Above him there was now nothing but the sky- the lofty sky
Ch 1
He was once the Half Blood Prince.
That was the thought going through the mind of Severus Snape back when the water embraced him when he was back in that lake that Potter threw him, what seemed so long ago came back to his mind as Potter was levitating him upside down much to the amusement of his cronies the Marauders and the various other students around and loved Potter's brand of humor.
He would have shouted, screamed, cursed them, but was that what Andrei would have done? Was that what Pierre would have done?
Who where Pierre and Andre?
For that one must go back to his first year, after he had been separated from Lilly, the only person he cared about after they where sorted in different houses, that was back when the hatred between himself and the marauders started with the first prank.
He had been so ashamed, so humiliated and in the great hall to of all places for it to happen, that he had run towards the library, he would have run to his dorm room, but something, perhaps fate or the power the books drew him there.
He didn't even bother to look at the rows and shelves until he finally stopped from ache and exhaustion to cry his shame away.
He felt so small, so insignificant, and so worthless and after thinking that this school would be haven for people like him, it made the pain all the more so than he brought it out by hitting the bookshelf behind him with his fist.
Pain exploded on his head as the book that came loose was heavy, very, very heavy.
The books, since there were two of them bundled into one and somehow managed to stay that way where thick, very, very thick, but the titles of those books seemed to have an otherworldly effect on Severus.
Pride and Prejudice was the first title printed on the cover, and for a boy that had gone through so much that day it seemed like this book from the muggle section of the library was like water to a thirsty man in the desert.
The book was hard, both to hold and to read, the muggle author Tolstoy could have passed for a wizard for each sentence, every word and letter from moments that all fans of the book would remember to simple verbs and adjectives describing the running leaves and the cold Russian wind seemed to carry the heavy spirit and struck him deep, yet unlike other things in his life, it remained, never going away.
The first was indeed heavy rain to purge the poison from his day, but the second one: War and Peace, that was the thunderstorm that swept his life!
There he found sanctuary and salvation, with Pierre , the bastard son one day, come powerful lord the next, trough Andre, the mighty soldier that sought glory, yet did not know how or sometimes even why?
He finished it in less than a week and from then on would continue to read it over and over whenever he had a bad day.
He was half muggle, ugly, not social, poor and the worse sin of all when combined with the before mentioned an excellent student, so it was no surprise that he would read War and Peace almost daily, sometimes hourly.
The cold feeling of the lakes water engulfed the floating Severus as he saw Lilly come to his rescue.
The very same feeling that swept over him that day in the lake, yet had begun a year before that.
He had been hanging out with Malfoy and other Slitheryns that where singing the praises of the dark lord, to the outsider he seemed to be on their side, but his thought returned to Andre and Pierre, he would be lying to himself if he didn't think that this was his place, that the Dark Lord would make him powerful, make him respected, make him somebody.
But that was what you wanted as well, or at least it was what both of you though, am I right Pierre? Or am I wrong Andre?
The thought echoed as his mind went back to only a few days before his current predicament but a few months after he was surrounded by water.
Voldemorde was staring a revolution, or a war and he was a great leader, good or bad, he was great, that much was agreed by both sides.
But then so was Napoleon.
And so with thought haunting his head he sat down at that library where it all started so many years ago and after finding a specific book he read and then he wept.
Napoleon's glory was build on millions of dead souls, countless more living ones that where bereft of their loved ones because of his actions.
But what haunted him the most was the picture inside the book of the famous painting that showed his retreat from Moscow, particularly the eyes of the soldier that was covered in a blanket and stared at the heavens, a question in his eye?
He knew what that question was, but he denied to admit it.
Until his day surrounded by fire, until he was lifted in the air by Potter.
There and then Andrei and Pierre came to him or rather he understood how Andrei felt when he was lying at Austerlitz.
He opened his eyes, hoping to see how the struggle of the Frenchmen with the gunners ended, whether the red-haired gunner had been killed or not and whether the cannon had been captured or saved. But he saw nothing. Above him there was now nothing but the sky- the lofty sky, not clear yet still immeasurably lofty, with gray clouds gliding slowly across it.
As he felt the belt from his pants unwinding and his trouser being pushed back up he could hear the laughter from those around, for a moment even Lilly gave a chuckle, before worry and pain returned and she continued to help him.
You are right to laugh Lilly, I've been a fool, a fool for so long.
The soldier's question had an answer!
He had been a fool, a fool because he was stupid, he lacked wisdom, he let his emotions blind him.
How many times could confrontation with Potter be avoided if he had kept his anger in check.
How many times had he shamed his house by rising to the bait or bullies and oafs.
How many times had he read of the struggles of Pierre and Andrei and was blind to what was written in ink and paper.
Too many!
The water around him started to dim as he was saved from drowning, his body grabbed from the lake, his life was his own once more as he was brought away from the water that washed the poison in his soul.
This is what you felt Andrei! And you Pierre! I finally understand!
What did glory and power truly amount to when the price was too high? What worth was being respected and feared when none of it brought him joy? What did it all matter to the dead and the dying and why? Why would he had ever wanted to write his name across history for it to be sung from the depth to the heavens? When above him there was now nothing but the sky- the lofty sky, not clear yet still immeasurably lofty, with gray clouds gliding slowly across it?
The poison absence that had polluted his soul was now finally felt by the owner the storm once more struck, only this time it swept the echoes of darkens and truly made way for the light in his soul.
He felt the power that many wizards said came to you when you truly matured, when you purged your soul of lies and ignorance, when you truly had life's wisdoms in your heart, when you knew what mattered and what didn't.
His only regret was that he had been so blind, when the answer was in front of him, screaming her lungs out and drawing her wand at her tormentor.
Even when I'm a fool, you still are my friend Lilly. But I'm one no longer!
He was Pierre purged of all foolish pride and senseless glory.
He was Andrei forged anew, free of the ignorance and empty promises of false idols and foolish promises.
He was the freezing soldier that realized his mistake before he made it and would never feel the cold brought about by his own ignorance and hate.
He was free!
"Mr Potter!"
Severus's voice echoed with such power and intensity that the laughter stopped and all eyes gathered around him, from shock of what they just heard.
James Potter lost control at that and Severus plummeted to the ground.
But he did not hit it, no! He simply stopped a few feet above the ground and levitated.
Stares of shock and awe came from the Marauders, from those around, from Lilly, for not only was this wandless magic, it was advanced wandless magic, this was the stuff of legends!
But this was not a legendary action.
This was just acting mature, acting like scholar, acting like someone who had a brain, acting like a true man!
He levitated simply because he thought that landing on his face would be undignified.
He used his mind to tie back his trouser because it would be childish to remain with them, he did not say a word, since he was angry and saying anything hateful or in anger was unbecoming of a true man.
He moved himself from horizontal to vertical with his back still turned to James and Lilly since he still had to compose himself and assume a proper pose of dignity and elegance, for he was no longer a fool, and he turned around arms half intertwined like McGonagall, head held up high like Dumbledore and eyes of calm and knowledge like even Slughorne for he had spurned the good lessons shown at this school for two long.
He walked steadily and calmly for he was confident in who he was, in who he now was.
And finally he spoke, what he knew had been the proper response to all this was, for he was no longer blind to it.
He stopped a step away from Lilly and the Marauder who were looking at him fearfully, James despite still having his wand drawn on Severus, his hand slightly trembled, his breath stalled in his throat and is Salazar himself now stood before him.
"I apologize."
The words came from Snape's mouth, which only confused James Potter and those around him further, Lilly's eyes bugged out in shock.
"It was uncalled for me to draw my wand at you, you had every right to defend yourself, I was at fault for being childish and giving in to anger and hate and for that I apologize."
"W-what?"
"What's going on Padfood?"
"I don't know Pronds!"
"Mr Lupin, would you be so kind as to hand me back my want and backpack, I require them for the final practical exam tomorrow and I would appreciate if you would hand me them."
Remus still in shock at what he was hearing and seeing he could do nothing but comply and still in this stupor he handed the items to him Severus shocked them once more.
"I thank you for your kindness."
This caused the four Marauders to recoil back in shock and for Sirius to draw his wand alongside James and point it at Severus.
"What are you playing at Snivelus!"
"Nothing Mr Potter, merely expressing my gratitude to Mr Lupin, if I somehow insulted you all I apologise."
"STOP IT! OR I'LL-I'LL!" James shouted scared out of his wits at what he seeing before his eyes
"Sev!? Are you allright?"
"Lilly." Severus said as his eyes became warm and his hands dropped from his fearsome pose.
"Lilly I'm sorry, I'm sorry for all the stupid things I did and said, I'm sorry for being such a fool, you where right Lilly, I wasn't worth it, but I was too much of an idiot to see it, but I'm not anymore, I-I can change Lilly and I'd like to change to, I'd like if-." Severus said as he took a deep breath for courage, said a prayer to Andrei and Pierre and asked his question.
"Would you accompany me to Hogsmead this Saturday? I'd like to make amends for my behavior and to thank you for being, well for being the only true friend I have."
He said and with fear and dread in his soul waited for her answer.
"I-I"
She looked into his eyes, they where pleading.
"O-okay."
"Wonderful! Thank you Lilly!" he said and then in a moment of boldness he took one of her hands in his hands, brought it to his lips and kissed it.
"Till Saturday then." He said with a smile and gave a gentlemanly bow of the head and fleur of the arm and quite dashingly turned around to walk away from the stunned audience and to a now blushing Lilly.
She wasn't the only one.
"Woah!"
"Did you see that."
"That was, that was so!"
"I know!"
The girls from the previous audience said, they too affected by Snape's new behavior, but that did not matter to Severus as he made his way back to the castle, hair blowing in the gentle breeze as he looked towards the sky as he heard frantic footsteps come from behind.
"Sev!SEV!"
"Yes Lilly?"
"Are you really allright?"
"Yes! For the first time in my life I feel fantastic!" She said to her with a smile a, genuine smile as he averted his gaze back to the heavens.
"What are you looking at? Is there something in the sky?"
"No, there's nothing there in the lofty sky, not clear yet still immeasurably lofty, with gray clouds gliding slowly across it."
The Half Blood Prince was back and here to stay!