Deep inside Shinra Headquarters:
*Hojo enters wearing a Teletubbies suit. A purple one to be exact.*
Hojo: We represent the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild.....
*Two Sephiroth clones enter. One is only a boy. The other is a teenage girl.*
Clone 1: How come I gotta be in this sketch? *whines*
*Clone 2 smacks the other in the face.*
Clone 2: You weren't supposed to say that!! It was because the producer says so! Besides, we all know that the viewers want to see my Britney Spears body! *starts flaunting her schoolgirl uniform*
Hojo: What are you two talking about? It's really me that they're here to see! *starts dancing in front of the clones and starts singing* I love fishes 'cause their so delicious....
Clones 1 & 2: HEY! *both push him and try to get more attention, but President Shinra enters*
PS: Just what is going on here? Aren't you supposed to keep your clones under control, Hojo? -whispers: You guys shouldn't get paid for this acting bit. You can't even act in character.-
*Hojo takes a clipboard and repeatedly hits Clone 1 on his head*
Hojo:You're supposed to get the flower girl for me!
Clone 1: Ow ow ow ow ow ow!!! *runs away*
Clone 2: Flower girl? *smiles* Who's getting married?
Hojo: No, you idiot! *pulls some of his own hair out* Get Aeris for me!!!
*the clone runs off and Hojo chucks the clipboard at her for good measure*
Hojo: So, Mr. President, what were you saying? Ummm.... Mr. President? You don't look too good.
*the president lies on the floor with a sword in his belly. Sephiroth is standing over him*
Sephiroth: Hey Dr. Dad. 'Sup?
*Hojo squeezes his eyes shut and grits his teeth*
Hojo: I told you not to talk like that! I don't want these people to think that... you know...?
Sephiroth: Oh, gee, sorry. *rolls his eyes* I'll try to remember next time. So... 'Sup?
*Hojo squeals like a pig and pulls some more of his hair out*
Hojo: Ack! Eek! Ack!
*Suddenly, Maylin enters, eyeing Sephiroth with a "come hither" look. Sephiroth cringes.*
Maylin: 'Sup?
Hojo: ACK!!!!
*Hojo takes a computer monitor and chucks it at Maylin. It misses and it lands on Sephiroth's foot*
Sephiroth: Ow ow ow!!! *hops on one foot with a grimace* Now I can't become one with the planet.
*whines*
Maylin: *smiles* Oooh! I know what can fix your foot: me!!! I'll love ya and kiss ya and hug ya to
pieces!!
Sephiroth: Noooooooo!!!! *tries to hop away, but falls flat on his face*
Maylin: Hey! I can fix that, too!!!
*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*
Somewhere in Midgar....
*Clone 1 and Clone 2 are walking around, careful not to talk with anyone but themselves*
Clone 1: *whines* I don't wanna do this again!
Clone 2: *kicks the other clone* Shut up! We're supposed to be looking for the flower girl for the wedding!
Clone 1: Ow! I don't wanna get married to you!
Clone 2: -You're- not getting married! Hojo is! I think he's getting married to one of those Telatubbies or something. Heh... That's pretty bold of him. Hey! Hello....?
Clone 1: *is mesmerized by a woman on the other side of the street. She is carrying a basket of multi-colored flowers*
Clone 2: Hey! *waves her hands in front of his face, but he doesn't even blink* What's up with you?
*follows his gaze to see the woman also* Hey! Could that be her?
Clone 1: *doesn't answer and approaches the woman*
Flower woman: Hi! Would you like to buy a flower? They're only a gil a piece. *smiles*
Clone 1: Uh...... *finds that he doesn't have any money*
Woman: No money? Well..... *picks out a blue flower and gives it to him* You can have this one for free. It should go well with what you're wearing.... whatever that is.
Clone 2: Hey! *yells at the clone* What are you doing? We're supposed to take her to Hojo!!
Woman: Well, my body odor isn't -that- bad! What's your problem?
Clone 2: *pulls the woman by the wrist and knocks her flowers to the ground* We need you for the
wedding!!
Woman: A wedding?? Me? Why, I'd love to!!!
*all three go to find Hojo, who was in his lab and dancing in his Barney costume*
Hojo: *sings* I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..... Oh, welcome!! *throws his arms up in
the air to greet the three* You're just in time!!
Clone 1: *approaches Hojo* Where's the Teletubbie you're going to marry?
Hojo: *beats the clone over his head* I'm not getting married!!!!!
Clone 1: Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!!!!!
Clone 2: If you're not getting married, then who's that? *points to the door, where a large purple
Telatubbie enters*
Telatubbie: Gay! Gay! Gay! *jumps around gayfully*
Hojo: *squeezes his eyes shut* ACK!!!!!!!! *pulls some of his hair out*
(end)
*Hojo enters wearing a Teletubbies suit. A purple one to be exact.*
Hojo: We represent the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild.....
*Two Sephiroth clones enter. One is only a boy. The other is a teenage girl.*
Clone 1: How come I gotta be in this sketch? *whines*
*Clone 2 smacks the other in the face.*
Clone 2: You weren't supposed to say that!! It was because the producer says so! Besides, we all know that the viewers want to see my Britney Spears body! *starts flaunting her schoolgirl uniform*
Hojo: What are you two talking about? It's really me that they're here to see! *starts dancing in front of the clones and starts singing* I love fishes 'cause their so delicious....
Clones 1 & 2: HEY! *both push him and try to get more attention, but President Shinra enters*
PS: Just what is going on here? Aren't you supposed to keep your clones under control, Hojo? -whispers: You guys shouldn't get paid for this acting bit. You can't even act in character.-
*Hojo takes a clipboard and repeatedly hits Clone 1 on his head*
Hojo:You're supposed to get the flower girl for me!
Clone 1: Ow ow ow ow ow ow!!! *runs away*
Clone 2: Flower girl? *smiles* Who's getting married?
Hojo: No, you idiot! *pulls some of his own hair out* Get Aeris for me!!!
*the clone runs off and Hojo chucks the clipboard at her for good measure*
Hojo: So, Mr. President, what were you saying? Ummm.... Mr. President? You don't look too good.
*the president lies on the floor with a sword in his belly. Sephiroth is standing over him*
Sephiroth: Hey Dr. Dad. 'Sup?
*Hojo squeezes his eyes shut and grits his teeth*
Hojo: I told you not to talk like that! I don't want these people to think that... you know...?
Sephiroth: Oh, gee, sorry. *rolls his eyes* I'll try to remember next time. So... 'Sup?
*Hojo squeals like a pig and pulls some more of his hair out*
Hojo: Ack! Eek! Ack!
*Suddenly, Maylin enters, eyeing Sephiroth with a "come hither" look. Sephiroth cringes.*
Maylin: 'Sup?
Hojo: ACK!!!!
*Hojo takes a computer monitor and chucks it at Maylin. It misses and it lands on Sephiroth's foot*
Sephiroth: Ow ow ow!!! *hops on one foot with a grimace* Now I can't become one with the planet.
*whines*
Maylin: *smiles* Oooh! I know what can fix your foot: me!!! I'll love ya and kiss ya and hug ya to
pieces!!
Sephiroth: Noooooooo!!!! *tries to hop away, but falls flat on his face*
Maylin: Hey! I can fix that, too!!!
*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*censored*
Somewhere in Midgar....
*Clone 1 and Clone 2 are walking around, careful not to talk with anyone but themselves*
Clone 1: *whines* I don't wanna do this again!
Clone 2: *kicks the other clone* Shut up! We're supposed to be looking for the flower girl for the wedding!
Clone 1: Ow! I don't wanna get married to you!
Clone 2: -You're- not getting married! Hojo is! I think he's getting married to one of those Telatubbies or something. Heh... That's pretty bold of him. Hey! Hello....?
Clone 1: *is mesmerized by a woman on the other side of the street. She is carrying a basket of multi-colored flowers*
Clone 2: Hey! *waves her hands in front of his face, but he doesn't even blink* What's up with you?
*follows his gaze to see the woman also* Hey! Could that be her?
Clone 1: *doesn't answer and approaches the woman*
Flower woman: Hi! Would you like to buy a flower? They're only a gil a piece. *smiles*
Clone 1: Uh...... *finds that he doesn't have any money*
Woman: No money? Well..... *picks out a blue flower and gives it to him* You can have this one for free. It should go well with what you're wearing.... whatever that is.
Clone 2: Hey! *yells at the clone* What are you doing? We're supposed to take her to Hojo!!
Woman: Well, my body odor isn't -that- bad! What's your problem?
Clone 2: *pulls the woman by the wrist and knocks her flowers to the ground* We need you for the
wedding!!
Woman: A wedding?? Me? Why, I'd love to!!!
*all three go to find Hojo, who was in his lab and dancing in his Barney costume*
Hojo: *sings* I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..... Oh, welcome!! *throws his arms up in
the air to greet the three* You're just in time!!
Clone 1: *approaches Hojo* Where's the Teletubbie you're going to marry?
Hojo: *beats the clone over his head* I'm not getting married!!!!!
Clone 1: Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!!!!!
Clone 2: If you're not getting married, then who's that? *points to the door, where a large purple
Telatubbie enters*
Telatubbie: Gay! Gay! Gay! *jumps around gayfully*
Hojo: *squeezes his eyes shut* ACK!!!!!!!! *pulls some of his hair out*
(end)