girly voice. "You really sounded like a girl!" Mokuba managed to say between fits of laughter.
"I always knewyou were a girl on the inside!" Touzokuou laughed and clapped Ryou on the back.
Ryou sent a kick to his Yami's hip before continuing on, "'Thank you, my dear...'the wolf said, mimicking Little Red Riding Hood's grandma's voice..."
"-The Wolf's not the only one who's making a good mimicking of an old lady's voice..." Touzokuou said, hi-fiving Mokuba as they howled with laughter.
"Do youwant to tell the story?" Ryou snapped back, blushing beet-red.
"YES! I'd love to," Touzokuou said grandly.
Ryou sighed, wanting to kick himself in the head now. Of course his yami would love to tell this story.
"And so... the defenceless little girlsaw the sharp flesh-rendering teeth as the wolf spoke... and she said, 'Grandmother... what... BIG eyes you have..'." Touzokuou grinned, leaning forwards intimidating Mokuba –who, in turn, squirmed backwards.
"... the naive little girlwent on to say...'Grandmother... what big ears you have'...", and Ryou chuckled as Touzokuou pinched Mokuba on the ear, causing the latter to yelp.
"... and then... the fragile ten-year old asked her seemingly dear old grandmother...WHAT- BIG- TEETH YOU HAVE!" and Touzokuou flashed his canines, growling menacingly out of his throat.
Mokuba involuntarily shivered, squirming away from the elder man. But, even though he seemed to be scared pretty bad, he was still grinning.
"-AND now, Little Red Riding Hood was a smart girl, and she ran as fast as her Nikes could take her down the road..." Ryou said with a forced smile, trying to lighten the mood, "and did she run fast! She even passed Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner!"
"Who's that?" Mokuba asked, tilting his head.
"You've never heard of Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner?" Ryou asked incredulously. He sighed, trying to find some other cartoon character to compare to. But, all that kept popping into his head was Spongebob Squarepants and Strawberry Shortcake.
"Leave it to foolish Hikari's to use comparisons a child couldn't fathom..." Touzokuou tisked and turned his attention back to Mokuba, "Now...the wolf is averyfast runner... his talons digging into the muddy earth as he ran after the defenceless child, ready to tear the fle-"
"-Fffaasssttt running girl from the road and also adding her to the menu... BUT... the wolf didn't plan on Little Red Riding Hood... flipping open her phone and calling RAMBO! " Ryou yelled triumphantly, pumping his fists into the air.
Touzokuou grinned widely at the thought, his grin only widened as they could hear Seto yelling them to 'Shut up' from his office. He was now decidedly impressed by his Hikari's lung-power.
"YEAH! RAMBO IS AWESOME!" Mokuba said excitedly, practically bouncing up and down.
"JUST as the Big BAD wolf caught up to Little Red Riding Hood... Rambo arrived! He's got ammo strapped all over, his RPG's and machine guns all strapped to him... and he's got a whole army behind him and they're all ready to fire," Ryou said ominously, grinning internally as both Touzokuou and Mokuba were staring at him with a mesmerized look on their faces.
"... AAANNNNDDDDD – the end!" Ryou smiled as two shocked faces stared at him. He snapped the book shut with a snap and grinned widely.
"That's EVIL! You can't end it there!" Mokuba said indignantly, pouting cutely.
"You must finish the story!" Touzokuou said, waving his arms around.
"It IS finished... night, Mokuba!" Ryou said sweetly and tugged on Touzokuou's arm, "Let's get going..."
Mokuba looked like he was about to complain, but a yawn met him instead. "Fine... but tomorrow you'll finish it... right?" he said after a few moments.
"Sure," Ryou said reluctantly and smiled.
Mokuba turned on to his side and pulled his comforter up to his chin, "Thanks for the story... night, guys," he said and shut his eyes.
Touzokuou and Ryou said their goodbyes and left Mokuba's room. They headed down the hall, calling a unsynchronized and veryreluctant goodbye to Seto Kaiba. And that little courtesy was met with a 'You better not have freaked him out with another Freddie Kruger story!'.
"We'd never do that!" Ryou countered indignantly. But, Touzokuou merely chuckled. It took a few moment before Ryou looked over to his Yami, "Did ... you?"
Touzokuou laughed again, punching his Hikari good-naturedly on the shoulder, "Of course not," he lied casually.
Ryou thought for a moment before finally bursting out in a giggling fit, "... Heheh... I guess it's a good thing I didn't add in the farting-cannon into Rambo's weaponry arsenal then..."
"Farting-cannon? Really, Landlord?"
Ryou smirked, slapped his hand over his mouth and blew a rashberry –one which sounded VERY convincing.
3….2….1- "SOMEBODY'S ABOUT TO GET FIRED!" they could hear Seto's scream, Mokuba's laughter and both Bakura's footsteps fleeing from the scene.
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Happy Birthday Bakura!