Random Harry Potter StoriesRant Type Thingies

by snowyclara

Yes, the title is a mouthful, but the mouthfulliness is worth it! Reading this is NOT a waste of your precious time! Guaranteed! And if you don't like it, BRING ON THE FLAMES BABY! Oh, and check out the characters; it's HILARIOUS! x3

1. Giant Squid and Mirror of Erised

RANDOM MINI-HARRY POTTER STORIES/RANT TYPE THINGIES!

WOOT! BRING ON THE FLAMES!

(I got ma' marshmallows, crackers, and chocolate sauce)

I was bored and was looking at the options for characters- you know when you're publishing a story- and did you know that the Giant Squid is an option? ISN'T THAT JUST AWESOME? And so is the Mirror of Erised!

Because I wanted to be one of the first people to use them I have composed a random story that has both of them and probably makes no sense what-so-ever to you normal people out there.

PREPARE YOURSELF! (Heh, Snape says that in book/movie #6)

The Giant Squid was in the lake doing what normal Giant Squids do: swimming and tap dancing while nobody's looking.

But this Giant Squid was not normal at all. Yes, he did do all of those things, but he wanted to be a poet and was pretty good too; here is one of his masterpieces:

The cow jumped over the moon and died.

The cat put a hat on the mat.

The spoon killed the spork in a fight over the spife.

The spife then killed the spoon so he could be with the fork.

But the fork just wanted a chicken wing so she ran away to Pluto.

THE END

But the Giant Squid gave up on that dream when he met the Mirror of Erised.

He just wanted to stare at his eye al day long.

But then Hagrid came around with Grawp and kicked the Giant Squid until he swam again.

AND SO THE TRAGIC TALE OF THE GIANT SQUID AND THE MIRROR OF ERISED COMES TO AN END.

So there you go! My strange tale of the Giant Squid, Mirror of Erised, Hagrid, and Grawp!

Evil laughter time!

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH- *cough cough* Ack! Hairball…

OK, so you have just read the first installment of:

RANDOM HARRY POTTER STORIES/RANT TYPE THINGIES!

But seriously, if you think I'm being an immature little prat, BRING ON THE FLAMES!

I've got my marshmallows ready and all my other supplies to make delicious hot shmoes!

Whoever can identify where I got the word shmoes from gets one!

Also: a sprife is the perfect mixture of a spoon, fork, and knife.

Ingenious is it not?

Anyways, PEACE OUT MY FELLOW FANFICTIANS!

(If this gets enough positive feedback, I shall expand to Random Stories/Rant Type Thingies in general; not just Harry Potter)