Kiyoki: G'day! Welcome to my new story, the science class! I hope that you enjoy the story, even more so by the fact it was based on a real event that happened to me! BTW, I was Alfred.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters that you may recognise. All of the Hetalia characters belong to Hidekaz Himaruya.
WARNINGS: Umm, I guess that there is a little bit of Denmark bashing? Eep! Please don't kill me over that! I had no idea who to choose and I thought, oh no! Denmark was chosen in a head or tails flip between him and Austria, BTW. ^^
Also, the chances are that I completely destroyed everyone's personalities! For that, I am so sorry!
Summary: Ludwig is in science class, surrounded by his friends. There is a question that neither he or his friends can answer, so he calls the teacher over. Unfortunately, the teacher doesn't seem to get the idea. Said teacher is Denmark. Poor Ludwig, will he get his answer?
-_-START STORY NO JUTSU-_-
Everyone was in class for science, silently working on the work that they were assigned. Well, most of them, except for a particular group in the back. They were discussing among themselves a couple of questions in the sheet for the colour spectrum.
The group had Ludwig Beilschmidt, Alfred F Jones, Kiku Honda, and Lovino Vargas. Usually Lovino would sit with Antonio Fernández Carriedo, but he was sick and Feliciano Vargas (his little brother) was as well. So Alfred, being the naive person that he was, decided to invite Lovino to sit with them in Feliciano's place. Before, Alfred had sat with Arthur Kirkland, Francis Bonnefay and Wang Yao, but recently Ivan Braginski had joined with them, and the two detested each other. So he left them and joined the previously dubbed 'Axis Powers' by the rest of the students. Feliciano had been the only one out of the trio who had found that name funny.
But that's for another story. Anyway, Alfred invited Lovino to sit with them in Science, and Lovino (reluctantly) agreed. However, he wasn't finding it as unpleasant as he had expected it to be, much to his surprise. So, he joined in with the discussion, mostly listening but occasionally interjecting with some points.
The real problem was, however, that none of them really cared for science. The problem was their teacher, Mr. Denmark as he was so affectionately called. His real name was Mathias Køhler, but no one really cared about that. Mr. Denmark was crass, arrogant and believed himself to be the best. He also was an English teacher originally, but the school, Hetalia high, had only a limited stock of Science teachers on hand. So Mr. Denmark was kicked out of his job and put into the role of a science teacher, one of which he had no previous experience teaching in.
But once again, that's for another story.
Ludwig stared at the sheet in front of him with confusion, his brain just refusing to make the connection. He knew that the answer must be dead in front of him, but he just couldn't figure it out. And judging by the expressions by the people around him, they were in the same problem that he was.
Ludwig leaned over to the others.
"Psst, do you guys get this?" whispered Ludwig, and the others glanced at him, Lovino looking annoyed at the interruption. Alfred and Kiku were quizzical.
"I'm sorry, Ludwig-san, but could you please be more specific?" whispered Kiku back, being careful not to alert Mr. Denmark of their conversation.
Ludwig realised he hadn't really explained what he was talking about.
"Of course, sorry Kiku. It isn't a question, it's just the graph on the absorption of colours." he said, pointing to said graph on the paper he had in front of him. The other all did the same on reflex.
"I saw that too, potato-bastard. I think everyone saw it." Lovino interjected into the conversation, obviously trying to hide his curiosity.
Ludwig coughed.
"Yes, well, it is just that the graph looks like it's suggesting that blue is the colour least absorbed by plants." said Ludwig, hoping they would get what he was talking about. Thankfully, Kiku picked it up pretty quickly, the realisation entering his chocolate eyes. Lovino realised almost straight after and Alfred was just looking confused. And hungry, judging by the longing looks he kept sending his bag.
"But if that's true, wouldn't plants be blue instead of green?" pondered the Japanese teenager thoughtfully, a slender finger coming up to tap his chin.
Ludwig nodded triumphantly.
"Ja. And there lies my dilemma." he said. Alfred finally got what they were talking about, and looked down at his question sheet again.
"I see." he said slowly, oblivious to the sarcastic snort that came from the current Italian in the group.
"Why don't you ask the teacher? Wouldn't he know?"
Lovino whirled around in his seat to stare in major annoyance at the -in his opinion- annoying American blockhead.
"Where the hell have you been, you stupid chip-sucker? The stupid ass teacher has got no idea on anything to do with science! Che palle!"
"Hahahahaha!"
Kiku quickly piped up before Lovino found some reason to start a fist fight with Alfred. One that Lovino, although he hated to admit it, would undoubtedly lose. Alfred was just too physically strong. Dammit.
"Ano, Alfred-san is right. We have no idea on what is happen with the graph. Maybe it really is best to just ask Mr. Denmark."
Ludwig wished he didn't have to do that, knowing exactly what Mr. Denmark was like, but the curiosity was killing him. Also, he had no way of knowing if they were going to cover it in that science lesson. So he sighed in acceptance and rubbed his temples for a moment before looking up.
"You're right Kiku. Excuse me, Mr. Denmark?" he called out, his hand firmly up in the air. Mr. Denmark looked up from his seat at the teacher's desk and strolled over casually, a grin on his face.
"Yes?" he drawled out, the quartet in front of him (yes, even Alfred) twitched at the dripping arrogance. Ludwig was determined to not let it get to him, however. He would prevail!
"Sir, according to this graph, blue is the colour least absorbed by plants."
"That's plants. We're not doing plants." Mr. Denmark said in a bored tone, looking around disinterestedly. Ludwig gritted his teeth, trying to stay calm. It was true that they weren't doing plants. They were, however, doing the colour spectrum, and the blonde German thought it fitted in quite well with the current agenda that his science class was doing.
"Yes, but I'm just saying that the colour blue is the least absorbed by plants. Why are plants green then? Because, green is absorbed more then the colour blue. Does it have to do with what our eyes interpret the colours as?" he asked, hoping that Mr. Denmark wouldn't respond with a stupid answer.
Mr. Denmark was starting to look vaguely annoyed.
"That graph is about plants."
Lovino looked like he wanted to murder him, or at least throttle him while screaming, "No fucking shit!"
"I know it is about plants, but still, why aren't plants blue?"
Kiku privately thought that Ludwig was holding on to his self control and patience quite well.
Now Mr. Denmark just looked pissed.
That's to do with plants! We're not doing plants!" yelled Mr. Denmark, a twitch erupting on his brow. A twitch was also showing itself on Ludwig's jaw from clenching his teeth together so hard.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Alfred louder than the two currently engaged in a glaring contest. Somehow they managed not to hear him, but Kiku still panicked all the same.
"Please, calm down Alfred-san! You have tears going down your face!" Kiku fretted as he wringed his hands together nervously.
Lovino snorted again, an amused eye trained on the teacher and the potato-bastard on all times.
"Kiku, it's only because Mr. Denmark is such a retard." he explained patiently, and Alfred grinned, wondering if he had a new best friend.
FYI, he didn't.
The consequential yelling was drawing the attention of the rest of the class, who were watching them in favour of doing boring school work that wasn't being explained properly in the first place.
Mr. Denmark finally broke the glaring contest. "How many times do I have to tell you, we are not doing plants! We are doing the colour spectrum!" he said as he slammed his hands down onto the table.
"I realise!" Ludwig yelled back, his hands clenching in and out of fists.
Mr. Denmark sniffed at Ludwig.
"I need to help other students as well, Ludwig. Try to keep on task." And with that he walked away, Ludwig glaring at his back the whole time.
"That fucker is serious, isn't he?" Lovino said with an amused shake of his head, his odd curl bouncing as he did so.
Alfred nodded vigorously. "Yeah! I hadn't realised what a fool I was. I was so naive." he sighed dramatically as Kiku tried and failed to hide a smile at his friend's over-dramatic ways.
"Calmed down?" he teased lightly, that small smile still resting on his face.
Alfred grinned back. "Yeah."
Ludwig watched the two interact, while Lovino hummed a song that he had made up, called The Delicious Tomato Song.
Kiku turned to Ludwig.
"And you Ludwig-san? Have you calmed down?" the black haired teenager asked, and Ludwig sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I guess. By the way, Kiku, I love your priorities." he grinned awkwardly, and Kiku blushed a deep beetroot red in embarrassment. He got the idea that Ludwig was joking, however, so he didn't reply, and the group smiled.
At that very moment, the small group of four tuned in to Me. Denmark's lecture. They weren't quite sure when he had actually began talking in the first place.
"-now, as for the graph where it talks about what colours plants are, blah blah blah..."
The group was completely still as they stared in complete disbelief at the teacher. Evidently, he didn't see anything wrong with what he had said.
Alfred broke the deadly silence that surrounded the group with his usual optimism.
"Hahahahaha! Well, if it helps any, you won the glaring contest."
Ludwig groaned and held his face in his hands.
-_-END STORY NO JUTSU-_-
Kiyoki: Hello everyone! I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it. If there are any mistakes, please PM me and I will change the mistakes immediately.
So what happened was, we had to finish off a question sheet that our science teacher had given us, but one of my friends, whom I shall not call by his real name, but instead by Harry, he couldn't figure out why plants were green if the colour blue is the least absorbed. So, we got the teacher to come over, but all she said that we weren't doing plants. This annoyed Harry greatly and amused me to no end.
The dialogue is the exact same from the moment Ludwig says:
"Sir, according to this graph, blue is the colour least absorbed by plants." to "-now, as for the graph where it talks about what colours plants are, blah blah blah..."
We just couldn't believe it. Harry had just spent five minutes arguing with her, only for her to firmly state that we weren't doing that, then she just goes off and says it anyway.
With our teacher, there is actually a rumour going around the school that she was meant to be an English teacher (I live in Australia, BTW), but because there weren't enough science teachers, that was what she became.
Before, I had dismissed the rumour as nothing but that. A rumour. After that conversation though, and the way she can never actually explain scientific stuff without a book in front of her, I'm not so sure.
Sorry about that rant though! *laughs* I didn't for it to go on for long!
Please favourite it and review! I know that it probably really pisses you off, but I really can't tell what you think of my story if you just favourite it. ^^
(P.S. It's really far away, but I am going to the Sydney Animmania contest in September as North Italy! :D So excited! Anyone else who is going to that convention, please tell me! I would love to hear of other fans!)