Rosalie And Emmett's Wedding
Intro : Ooh from now on my intro's or little mid comments will be in bold. Ok this story is set in the 1900's before Bella and all the trouble she caused. Everything is VERY chaotic. Rosalie wants everything perfect and its being held in the forest. There a few parts. And I will explain all of them like this.
Part.1. DRESSING ROSALIE CULLEN.
Intro : yes yet another intro. How many can you get but any who. Alice and Rosalie are in the big dressing room. Alice is still making up Rosalie's dress 2 hours before the wedding and this is how it went.
Rosalie : Hurry Up !!!! Aw
"Alice sticks pin in rosalies leg"
Rosalie : AWWWWWWWWWWW
Alice : your made of stone. The pin itself is blunt WHY ARE YOU AWWIN.
Rosalie : I thought you were meant to be fast ???
Alice : I MAY BE SMALL BUT I AM POWERFULL
Rosalie : FOR THE LOVE OF BLOOD JUST DRESS ME YOU LITTLE MIDGET THING
Alice : I'm not small. I'm just not tall
Rosalie : Awwwwwwwww
Alice : I didn't even touch you !
Rosalie : JUST HURRY UP ! You still have my hair and all to do
Alice : WELL IF I HAD MORE NOTICE MAYBE EVERYTHING WOULD BE IN ORDER
Rosalie : What ? 27 hours not enough for you ?
Alice : Well not when your working with a BLONDIE BRAT !
Rosalie : You know what ?
Alice : What ?
Rosalie : with that hair do. You look like an electrocuted kitten.
"Alice jabs full needle into Rosalie's ankle"
Rosalie : OWWWWWWWWWW OWWWW OMG
Alice : Frozen kitten that !. Crap
Rosalie : What's crap ?
Alice : the needles lost in your frozen ankle .
Rosalie : OOOH hurry up for the love of --
Alice : THERE IM DONE YOU…. FREAK !
"Rosalie turns to look in the long mirror at a long strapless, diamond lovely gown"
Alice : well…….
Rosalie : I -
Alice : yes
Rosalie : well I -
Alice : SAY IT !
Rosalie : I hate it so much I want to hit it so hard with my frozen guts and feed it to Jacob.
Alice : well. I feel like I could dress you in a black plastic bag, tie your stupid flawless hands and push you down that aisle and have me looking the prettiest
Rosalie : Alice, no matter how hard you try you are always going to look your kitten mad self
"Alice goes down stairs. Gets a plastic bag. Takes the dress of Rosalie dresses her a black plastc bag and ties her to a chair."
Rosalie : let me go !!
Alice : WEAR MY DRESS
Rosalie : ID RATHER WEAR KNITTED VOMIT !
Alice : take can be arranged. NOW I WILL DO YOUR HAIR
Rosalie : KEEP THE FLICK MACHINE TO YOURSELF NOW
" Alice starts curling rose's hair"
Alice : ever feel sad you have a fanny spilt hair
Rosalie : WHAT !
Alice : your hair . Is fanny spilt and waxed.
Rosalie : EVER FEEL SAD PEOPLE LOOK FOR OPEN WIRES WHEN THEY SEE YOUR HAIR
" Alice finishes Rosalie's hair at super speed"
Alice : Dumb blonde they even froze your brain
Rosalie : I AM NOT DUMB
Alice : Ok so what's the capital of Washington ?
Rosalie : Emmm "W"
Alice : Ooh yea
Alice : I don't know what Emmett see's in you I really, really don't.
Rosalie : well I don't know how Jasper even see's you with all his curly bob's
Alice : WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY… ABOUT MY LOVERS CURLY BOBS
Rosalie : Hmmm nothing.
Alice : Yeah.. Ok your done
"Rosalie looks in mirror at her in the plastic bag with her own set of curly bob's"
Rosalie : FINE. Ill wear the dress
Alice : YEY !
Rosalie : don't get over exited you might fart a spark
"Alice puts rose in dress and add's her shoes"
Alice : Ok ill just get the flowers and were good to go
Rosalie : you ordered red and blue roses right
Alice : yes
Rosalie : roses
Alice : yes
Rosalie : Red
Alice : yes
Rosalie : And blue
Alice : if I have to make it anymore clearer YES !
" A flower man knocks on the door"
Alice : Come in
Flower Man : I have some white tulips for Alice Cullen
Alice : Tulips
Rosalie : Tulips
Rosalie : white
Alice : White tulips
Rosalie : Tulips
Flower Man : NO IM ONLY MESSIN .. Bluebells YES TULIPS !
Rosalie : OOH god
Alice : I ORDERED ROSES
Flower Man : And………….
Alice : I think your being very rude. So if you don't mind you bitch. GET ME MY ROSES
Rosalie : THIS IS NOT HAPPING
Flower Man : Look Kitten Girl I ----
" Jasper storms into room with evil eyes against Flower Man"
Jasper : seems you have a problem Mr………..em… FLOWER MAN!
Flower Man : not t'all I was just… em… I… … and… I
Jasper : YOU WANNA RUN… NOW. APOLOGIZE TO KITTEN GIRL AND BRING ME BACK 200 RED ROSES & 200 BLUE ROSES FREE OF CHARGE.. BITCH !
Flower : Actually I have roses in the van. Ill get them now
Jasper : RUN !
Jasper : Rosalie you look…… great love the curly bobs
Rosalie : as do I
Alice : Rosalie will you call out that list for me so I can see if every things checked.
Rosalie : Sure
Rosalie : ok. Frozen Rosalie ice sculpture ?
Alice : Check
Jasper : I thought that was a waste of money. Like you could have just stood there.
Rosalie : White diamond gazebo and flower arrange ?
Alice : Check
Rosalie : A "blondes are the best" banner
Alice : check
Rosalie : A " Rose is the shit" banner
Alice : check
Rosalie : cow, deer, elk and mountain lion blood serving ?
Alice : check
Rosalie : hair/dress/make-up done ?
Alice : Check
Rosalie : and last but not least ---
" Edward storms into room"
Rosalie : excuse me bronzey I'm in the middle of a list
Rosalie : anyway. Last but not least.. Emmett ?
Alice : OOH no.
Rosalie : WHERE'S MY EMMETT ???
Edward : that's why I have come I'm afraid that something has happened
Rosalie: WHAT ! IS ! IT !
Edward : well.. Kermit the frog out of the muppets he and Aro came to Emmett and Emmett decided to leap after Kermit to America and we don't know where he is now.
Rosalie : EMMETT !
Alice : ARO !
Jasper : wait . Kermit the frog.
Rosalie : IF THAT BUFF HUNKY GOLDEN EYED IMBOSILE DOESN'T GET HIS FROZEN BEHIND BACK NOW THIS MINUTE OOH I SWEAR THERE WILL BE SEROIUS CONSIQUENCES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Alice : Edward, what happened ?
Part.2. WHAT HAPPENED TO EMMETT WHEN KERMIT THE FROG AND ARO CAME
Yes people yet another intro. This is what happened to Emmett whist Rosalie was getting dressed in black plastic bags.
this is set in Edwards room with Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper & Edward. Edward like Alice is jabbing pins into Emmett's legs. Yes Edward is quite the designer.
Emmett : jeez Edward 12 hours and still no criss cross pattern. Im ashamed
Edward : DAMN YOU. YOU TROUSERS YOU WILL DO CRISSY CROSSYS
Carlisle : so people what songs do you want playing today ?
Edward : Tina Turner
Jasper : of course
Emmett : Tom Jones ?
Carlisle : Queen ?
Emmett :do you HAVE to do cross stitch ??
Edward : IF YOU WANT TO BE PRETTIFULL
Emmett : fine.
Jasper : So Carlisle, who's coming to this wedding then
Carlisle : well everyone. The Irish girls-
Emmett : ooh were so drunk
Carlisle : rain forest people, Tanya
Edward : OOH NO
Carlisle : Kate.. And you know the rest. Ooh we have 2 new guests. Aro and he said he's bringing a special friend
Edward : who ?
Carlisle : god only knows
Emmett : can I just say. That you's REALLY know how to throw a stag night
Edward : OOH EDWARD GET OVER IT. So what a glass of wine, mountain lion blood and titanic isn't a good stag night ?
Emmett : NOT WHEN YOUR FATHER AND TWO BROTHERS CRY TEARLESS SOBS
Edward : how can you not cry. You must have a heart of stone
Emmett : ACTUALLY…. YA
Carlisle : Is that KERMIT THE FROG !
Edward : KERMIE THE FROGGEY !
Emmett : ELMO !!
Carlisle : what ??
Emmett : HA Aro is married to Kermit the frog !
Edward : Lucky B*****d
" Aro and Kermit fly into the bedroom"
Aro : my brothers. How are you
Kermit : wow. They sparkle
Aro : yes. We do
Carlisle : ARO WHY DOES KERMIT KNOW WERE VAMIPIRES
Aro : he's a part of the Volturi
Edward : how come ??
Aro : He's my……………….. Lover
Carlisle : That's…………. great
Edward : yes great… congrats
Kermit : were getting married next November
Emmett : HAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA OOH FROZEN LAUGHS FROZEN LAUGHS OOH HA HE HA. WHOS WEARING THE DRESS !
Edward : EMMETT !….. don't be so rude of course Aro's wearing it. Kermit's not that gay
Aro : OOH OFFENISE TAKIN !!OMG CHEEK OF SOME PEOPLE. EMMETT YOUR OFFICALY ON MY DEATH LIST !
" Aro pulls out sribelly list"
Aro's Death List :
Mrs. Piggy - because shes in love with my man
Marylin Monroe- hate her mole
Jane-bullies me
Forrest Gump-I HATE THE WAY HE SAYS MOMMA
Dracula-scares me
EMMETT !!!-made fun of me
Emmett : Oh im soooo scared your going to send sesame street after me
Kermit : MUPPETTS actually
Aro : WE'RE GONNA KILL YOU.. And your big impressive biceps
Emmett : DON'T TELL ME YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON MEE
Aro : No
Edward : NOT what your thinking
Kermit, Emmett : What is he thinking ??
Edward : he wants to strap him down and kiss his biceps one by one and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.
" Emmett runs to Aro. Hits him a slap and throws him out the window"
Kermit : Emmett you do reliase what ypu hav just on.
Emmett : what ?
Kermit : well Aro is jane's bitch so that means that jane is his pimp. Which means when you mess with a bitch the pim comes after you. Which means Janes gonna burn the brain off you.
Emmett : SHIT. WELL NOT IF NO ONE TELLS HER
Kermit : well seems as your biceps ruined my relationship I will
" kermit fly's out the window to tell jane"
Emmett : OOH HE IS SO DEAD !
" emmett flys out window to kill Kermit the Frog"
Jasper : I smell rude flower man
Carlisle : Ask him for daisy's lol
Edward : doe's no one reliaze like Emmett is gone.
Jasper : And…………..
Part 3 What Happened When Emmett Went To kill Kermit The Frog
If you want me to continue this story please comment. Just give honest opioun good/bad . Thanks