Preface

Shelagh Mannion had always been incredibly ambitious – finishing her nursing and midwifery training in record time and becoming one of the greatest district nurses and midwives to ever come to Nonnatus house. Within her first year at Nonnatus, her dedication, ambition, and incomparable knowledge of her profession had caught the eye of a very attractive docks manager. He oozed with charm and persuasion techniques that he generously poured over the young and sweet Nurse Mannion. By the summer of 1949, twenty-three-year-old Shelagh Mannion was married and became Mrs. John Greene. While at first Shelagh believed to have found her 'happily ever after', things changed quickly. Thankfully, she still had her career.

Chapter 1

Throughout the years at Nonnatus, Shelagh had become very close with the sisters. She frequently joined them for compline and morning prayer. John never understood why she would waste her time with such things as he was a man of no faith and often chastised Shelagh for her beliefs. However, that was the least of her issues with her husband. When they first met, he had been a real charmer – doing and saying all the right things to sweep Shelagh off her feet – but over time, his true colours began to show and Shelagh realised just what kind of man John Greene was. He was a very possessive and jealous man who would take his many frustrations out on his tiny wife when he'd come home late from the pub. More times than not, John would come home in a drunken state and wake Shelagh just so he could verbally – and many times physically – assault her to ease his mind of the frustrations he encountered that day or felt that she was somehow responsible for. Having no family to turn to, Shelagh felt she was trapped and this was her life sentence, therefore, she poured all of her energies into her work and her faith. She knew that something would give, eventually.

It was a beautifully sunny spring morning in Poplar, and as many mornings in the past, Shelagh had arrived at Nonnatus before sunrise to join the nuns for compline. Over the past several years, Shelagh often thought to herself that maybe she should have considered a religious life rather than the one she was currently living, but she stayed strong in her faith and believed that God would lead her exactly where she needed to be in life. She had often confided in Sister Julienne about her marital struggles, but Sister Julienne knew that Shelagh took her vows far too seriously to ever walk away from her marriage, no matter the abuse she was taking from it. So, she knew it best to just be as supportive as she could be to her colleague and pray for her each day. On this particular morning, Sister Julienne was quite surprised to see that Shelagh had arrived late to compline, not that she was required to be there at all, but it was very uncharacteristic of her to be anything but early. She knew something was off and planned to discreetly discuss it with Shelagh afterwards. Once compline was complete, she went straight to Shelagh and immediately noticed the most likely reason for this morning's tardy; Shelagh's left cheekbone had a very fresh bruise on it and her eyes were evident with the remnants of recent tears. Without saying a word, Sister Julienne simply ushered Shelagh into her office to avoid any attention of the others.

Once they were behind the closed door, the conversation began.

"My dear Shelagh, please tell me this was some kind of accident," Sister Julienne knew better, but a small piece of her begged God to let there be some other – rational – explanation to this wound.

"I wish I could, Sister, but it is exactly what you think. He usually doesn't go for my face, but this morning, even after sleeping a few hours, he awoke still drunk. He was rambling on about how the barmaid wouldn't serve him anymore and sent him home because he'd had too much already. As usual, the fault lies with me," Shelagh shook her head at the absurdity of it all. She was ashamed of herself for taking so much, but she had now done it for so long she wasn't sure how to make it right or if she had the gall to walk away.

At this point, all Sister Julienne could do was give Shelagh a hug and reassure her that things will improve and to keep her faith. After putting a cool rag on Shelagh's cheek, Sister Julienne then went for their reinforcement - as they called Trixie. While it was rare that John would take his rage out on Shelagh's face, this wasn't the first time, and the few Nonnatuns that knew of her home life knew what to do to help cover it up and keep her strong face on for the day ahead.

"Oh sweetie, this won't do at all. Let's get you fixed up," Trixie said as she walked in, makeup bag and tools in hand. Shelagh typically didn't wear makeup, so Trixie was careful not to make it too obvious that she was wearing any, but instead made it look as though Shelagh had just added a wee more effort into her routine that morning.

While Sister Julienne was there to be supportive of Shelagh and kept her thoughts of the situation mostly to herself, Trixie was much less reserved in her thoughts on the piece of dirt that Shelagh called her husband.

"I know he is your husband and you vowed to be by his side, but sweetie, no one would hold it against you to just walk away. You deserve so much better than this; I just wish you'd see it. I bet your 'Mr. Right' is out there right now wondering around all alone because his soulmate is locked into some loveless marriage with a crazy woman-beater," Trixie ranted as she carefully and expertly applied the pan stick to Shelagh's quickly bruising face. Shelagh knew that Trixie was right and just sat silently as she listened to Trixie's rant.

"Shelagh, you know I love you, sweetie. Please know I only say all of this out of concern for your happiness and well-being," Trixie said as sweetly as she could.

"I know, Trixie, and you're right about it all. I just don't know where to go from here. I've been doing this for so long now that I don't know how to move away from it," Shelagh confessed aloud for the first time. Both Trixie and Sister Julienne stood in a silent shock as neither of them could believe that they had just heard this confession from Shelagh. She usually just defended her decision to stay with her marriage vows and the conversation was closed for further comment, but this was new. They both wondered if maybe this was the last straw and Shelagh might actually be ready to walk away from it all now. Neither of them said another word, completed the task at hand, and moved on with their day.

It turned out to be a particularly busy day between all of the district and midwifery patients and the weekly clinic. As usual, Shelagh volunteered to stay behind to clean and tidy everything after clinic. To the unknowing, she was just a very generous person, to those who knew her dark secrets knew that it was one of her many ploys to keep from going home for the evening. Shelagh hadn't realised that Doctor Turner had stayed behind that afternoon as well; for some reason, he had decided to review some of the patient notes and clinic information at the Parish Hall rather than in his office back at the surgery. He had caught her off-guard when he walked into the kitchen where she was washing and organising medical equipment.

"Oh, good evening, Nurse Greene. I didn't realise anyone else was still here. How are you?" He asked. He was always so polite to her, completely the opposite of her nightmare of a husband. She had thought many times over the years of seeing him with patients that the world could certainly use a few more kind and gentle Dr. Turners and a few less John Greenes. She also remembered thinking that she couldn't fathom why God would allow such genuinely selfless man to suffer so badly when Dr. Turner's wife had passed suddenly. Now it was just him and his sweet little boy. Shelagh always wanted to have children, but she was so grateful that she had not had any with John. It would have made life so much harder and it would have been entirely unfair to the child. She couldn't imagine her husband being anything more than a truly dreadful and abusive father, and she never wanted that for her theoretical children. She felt that her lack of children was God's way of having mercy on her despite her poor choices in the area of a husband and marriage.

Dr. Turner's voice brought her back from her thoughts, "Nurse, are you okay?" he asked, seeming a bit concerned at her lack of response.

"Oh, yes, Doctor. Just a bit lost in thought, I suppose. How are you? Long day?" she responded sweetly as usual.

"Very. I still have quite a few notes to go over though. Do you mind if I sit here to go over them?"

"Of course. I'll be out of the way very soon." Shelagh went back to her cleaning and mindlessly used the back of her wrist to wipe her face while she cleaned. Her exhaustion had made her forget about the makeup that she would be wiping away with this action and she immediately remembered when she felt the sting run through her cheek as she made even the gentlest of contact. Much to her dismay, Doctor Turner had seen the whole thing and immediately noticed the wince and the tiniest bit of bruise that was now showing from under the smeared pan stick that Trixie had applied many hours earlier.

Doctor Turner arose with a bit of alarm, "Nurse Greene, what's happened to your face? Would you please allow me to take a look?"

Shelagh quickly turned away, immensely ashamed, "It is nothing, Doctor. Thank you for your concern."

Doctor Turner couldn't take that as an acceptable answer. He knew she would have a much more subdued response to the whole situation if it were actually nothing. He'd seen the marks of abuse far too many times for him to have any question as to how it got there. Shelagh was the kindest woman he'd ever had the pleasure of working with and was the last person that would deserve someone to harm her in this way. He'd always admired her dedication and persistence in her work, and wished he could be even half as caring as she always was. The sight of this bruise – that she had obviously tried to hide – made him angry to his core. He walked around and gently grabbed her chin to lift her face to him to examine the mark. Shelagh kept her eyes closed as a sign of – what he could only assume was – shame or embarrassment as many battered women did. He used the utmost caution when removing her glasses and then clearing the area of the makeup to get a better look at the affected area. This kind of situation was always difficult for him as he never understood a man who had any urge to put his hand to a woman, but for some reason, this cut him straight to the core. Shelagh – or Nurse Greene as he knew her – was not only a very valued colleague, but someone he had grown to care for. She was always there when he needed a hand, even when it wasn't work related. Countless times she had been there when his son, Timothy had needed a quick bandaging from playing too rough outside, or when Doctor Turner had spilled his tea all over his coat. She was the last person that deserved this.

He continued to most gently care for her wounded face then, once he finally got her to open her eyes which were now showing sign of threatening tears, he asked her to sit down. "Nurse Greene, I can make a pretty good assumption as to what happened, but I'd really like for you to tell me how you ended up with this mark on your face," he tried to be as compassionate as he could be while still being firm enough to get her to respond truthfully.

Shelagh took a deep breath and told Doctor Turner the full story, not just of that morning, but of the whole marriage. Even though she had confided in Sister Julienne and Trixie for many years, this was different and somehow felt like a large weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She also explained that she was unsure of what direction to take from here, but she knew that it couldn't go on like this and she needed to make a change somehow. Through her entire confession, he gave her his utmost attention and the occasional comforting hand on her shoulder when the story got a bit harder to tell. This made her know with even greater certainty that she needed to get away from John as soon as she possibly could because she wanted nothing more than to be with a man that could care for her, her thoughts, and her situations like the man right in front of her did.

"Nurse Greene –"

"Shelagh, please," Shelagh interrupted him. She felt after such a deep confession, he at least deserved to call her by her first name.

"Certainly. Shelagh, I want you to know that I am here for whatever you may need. Please don't hesitate to ask. I do hope you find your path to a happier situation; you deserve it more than anyone I know," and with those last few words, Doctor Turner carefully took her hand and caressed it ever so slightly, "and please, call me Patrick."