Here it is, the insane Humor/Parody story I promised! This story is meant for those who appreciate the beauty and humorous quality of nonsense. Lewis Carroll fans will cheer!

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Vakama paced, thinking. He suddenly tripped over his own feet. As he got back up, his hands tripped over each other, sending him to the floor again. He began trying to wriggle in the same pacing motion, and ended up tying himself into a knot, and lay there, struggling-

Vakama: Hold up! How the heck is this happening?

Author: It is.

Vakama: How?

Author: Don't ask stupid questions. It's harmful to your health.

Vakama: What do you mean?

Now, the author, annoyed, began typing. The air around Vakama immediately turned ice cold, and it took all hi power to try and keep the mangled ball that was now him warm.

Vakama: Okay, okay, I get it! Chill out!

Author: I think you're the one chilling here.

Vakama: Ha ha ha, very funny. Just thaw me!

Author: Okay. I don't want to kill you. The bureaucracy you have to wade through after killing someone is insane, so I'll let you live.

The author began deleting a paragraph, and Vakama returned to normal temperature, and began to try and untie himself. He was ticked off, but knew to keep his mouth shut. Suddenly, in a flurry of paper and broccoli, a Toa colored a rich gold with swirls of silver appeared.

"Hey, what's going on? Who are you?" shouted Vakama.

The new Toa, out of sympathy, waved his hand gently, and Vakama popped back into his normal shape.

"I am the all-knowing, all-seeing, all-powerful Author," replied the mysterious Toa. "I take Toa form because I choose to."

"Oh, hi Greg," said Vakama.

"I'm not Greg Farshtey. I am a being at once more wonderful and more sinister than Greg Farshtey. Can Greg Farshtey do this?" the Author said, waving his hand slightly. A figure with a long white beard and wizard robes appeared out of nowhere.

"Hello, I am Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, and you have no right whatsoever to use me in this BIONICLE fanfic," the figure said.

"Quite right," said the Author, and, with a wave of his hand, he lifted Dumbledore from the ground with the Force and force-choked him, throwing in a little force lightning for style, then finishing by beheading him with a lightsaber. Obi-Wan Kenobi then appeared, with a similar message, and was immediately wrapped in webbing shot from the Author's wrists, and flung out the window, and by this time, the real world author started getting tired of the copyright infringements, and, though it had been fun, abandoned the Force and his spider powers.

"I'll be coming in when I feel it necessary," said the Author, and, in a whirlwind of digital information and Brussels sprouts, vanished. Immediately, Vakama remembered the soon-coming all-Toa dance contest.

Vakama: "All-Toa dance contest"?

Author: Yes, there was a sale on lame plot devices at Target, and even though I'm a guy, I love a bargain.

Vakama: How much do you love bargains?

Author: You'll see soon enough. Rifles through thick file cabinet, with files that have names like "Matau gets a zit" and "Nokama tries to drive a car"

Vakama began walking to the Coliseum, to the dance contest.

XXX

Coming next week: Dance Dance Revolution (and more nonsense and copyrighted characters)!