SOMEWHERE IN NEW MEXICO

SHIELD Agent Phil Coulson had seen a lot in his time, both in Army Special Forces and as a part of SHIELD. Today, he wasn't sure whether to be surprised or not.

He leveled his P90 assault rifle and fired a rapid burst. His target was undeterred. Even though he struck with every round, it kept coming.

"Dammit," Coulson muttered. He grabbed his radio and fired again.

"This is Agent Phil Coulson!" he bellowed. "This is a code black, potential extinction level threat. Neutralize my location immediately. My team is already dead, and it's no use trying to save me. I repeat, code black, neutralize my location IMMEDIATELY."

Marvel Forever Presents

Earth's Most Uncanny Heroes!

THE UNCANNY AVENGERS

"Minus"

By Tony Thornley

28 HOURS LATER

Tony Stark watched Steve Rogers' face as the scratchy transmission played. Steve's emotions were written across his face, at least for Tony. He tried to remain impassive but Phil was a friend. Even as the head of SHIELD, he couldn't bring himself to simply kill a friend for the greater good. If they had been in the same room and not half a world away, he would probably see his fists clenched under the table.

"So you received this when?" Tony asked. Steve glanced to his left, off screen.

"Yesterday, 0800," he said. "We were just able to clean it up enough to get his message. "

"You should have brought me in sooner," Tony said with a frown. "We could have had it cleaned up sooner."

"Red tape with clearance," Steve shrugged. "You know I would have otherwise."

"How can I help?"

"I need an Avengers team on this," he said. "I'm not going to drop a barrage of bunker busters or a tactical nuke on this site without more information."

"Specifically whether Coulson is dead?"

"Specifically what we're dealing with." Steve scowled at Tony. He knew that his longtime friend was right about his motives, but wouldn't admit it.

"I'll be glad to Steve, but just for curiosity's sake, why me? Why not Carol's team? They are what the world considers the Avengers right now. Or lead one in yourself?"

"Panther is wrapped up in Madripoor, and I'm managing a situation in Bagalia. And I don't trust anyone else to handle something this sensitive."

"Just keep stroking my ego," Tony laughed. "Then I'll definitely get it done." He quickly resumed his serious attitude. "Get me the coordinates. I can have a team within an hour."

"Thanks Tony, Rogers out."

The transmission ended and Tony sat back in his chair. He sat in the monitor room of Avengers Tower, which was dark but for the screens surrounding him. He sighed. Time to get to work.

"JARVIS," he said, stroking his goatee.

"Yes Tony?" said his AI's disembodied voice.

"Pull up a roster of active Avengers in a fifteen mile radius."

=A=

Anna Raven studied the history book in front of her intently. Her class was busy taking a test, but they were starting the World War 2 unit the next day and she wanted to be prepared. There was a rap on her classroom door, and it opened to reveal Logan. She still had to resist a giggle every time she saw Logan in a button down shirt and bow tie.

"Rogue, you got a minute?" he asked. She nodded and stood.

"If any of you dare cheat, Headmaster Logan WILL hear it," she said as she walked out the door. Logan grinned momentarily, but then grew serious as she stepped through the threshold of the classroom. Rogue frowned.

"I looked at your lesson plan," he said. "World War Two tomorrow, right?" She nodded.

"I'm not going to be teaching it, am I?" she asked.

"I've asked Angelica to take over for the next few days," Logan nodded. "I need your help." She nodded, folded her arms and leaned back against her door.

"I can have my team ready in a couple hours," she said.

"No, not your team," Logan said. "Just you." He sighed. "I lost contact with an… operative investigating some information I got a couple weeks ago."

"Since when do you have operatives?" she asked with a smirk.

"Since I found out that it's frowned upon for a school principal to be stabbing people that need stabbing," he grunted.

"Is it Deadpool?" she asked. Logan's frown turned into a scowl, and he rolled his eyes. She grinned. "It's Deadpool. You're worried about Wade Wilson."

"Doesn't matter," he said. "We're bringing Paige- I need someone good with computers- and Roberto is meeting us there."

"So where we headed?"

"New Mexico," Logan grunted.

=A=

As the Quinjet soared over the Texas panhandle, Tony Stark scratched his goatee and rubbed his eyes. Before Captain America had called, he was awake for twenty four hours already, working on a solution to a particularly vexing project. Tony grinned. Vexing. Why didn't he use that word more often?

"Vexing," he muttered softly.

"What's that Tony?"

Stark glanced up and grinned at Janet Van Dyne. The Wasp sat in the co-pilot's seat next to him. Besides himself and Cap, she was probably the best Quinjet pilot to serve with the Avengers, which was ironic considering the number of pilots in the Avengers membership.

"Sorry, lost in thought," he said. "I've been working on thermal venting for a new generator I've been working on. A hydrogen current reactor. I've been having problems with venting the excess heat it's been generating."

"You called Hank about it yet?" she asked with a grin.

Tony chuckled. "I should. For a biochemist slash robotics expert, he's a pretty decent engineer." He sighed, and twisted his neck to pop his vertebrae.

"You haven't slept while you've been figuring it out, have you?" she asked.

"Don't need to," he said. "The Extremis and all. Sleep only let's my body get ahead instead of what it does for you."

Jan exaggerated rolling her eyes. "Extremis, Pym Particles, Super-Soldier Serum… I've heard it all Tony. You're getting sleep as soon as we're done here."

"Yes ma'am," he muttered. He glanced behind him. Monica Rambeau sat in one of the side-facing jumpseats, her eyes closed. He knew that was for show. Her life as living energy had eliminated the need for food, water, sleep… He was frankly a bit jealous.

The Vision sat directly behind Jan. He was staring out the panorama window, watching the countryside below. For all he knew, he was thinking of nothing, or solving world hunger. The synthezoid was a longtime friend, but Tony also felt like he barely knew him. The thing that amazed him most was that the Extremis enhancile that ran through his body COULDN'T communicate with Vision. Even Jocasta and Aaron Stack gave off a low level communications field that Tony imagined felt to him like telepathy. Vision was a void to him.

He didn't know whether to be amazed or scared.

"Tony?" Jan asked, breaking his thoughts. He turned back to her.

"Hm?"

"We're getting close, and your phone is going off." Tony frowned and glanced down at his phone. It was Pepper.

STARK/FUJIKAWA SHARES BOUGHT. ALCHEMAX IS BUYER. NOW HAVE MAJORITY STAKE IN S/F. THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW.

"Damn," he whispered. Although he owned the vast majority of the patents on the tech he'd designed in the last ten years, Stark/Fujikawa still owned some valuable IP. Alchemax initiating another hostile takeover, this time on one of his former companies… it didn't sit right.

"Everything okay?" Jan asked.

"Yeah," he said. "It's all good." He turned to her and grinned. "Time to suit up. You got our approach?"

"Oh yeah, no problem," she laughed. Tony stood from his seat and walked to the back of the jet. Monica and Vision both looked up at him as he passed. She grinned at him.

"Thanks," she said. Tony cocked his head to the side as a mobile robot began to configure his armor on the silver biosuit he wore.

"For what?" he asked.

"You and I really haven't worked together much, so I'm not really a known quantity to you," she said. "But I've been itching to really get back into action. Your call came at the perfect time."

Tony held his arms out as the bot built the armor down their length. "Steve and Thor both vouched for you," he said with a shrug. "That's good enough fo-" The Quinjet suddenly rocked violently. Tony grabbed his helmet from the assembler, grateful the armor was otherwise complete.

"Jan, what's happening?"

The Wasp fought with the Quinjet's controls. "What do you think?" she said. "Something's hit us."

"Like what something?" Tony growled.

"Like I don't know!" she exclaimed. "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to keep a billion dollar jet from crashing." The Vision stood.

"I will do my best to help," he said. He started to phase through the floor, but he was only in to his calves when the jet suddenly righted. Vision returned to his former stance.

The comm panel beeped and Jan hit the button.

"I don't know who this is, but thank you," she said. "Unless you're planning to kill us."

"Hell no," a southern accented voice replied. "I just saw y'all needed some help, and I'm more than happy to oblige."

"Is that Rogue's lovely voice I hear?" Tony said. "Darling, I owe you a drink of your choice."

"As long as you join me Mister Stark," she replied. "You can have a ginger ale, of course."

"Deal."

"If y'all will turn off your engines, I'll help you to the ground," she said. Jan responded quickly, killing the power. Vision began to phase through the floor.

"I shall assist Rogue," he said, just before he vanished.

For a few tense minutes, the Quinjet slowly lowered to the ground, until it came to a rest safely on solid earth. Jen sighed with relief.

"Thank heavens," she whispered. The three Avengers stood and Jan slapped the bay doors release. Rogue and Vision stood together at the end of the ramp. Her body morphed from organic steel to her normal soft flesh as they walked towards her.

"I assume you're not alone here Rogue?" Tony said as they walked up to the X-Woman.

"Not by a long shot bub," a very familiar voice growled from outside the jet. Wolverine stalked past the bay door, and shot Iron Man a salute. His cowl was torn away, and chunks of his costume were missing- burnt off his body judging from the singe marks around the costume.

"Howdy Tony," he said. "I gotta change into fresh clothes. Meanwhile, welcome to Weapon Minus, the world's best think tank for how to kill super soldiers. Bastards."

=A=

A day earlier

Closing his eyes, Phil braced as he expect the end to come. It never did.

Instead, there was the rattle of a submachine gun and the clang of metal on metal. Phil opened his eyes to see a red and black clad figure standing above the now inert cyborg attackers.

"Son of a bitch," he whispered.

"Howdy," Deadpool said. "Come with me if you want to be awesome."

=A=

NEXT: The Avengers and X-Men vs. Weapon Minus!

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