Chapter 1: My life
I am a thirty-five year old man. No life, no ambition. If I was to throw myself into the next on coming vehicle no one would care. I am divorced. I had a beautiful wife, two kids that I never see. I met my wife when I was twenty-two. I had no plans of getting married, or let alone have kids. We met at a fucking gas station. Long story short, I asked her out, and then we got married, had a kid, then we split up, break-up sex, and then had another kid. Once we were divorced the court granted her the kids.
My life has no meaning. I drift from day to day, unnoticed, untouched, and unloved. I see my kids once every couple weeks. Every once in a while my life seems like it has meaning, and then followed by a feeling like death. I don't normally care, because I know sooner or later I know I am going to be forgotten after my death, if it isn't already too late.
I look back on my life as if it was a movie. I see things more clearly and realize that I could have done things better, and if I did would things be better or would they stay the same or even worse.
I was born on October 22, 1972. I began school a year early. So, I graduated when I was seventeen. When I was 19, I helped rob a house. Which we got caught, and it ended with me serving a year sentence with good behavior at a minimum security prison. I got out a month before my birthday. I was happy about that. I met my wife just a couple months after that. I was currently living with my mom. No one wants to hire a criminal, so I had no money.
When I met her I had instantly fell in love with her. She didn't care if I was a criminal. The only thing she cared about was if I cared about her. It seems she didn't have that good of a life growing up. Dad beat her and mom didn't care. We got married after about seven months of dating. I loved her and she loved me. I would have married her sooner, but I didn't have the money. I got a job working as a construction worker. No the greatest job in the world, but she didn't care.
I was twenty-three when we had our first child. It was a girl. We weren't in love as we were before we had her. When people tell you that having a kid brings you closer to your wife, they are full of shit. Our daughter was four when I moved out. When I came back, she got pregnant again. Which led to another daughter, and me moving back out, but this time there was paper work involved. I was already divorced and a convict before I was thirty.
Five years had passed before I found out what I was meant for. I had always liked movies, and found it interesting on how they were made. So, I decided it was time for me to follow a dream. Become a porn director.
The porn industry doesn't care if you are a convict or divorced. I can do this and become famous, and respected in a way. Not in the usual sense of course.