AN: This is the epic crossover of Warner Bros. and Disney, mostly focusing on Animaniacs and it's a musical! Every other chapter or so will contain a parody of a Disney song. I don't want any one panicking when a song comes up so the song for this section is a parody of "Reflection" from Mulan. The lyrics will be in italics (though not everything in italics is a song... see what I did there?) and the section will look choppy because of descriptions; it's a parody of a Disney, Broadway-style musical number so if you're wondering why the descriptions are getting artsy all of the sudden, that's why. I hope you enjoy this and please feel free to ask questions. Have fun!
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Once upon a time in a far away land, there was a young princess.
A silhouetted fox stands on a cliff overlooking a beautiful forest, her platinum hair flowing in the wind. The convenient wind blew her billowing hair into her face causing her to fall off of the cliff.
She was a brave warrior of the Erca Forest, protecting its inhabitants from all the dangers of mankind.
Deer and bears run away from a hunter. The fox heroically drops down in-between them, shooting an arrow at the man, but it fell ten feet short of a ten foot and a half target.
It was said her voice was nature itself; the wind in the trees, the rushing waters of a river, the song of birds.
The fox began singing a beautiful serenade. The wind blew her sideways, the fox running away to get away from a falling tree. She then tripped and got swept up by a rushing river. When she finally drug herself out of the water, screeching birds started to attack her.
So beautiful that a man wanted to bring it home with him in the city.
A silhouetted man looks around, a dark aura surrounding him as he listens to the beautiful voice, followed by the beautiful screams as she was randomly attacked by birds.
He hunted the princess down and when he tried to steal her voice, the world shook: the bark peeled off the trees, the flowers wilted, and the animals began rioting.
The man grabbed the fox by the throat and the tree bark slapped him across the face, the flowers smell made him faint, and the animals trampled him.
The princess cursed him and all of mankind, banning them from ever entering the forest again.
A green ghoulish light surrounds the fox princess as she points dramatically at the exit of the forest while the man cowered in fear.
The only way the curse could be lifted is if man could show they truly loved nature by earning the love of the woodland princess but who could ever be worthy enough to earn it?
The camera zooms back and the forest is in the shape of a heart with the fox on the cliff once more, her hair tied back. She tied herself to a rock to deplete the chances of falling off the cliff. The cliff then crumbled and she fell screaming with it…
"Cut!" The director shouted from his chair," Frances, I know you're giving me 110% in your energy and in your audition you killed at this roll; what's happening?"
"What's happening?" Frances Foxwood repeated, fuming as she crawled up the mountain," What's happening is your narrator is trying to kill me! What kind of intro tries to kill the princess?"
The director pinched the bridge of his nose before saying," Tell the writers to come up with a less threatening intro and tell Ted to cool it with the Vincent Price impression."
The faraway forest was really just a forest in Burbank, California, roped off by Disney Studios to film their new movie The Song of Spring, the beautiful story of an anthromorphic fox princess protecting the forest. Production had been going smoothly up until that point; the script was in its final draft, the costumes were done, and the soundtrack was underway. The only thing not working well was the princess herself.
After hoisting herself over the ledge back onto solid ground, Frances walked behind the camera men to sit at the vanity while the makeup team fixed her up. The director came over and sat down in the chair next to her.
"Frances, you need to stop acting like Frances Foxwood the actress and more like Princess Frances Foxwood. You have all the equipment, you just need to read the manual," he said, handing Frances her script while the makeup woman powdered her white muzzle.
"Manual? I've memorized the 'manual' and even so what equipment do I have that make me feel like a princess?" Frances said as she looked into the mirror across from her. "I have ratted up hair, a leaf dress, and tribal make up. Has there ever been a princess that worked under these conditions?"
The director sighed to himself before trying to say positively, handing her the feathery crown," Well no, but you're going to be the first because underneath all that makeup lies true beauty."
Frances stared back in the mirror as her white blonde hair was being re-ratted up, her eyes dropping down to her lap where the crown rested. When the makeup lady was done she placed the crown on her mountain of ratty hair before going back on the set, ready to sing her tribal chants ominously. The director sat in his chair, priding himself in his pep talk and proudly said," Okay quiet on set and action!"
Frances took a breath before singing in a tribal fashion," Ahahaha."
The orchestra strummed a harp and for once Frances felt like she was in her element. The drums started a steady beat before the woodwinds joined in. She enjoyed the musical break, closed her eyes, and began to dance. The choreographer was to come tomorrow so today they were just going to see her improvise. Her dancing consisted of bouncing around and doing interpretive dancing gestures, which she thought was 'forest-y'.
I am a woodland princess and my voice can curse people. I am a woodland princess that is beautiful like a flower she chanted in her head. My voice can move mountains. I am a woodland princess and- Her mantra was interrupted when she heard a sort of sputtering sound, followed by a snort. Frances' eyes shot open and she turned around to see the production staff laughing at her uncontrollably.
Frances ripped the crown off her head and threw it on the ground, stomping off into the forest to her trailer. She ignored the cameramen and sound of people calling after her because it was only causing Frances to run faster. The forest blended in a blur of green and brown, pine needles pricking her bare feet. Her face was hot with embarrassment and she tried to swallow the hard lump in her throat.
When the forest ended there was the Disney movie lot: costumes being wheeled around by frantic assistants, actors walking casually in bazaar costumes, and animal trainers leading exotic pets by leashes. Overlooking the massive movie lot was the Disney Princess Castle, home to all the princesses that have ever made a name for themselves in the company as cinematic royalty. This was also the future home of Frances if she succeeded in her role. Frances walked past the organized chaos toward the 'Silver Hall', given to the row of trailers that took up two miles of the lot set up on opposite sides of the street.
She began walking between the hall of trailers, muttering to herself.
"Who do they think they are? I'd like to see them try to bust a move with no warm up beforehand!" Frances said, ignoring the strange looks of passerby's. She took off one of her many tribal necklaces, feeling they were weighing her down and dropped them carelessly to the ground.
"'True Beauty', ha!" she cackled, doing a poor impression of the director," Try feeding that line to the Barbie dolls down at the plastic surgeon's office!" She shed her bracelets, leaving a trail of beads behind her. She glanced at the silver trailer, the shiny metal casting her reflection. She ran a torn gloved hand through her matted hair.
"You'll be the first princess without a pretty ball gown…" her voice trailed off as she glanced down at her strapless leaf dress, artfully sculpted to look like a present from The Giving Tree, "the first ugly princess, inside and out."
Look at me; could I ever pass as a princess?
Frances glanced at the star on one of the trailer doors.
Or an A-list actress?
Frances reached for the locket that was hidden by the dress. Inside was a picture of her manager Mr. Skeems winking with the caption on the other side reading "Your heart is in the right place."
Could it be, my agent casted me wrong?
Frances saw a hopscotch pattern on the sidewalk and she began skipping along it.
Now I see that if actually acted like myself
She twirled on the last hop, her platinum hair springing loose from the ratted up do, extending her hands upward and looking at the sky.
I wouldn't get my own Disney song
She was in the middle of a trailer circle, multiple reflections following her.
Who is that girl I see?
She picked at her dress, scoffing at it.
What is she wearing?
Frances grabbed a handful of hair, the hairspray and bobby pins almost trapping her hand there.
I hope her hair doesn't look like that all the time!
She walked along the edge of the trailers, her hand running against the hot metal.
No amount of L'Oreal can turn me into Jasmine or Belle
Frances leapt into the middle of the trailers on her knees, almost pleading some unknown force by nearly shouting:
When will my résumé show I still have my pride?
Many people stopped what they were doing, plunging the lot into silence when they heard a long, loud note being held. They stared at Frances who clapped a hand over her mouth and hid behind one of the trailers. She sang more softly:
When will my résumé show I still have my pride?
She sighed before taking a short cut through a large garden. The garden was there for when the budgets were tight and they needed to film a garden scene. It has made an appearance in movies such as Cinderella, Snow White, and even The Princess and the Frog. Frances sat down on one of the stone benches and sighed again, the babbling fountain slightly calming her nerves.
She glanced over at the fountain and saw that it was bubbling. Curious, she walked over and just as she peered into the clear pool, someone popped out while gasping for air. Frances let out a scream in surprise, but it was cut short when the stranger's soaked white glove clapped over her mouth. His black eyes were slightly buggy looking because of the goggles and he moved the snorkel out of his mouth.
"Shhh!" he said, putting his free finger against his lips to signal silence.
"What are you?" her voice was muffled into his glove so she gently removed it before whispering," What are you doing?"
"Playing hide and go seek. Right now there's a security guard playing too and-"he stopped when his long black ears perked up, hearing footsteps. "And he's on his way right now so why don't you be a doll and sit right here?"
He patted the edge of the fountain she was standing near. Frances sat down slowly, her mind trying to process whether this was a good idea or not. The boy went back under the water, a clear colored snorkel pipe sticking in the air. A big man dressed in a blue shirt came stumbling into the garden, taking a moment to catch his breath. He noticed Frances sitting on the ledge of the fountain and started walking over to her. She had taken up the act of looking innocent by playing with a flower she saw on the ledge beside her.
"Dah, excuse me, miss, but have you seen a toon with a red nose around here?" he asked, pausing as if thinking of what he was going to say.
Frances replied sweetly in an almost Snow White-style voice," Why no I haven't! I don't think he'd be around here though, this is a movie lot."
"Actually, miss, this isn't that far a stretch from where he usually hangs out," the security guard admitted.
"Oh dear I hope you find him quickly; they're moving the tigers today," Frances said, in a worried voice.
"Tigers?" the guard asked, almost frantically.
Frances pointed out the location of the tigers and he bustled away. The kid in question popped out of the water again, hopping out of the fountain.
"You're a pretty good actress," he said, pulling off the flippers.
"Try telling that to my director," Frances replied, twirling the stem of the flower in-between her fingers.
"If I run into him, I'll let him know, but I think telling you is good enough," he said smacking his ear to get water out on the other side.
"Thanks mister…" Frances said, allowing her voice to trail off.
"The name's Warner; Yakko Warner," he said, in a tuxedo and a British accent.
"Yakko, that's an odd name," Frances said.
"Yeah and that's an odd dress you're wearing, sister… but call me when you decide to go all natural. Rawr," he growled, waggling his eyebrows.
"Oh this is just a costume, I clean up better when I have actual clothes on," Frances said.
"I don't know, I think I'd go green for what you're wearing now," Yakko said earning a punch in the arm from Frances.
"For a woodland nymph, you sure hit hard!"
"I'm not a woodland nymph: I'm a princess!" Frances said defensively.
"Sure and I'm the king of Anvilania," he quipped.
"I guess the ratted hair and the leaf dress would make it seem that way. I threw my crown down on set," she admitted.
"What's the crown? A bird's nest?"
"No, it's a crown of feathers and leaves… it is a bird's nest," Frances said, slapping her hands over her eyes.
"Don't feel bad; the bird demographic of your audience will love you!" Yakko said, patting her on the shoulder.
She let out a bark of a laugh before saying," It's hard to be upset around you."
He put up a gloved finger before saying," Uhhhhh, Ralph and Stratchnsniff would strongly disagree with you."
"Why's that?"
"Listen to the theme song; you'll understand," he replied, reaching behind his back and pulling out a paddle ball. He bounced it in a steady rhythm without looking.
"I think I've had enough singing for one day. Is there any way you'd tell me the song-free version?" Frances asked.
He paddled the ball behind his back for a second before saying," Sure, maybe if we run into each other at the studio party tonight."
"Oh that's right! I forgot about that. Yeah sure I'll see you the-"
"Franny, baby! Where are you?" Skeems, her manager, called out from near her trailer.
"Franny?" Yakko asked, grinning cheekily.
"It's Frances to you! Look, Yakko, I've got to go," Frances said.
"Alright, I'll catch you later, Frances," he said, waving before he dashed out the garden. Skeems himself was a monkey in a dark suit and sunglasses, a cell phone always in his hand. Instead of a cell phone, however, there was all the jewelry Frances had thrown on the ground from before.
"Franny! There you are! The studio's been looking all over for you!" Skeems said, leading her by the arm toward her trailer.
"Why? So they could laugh at me more?" Frances spat, her sour mood quickly returning.
"I asked Ronnie, the director, and he said that Bob told them a funny joker earlier and they were thinking about it," Skeems explained, opening the trailer door for Frances as she stepped in.
"And they all thought about it at the same time? You really think I'm going to believe that?" Frances asked sitting down on her couch with a huff.
Skeems shut the door behind him with his tail before saying sternly," You better start believing that with that stunt you pulled today: just because you're casted as royalty now doesn't mean you're going to stay royalty. Everyone's replaceable, even you."
Frances sighed as Skeems sat down next to her. He took her crown out of his pocket and put it on her head. She looked up at him who was smiling back at her.
"Franny, I'll let you in on a little secret," Skeems said, throwing an arm around her shoulder," you know how in Sleeping Beauty Aurora fell asleep and it took a dragon and a mini adventure before Phillip could wake her up? That's because a spell wasn't the only thing Aurora was sleeping off."
"No way!" Frances said as Skeems made a bottle gesture with his hands.
"Yeah way! And you wanna know why Disney didn't fire her on the spot and why she's the top of the princess food chain? It's because she has the look," Skeems explained.
"The look?"
"Yeah, I mean anyone can act like a princess and what not, but not everyone can look the part. So when you were casted it wasn't just your acting chops," Skeems said. Frances face fell for a second.
"Don't take it that way; it was also the way you carried yourself too. You had the look, the voice, and the talent to pull it off. This is good, kid, because that means it'll take more than throwing a fit to get you fired, but don't push your luck," Skeems said.
"I won't, but what if I do get sacked?"
"We'll cross that bridge if we ever get there. Even if you do, remember: we're in this together," Skeems said, earning a hug from Frances before the exited the trailer, back to the movie set.