December 24th, Christmas Eve.
A light snow fell over the quiet Seattle night. It wasn't expected to amount to much, it never did in the city, but it added nice atmosphere to a mellow Christmas Eve.
Callie tiptoed out of the room that held her sleeping daughter. She had finally gotten the overstimulated girl to settle down, much later than she had anticipated, but at least now she wouldn't be up at the crack of dawn. She had hoped that Arizona would call to wish their daughter a Merry Christmas, but at almost midnight, it seemed unlikely at best.
She poured herself some eggnog, with just a touch of brandy to get into the spirit, and walked back into the den where the Christmas tree was flashing merriment around the darkened room. She took a sip of her nog, and licked the rich thick cream off of her lips.
She looked around her home, the one she thought she'd spend a lifetime in with Arizona and their children, instead it was just her and Sofia. Arizona was across the country spending Christmas with her parents.
Things had been going well between the two women. Their awkwardness around each other post-divorce had dissipated and they had formed a new bond. A bond based in friendship, mutual respect, and co-parenting. They were ideal exes.
They had originally planned to let Arizona have Sofia during the day on Christmas Eve, then the young girl would return home to Callie that night. Arizona would come back to the house the following morning for breakfast and gifts, but those plans were scratched when Arizona got news of her father's heart attack.
Luckily it had been only been a mild heart attack, a warning shot, the Colonel called it, but he did have to spend several days, including those leading up to Christmas in Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C. Arizona had insisted on being there to speak personally with his cardiologist, despite that meaning she would miss Christmas with Sofia.
Callie had suggested they postpone Christmas for a few days—at Sofia's age it wouldn't matter much—and offered to go with her, to support her, but Arizona had declined. She hadn't needed Callie's support. She was fine. She just needed to see her father with her own eyes.
Arizona also insisted that Callie promise to not postpone Christmas. She didn't want to make the young girl wait. She and Sofia could have their own Christmas when she returned to Seattle.
So Callie kept her promise. She opened the small hall closet, where Sofia's gifts were hidden, then started placing them under the tree. She wondered how long such an obvious hiding place would be possible. Sofia was curious, but fully believed in Santa Claus, it would never even occur to the child to look for her gifts.
She had just placed the last gift under the tree and was standing there admiring her handy work when she was startled from her musings by a gentle knock on the door.
Callie stopped herself before opening the door, it was late and she wasn't expecting anyone. She went to the side window and looked out, and was surprised at who she saw standing on the porch.
She quickly unlatched the lock and pulled the door open.
Arizona was standing on the porch, luggage by her feet, snow falling in the background. Her hair was a mess from travel, and she looked tired and worn, but determined in a way she hadn't in a very long time.
Callie thought it was the most beautiful she'd ever seen the blonde, "Arizona?" she said. "What…? Is your dad okay?"
Arizona just nodded and took a deep breath, her eyes roamed the woman in front of her. Callie was stunning in her bright red silk Christmas pajamas. Callie stepped back allowing the other woman to come in out of the cold.
"He's fine, Callie."
"What..." Callie stuttered. "What are you doing here?"
"I just… I need to say something," Arizona whispered. "Okay?"
"Um, sure. Of course," Callie nodded.
They stood awkwardly for a few moments in the small foyer of the home they used to share, until Arizona made the first move and removed her wet scarf and gloves.
That done, the blonde cleared her throat and said, "I used to believe that once in a lifetime, if you are lucky, you meet that one person in all the world that was meant to be yours. All the stars align and things happen in just the right way to make for a long and happy future together. You meet your soulmate, the person you were made for, and who was made for you. And that was that—you loved each other, and none of the rest of it mattered."
"But, you don't believe that anymore?" Callie swallowed, her throat unwillingly constricting at the words.
"No, I don't. It's senseless and naïve to think that there is only one person out there for you, or just one chance at happiness. Life and love are more complicated than that. Things happen, people change, happiness isn't guaranteed. Our moment…"
"Arizona, I…"
"Shush, I'm not finished, Calliope," Arizona said. "I just need to say this and then I'll go. Okay?"
"Okay," Callie nodded again.
"Where was I?" Arizona's brow furrowed.
"Our moment…," Callie tentatively provided.
"Oh, right. Our moment," Arizona took a deep breath in preparation for what she was about to say.
Callie bit her lip in anticipation, her expressive brown eyes never leaving the crystal blue ones in front of her.
"I think figured it out while I was away. What happened… why we didn't make it? We missed our moment, Calliope."
Callie deflated at the words.
"Our once-in-a-lifetime moment? We blew it."
Callie smiled sadly, and nodded, unwanted tears forming in her eyes, not realizing until that instant—until that word of finality from the other woman—how much she still wanted Arizona. Yes, she was the one who ended what they were, but what they were wasn't working. She always had an inkling of hope… that somewhere down the road, after they both healed, they'd somehow find a way. But now… the rug was gone. Arizona had ripped it out from under her. Addison had started her thinking about it, but Arizona's words clinched it. Callie was still in love with Arizona Robbins. She felt like she wanted to vomit.
"No, no… Callie listen…," Arizona quickly added when she realized how Callie had taken her words. "I didn't mean… I'm trying to…," she growled in frustration at being unable to make her point quickly. She calmed herself for a second, then started over. "What I'm saying is… Where does it say you don't get multiple tries at once in a lifetime? I mean… is there a rule that says you only get one shot? Because if there is, it's a dumb rule. And… I want to break that rule with you. For us. Because love isn't a moment. It's a journey. And sometimes when you embark on a journey with another person there are missteps and wrong turns. Sometimes we get lost. We didn't have a map when we started this, heck… we didn't even know where we were going. We were traveling side-by-side, but… never on the same path and somehow we got separated. I found me, and you found you… now we can find each other again. I think—hope—that finally our stars have aligned. Maybe this time, we can start this journey off right." She nodded hopefully at the stunned brunette.
"Arizona," Callie finally choked out. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying… asking, really…," she took another deep breath, "Calliope Iphigenia Torres, would you like to go on a date with me?"
Two days earlier, December 22nd.
Arizona sat in the bar of her hotel across the street from Walter Reed Army Medical Center and sipped on her wine. Her father's heart attack and subsequent hospitalization had come at time when things were going really well for her. She'd finished her fellowship and her professional life was at a high point. Personally, though she missed having a romantic and sexual relationship with Callie, the two had never been closer. Finally on the same page, their friendship had blossomed and grown and everyone had noticed they both had a spring in their step and smile on their face. They both had healed, and life was good.
Then her dad had a heart attack the week before Christmas.
Before, something this big would have caused her to shut down, internalize her emotions and cling to Callie for support. But this time, she felt strangely calm. Therapy had helped her learn to deal with emotional upheaval, instead of stuffing her feelings down to later explode, she had learned several techniques for heathy expression. She felt like she had a good handle on this.
Callie had offered to come with her, as a friend, but she hadn't needed her. Arizona knew she could do this alone. Even if the worst had happened, and her father was sicker than he or her mother had let on, she knew she was ready.
It turns out she was right, he had been sicker than he let on, but it wasn't necessarily doom and gloom. He needed a risky bypass surgery, which was brilliantly performed by her old friend, Dr. Teddy Altman, who was now Chief of Surgery at Walter Reed.
The Colonel had come through the surgery two days before and was doing well. As a matter of fact, he was due to be released from the hospital the following day.
Arizona took another sip of her wine and checked her watch. She and Teddy hand finally found the time, between Teddy's busy work schedule and Arizona's need to be by her father's side, to meet up in a more social environment.
They hadn't spoken much about Seattle or what had happened since Teddy left. Teddy knew of the plane crash, of course, but none of the aftermath.
When Arizona had first arrived in D.C. and found out that Teddy was at WRAMC and would be performing her father's surgery, she breathed a sigh of relief. She knew Teddy was an excellent surgeon, and she trusted her with her father's heart, but Teddy had asked about Callie and Sofia, Arizona had said they were fine, then informed Teddy that Callie would not be joining her in the nation's capital.
Teddy knew there was more to the story, but she didn't want to question Arizona further while at the hospital. Arizona understood this and was grateful for the reprieve, but she didn't for a second believe she'd get off that easy tonight. And she was correct. As soon as Teddy sat down at the bar next to her and ordered her drink, she said, "What the hell happened with you and Callie? Why isn't she here?"
"We're divorced," Arizona said quickly. She'd gotten good at ripping off Band-Aids.
"What?"
"Yep," Arizona took a sip of her wine.
"Arizona, what happened? You guys were my aspirational couple!" Teddy called the bartender back over and ordered an extra shot. "I think I'm going to need one," she pointed to the shot of whiskey being poured, "You?"
"Sure what the hell," Arizona smiled. "I'm not driving tonight."
The bartender poured one for Arizona as well, and the two women clinked their glasses before downing the whiskey.
"Ugh, that's gross," Arizona wheezed. "How do people drink that regularly?"
"After a couple, you don't feel it… or taste it," Teddy laughed.
"Well, I'm not going for numb. I don't do that anymore."
"Tell me what happened," Teddy asked.
"Are you sure you want to know?"
"Do I?" Teddy asked.
Arizona just shrugged in response.
"Yeah, I guess I do. Tell me… tell me everything," Teddy took a sip of her drink.
"God, where do I start?"
"How about the beginning?"
"Oh, there is way too much for that," Arizona shook her head. "How about the cliff notes version?"
"As long as you hit the important parts, I need a full picture."
"I promise," Arizona replied. She tore at her napkin while trying to organize her thoughts into something that would give Teddy the full picture without all the gory details, but the details were important, so she would have to share them all.
The two old friends talked and drank, and drank and talked, for the better part of two hours. Arizona told Teddy everything she could think of starting with the plane crash and ending with Callie walking out of the therapy office after their failed reconciliation. She didn't leave out a single detail.
"Wow," Teddy slurred a bit. "That's a lot of stuff."
"That's what I'm sayin'," Arizona hiccupped. Her hand flew to her mouth. "Sorry. I'm a little drunk."
"Me too," Teddy sighed. "I don't know what to say, Arizona."
"There is nothing to say, Teddy."
"You cheated on her…"
"I know," Arizona looked at her lap, then back at her dumbfounded friend. "I thought I was being self-destructive, I just… I didn't think about collateral damage. I wanted to tear my life down… and I took her down with me. I really hurt her."
"And then you had a relationship with an intern?" Teddy shook her head, still a bit in shock at Arizona's revelations.
"Again, not one of my better life choices," Arizona replied
"I'd say," Teddy took a sip of her beer. "Not at all how I thought you'd deal with…" she trailed off not want to offend her friend.
"Losing my leg?"
"Yeah," Teddy answered. "I thought you'd be all…."
"Courageous and inspirational?" Arizona laughed. "A special snowflake who triumphed over her disability with the sheer power of her sunny disposition?"
"Yeah… kinda."
"Well, I wasn't. I had to grieve and fight and rage, Teddy. I had to process my trauma, and not just a physical trauma- emotional and psychological too. I wasn't me for a long time. I tried to grasp at happiness again by getting pregnant, but that just ended up adding to the problem."
"Callie couldn't help you through this?"
"Nobody could have helped me through this," Arizona sighed, she downed her wine and signaled to the bartender for another.
"I'm so sorry this happened to you," Teddy simply said.
"Thank you, Teddy," Arizona accepted her friend's apologetic sympathy, "I really appreciate it. I'm sorry it happened to me too, because of what it cost me. My life will never be the same."
"God, you guys were so great together," Teddy said. "Are you sure there is nothing you can do? I mean, you still love her, right?"
"Yes, I still love her, I always will, but… you know, we tried… we tried to put it back together but nothing fit, nothing was comfortable anymore. We weren't the same people and we just couldn't get it back." Arizona just shrugged. She and Callie had moved past all of this, it didn't cause her chest to constrict with pain to talk about anymore.
"It?"
"Us, the old us. The past."
"Hmm," Teddy hummed, a thought forming in her alcohol soaked brain. "Fuck the past, Arizona."
"What?"
"I said, 'fuck the past'. You can't go back. You can't relive it, but you can redo it."
"I'm still confused, uh… what?"
"You still love her?"
"I just said I did…" Arizona was confused.
"And you want to be with her?"
"I guess," Arizona nodded, "yeah, I do."
"So tell her," Teddy replied.
"I can't. Right now we are better as friends. What we are doing works."
"No, no… you misunderstood. Don't go back and ask Callie to get back together, to be your wife again. Don't go directly into the relationship crap."
"I thought you just said…"
"Shut up and let me finish my thought," Teddy waited a second before continuing, just to make sure Arizona was staying 'shut up'.
Arizona waited patiently.
"You go back and ask her out on a date," Teddy tapped her finger on the bar for emphasis.
"A date?"
"A date. Just a date."
"You are asking me to forget everything that Callie and I have been through?"
"No, I didn't say 'forget it', I said 'fuck it'."
"Wow, Teddy. I gotta say, your language has taken a turn for the filthy since you left," Arizona said. "Explain to me the difference?"
"You'll never forget your past with Callie, you shouldn't forget it. But you can let it go. Let it die. Bury it six feet in the ground. Start something new."
"Something new?"
"Yeah, do it right this time," Teddy slurred.
"Something new," Arizona rolled the concept around in her brain. She knew she was ready to start dating again, she just never thought it would, or even could be with Callie. Was it possible for her and Callie start over? They were both happy now… free. And if they could both let the old 'them' go… "Yeah," she smiled. "A fresh start. Oh, Theodora Altman, you are amazing. "
One day earlier, December 23rd.
Callie was in her office taking care of some last minute charting before having a glorious three days off for Christmas. Seniority had its perks, especially during the holidays. She had no electives scheduled, and she was the on call orthopedic surgeon the year before.
She was startled from work by her phone buzzing across her desk. She picked it up quickly, and frowned at the number. She tapped the screen to accept the call and quickly put the phone up to her ear.
"Hello?"
"Merry Christmas!"
"Addison?"
"You sound surprised," 'Addison said.
"I am," Callie replied. "Is everything okay? I haven't heard from you months."
"I'm fine, and it's been almost a year."
"Wow, time flies," Callie smiled. "And um… Merry Christmas to you too."
"Thanks, I wanted to let you know to expect a package today. A Christmas gift for Sofia."
"Addison, you didn't have to do that."
"I know I didn't, but I got the gift you sent for Henry from Sofia and…"
"Wait, what?" Callie hadn't sent a gift to Henry. "What gift?"
"Well, I haven't opened it, it's not Christmas yet, so I don't what it is. You're the one that sent it, you tell me?"
"I didn't send anything."
"The tag says 'Sofia Torres', I just assumed…."
"Arizona probably sent it. She must have taken it upon herself to do some Christmas shopping."
"Without telling you? Do you two do a divide and conquer on your Christmas list? I'd have thought you for snuggly co-shoppers."
"We're divorced," Callie blurted.
"You're what now?"
"Divorced."
"I don't understand…. Divorced from what… reality?"
"Arizona and I are divorced… from each other. Don't make me keep saying it."
"Callie Torres, what the fuck?"
"Addison! Wait… are WASPs allowed to swear?"
"When their friends get divorced without telling them, they are. Seriously, Callie, what the fuck happened?"
"Life. A plane crash, an amputation… all on top of already unresolved issues. Which lead to Band-Aids and cheating and… we tried, but we couldn't come back."
"Cheating? Oh, Cal. I'm sorry, I didn't know. You… or?"
"NO, I would never. Her, but… it was more than that. That was a symptom of a larger problem… She got lost, I got lost. We lost ourselves and each other. But… were good now. Friends even. I'm over it. I have moved on."
"Right," Addison was skeptical.
"What?" Callie defended her words. "It's true. We're both… happy now. We each found ourselves outside of our relationship. It's been nice."
"And you tried to work things out?"
"We did, Addison, for almost a year. You of all people should know what it's like trying to come back from something like that. You and Derek didn't make it."
"Because Derek was already in love with someone else. We couldn't come back from that. Meredith was a game changer," Addison explained. She paused for a second to let Callie take that in before asking, "Have either of you two started dating?"
"No, we've both been kind of focused on our careers, ourselves, and Sofia."
"Then it's not too late."
"Too late for what?"
"For you to fix this, dumbass."
"Addison!"
"Look, Callie. It's the day before Christmas Eve, so I'm busy and don't have time to beat around the bush. I can tell by the tone of your voice, and the way you are trying to sound nonchalant, that you are still in love with her…"
"Of course I still love her, Addison," Callie interrupted. "She's the mother of my child, I'm always…," her voice caught with unexpected emotion. "I'm always going to love her. But we are over. I'm the one that ended us. There is no going back. Forward is our only direction."
"If you wait until she's met a game changer," Addison warned. "Then truer words will have never been spoken. Callie, seriously, if you love her, you shouldn't give up."
"I don't know, Addison. I think our time has passed."
The cusp of midnight December 24th/25th, Christmas Eve/Christmas.
"Calliope Iphigenia Torres, would you like to go on a date with me?"
"What?" Callie couldn't believe what she heard, she needed to hear it again.
"I think we called it wrong, Callie. We misjudged the situation. We need a redo. So if you are up to it… I'd like to take you to dinner."
After taking a moment to process what Arizona had just said, Callie smiled and replied with a shrug, "Maybe."
"Maybe?" Arizona gazed back, her eyebrows lifting high on her forehead. She knew exactly what Callie was doing.
"Yeah, my schedule's kind of insane right now. So I'll… have to get back to you," Callie tried to remain cool, but she couldn't contain herself now any more than she could the first time. "How's, uh, tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow is Christmas, Callie."
"I don't care, if you don't care," Callie's eyebrow went up suggestively. "As a matter of fact, why don't we do breakfast?"
"Oh, I don't…" Arizona shook her head, she didn't mean for them to jump right back into it. "Too fast," she stumbled on the words.
"I didn't mean…," Callie blushed. It'd been a long time since she'd blushed around Arizona. "I meant Christmas morning breakfast… with our daughter."
"Oh," Arizona's heart slowed back to an almost normal speed, "I'd like that."
"Me too," Callie agreed. "Me too."
They stood there staring at each other, neither knowing what to say next. Suddenly-out of nowhere—they were kissing. The sound of church bells (indicating the start of Midnight Mass) chimed in the background. It was officially Christmas. They had come together, not just with their lips, but with their whole bodies. The embrace was warm and passionate. Callie grasped desperately at Arizona's hips, and Arizona hands slid up Callie's strong arms and into her silky black hair. It felt like coming home.
They drew apart as the final church bell faded, eyes still closed, foreheads pressed together, and their chests heaving from both exhilaration and relief at finding one another again. When Callie's eyes finally fluttered open, she noticed a single tear escaping the blonde's still closed eyes. She brought her hands up to gently cup the other woman's face, her thumb catching the tear before it could breach her cheek. She leaned in and kissed the trail it would have left.
"I'd…uh, I'd better go," Arizona took a step back towards the door, not wanting to overdo it. Her original plan hadn't involved kissing—that was just a bonus. She didn't want to go too fast, skip steps, so, she moved to leave.
"Wait," Callie stopped her before she reached the door, "stay. It's cold outside… and late."
"Callie," Arizona warned.
"Please? It's getting bad out there," Callie pointed to the fresh coat of snow. "I promise I won't… kiss you again. You can sleep in the spare room, be here when Sofia wakes up. Oh! We can tell her Santa brought you."
Arizona's face broke into a smile, Callie knew the other woman couldn't resist her child. Arizona laughed, "Can I tell her I rode on his sleigh?"
"You can," Callie nodded.
"Will you fix chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast?"
"It wouldn't be Christmas without them," Callie replied.
"Okay, it's a date," Arizona grinned, then added, "I'll stay in the spare room."
One month and twenty-one days later, February 14th, Valentine's Day.
The two women put their much beloved necklaces back on.
Four months and one day later, April 27th.
Arizona moved back into the house, for the last time.
One year later, December 24th, Christmas Eve.
Calliope Torres and Arizona Robbins married again in a private ceremony surrounded by the people they love—a small group of friends and family gathered to celebrate them finding each other again.
Over the past year they learned that they did have a once-in-a-lifetime love, a love that could beat the odds.
They survived their hardships, let go of the past, and decided to move forward together. This leg of the journey would be taken hand-in-hand. This time, no one would get lost. They would stay on course together. Their stars had aligned.
They found their moment.