Disney Villans club
"Okay, Disney Villains called to order." Mother Gothel calmed everything down.
"Ok, our friends from, Lady and the Tramp, The Jungle book, Pinocchio, Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Emperor's new groove, Wreck it Ralph, and Robin Hood aren't here tonight because of various other activities, in the underworld." Mother Gothel informed everyone.
"Remind me again why you're the president of this club, and I rule the underworld?" Hades sits on his throne, annoyed with Gothel.
"Because everyone voted for me to be president of this club. Everyone likes me!"
"Whatever sweet cheeks."
"Ugh. Anyway, would everyone like to go around and say your name and your accomplishments? We did this last time, but I think it'd be good refresher."
A mumble of anger went through the crowd, as usual. Gaston started.
"I'm Gaston, handsomest man on Earth. I almost killed the Beast. Belle, protagonist, was totally into me."
"No she wasn't." Gothel argued.
"Yeah she was. She was totally in love with me."
"Sure." Gothel said.
"GRR! ARGRRRR! GRRRRRRRRRRR! ROOOOAAAAR!" Mor'du is a bear, nobody knows what he says.
"I lead Hun. I speak no good English. I almost kill Emperor of China. Survived avalanche started by girl. Stupid girl."
"I am Maleficent, I cursed the protagonist. She slept for a hundred years and didn't age. Then I became a mighty dragon and almost killed her boyfriend. Stupid asshole killed me instead."
"Maleficent, we use nice words in this club." Gothel scolded Maleficent.
"Sure we do."
"I'm Ursula, I took Ariel's soul and Triton's soul. Almost killed Ariel and her sweet man, then he drove a ship through my abdomen."
"I'm Scar, I killed my own brother, and I made my nephew believe it was his fault. Nephew ran away, then came back and I almost killed him the same way. Then he threw me into lava."
"That happened to me too!" Darth Vader walks in.
"GET OUT, YOU FILTHY STAR WARS!" Gothel screams.
"Ahhh!" She grabs a broom and begins to hit Darth Vader repeatedly in the head with it. He eventually runs out in fear, he left his light saber at home and couldn't battle Mother Gothel to the death without it.
"I'm Captain Hook, and I got eaten by a crocodile. I sword fight with Pan, and I have very good swimming skills."
"That's it?" Gothel asks
"That's it."
"Oh, I'm sorry. NEXT!"
"I'm Jafar, I trapped that silly little princess in an hourglass. I controlled the king of Agraba with my magical staff, and I almost killed Aladdin."
"I'm Shadow Man, I turn the stupid prince into a frog, I almost got Tiana to give me the weird amulet thing, and then she smashed it into a million pieces and my own friends killed me."
"That's so depressing. I bet you felt very blue after you got killed." Mother Gothel says.
"Shut up, you white trash."
"Language, Shadow Man." The Shadow Man doesn't reply.
"I'm Hans. I got the stupid main character to fall in love with me. I captured Elsa, and I told her that she killed Anna. Which she almost did. I was in charge of Arendelle for a few good weeks. I almost killed Elsa. Then Anna showed up. Oh, well. You've seen the movie."
"Yes, we all have. I'm Cruella Deville. I attempt to make coats out of puppies. I fail. The end."
"I'm so sorry Cruella, would you like to talk about it?"
"No way, bitch. Ha ha, get it?"
"Not cool."
"I'm the evil stepmother in Cinderella. I almost got one of my daughters to marry the prince. I delayed Cinderella from trying on the shoe. And I tried to stop her from going to the ball."
"It's not that hard to keep one measly girl from going to a ball!" The evil Queen says.
"Oh yeah? And did your huntsman get the girl to die? And how many times did you have to attempt to kill Snow White before she died?"
"Don't you dare go there!"
"I just did!" The two villainesses start to fight.
"Ladies! LADIES! Stop fighting! You are some the two oldest villains, you should be best friends!" Gothel tries to make peace between the two ladies."
"WELL WE AREN'T, SO DEAL WITH IT LADY!" The evil Queen yells.
"FINE! BUT STOP FIGHTING!" Gothel yells back.
A mumbled 'fine' is heard.
"Well, I'm a hunter. From Bambi, Tarzan, and all those other movies. I did too much to count. You guys saw those movies, right?"
"Yeah." Everyone says.
"Then I'm not going to explain it to you."
"Well, that was fun! Would anyone else like to share?" Mother Gothel asks the group.
"Could I share, old lady?" Hades asks.
"NO! NOW GO EAT THE EVIL THEMED SNACKS I BROUGHT!" Mother Gothel yells.
This was going to be a long meeting.