Characters of Love

by Totally-Out-Of-It

After entering Hwarang, Sunwoo starts receiving letters. They might be important, telling him secrets, making demands, or declaring intentions of the heart. The only problem is that he doesn't know how to read them. Sunwoo/Jidwi

Characters of Love

After entering Hwarang, Sunwoo starts receiving letters. They might be important, telling him secrets, making demands, or declaring intentions of the heart. The only problem is that he doesn't know how to read them. Sunwoo/Jidwi

…

…

The first time Sunwoo got a letter was right after he joined Hwarang House. The new Hwarang members were still recovering from their initial night of drunken brawling, and the minimal chaos of the next morning, still bruised and cut and avoiding Sunwoo for the most part.

The paper contained five characters, but Sunwoo couldn't understand what it meant. Five? None of them matched what was on his dice. Was it something about how he'd beaten up the other members of Hwarang? Was it a threat? A surrender? A plea? Was it from Ah Ro? But she knew he couldn't read.

He'd picked Suho to read it because he seemed like the roommate least likely to either hold the knowledge that Sunwoo couldn't read over his head or spread whatever the letter said around.

"You want me to read it for you?" he asked, accepting the folded paper from Sunwoo. Sunwoo nodded without a word. Suho grinned. "Did you insult some official's daughter and now you're scared her father is out for your manhood?"

Sunwoo frowned. "Just…read it to me."

With a flair more suited to reading royal decrees than simple notes left on pillows, Suho unfolded the paper, cleared his throat, and then paused. His face grew confused, and then annoyed. "Yah! All this says is 'Thank You.' That's hardly worth the ink." He narrowed his eyes as Sunwoo. "Who's thanking you, and what for?"

Sunwoo shrugged. "Is it not signed?"

Suho huffed, refolding the paper and handing it back to Sunwoo. "No." He sighed dramatically, hands on his hips. "That wasn't nearly as fun as I expected."

Then the official's son left to, in his own words, find something to annoy Banryu with. That had to be more fun than thank you notes. Sunwoo was left standing in their room alone, holding a thank you note, with no idea what he was being thanked for or by whom.

The handwriting was very nice though. Thin, perfect lines, even prettier than Ah Ro's characters. And it was the first letter Sunwoo had ever received in his life. He slipped it under his mattress for safe keeping until he could put it somewhere safer.

…

…

After the written exam, where he failed to impress Wihwa enough to earn a passing mark, Sunwoo wandered the compound. Two more failing marks and he'd be out of Hwarang. What would happen to Mak Moon's family then? To Ah Ro? To Doctor Ahnji?

It never occurred to Sunwoo to try and convince Wihwa to give him a pass. He'd failed Sunwoo in front of every Hwarang. He wasn't the sort to appreciate begging, either. Sunwoo would simply have to make sure not to fail any more of Wihwa's tests. He couldn't fight off all that the Queen could throw at them if he was kicked out of Hwarang, so he had to make his stand there.

Upon returning to the room, he found Jidwi lounging on the middle bed as if expecting someone to paint his portrait. The others were nowhere to be found, but Sunwoo didn't give them much notice. Instead, his attention was drawn to the letter casing lying on his pillow, just like the first one he'd received.

The casing was a deep, almost midnight blue, with shimmering designs stitched into it. For one moment Sunwoo wondered if he was meant to return it since it looked so expensive, and then he discarded the thought and pulled the letter from inside.

There were many more characters this time than last time. Sunwoo had increased his reading skills a bit in preparation for this written test, but still the message was gibberish.

He recognized 'you' and 'words,' 'bad' and 'read,' but that was it. There was much more to the message than that, but Sunwoo was at a loss to what it meant.

Jidwi was still lounging, as if he hadn't a care in the world. Likely he didn't. He'd passed the written exam without writing a word, while Sunwoo and most of the other Hwarang had failed. Sunwoo had a passing thought to ask him to read the letter aloud for Sunwoo, but then he shook it off. Jidwi always seemed above the actions of the other Hwarang. He would probably ignore Sunwoo. Or he'd make some disparaging comment about what happened in the lesson room today.

Sunwoo could really do without comments like that, thanks very much.

"You have a way with words. It's too bad you can't read or write as well as you speak."

Sunwoo jumped, his grip on the letter tightening and crinkling the paper, and turned to look at Jidwi.

The other male met his eyes evenly. "I'm certain the others will tell you in their own way, but I know most of them preferred your answer to mine." He didn't sound troubled by this, but his eyes lowered after he spoke and it was as if he were searching the floor for the answer to a question he didn't ask aloud, one that definitely made him look troubled.

"And you?" Sunwoo asked after a long silence had passed between them.

Jidwi lifted his gaze to Sunwoo's again. He was perhaps the only Hwarang, so far, that hadn't looked at Sunwoo like Sunwoo were insulting him by meeting his eyes as if they were equals. It had gained Jidwi a level of respect from Sunwoo, though he would never admit that aloud.

At the moment, Jidwi's eyes said that Jidwi had a thousand words he wanted to say, a thousand subtle details he wanted to share, but the set of his lips told Sunwoo that none of them would be released today.

Casting his gaze about the room in assumed casualness, Jidwi said, "Your answer certainly was the more noble choice, I'll admit. I'm simply not sure how to enact it in real life."

Sunwoo huffed a single laugh. "It's easy enough," he said when he had Jidwi's attention again. He folded the letter as he spoke. "Make a decision, about something you believe in with all your heart, and work toward it. Use your own power rather than waiting for someone else to hand it to you." When the letter was safely back inside its delivery case, Sunwoo nodded. "That's what I'll do."

For another long while, the room was silent. Sunwoo lost himself in his thoughts again.

He had to fight and prove that he should be kept here in Hwarang House. He had to continue here until he found a way to win against the queen, until he could ensure the safety of Mak Moon's family. It was his fault they were in danger, so he had to fix it. Somehow. This was his path. He had to break the chains that the queen had around Doctor Ahnji's family, around everyone, so that they would be safe.

A soft noise from Jidwi brought Sunwoo back to the present.

"Definitely a way with words," Jidwi mumbled to himself. If there had been other noise in the room, Sunwoo wouldn't have heard it. Then Jidwi let out a sigh, placed his arms behind his head, and laid out fully on the bed. "I think I'll nap," he said at a conversational level. "Send someone to fetch me if we're needed somewhere."

Sunwoo huffed again at the entitlement in that statement, but didn't contradict it. If they were needed, someone would come fetch him indeed, if only to ensure that their entire team didn't face the consequences of Jidwi being missing.

Not wanting Jidwi to see him hide the letter under his mattress, Sunwoo instead slid the letter into his robes and left him to sleep.

…

…

The next letter was delivered by an older gentleman.

At the time, Sunwoo was, in a word, hiding. Park Youngshil's revelation that Mak Moon had seen the king's face, that this was why he'd been killed…Sunwoo was still reeling. He'd been looking for some nameless, faceless man responsible for Mak Moon's death. Now he knew who his target truly was. The king of Silla. The faceless, cowardly king who killed anyone who dared to look upon him. What kind of ruler was that? Certainly not one that Sunwoo would follow.

He was sitting in a corner courtyard of Hwarang House, just on the edge of the forest, where few people spent much time. Thus it was a surprise when the man in maroon robes scurried up to him. His face bore the lines of many years of worry, but he seemed like a decent, trustworthy sort.

The man came to a stop next to Sunwoo, just far enough away to still be considered respectful, and stared down at him. He looked like someone given a task they really didn't want to complete.

After almost twenty seconds of silence, Sunwoo lifted his gaze from the decorative hedges that lined the courtyard to look up at the man. "Can I help you?"

Immediately, the man gave a put upon sigh. He reached into his robes and produced a letter. When Sunwoo reached out to accept it, the man pulled it back. Sunwoo frowned at the discourteous gesture.

"I know it may be hard," the man said, and his voice spoke of endless compassion but also a warning, "but if you hurt him, I will never forgive you."

Then he handed Sunwoo the letter and scurried off as fast as he'd come. Sunwoo watched him go in bemusement. Who was Sunwoo going to hurt? And who was that man to say such things to him?

When he was alone once more, Sunwoo removed the letter from its casing and unfolded it.

"Aisch!" he cursed, seeing the full sheet of text. "This person-!"

There was no way Sunwoo could read this! His eyes started glazing over just seeing so many characters in one place.

Shaking his head, Sunwoo did his best to focus on the words. Scanning the page, he saw… 'suffering'…forgive…'forgiveness'?...'true'…'dreams'…'between'…'happy'…'I' was in there a few times…'person'…and…'repay.' Then he couldn't make himself even try anymore.

Sunwoo really needed to learn how to read. The letters kept getting longer. What if they were important? What if someone was trying to warn him of something? What if they had information about Mak Moon's killer, or someone who had learned Sunwoo wasn't the real Sunwoo, or what the queen was planning?

Refolding the letter, though his annoyance at being illiterate made him less careful than he'd been with previous letters, Sunwoo headed off to find Ah Ro. She was the only person he could trust to teach him to read without any judgment, and he desperately needed to learn.

…

…

If Wihwa knew how often Sunwoo snuck out of his team's bedroom at night, his teammates and he would never see the end of punishments. Carrying Wihwa around the forest and doing extra laundry would be the least of their problems. If Wihwa knew he snuck out most nights to practice reading and writing, he might be impressed.

They'd still get a punishment though.

Luckily for Sunwoo, and for all four of his roommates, no one ever caught Sunwoo during his nightly escapades to the medical room. Sunwoo also carried papers, prepared by Ah Ro, wherever he went and used any free time between Hwarang training, classes, and chores to practice reading new characters and sentences. Also luckily for Sunwoo, no one had ever caught him at it. Sure, his roommates knew he was functionally illiterate and probably all of Hwarang knew he had a very limited education, but the last thing he needed was a bunch of True Bones looking down on him because he read like a six year old.

He might punch someone, and then his entire team would get a punishment.

"You're doing really well," Ah Ro told him one night. "You must be practicing a lot."

Sunwoo nodded, most of his attention on writing the characters they were practicing that night. Ah Ro hummed and pillowed her chin in her hands on the table.

"Why are you trying so hard?" She frowned. "Is there another written test coming up?"

Now Sunwoo shook his head. He finished the line of characters before sitting back to take a breather. "I realized that…I'm probably missing out on a lot by not being able to read."

Ah Ro hummed again, this time sounding happy. "Reading is pretty great. There are lots of stories out there, after all. But I prefer telling them, or writing them myself, to reading them."

Sunwoo gave a tiny smile and didn't correct her. What did it matter that she thought he meant books when he actually meant letters? It amounted to the same thing, after all.

…

…

"What do you think of the princess?"

Jidwi looked up from where he'd been reading by the window. "Hm?"

Sunwoo shook his head. "Nevermind."

Princess Sookmyung had taken over their dance training for the Moon Festival last night. Sunwoo had already had a run in with her at the river and he honestly didn't know if she had been insulted or not. He also honestly didn't care. She wasn't exactly like the queen, but she still had the air of someone raised on the belief that they could do no wrong, that everyone else was beneath them, and that what she thought was always right. People like that upset Sunwoo deep in his chest and he didn't care if he angered them as long as any backlash only came back on himself and not others.

Now, however, he looked down at the latest letter he'd received and wondered if there was more to Princess Sookmyung than he'd originally thought.

'Be Careful of Princess Sookmyung'

Ah Ro was right. Sunwoo had improved. He could read every word on the paper. Though it was written with pretty simple words, all things considered. Ah Ro had taught him how to read the princess's name as soon as they heard she would probably be coming to Hwarang house, right alongside the characters to spell Queen Jiso and King Jinheung.

Sunwoo's writing was still shaky, clumsy, while Ah Ro tended to draw pictures and embellishments around her own writing. It made Sunwoo's characters look even more childish. Ah Ro's could be published or printed for sale. Ah Ro's handwriting matched who she was as a person. She was dedicated, and there was more to her than met the eye. She was a storyteller and brought worlds to life with her words and her creativity. She was very pretty.

And then there was the writer of these letters. Attractive, perfect lines, swooping and delicate but with definite purpose. Sunwoo would say they had lots of experience in writing, and that they were probably a perfectionist but open to being a little artistic, and if their handwriting matched their face then they were likely beautiful.

This latest letter made Sunwoo wonder, more than ever, who was writing these letters. There was never a signature or any identifying marks. But that messenger had referred to the sender as 'he' and now this letter mentioned the princess. Was the sender someone in Hwarang?

And why be wary of the princess?

"She's likely here as a pawn of the queen," Jidwi said, his eyes back on his book, though his eyes did not scan the page. He instead looked up at Sunwoo over the top. It was a rather striking image. "Then again, your here on the queen's orders too, are you not?"

Sunwoo snorted derisively and looked away. Despite how he tried to act contrary, sometimes Jidwi was as ridiculous as the others. Like Suho and Banryu, and all the others in Hwarang, Jidwi believed Sunwoo answered to the queen, that he was some sort of spy. Really, they should know him better than that by now.

"Mm, maybe on her orders, but not on her side," Jidwi amended himself, eyes trailing back to his book, unconcerned. "Princess Sookmyung probably isn't happy about that."

He had Sunwoo's attention again. "What do you know about the princess?"

Jidwi shrugged one shoulder. "I know you have her attention." Then he sighed and gave up pretending to read, instead closing the book and laying it in his lap. Why did he always look like he was posing, doing his best to appear as attractive and aloof as possible? "I know that having the attention of a Sacred Bone is asking for danger, and that they are more trouble than they are worth."

It sounded like he spoke from experience.

The sounds of drumming, a constant background noise since Woo Reuk had come to be their music master, died away for a brief moment and Sunwoo heard the distinct sound of Suho and Yeo Wool's teasing voices down the hall.

He thought of warning Jidwi against saying things against the royal family so easily, since Suho was very loyal to the queen, but decided against it. Jidwi wasn't a fool. He would never say something like that around someone who would get him into trouble for it. Which also meant that he knew Sunwoo didn't like the royal family much either.

Sunwoo wondered exactly how much Jidwi knew about him. Though he acted like he didn't care about the other Hwarang most of the time, it was clear that he kept a close eye on them and knew more than he shared. How much of his attention was on Sunwoo?

As Suho burst into the room, a jolly Yeo Wool and a bitter looking Banryu in tow, Sunwoo busied himself getting ready for their next class: dance practice. He could wonder about mysterious letter senders, the princess, and Jidwi's attentions later. Right now he needed to improve his dancing so his team didn't get punished for embarrassing the Hwarang at the festival.

Jidwi had already gone back to his book.

…

…

Shortly after the Moon Festival performance, which was near perfect despite someone destroying their instruments, every Hwarang was assigned a nando. A disciple. A subordinate. Sunwoo was given Suk Danse, the elder brother of his fellow Hwarang, Hansung.

The only thing that surprised Sunwoo as much as Danse choosing him over his own brother was the fact that the aged messenger who had brought him a letter once was also a nando.

Sunwoo asked Jidwi about him on their way back from the showers that night. "Your nando," he said.

As he opened his cupboard to put away his bathing supplies, Jidwi hummed out, "Hm?" His hair was still damp and Sunwoo looked away as Jidwi brushed it out of his face. Sunwoo's stomach knotted uncomfortably at the sight of Jidwi's casual gesture, and he wished the other wouldn't be so aloof. Then Sunwoo pushed the feeling and thoughts away, focusing on his original concern.

Though he also stood at the cupboards, Sunwoo made no move to put his own supplies away. "How old is he?"

Jidwi let out an almost derisive snort. Somehow, even that seemed designed to be attractive when Jidwi did it. "He said he was twenty-two." Sunwoo turned curious eyes on Jidwi. "Why? Do you not believe it?"

It was almost like he was challenging Sunwoo, daring him to say that the man was lying. Sunwoo often found himself feeling challenged by Jidwi. Either Jidwi would say something that brought out Sunwoo's anger, or he said something that got Sunwoo acting impulsively. It was honestly a surprise that Sunwoo didn't get into more trouble than he did, thanks to Jidwi.

"He delivered a message to me," Sunwoo said instead of answering the question.

Jidwi nodded. "Ah, that's right."

Sunwoo narrowed his eyes, confused and suspicious. 'That's right'?

"That is, he's delivered messages to me before as well," Jidwi amended, turning away.

That, too, was something Sunwoo had begun to notice about Jidwi. When he felt cornered, or caught in a lie, or fib, he had trouble meeting Sunwoo's gaze. Why would he lie about receiving letters?

"Jidwi-"

"Here come our roommates," Jidwi announced, almost jovially, and headed back down the two steps to meet Yeo Wool, Banryu, Suho, and the tagalong Hansung as they entered the room.

Hansung's eyes lit up upon seeing Sunwoo and he raced to stand at his side. Clutching gently to Sunwoo's right sleeve, he smiled and said, "You're really lucky. Danse is good at a lot of things, especially fighting things. He's also a really good person, so please treat him well!"

Sunwoo tore his gaze from where Jidwi was slipping from the room to look down at the youngest Hwarang. "Mm," he agreed.

Hansung beamed at him.

…

…

"Dog-Bird!"

Though other Hwarang had begun to call him by his old nickname, this was the first time it had passed Jidwi's lips. Sunwoo wasn't sure if he liked it or if it annoyed him.

"Have you gotten any better?" Jidwi asked, referring to Sunwoo's abysmal job at shooting an arrow while riding a horse. "Do you want to challenge me?"

Jidwi was excellent at shooting. Sunwoo had watched him hit the target countless times during practice. His form was strong, his arrows flew smoothly. It was like something from a story Ah Ro would tell, rather than real life. Danse and Suho could match him for skill, sure, but they couldn't match his style.

To face Jidwi would only make Sunwoo feel bulky and uncoordinated.

"No thank you," he said, trying to be respectful but ending up curt.

Jidwi caught his arm before he could walk away. His gaze was stony. "You practiced so hard last time that you were unconscious for four days, yet you head for the field again, unaccompanied. Are you out of your mind?"

The place where Jidwi's fingers wrapped around Sunwoo's wrist was hot. It felt like Jidwi's eyes were seeing through Sunwoo to all of his secrets. Sunwoo felt those eyes like physical fingers against his skin.

He ripped his arm away. "It's none of your business."

Immediately, his arm was caught by Jidwi again. "It is my business."

Sunwoo looked at where Jidwi held his arm. It felt so warm even through layers of clothing. His eyes traveled slowly up to meet Jidwi's and found the other Hwarang looking at him with a kind of intensity Sunwoo wasn't used to. He didn't know what it meant. He didn't know how to respond. It made his chest feel tight, but in a good way. All of Jidwi's concentrated focus was on Sunwoo. It made him feel important.

Clearing his throat, Sunwoo looked away, pulling his arm free from Jidwi's grip once more, but gentler than before. "Fine. You want to race?" He glanced at Jidwi and then away again. "Let's go." And he walked off.

He didn't see the way Jidwi smiled before following.

…

…

That night, Sunwoo lay awake in bed, his gaze turned toward Jidwi's sleeping form. In the dark, he could make out nothing more than the slow rise and fall of Jidwi's breaths and the shape of his back.

The shooting race with Jidwi had been fun. And all that training he'd done, stressing enough that his illness acted up, had paid off. He and Jidwi seemed evenly matched. Not only that, Jidwi had smiled, laughed, while they competed. Sunwoo had found himself smiling almost in spite of himself.

And by the river later, Jidwi had complimented him. Well, insomuch as Jidwi complimented anyone. Then he'd said…

"I think of you as my only friend."

He'd said…

"I like you a lot."

Sunwoo had chastised him and thrown him into the river, and they'd splashed each other and dunked each other and simply played around in the water. It was as exhilarating as any Hwarang practice, but with none of the accompanying stress. Lying beside Jidwi on the riverbank as they dried, Sunwoo had mused that he hadn't simply enjoyed himself like that since Mak Moon had died.

Those were Sunwoo's thoughts again now, lying awake in the dark. He hadn't had a close friend since Mak Moon died. Was it okay that he felt this way about Jidwi? He knew next to nothing about his fellow Hwarang, and yet Sunwoo was already prepared to trust the man with his life. Was that foolish?

"I think," Sunwoo breathed out into the relative silence of the room. "You're my only friend too."

…

…

If Sunwoo were being completely honest, he would say that he'd forgotten about the letters in the face of everything happening with the Hwarang and his growing friendship with Jidwi. So of course the next time he received one was right after his first fight with Jidwi.

Still confused as to why Jidwi was so upset at Sunwoo for losing someone else's bracelet, Sunwoo was surprised when another messenger – not Pa Oh, Jidwi's nando, but someone unrelated to the Hwarang – delivered the letter.

Unlike in shooting a bow and arrow, Sunwoo was out of practice in reading.

"Look…at you and…mmm…my heart f-feels?" Sunwoo sighed at all the words he was skipping. "I wish- I only wish," he corrected, "…maybe something like 'wear'? No." Groaning, he gave up, though there were almost three full lines of text he'd yet to read.

It was frustrating. He recognized several of the symbols now, but trying to make them fit, trying to figure out which form of the word was being used and how it matched up to other words in the sentence? It caused Sunwoo to feel antsy, like he was coming apart at the seams and needed to damage something in order to feel normal again. Since he refused to crumple any of the letters until he knew what they said, Sunwoo instead slipped it under his mattress with the others and headed out to work on his swordsmanship.

…

…

The king is within the Hwarang.

The king is within the Hwarang.

The words from the banner in the courtyard wouldn't leave Sunwoo alone. The man responsible for Mak Moon's death was one of his fellow Hwarang. He'd been in close quarters with Mak Moon's murderer. The idea burned in Sunwoo's gut and made him feel sick.

He'd tried to ask Jidwi for help finding the king, but all one thousand of the words behind Jidwi's eyes begged him No. Sunwoo had hoped that Jidwi, who seemed bitter toward the royal family, would at least help him speculate on who might be the king, but he'd stood silent, looking as frightened as Sunwoo had ever seen him.

Sunwoo had left him standing alone in the courtyard and wandered around as much of Hwarang House as he could without seeming suspicious. His intent was to see which of the Hwarang acted the strangest in his presence, for surely the king would hate that someone else was getting called by his title. But after over an hour strolling the grounds, Sunwoo hadn't come any closer to finding his enemy. Every single Hwarang he saw skittered out of his way and muttered excitedly behind his back. No one seemed angry. No one was glaring at him, except for Banryu but Sunwoo knew he wasn't the king.

As he made his way back to their room, his mind returned to Jidwi. Jidwi never let anyone see him shaken for more than a moment, for longer than it took for him to realize the emotion was showing on his face. Usually the only way to tell he was upset or holding back was by looking at his eyes. Today his worry had been all over his face.

Why? He'd been open with Sunwoo about thinking Sacred Bones were more trouble than they were worth. He'd accosted Princess Sookmyung about the hunting incident. He'd looked like Wihwa had barfed on him again when Suho talked about the queen being the 'woman of all women.' So why was the idea of the king enough to shake him so badly?

"Maybe, hiding?" Sunwoo wondered aloud.

Was Jidwi hiding in plain sight among the Hwarang? Had he done something bad, something against the king or the royal family, and now he was afraid that the king would find him and hand out the consequence?

Well, if so, at least that meant that Jidwi would probably be on Sunwoo's side if it all ended in a fight.

The room was empty when Sunwoo returned. The only sign that a person had been there since they all left for breakfast that morning was the letter sitting on the table in the corner. It was messily folded and without the decorative envelope that most letters came in. It might be a letter that had come for Suho, or for Banryu, or even for Yeo Wool or Jidwi, but Sunwoo wasted no time picking it up.

His name was written on it. His name had never been written on the letters before.

Unfolding the paper revealed yet another wall of characters, and while most of them made his head hurt trying to decipher them, he understood the first sentence perfectly.

'Your friend is dead because of me.'

This was a letter from the king.

The king, whose dragon head bracelet Sunwoo had worn for weeks and weeks, had written this letter. The handwriting was the same as the previous letters. King Jinheung had been writing to Sunwoo for weeks now, he simply didn't know what the messages said.

Did he write to Sunwoo because Sunwoo wore his mark? If Sunwoo had sold the bracelet to Jidwi that time in the showers, would the king have written letters to Jidwi instead? Or did these messages have nothing to do with their previous encounters?

"There are doors people like you must never open. I believe you are standing in front of that door right now."

"I ended up killing this man."

The memories came almost unbidden and Sunwoo frowned. Had his memories always sounded like Jidwi, or was it new since they'd grown closer? Another thought quickly followed. Jidwi had wanted the bracelet. Was that because it was Jidwi's style, as he'd claimed, or because Jidwi was the man from his memories, who he'd taken the bracelet from, who'd murdered Mak Moon?

The letter crinkled in Sunwoo's left hand. His right hand lifted to clutch at the cloth over his heart. It ached. His chest burned unpleasantly and his eyes soon followed.

Was Jidwi…the king?

…

…

Early on in their partnership, Sunwoo and Danse had laid out an idea on what chores Danse should perform and when in the day to do them. They'd come up with a vague schedule for Hwarang duties, weapons practice, and chores, both for Sunwoo and for Danse. Danse was stricter about keeping to the schedule than Sunwoo was, which was great because it meant that Sunwoo knew exactly where Danse was whenever he needed him.

Right now, he was cleaning out the horse stalls.

"I need your help," Sunwoo told him.

They were alone in the stables and it was about as close to a private conversation as they would ever get. Danse put the shovel he was using to pick up horse manure down and gave Sunwoo his full attention.

"What do you need?" he asked. Sunwoo pulled the letters from his robes. All six of them. He held them out and Danse accepted them easily, though his confusion grew. "What are these?"

"I need you to read them to me," Sunwoo told him.

Danse's eyebrows lifted. "Ah," he let out. "That's right. Hansung told me." His lips curled up slightly in a grin but it wasn't a mean expression. "You can't read."

Sunwoo frowned. Danse was proud of his accomplishments but not boastful, like most of the True Bones were. He resented being a half breed but he respected Sunwoo because he believed they were the same. Sunwoo hoped nothing in the letters made Danse lose that respect.

Expression turning curious, Danse held the letters up. "Why do you want me to help you read them?"

That was easy. "I trust you not to tell anyone else what they say."

After a moment of contemplating this confident statement, Danse nodded. Sunwoo was right. He had no reason to share what was in the letters with any of the True Bones or their nandos in Hwarang House.

They took seats on the railing around the horse stalls and Danse picked up the top letter.

"Oh, that one says Thank You," Sunwoo told him before Danse could start to pull it from its envelope.

Danse looked at him for a moment before moving that letter to the bottom of the stack and pulling the next one from its case.

"You have a way with words. It's too bad you can't write them, or even read this letter," Danse read dutifully.

That's what Jidwi had said. He'd watched Sunwoo read that letter and then he'd said, "You have a way with words. It's too bad you can't read or write as well as you speak." He'd known that Sunwoo couldn't read. Was that his way of telling Sunwoo what was written in the letter?

Lips curving up, Danse said, "Sounds like someone is teasing you for lacking in certain skills."

Sunwoo let out a hum that could've been either an agreement or a disagreement. "What does the next one say?"

Voice flat, betraying nothing he felt about the contents of the letter, Danse read, "You have every right to hate me. Your suffering is my fault. I will not pretend that I deserve any forgiveness from you. I owe you a debt that will never be paid. Yet it is also true that I wish this debt did not exist between us. In my dreams we are friends and there are no secrets between us. You know me as deeply as I know you and we are happy. In the short time we have known each other, you have changed me. The way I think, the way I see this kingdom and my place in it, has shifted irrevocably. You have made me a better person. My truest wish now is to somehow repay you, and to earn even a modicum of your friendship in return."

Sunwoo had received that letter after Park Youngshil had approached him about how Mak Moon had seen the king's face, after he'd tried to garner Sunwoo's help in finding the king. The elderly man had rubbed Sunwoo the wrong way from the moment they'd met. Even knowing that Youngshil seemed against the royal family, against the king like Sunwoo was, had not endeared Sunwoo to him.

To think, so soon after meeting with that odious man, the king had written a letter to Sunwoo that all but confessed to the crime. Sunwoo thought that perhaps he should feel vindicated. He was right to hate the king. He was right to want revenge. The letter said so.

And yet…'In my dreams we are friends…and we are happy.'

It certainly sounded like the king knew him and cared about him, and Sunwoo's only friend here at Hwarang House was Jidwi. Also, that letter had been delivered by the man that would become Jidwi's nando. That man was certainly not the twenty-two years he claimed to be, no matter how early in the year he was born. It was likely that he was, instead, the king's bodyguard, or something similar.

"I know it may be hard," the man, Pa Oh, had said, "but if you hurt him, I will never forgive you."

He was definitely talking about the letter's sender, which was the king, and he was fiercely loyal to Jidwi. Everything kept pointing back to Jidwi being the king. Jidwi had killed Mak Moon. Jidwi had written him these letters. Jidwi had become his friend. Jidwi had confessed.

Jidwi always seemed to have a multitude of conversations that he wanted to have but held back on. The letters seemed to be how he was finally letting some of them out.

Clearing his throat, Sunwoo said, "I already know what the next one says. You can skip it too."

"Who's been sending you these letters?" Danse asked instead of unfolding the next missive.

Sunwoo watched his horse munch on hay nearby.

"I like you a lot."

"Someone I thought was a friend."

Giving Sunwoo an incredulous glance, Danse pulled out the next letter. He read, "Looking at you and seeing you wear my mark made my heart feel full. I only wished you wore it for better reasons. You no longer wear it and I find my heart full of bitter anger. It feels like you have cast me aside." Danse cleared his throat. "You are certain this is a friend?"

Sunwoo nodded. "Why?"

Danse frowned. "This letter says you wore their mark. You let them claim you as their own."

"That's not what it was!" Sunwoo shouted, his face as hot as fire.

He hadn't worn the king's bracelet because he liked the guy! He'd worn it to remember his decision to get revenge for Mak Moon's death! The letter even said he didn't wear it for good reasons!

It was then that Sunwoo caught the gleam in Danse's eyes and the smirk on his lips. "You're teasing me."

"Yes."

Sunwoo shoved his shoulder, but not hard enough to knock him from his perch on the railing. "Mind your own business and read the last letter."

Even as he put that letter away and pulled out the next, Danse muttered, "Mind my own business while I read yours aloud. You are certainly something."

Just then, one of the other nandos entered the stables. Sunwoo reached for the letter but Danse was already re-folding it and slipping it back into the envelope, so the motion just ended with Sunwoo falling against Danse's side. Danse shoved him off and Sunwoo had to catch the railing or risk the embarrassment of falling.

The nando, Sunwoo thought his name was something like Ha Noh but he wasn't sure, gave them a curious look.

Danse nodded. "Afternoon."

Ha Noh, or Han Na, or Hoh Na, whatever his name was, nodded back. "You two seem close."

He actually seemed jealous. Danse just watched him as Han Noh went into the last stall and picked up the set of worker's gloves on the railing there. Then they nodded to each other again as Ha Non left.

Sunwoo waited until the nando had been gone for over a minute before turning his attention back to Danse, who took that as a cue to pull out the letter again.

"Why not learn to read on your own?" Danse asked, his tone short and his cheeks vaguely pink. He was embarrassed.

Sunwoo crossed his arms. "I am, but not fast enough. I need to know what these say now."

Danse didn't say or do anything in response to that. He didn't nod or grin or even give Sunwoo an odd look for his out of the ordinary mindset and upbringing. All he did was unfold the letter.

"Your friend is dead because of me."

Danse stopped reading at the same moment that Sunwoo found it suddenly hard to breathe.

"Who died?" Danse asked, his voice quieter than ever.

Sunwoo shook his head. He'd already read that much of the letter on his own, but somehow hearing it aloud felt like a second punch to the stomach. That was the line that proved the king was writing these letters. That was the line that started Sunwoo believing Jidwi was probably the king. Mak Moon was dead, and now Sunwoo's revenge might be aimed at the only other friend he had.

After several moments of silence, Danse understood that no answer was forthcoming and turned back to the letter. He cleared his throat.

"Your friend is dead and it is my fault." The confession must've shaken Danse as well, because his voice fluctuated with slight emotion as he read. "I cannot open my mouth and say these words to you. A coward has no way of repenting his sins. You cannot even read this confession."

Two confessions in a row. The king knew Sunwoo could not read and only confessed because he thought Sunwoo wouldn't know what he said.

"How many ways can one say they are sorry? I'm sorry. My heart breaks with guilt. My deepest apologies. I'm sorry. What would heal the wound in your heart? Should I offer you my own heart straight from my chest? I don't know how to fix this. We are both broken open by this tragedy, with no possible recovery."

Silence hung between them for a long while once the reading was over. Danse carefully folded the letter and put it back in its envelope, stacking it with the others, but did not hand them back. Sunwoo's mind was racing as fast as his heartbeat.

Mak Moon was dead. The king killed him. The king was in Hwarang, and risked discovery by writing to Sunwoo about things like 'wearing his mark' and leaving those letters out where anyone could find them. The letters were usually left on his bed, so the king knew where Sunwoo slept. Pa Oh, Jidwi's nando, worked for the king, and had requested Jidwi as his master. Jidwi was a mysterious person, hiding most information about himself behind a mask of indifference. Jidwi was probably, most likely, the king.

The king killed Mak Moon. Jidwi killed Mak Moon.

"Will you take revenge for the one who died?" Danse asked.

Looking at Danse's face, Sunwoo knew that Danse had not forgotten how Sunwoo called the sender of the letters a friend.

Jidwi, whose eyes always seemed to want to say a thousand things that would never pass his lips, who said he had a great secret, who teased Sunwoo and comforted him and trained with him. Who was probably, most likely, the king. Could he kill Jidwi?

"I don't-," Sunwoo started. He shook his head. "I honestly can't say what I'll do."

…

…

Shortly after this conversation, the Hwarang were given a challenge. They would fight each other to the death, or at least close to it. In preparation of this, they were shoved into training at any free moment; harder, rougher, more dangerous every day. There was barely any chance for them to breathe, let alone have conversations or pursue theories for revenge.

Leave it to Jidwi to find a way to multitask.

"You look like a dog that needs to poop."

Sunwoo came out of his thoughts of swords, fighting, the king, Jidwi, Jidwi's secrets, Jidwi's little smiles, and the letters with a blink. "What?"

He was actually surprised to learn that Jidwi was truly standing next to him in that moment. He'd thought it was all in his head.

"A dog that needs to poop," Jidwi repeated, his lips curving up. "What's this? You were frozen all day but respond when I mention poop." He huffed a laugh. "Do you like poop because you are Dog-Bird?"

That brought up an unwanted memory, of being a child, a young teen, and having members of his village asking him the same question. So though Jidwi was just teasing, though Sunwoo knew he didn't mean to be mean, Sunwoo frowned. "That's enough."

Jidwi nodded and started walking away. Almost immediately, however, he started to sing. "Dog-Bird likes p-"

Sunwoo jolted forward, grabbing at Jidwi desperately to stop his loud lyrics. "Hey, stop it-"

Dodging, Jidwi sang louder, "He likes poop!"

The grinning, happy face of Jidwi as he teasingly sung about poop made Sunwoo laugh against his better judgment. For a moment, he forgot who Jidwi was, what Jidwi had done, and enjoyed his presence, as he'd done by the river side, as they'd done most times when they were alone since then. Jidwi was simply his friend, running and dodging Sunwoo's arms while laughing and teasing him with lyrics that made less and less sense with the situation the longer it went on.

Somehow, the ache in Sunwoo's chest hurt less when he remembered everything later.

…

…

The fights began with Park Banryu fighting Kim Suho. And while Banryu was injured fighting Suho, they couldn't, wouldn't, hurt each other enough to satisfy the officials watching the match.

Park Youngshil suggested Sunwoo fight his personal guard. Suho, Banryu, and Jidwi, and even Yeo Wool to a degree, expressed shock and dismay or tried to stop the fight, but Sunwoo knew he'd have to fight regardless of what they did, so he had them stand down and accepted the match.

It was hard. The guard was much more skilled than him. He was struck multiple times and the wounds screamed at him. But in the end, with a little luck, a reprieve from the queen, and the element of surprise, Sunwoo actually won the match, even though his opponent left without Sunwoo drawing a drop of his blood.

His wounds ached and bled but Sunwoo didn't go see Ah Ro to have them bandaged. Despite the pain, what annoyed Sunwoo the most about that match had been how the queen had saved his life. The queen who made the order to kill anyone who saw the king's face. The queen whose commandant wielded the blade that struck Mak Moon down. The queen who was, even now, toying with the lives of Ah Ro, her father, and Sunwoo himself.

Sunwoo was leaning on a railing for support and silently grumbling to himself about these facts when he saw Jidwi approaching. Like lightning, he remembered all of his previous thoughts regarding Jidwi. The queen was gone from his mind, replaced by the man who was almost certainly her son. His grip tightened on the sword he still held.

Coming to a stop at a respectable distance, Jidwi quietly asked, "Are you alright?"

"Were you worried?" Sunwoo asked.

Without a moment's hesitation, Jidwi said, "That's right."

Sunwoo couldn't help but laugh, once, bitterly. Jidwi was the king. Jidwi was the reason for innumerable deaths and he'd not even taken the throne yet. True, he'd said Sunwoo was his only friend, but Sunwoo had not acted like a friend since the idea that Jidwi was king had first entered his head.

His voice matching his bitter laugh, Sunwoo asked, "Why would you be?"

That actually seemed to catch Jidwi off guard. He hadn't expected to need to defend himself. Friends probably didn't do that. It took him a moment to collect himself and respond. "Well, naturally, that's because-"

"Is it you? Are you the king?" Sunwoo interrupted, his tone as cold and hard as the stone of Hwarang House at midnight in winter.

Jidwi went silent. Those eyes of a thousand words met Sunwoo's. They were easier for Sunwoo to read than the letters he'd been receiving, but still mostly indecipherable.

"Well?" Sunwoo prompted at Jidwi's continued silence.

Why was he asking again? That silence was answer enough. If Jidwi wasn't the king, he would've already said so. But if Jidwi never said yes, then Sunwoo never had to fully accept it as the truth.

Just as Jidwi opened his mouth to respond, Sunwoo's heart gave a lurch and he hurried to speak over him. "Have you been sending me letters?"

Again Jidwi seemed wrong-footed, shocked into silence for a moment. He shifted his feet. "You can't read."

Sunwoo turned and slammed the edge of his blade into the wooden railing so hard that, when he let go of the hilt, the sword remained embedded there. Jidwi took a half step back, his eyes flashing from weapon to wielder again and again. He was actually afraid of Sunwoo. The realization brought a mixture of pleasure and sickness to Sunwoo's gut.

"That doesn't answer the question," Sunwoo growled out. "Have you been sending me letters." It wasn't even a question anymore.

Jidwi met Sunwoo's eyes again and held them. Sunwoo watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, slow and deep, before Jidwi spoke. "Yes."

"Knowing I couldn't read them."

A short nod. "Yes."

"Why?"

It was clearly difficult for Jidwi to hold Sunwoo's gaze during this interrogation. His body shivered minutely and his head gave a jerk as if he'd aborted turning away, but he maintained eye contact.

"Because I have things I need to say to you, but I can't yet," Jidwi admitted.

Sunwoo scoffed. "Then you shouldn't have sent the letters."

Without waiting for any further answer, Sunwoo stormed off, leaving his sword in the railing.

…

…

A letter was waiting for Sunwoo when he woke up the next morning. It lay on his bed, next to his pillow, and must've been placed there sometime during the night.

Jidwi was lying in bed, facing the door instead of the wall for once, so Sunwoo could see his sleeping face. Sunwoo frowned at him, picked up the letter in its envelope, and ripped it in half. Jidwi flinched, giving away that he wasn't sleeping at all. Though Sunwoo felt a flash of regret for tearing the missive, the bitter burning in his gut quickly overran it.

He tossed the scraps in the trash.

…

…

Another letter graced his pillow the next morning as well. This time Jidwi was already up and dressing, though too slowly for anyone who knew him to mistake it for anything but stalling.

Sunwoo crumpled it and left it in a ball on the floor.

He ignored Jidwi, and the way Jidwi watched him, as he quickly dressed and left for breakfast.

…

…

On the third morning, there was a third letter. This time, however, Jidwi was nowhere to be seen. This time, Sunwoo sat on his bed and stared at the envelope.

Jidwi had admitted to sending the letters. The letters admitted to killing Mak Moon. The king was the reason for Mak Moon's death. Jidwi was the king. These were all undeniable facts.

Knowing all of that, hearing Jidwi admit to it, hurt like the worst betrayal. Sunwoo felt like something inside of him was smoldering, filling him with dark soot and ash.

The letters had been very expressive. They'd been about regrets and hopes. They were full of Jidwi's feelings. They were the feelings of a man who admitted to being too frightened to speak up, but who felt compelled to come clean and repent, who wanted to make up for his wrongs and dreamed of a better life with Sunwoo.

Whenever Sunwoo thought about that, though, his heart beat so hard and so loud that he worried others could hear it.

He slid the letter under his mattress with the others. He couldn't read it, not now, maybe not ever, but he would no longer destroy them. Destroying them felt like crushing Jidwi's voice and he couldn't bring himself to do that anymore.

…

…

"I prefer being your friend over being the king." Jidwi gazed upon Sunwoo with the most open, earnest expression Sunwoo have ever seen on a person, even Ah Ro. "I mean it. No matter who you think I am."

"You don't know what a friend is since you've never had one," Sunwoo snapped, shaking Jidwi slightly by where he held the front of his robes. Jidwi had stopped him outside the training yard today.

The words were too harsh, even to Sunwoo's own ears, but he couldn't help it. Every time he saw Jidwi, he ached and it made him lash out. It put Jidwi in danger, because at any moment Sunwoo might give in to his desire for revenge and put a sword through Jidwi's stomach or choke the life out of him or beat him bloody until he stopped breathing. That frightened Sunwoo. It horrified him to imagine doing such a thing to Jidwi.

"Do not touch me until I become more sure of you," Sunwoo warned, releasing Jidwi and walking quickly away.

Jidwi was his…his friend. The word felt wrong, even in his head. Jidwi wasn't his friend. Jidwi wasn't his enemy. Or maybe he was. Sunwoo didn't know. All of this indecision frightened Sunwoo even more. He'd never felt so conflicted in his life.

…

…

Princess Sookmyung announced that she, her personal handmaiden, and her personal physician, Ah Ro, would be traveling to the neighboring kingdom of Baekje to settle a dispute. The prince of Baekje kept attacking Silla farmers if they so much as put a toe over the border. The prince was at fault and everyone knew it, but Baekje had a stronger army than Silla and so a mission of amity would be sent instead of declaring war. Sunwoo hated the plan but could see the purpose, and he'd been happy to let the royals play their game of chess right up until Ah Ro was dragged into it.

All of his protective instincts jumped up and his hand flew into the air to volunteer as a Hwarang guard. Ah Ro looked upset at this decision, but in the middle of a room of warriors she couldn't verbally tell him off, which was good because Sunwoo was no good at standing up to Ah Ro's ferocity. Maybe Mak Moon, her real brother, would've done better.

No matter. Sunwoo would put up with Ah Ro's disapproval if it meant he could escape from Jidwi for awhile. He needed time to sort himself out. He needed space from the king.

Suho and Banryu quickly joined him in volunteering, and Jidwi was right behind them. Sunwoo cringed.

So much for space.

…

…

They lost all of their supplies to peasant robbers, desperate for something to fill their stomachs. Though they had lost all that they once carried, including the amity gifts, food, and spare clothes, the princess insisted they continue on. There was no time to go back and retrieve more supplies if they were to avoid a war.

It seemed that, without discussion, Sunwoo became the leader of their party. He hadn't meant for that to happen, but they had a lot of problems that needed fixing and someone had to make sure they were all fixed. He just happened to be the one to take initiative.

It probably helped that, ever since the king's mark had appeared in the Hwarang House courtyard, all the other Hwarang thought he was the king. Well, except for the actual king.

That night, Banryu and Suho gathered wood, Ah Ro found them food, and Sunwoo and Jidwi kept first watch. They sat apart from the rest of the group, perched around a warm fire, eyes on their surroundings in case of Baekje attack. Neither man spoke for over an hour.

"You find it difficult to look at me."

The lighthearted conversations of Ah Ro, the guards, and the princess' handmaiden filtered over to them, but the mood around the two Hwarang was somber.

Sunwoo let out a breath. "Why write to me?" he asked instead of answering Jidwi's question. "If you wanted to write to someone who couldn't write back, you should've just used a journal."

Jidwi turned his eyes upon the fire. It was several moments before his voice rose above the crackling of the flames. "I am not as strong as I wish I was," he said, and though his voice was quiet it was firm. "I have never felt this way about anyone before, and so I wanted to say everything, desperately. When I could not, letters, though a coward's escape, were my answer."

For a long while they sat in silence, listening to the group chatter and watching the woods for enemies. The fire sparked. One of the guards laughed. Suho was snoring, and the sound carried in the still air.

Sunwoo shifted, releasing his clasped hands so that his knees fell further open, accidentally mimicking Jidwi's position. He sighed, and the sound breaking their silence gave him the courage to keep speaking. "I don't know how to handle this," he admitted. "Who you are, what you are, what we are. I've never been so…conflicted."

"Make a decision, about something you believe in with all your heart, and work toward it." Jidwi was staring straight ahead when he spoke, but once he had Sunwoo's attention he turned his head. "That's what you told me. That's how you said a person could make their own path." His lips lifted slightly at the corners, though it was not a necessarily happy expression. "It is what I aimed to do."

It felt a bit like Sunwoo had been slapped. Jidwi had been using Sunwoo's words to guide him? He'd heard what Sunwoo said about what a king should do, and how to do that, and had…written letters to Sunwoo? He'd made a decision and worked toward it, and that decision resulted in those letters? The path that Jidwi wanted to make was a path with Sunwoo? Was that what Jidwi was saying? The path he'd chosen, that he believed in with all his heart, was Sunwoo?

He meant it when he said he would rather be Sunwoo's friend than the king?

"Why?" Sunwoo asked again. He felt like a child, clueless, ignorant, and begging to understand.

"I told you. I am desperate."

Sunwoo had no response to that.

…

…

"If the king is among you, step forward and admit to being the king," the prince of Baekje demanded calmly over the crying of the Silla prisoners he was using as bait. "If you do not, we will cut off a head every fifteen minutes to send back to Silla."

Due to a misunderstanding, or perhaps simply because the prince liked to toy with them, Ah Ro was one of the prisoners. She wasn't in the group currently positioned in front of the gathered Hwarang, awaiting either Jidwi's admission or the enemy's blade, but she was still in danger. If something didn't change, Sunwoo was about to fail as her protector, as he'd promised both Mak Moon and his father, and Ah Ro herself. But if the king really did step forward, there was a good chance this prince, bent on war and violence, would kill him, leaving Silla without an heir and ripe for the taking.

Suho and Banryu took brief moments to glance at Sunwoo, but Sunwoo pointedly kept his eyes forward. He refused to look at Jidwi. Unlike the others, he would not give this man what he wanted. Glancing around, showing worry, only fed into his twisted plans.

Then the guards slashed down, killing the prisoners lined up in one swift movement. All four Hwarang flinched as they were splattered with the blood. Sunwoo's chest seized up, making it hard to breathe, and he feared he was about to faint in the middle of the prince's courtyard, right on top of the bodies of the deceased.

"Oh my," the prince said, with concern so false it could rust metal, "It has not been fifteen minutes yet. Were we too quick?"

He made Sunwoo sick. In fact, he was worse than Queen Jiso. This was doing nothing to prove to Sunwoo that royalty could be trusted.

The next set of prisoners was brought before the Hwarang and this time Ah Ro was one of them, kneeling directly in front of Sunwoo. If breathing had been hard before, it was now nearly impossible.

"Now I shall give you eight minutes," the prince said, acting magnanimous.

Sunwoo flicked his eyes from Ah Ro to the prince and back, over and over, trying to think. Trying to focus. If fifteen minutes had amounted to about one actual minute, then eight minutes was a matter of seconds. If Jidwi didn't step forward, and fast, Ah Ro was going to die.

Wait.

If Jidwi marked himself as the king, this bloodthirsty prince might have him killed. Jidwi was the only male heir to the throne of Silla. Jidwi couldn't step forward, even if he wanted to. Sunwoo now forced himself not to glance over at Jidwi.

Would Jidwi reveal himself?

No. He couldn't. Just like Sunwoo could not stand by and watch as Ah Ro was killed, he also could not watch as Jidwi took her place. They were too important. Ah Ro was Mak Moon's beloved sister, and had become dear to Sunwoo as well in his place. She was a doctor too, healing the Hwarang almost daily. Jidwi was the king, and, the realization rang as clear as a temple bell straight through Sunwoo's heart, he was also Sunwoo's dearest companion.

Sunwoo was no one. Sunwoo wasn't even his real name. He didn't have a name. He was living a borrowed life on borrowed time. His only purpose in life was to protect. To protect Ah Ro and, now he knew, to protect Jidwi as well.

A hitch of movement to Sunwoo's left had his heart skyrocketing and he shouted out before Jidwi could complete the step forward. "I am!"

All eyes turned on him, from the prisoners to the guards to the Hwarang to the prince himself.

"…the king," Sunwoo clarified, his voice wavering.

There was a good chance he was about to die. An arrow might pierce his heart at any moment. But this could spare Ah Ro. This could spare Jidwi. Then Silla would still have a king. Silla would have a future in Jidwi, the king who disparaged about himself, who apologized earnestly, who felt guilt shamelessly and worked to correct his mistakes. That was a better future than the queen promised, and Sunwoo was content to give his life for it, if not happy.

He strode out of line, around the prisoners, until he stood alone in the middle of the courtyard facing this arrogant Sacred Bone who dared call himself a ruler.

"I am the king of Silla!" he shouted, as fiercely as he could, doing his best to come across as defiant and proud, rather than desperate.

A cruel, satisfied grin crawled across the prince's face and Sunwoo clenched his fists so he would not shake.

…

…

No one else died in the courtyard that day. Instead, the Hwarang and the Silla peasants were put back in jail while the prince had a private discussion with Sunwoo about how to proceed. Sunwoo acted as noble as he could, letting his ire for this man's behavior shine through in righteous challenge and sharp barbs at the man's person.

Here was the truth of the matter.

Sunwoo had been angry at Jidwi, unable to even think about him without the warring emotions of rage and sorrow battling for control of his heart. He'd felt betrayed, he realized. Jidwi had kept this secret from him, even as he spilled others into his letters. How could Jidwi be the man Sunwoo had vowed revenge against? How? How could his new best friend be responsible for the death of his old one?

Except Jidwi hadn't killed Mak Moon. He'd taken the blame for a law created and carried out by the will of his mother.

Hadn't Jidwi said it himself? Sacred Bones were more trouble than they were worth. The king was a coward, incompetent and stupid. He couldn't protect his subjects. Jidwi was always taking the blame, inviting others to hate him and what he stood for, because it was a way of atoning for his perceived sins.

The truth was that Queen Jiso and her commandant had killed Mak Moon. It had been on the queen's orders. It was the commandant's blade that pierced Mak Moon's flesh. They were the killers, the murderers. Yet somehow they'd gotten Sunwoo and Jidwi to shoulder the guilt.

This man, this prince of Baekje, was no ruler of Sunwoo's. He was likely to die regardless, so he felt no compunctions about lashing out. First, he lashed with his tongue. Then, he challenged the prince to a lashing by the sword.

Here, in Baekje, Sunwoo could release the pent up resentment he held against royals for Mak Moon's death without worrying it was treason.

…

…

The night was dark and still around them. Suho and Banryu had long since drifted off, even full of worry as they were. Jidwi had not moved or spoken since they were shoved into the cell hours ago, even before Sunwoo met with the prince. Sunwoo let his eyes drift between Jidwi's profile, despondent and lost, and a blank point on the wall while he thought.

He was considering tactics for the fight. All his life he'd been a melee fighter, no weapons. He was strong enough to keep away bandits and ruffians in the village. Would that be enough against this prince? The Hwarang had trained Sunwoo to use a sword, but he was no master of the blade. He would simply need to move faster than Prince Chang, strike first, strike hard.

As time wore on, he wondered how Ah Ro and the other prisoners were doing. He wondered if Jidwi had eaten the meager dinner they'd been given. He worried Jidwi would do something to reveal himself before the duel tomorrow and get himself killed.

"It will be pointless."

Sunwoo flipped his attention fully on Jidwi. The words were quiet, a breath in the dark, so as not to wake the others or draw attention from the guards.

"He was raised in war. It is a game to him to take lives," Jidwi continued bitterly.

Watching the way Jidwi's throat moved when he swallowed, and his lips as he let out a heavy breath, Sunwoo said, "I will win because I have something to protect."

Jidwi's eyes moved to the side, almost as if he would turn and look at Sunwoo as he usually did, but no. He remained facing forward, and soon his eyes drifted away again as well. His lips curled up at the edges, but it was a forlorn expression. "Are you talking about your sister?" His voice came out sounding hopeless, and Sunwoo clenched his hands where they rested against his legs.

"Yes," he admitted. Jidwi huffed out an unhappy sound, and it made Sunwoo think Jidwi was berating himself. "And the people who are starving and shivering in fear due to their worthless country. You call them 'subjects'."

That got Jidwi to look at him, his gaze intense. Good. Sunwoo needed Jidwi to come back to himself. He didn't recognize this dejected figure. If Jidwi lost himself in this tragedy, Sunwoo would have failed as badly as if he'd told Prince Chang who the king really was.

More than Sunwoo, Jidwi had to come back to himself for his subjects. The country needed him too. Jidwi needed to remember that he was responsible for the lives of every person living in Silla, that they were important, that no one deserved the things Prince Chang was doing to these people.

There was no point in risking his life to protect a king who forgot that.

When Sunwoo had been packing for this trip, he'd considered bringing Jidwi's latest letter with him. He'd wanted to finally read it, puzzle out its meaning, and return to Silla with whatever message Jidwi had tried to send him. In the end he'd left it under his mattress with the others. Now he regretted that decision. He wanted to carry a piece of Jidwi into battle, like a protection amulet, a sign of good luck, or just the physical sense that Jidwi was on his side in this fight.

Sunwoo fell asleep with these thoughts and woke up to find Jidwi still sitting in the same spot, still staring ahead, the blood of the prisoners still on his hands. He was still fighting a battle within his own mind, within his own heart.

Perhaps one of the letters would've helped Jidwi right now as well.

It wasn't long before the duel would begin. Suho tried to give him advice, tried to make his king rescind the challenge, but Sunwoo refused. This was to protect everyone from Silla currently held prisoner by the prince. He could not, would not, back down.

"Don't die."

They were the first words Jidwi had said all day, and Sunwoo took a moment to process them, accept them, and put them away for safe keeping before he marched out of the cell toward the enemy.

…

…

Sunwoo won. He beat the prince bloody, until he could not stand on his own. It wasn't an easy battle. He'd been sliced multiple times by the sword and received many hard blows from the prince's fists, but his will overpowered Chang's. And with every blow to the prince's face, Sunwoo felt that Mak Moon could rest easier.

Even beaten, the prince caused problems. The prisoners, including Ah Ro, were to be killed, while the Hwarang and princess were allowed to leave. Jidwi immediately offered to help Sunwoo save the subjects of Silla, and partway through the rescue attempt, Suho and Banryu appeared to help as well. Together, they brought every prisoner out of Baekje and back onto Silla land.

And still the prince persisted. He hunted them like animals. He killed several peasants with arrows. He challenged Sunwoo to a war. Suho took an arrow to the back to protect Sunwoo, still thinking he was the king.

If it weren't for Lord Wihwa and the Hwarang showing up, none of them would've made it home alive.

Hwarang House became a temporary hospital and inn for the rescued peasants. Doctor Ahnji came and helped Ah Ro care for the sick and injured. Hwarang doubled up in their rooms so there would be open beds for the refugees. Classes were officially cancelled for the time being.

It wasn't until late that Sunwoo found himself alone with a moment to breathe, without peasants and Hwarang alike congratulating their king on the rescue or thanking him for saving them or apologizing for calling him 'Dog-Bird.'

He began to untie the belt of his red Hwarang robes, and his arm felt stiff. He stumbled on the way to put his robes into the laundry basket. The red of his robes was darker than it should be, he noted, but couldn't fathom why. Sunwoo ached all over and his head was beginning to get fuzzy, similar to whenever he randomly fainted, but slower. He should lie down.

Turning to his bed, Sunwoo noticed that, even though the day had been their most hectic yet, Jidwi had apparently found time to leave him a new letter. His lips curled up, pleased, and he stepped towards the mattress.

He never reached it.

…

…

The medical room was quiet when Sunwoo awoke, tucked into the one available bed and feeling very sore. Sunwoo turned his head and surveyed the room, while trying to remember how he ended up there.

There were medical supplies laid out on the table, as if Ah Ro had left in the middle of patching someone up. That person might have been Sunwoo, with how his body hurt, but it could've been any of the injured refugees they'd brought back with them as well. Doctor Ahnji was meant to be there as well, Sunwoo remembered, but neither doctor was present.

If Sunwoo had fainted, or been injured – in fact, if he was in the medical room for any reason that he couldn't remember – then there was no way that he would be left alone. Especially not after claiming to be king, unless Jidwi had cleared things up while Sunwoo was insensate.

Speaking of, that was when Sunwoo spotted Jidwi. He wasn't facing Sunwoo, but was instead aimlessly rearranging items on a table in the far corner by the door. His back was slightly bowed, as if he had done a hard day's work and was very tired but unwilling to show it.

He was back in his blue, purple, and white Hwarang robes, but his hair was hanging loose about his face the way Sunwoo had taken to wearing his. Sunwoo had never seen him without at least some of his hair pulled back. Jidwi looked unkempt, as if he had so much to worry about that physical appearances no longer mattered. Sunwoo hadn't thought such a thing was possible for a True Bone, let alone a Sacred Bone.

If not for the rich fabrics of his clothing, this was a Jidwi that Sunwoo might have met back in his home village.

As if able to sense Sunwoo's gaze, Jidwi looked up from the far table and, slowly, trailed his eyes over to the bed. His eyes widened minutely, and then he said, "You're awake." His voice was quiet even in the quiet room, as if there were someone else he was trying not to awaken.

Sunwoo gave a short nod but did not speak. He wanted Jidwi to explain what was going on, but the profile Jidwi was presenting, this rather common appearance, had taken his voice.

Jidwi crossed his arms over his chest as he turned to fully face Sunwoo. "I had the doctor send everyone away," he said. "Now that you've claimed the kingship, everyone wanted to hover around you." He was clearly trying for a teasing tone, but a tinge of bitterness ruined it.

"Including you?" Sunwoo asked.

Jidwi let out a sound that was half scoff and half laugh, his lips quirking up as he briefly glanced away. "Of course. I'm the head of all hoverers." Then he frowned. "But really, if your wounds from the duel reopened, you should've had your sister take care of them immediately instead of trying to play the martyr."

Sunwoo's lips pulled down. "I didn't know."

"Aisch," Jidwi let out, uncrossing his arms to place his hands on his hips in a disapproving way. "How do you not notice you're bleeding, exactly?"

It was hard to shrug while lying down, but Sunwoo did his best. His shoulder gave a deep twinge at the motion but no real pain, which meant either he'd been unconscious for awhile or Ah Ro had given him good medicine. Or maybe the doctor had.

"There were more important things to notice," he said.

They'd been escaping, freeing prisoners, running for their lives. He had to act like a king and face down a prince who wanted war. They had to lead people home, to safety. The injured and sick had needed to get to the doctors. Everyone wanted his opinion on what to do now that he was known as the king. There had been so many questions, so many compliments, so many nosey people, that he hadn't had time to think.

The hands dropped from Jidwi's hips and he slid his hands into his sleeves as easily as he slid his gaze away and to one of the closed windows of the room, away from Sunwoo. While Jidwi's face said he was thinking deeply about something and felt conflicted about it, Sunwoo's mind was blissfully blank. He wasn't wondering about Jidwi as the king, or the enemy, or a friend. He wasn't worrying about his wounds or the refugees or Ah Ro. He wasn't anxious about the queen's plans or assassins or what would happen because he claimed the king's identity. Sunwoo had not felt this calm since he was a teenager, lying on a riverbank with Mak Moon and making jokes about their lives.

His eyes were upon Jidwi and Sunwoo was content to watch him think.

After several long moments, Sunwoo wasn't keeping track, Jidwi broke the silence with a quiet but firm declaration. "I think you would make a good king." Once more he met Sunwoo's eyes, that same subtle but firm aura in his expression as in his voice. "A better king than the one it has. A king Silla deserves."

There he went again, always degrading the king.

Sunwoo spoke before he'd even thought about the words. "The one it has could be good too, if he only had some courage."

Jidwi's expression said he honestly did not know how to process that assertion.

…

…

The situation between Jidwi and Sunwoo was strange after that day. Sunwoo didn't see Jidwi in the medical room again, though he did receive visits from Suho, Yeo Wool, and Hansung, and of course Ah Ro, who tended to him as if he were still on the brink of death. A letter was on the bed next to him when he woke up though. Every time.

Sometimes they were short, only a sentence. Others – the usual – the symbols spread from edge to edge, filling the page. Sunwoo couldn't understand half of what it said, but the symbols he did recognize told him that Jidwi was writing about…flowers. The sun. Smiling. A river. Silla. Probably something about being the king, or maybe Sunwoo as king, or just kings in general. Robes and clothing. The Hwarang. Apologies. A dream. And there was a group of symbols, a sentence, that kept showing up in every letter. Sunwoo hadn't learned that grouping and couldn't read it at all, but since it kept coming up he figured it was important.

He scoffed. "I've gotten worse," he cursed himself, folding up the newest letter.

When he was allowed to leave the medical room, Sunwoo asked Ah Ro for a favor.

"What do you need?" Ah Ro asked.

Sunwoo took a deep breath. "I need to start reading again."

They had their first new lesson that same evening.

Back in lessons, the other Hwarang gave Sunwoo a wide berth, sitting at least five feet away from him, except for the odd moment when someone would slide up to him to give a compliment and then scurry away. Really, Sunwoo had thought the Hwarang had more courage than that.

Jidwi sat almost as far from Sunwoo as he could. A pang of that familiar frustration hit Sunwoo when he noticed, and he grew angry. But then he wondered why he was angry. Jidwi had not sat beside him in a long time. Certainly never that far away, either, but not at his side. But Jidwi would not even glance in his direction and Sunwoo felt summarily dismissed from his life. It hurt, Sundwoo realized. He was hurt by Jidwi's distance.

Well that was new.

…

…

Two days, and six effusive letters later, Sunwoo was allowed to participate in weapons training again. Before claiming he was the king, Wihwa probably would've let him return on the same day he woke up. Now, he had to take care of the king or risk the wrath of those who felt he was playing with the kingdom's future.

Though his wounds pulled slightly, Sunwoo found no difficulty in sparring with the training dummies. His form was as good as it ever was – not perfect, but not bad by any means. He was just a little slower than usual at the moment.

Just when Sunwoo thought he would go mad from boredom, Jidwi approached him, though he stayed out of reach of Sunwoo's sword. Sunwoo stopped practicing and faced him. Regardless of how many letters Jidwi left him, with however many words, it did not replace speaking to each other. Sunwoo was surprised to find he craved Jidwi's voice.

"Think you're ready for a real opponent?" Jidwi asked.

"Yes," Sunwoo accepted, embarrassed to hear the gasp in his voice.

Jidwi, likely thinking it was from working so long with the dummy, politely ignored it. They moved to the sparring yard, where several other pairs of Hwarang were already locked in combat, and took up a free corner. It was possible that the others stopped to watch them, but Sunwoo forgot about everyone else in the yard as soon as he and Jidwi readied their weapons.

Sunwoo darted forward first, and their swords met for an instant before Jidwi knocked him back. Then Jidwi used the advantage and struck out at Sunwoo, who parried. They went back and forth like that, almost as if taking turns, for awhile. Sunwoo knew that Jidwi was better with a sword than him, that he should've been disarmed by now. However it didn't feel like he was taking it easy on Sunwoo. He wasn't fighting this way on account of Sunwoo's injuries or because he felt guilty for some perceived wrong. No, what this felt like was...seeking. Jidwi was testing the waters. He was reading Sunwoo's movements the same way Sunwoo was reading his, trying to figure out where they stood now. How had things changed between them, how were they the same, and were they to be friends or enemies going forward?

Sunwoo wished he knew the answers.

The injuries from Prince Chang did weaken Sunwoo, and soon he found himself sweating and tired while Jidwi looked only winded and a little pink in the cheeks. If something didn't change, Sunwoo was going to lose this duel, practice though it may be.

"You've been sending more letters than ever," Sunwoo quipped, hoping to distract his opponent. Jidwi caught Sunwoo's next attack with as much ease as ever, and met Sunwoo's eyes across their blades. Without words he asked what Sunwoo's point was. "What would you do….if I ever learned what they said?"

Jidwi looked uncomfortable and pushed Sunwoo away again. "Let me remind you, learning to read is more difficult than you might think," he said, and now Sunwoo was certain that the pink on his cheeks was not entirely from their fight.

Intriguing. Now Sunwoo really wanted to know what Jidwi kept sending him.

"Let me remind you," Sunwoo began, "both Ah Ro and Danse can read already." And then he attacked.

Jidwi's eyes were wide, almost panicked, in the moment before Sunwoo's sword met his. His grip was weak in shock and he lost his sword to the dirt as easily as a child in their first practice. Sunwoo turned his blade from where it had disarmed Jidwi and stopped a hair's breath away from Jidwi's neck.

Sunwoo smirked. "I win."

Jidwi stared at him. His eyes calmed from their panicked state into something more impassive, more typical for Jidwi's face. After both of their breaths had calmed somewhat, he said, "That was rather dirty for you." He didn't sound disapproving, simply making a note.

Sunwoo would've replied, but then Bu-Jae, the assistant head of Hwarang, entered the courtyard. "Kim Jidwi, Kim Sunwoo, follow me," he said.

This time Sunwoo knew the eyes of all the other Hwarang followed them as they left.

…

…

Suho, Banryu, Jidwi, and Sunwoo were taken to see the queen, but only Sunwoo actually got an audience with her. Supposedly she wanted to thank them for protecting the princess and Silla, but in reality she used it as an opportunity to blackmail Sunwoo into pretending to be the king for as long as the queen wished, in order to keep assassins away from her son. Ah Ro, Sunwoo's supposed sister, was the bait.

The others were sent home without Sunwoo. He couldn't face them. He couldn't handle this. He'd taken out his anger on Prince Chang and he'd felt better. Not completely healed, but better, less angry. Now he felt miserable. He'd taken on Mak Moon's name and Mak Moon's life in order to protect Ah Ro and Doctor Ahnji, to honor his best friend in some way. Now he was meant to take on Jidwi's life and Jidwi's name, and for what? For some twisted game played by royalty and government officials. If he didn't, Ah Ro would die, and maybe even Doctor Ahnji too.

Sunwoo was tired of being a pawn in the queen's game. He was tired, soul deep, of the way she toyed with him, and her subjects, as if they weren't even people.

While he was still reeling from the queen's orders, he was approached by a man with a limp and told to become the true king. The man, Hwi-kyung, said he would make Sunwoo the true king, if he wanted it. After all, Sunwoo was the man the people loved, wasn't he?

That night, Sunwoo didn't sleep.

The next day, he saw Jidwi standing alone, overlooking the courtyard of Hwarang House, and realized…Jidwi didn't sleep much. Sunwoo had woken many times to find Jidwi gone in the middle of the night. He'd received letters during the night. Whenever he saw Jidwi asleep, it was simply that the other Hwarang was faking it. Did this same coiling, roiling tension in Sunwoo's gut keep Jidwi awake too?

He stepped up next to Jidwi, trying to appear casual rather than like his world was ending. Did Jidwi

know what his mother had asked of Sunwoo? Did he approve?

"I am good looking for a king, am I not?" Jidwi asked. Sunwoo jolted, surprised that Jidwi would come out and say it. The king. The king. Jidwi was the king. "Everyone else says you are the king, but you still seem to think I am."

But still, he'd said it, and yet all Sunwoo felt was weary. He didn't feel the familiar anger come up at hearing about the king. He felt…afraid. This was a title, a secret, that could end so many lives.

"Did you live like this all your life?" he asked, his tone unguarded, earnest.

Jidwi's head snapped in his direction, his expression startled at the question. It was too forward, too blunt, it tore at the chasm between them, at the delicate balance they were trying to maintain between teasing and truth.

"That king, I mean," Sunwoo corrected, quickly looking away. "Worrying if someone will try to kill him. Worrying if people around him will get hurt. Being too worried to sleep." He glanced at Jidwi for a moment. "It's like that for me."

It seemed Jidwi could not hold Sunwoo's gaze for long either, as he too turned to look out over the courtyard. "That cannot be all there is," he said, almost defensively.

"Oh?" Sunwoo asked. "Would he think about how to make the world more of a mess and if it is possible to satisfy his own needs?" He tried to make it a joke, but his heart felt too heavy for it. Merely talking to Jidwi was helping though. Even strained like this, Jidwi's presence had become soothing.

Jidwi let out a soft, bitter sound. "How could a king who was never treated like a king worry about things like that?"

A king that was never treated like a king. No, the queen probably treated him as one of her chess pieces, just like everyone else. From previous comments, Sunwoo knew that Jidwi was bitter about the situation his mother had placed him in, about how things were being run here in the capital. But would Jidwi be any better as king? Could Sunwoo trust him that much?

"Can that king understand how the subjects feel?" he asked.

"It's not that he can understand them," Jidwi said diplomatically. "It's that he lived like one of them."

A king who lived as one of the subjects. Sunwoo had lived his whole life in a tiny village with no name to call his own. Now that man, Hwi-kyung, wanted Sunwoo to become the king, for real. A king who had lived away from the capital as one of the subjects. The queen and this man were playing the same game, just on different sides of the board. The only difference was that Hwi-kyung's side hadn't cost anyone their lives yet. That Sunwoo knew of, at least.

Feeling cornered again, from every side, a sudden flare of rage made Sunwoo snap at Jidwi. "Would a king who lived as one of the people have them killed just for seeing his face?"

It was so stupid. He didn't blame Jidwi any longer, but still this wound hurt him. Hwi-kyung and the queen had torn open the scab with their plotting.

Jidwi turned and met his eyes for the first time during the conversation. "Yes," he said, his voice quiet like the wind. "Maybe," he amended. As he continued, he began to sound more and more like he was holding back tears. "Maybe he passed by without noticing. Or maybe he learned about it later. But most of the time, he probably had no idea that someone died because of him."

The raw emotion Jidwi was displaying gave Sunwoo pause and he regretted letting his temper flare, even for that one moment.

"Because he is stupid, and foolish, and too weak to say not to kill them," Jidwi continued.

"And what can a king like that do? Can he change the world?" Sunwoo asked. Hwi-kyung wanted him to be king. Was Sunwoo stupid, foolish, and weak as well? He couldn't stand up to the queen. He couldn't forge his own path. He was simply walking where she dictated. "What good is a king like that? Why should a king like that still be alive? When others have died in his place, why is he still alive?!"

Mak Moon was dead, but Sunwoo lived. If Sunwoo had never helped Mak Moon sneak into the capital, would any of this be happening? Would Mak Moon still be alive? And what good had Sunwoo done since being spared? He'd protected Ah Ro at times, but it always felt like each save was just another move someone else had dictated. What was his point? Why was he the one to survive?!

"Do you wish to kill him?" Jidwi asked, knocking Sunwoo from his thoughts. His gaze was hard, but his eyes were resigned, as he said, "Then kill him."

Sunwoo's eyes widened. He felt like a fool. He'd been so caught up in his own problems that he'd forgotten they were speaking of Jidwi as the king. And now this? Was this Jidwi's request? To die? Two weeks ago Sunwoo probably would have granted it. Two weeks ago he was so full of anger he could barely concentrate on anything else in his life but revenge. Now, after everything that happened in Baekje, the thought of harming Jidwi was difficult to bare.

The prolonged silence clearly bothered Jidwi. He let out another soft, bitter sound and lowered his gaze. The king lowered his gaze to a peasant. Sunwoo opened his mouth but no sound would escape. Instead, he simply watched as Jidwi turned and walked away, alone.

…

…

A letter was delivered by Pa Oh, Jidwi's nando, the next day. The man looked preoccupied, anxious, as if he really needed to be anywhere other than delivering mail. His behavior made Sunwoo anxious too. Jidwi had been off yesterday, resigned. He had flat out told Sunwoo to kill him. Now his nando, likely his personal bodyguard, was acting strange too. None of it boded well for the future.

When Sunwoo opened the letter and saw a veritable wall of text, he panicked. After yesterday, the sorts of things that could be contained in so many words was too important to have him butcher his way through it.

He ran to the medical room.

"Ah Ro!" he called as he burst in. Luckily there was no one else inside.

"Brother!" she gasped, clutching her chest in surprise. He liked that she still called him 'brother' even though she knew his identity was assumed now. "Is everything alright?"

He closed the doors and locked them, then hurried over to hand her the letter. "I need you to read this letter for me." She glanced between the letter and him in confusion. "Please."

That got her moving. She nodded and opened the letter. The more she read, the wider her eyes got and the more nervous Sunwoo became. By the end, Ah Ro had to take a seat on the bed. She let the letter fall to her lap. Sunwoo forced himself to wait rather than demand to know what it had said.

Staring at the far wall, Ah Ro asked, "You knew he is the king?"

"I thought so for a long time," he admitted. "But I learned I was right only recently. What did he say?"

Ah Ro looked at him, blinked once slowly in confusion, and then seemed to remember the letter in her hands. "He-He said he will become a strong king. That he told his mother of his intentions. That he's meant to get the support of Official Youngshil but that he finds the man distasteful and would rather lead the country with the help of Hwarang, because he trusts and knows them." She ran her eyes over the words again as she spoke. "He calls the officials greedy old men who have Silla in a chokehold, and that it's…It's stupid to think Silla can change, become a place where no one must become a thief because the law would have them starve, if he aligns himself with the same people who enforce those laws."

Ah Ro looked duly impressed and Sunwoo was right there with her. He was also incredibly relieved. Nothing about this letter reflected the defeated expression on Jidwi's face yesterday. Somehow he'd taken that conversation and come out stronger on the other side. When his legs felt like they might start to shake, Sunwoo took a seat on the bed next to Ah Ro and let out a long breath.

She looked at his profile for a long moment, long enough that Sunwoo began to feel uncomfortable. When he finally turned a questioning look on her, she said, "He wanted your advice on what to do."

"What?" Sunwoo's advice?

Ah Ro nodded. "He warned that, as the pretend king, you might be asked for your opinion on a lot of matters in the near future."

Sunwoo let out a blustering breath. "I don't want that," he complained. He waved toward a random space in the room. "He's the king."

His petulant tone made Ah Ro smile. "I know. And he's used to getting what he wants. You just have to show him he can't always have it."

That reminded Sunwoo. He lowered his arm and frowned at his sister. "You knew he is the king?" he repeated her earlier question.

She nodded. "It's not important how, but I've known for a long time." She sighed. "He comes to me for help sleeping sometimes, even when I'm busy with other things, and teases me by talking about being the king when he knows it makes me nervous."

So Jidwi aggravated her too. Sunwoo's lips lifted. Ah Ro noticed.

"Does he do that to you too?"

Sunwoo shook his head, his smile fading. "No. He's too nervous around me for that."

Now Ah Ro frowned. "Why should he feel nervous?"

Because Sunwoo had said he would kill the king, probably. How could Sunwoo take that back without appearing to lie, he wondered. Maybe he could tell Jidwi that he'd found someone else he would rather kill, like the queen. Sunwoo would kill the queen if it would protect Ah Ro and Doctor Ahnji, or Jidwi, or the subjects of Silla.

On second thought, telling your friend that you would kill their mom was probably not the best course of action.

…

…

Jidwi's prediction came true that same afternoon. Lord Wihwa asked both Jidwi and Sunwoo to come up with a solution to a problem regarding Park Youngshil. There was a disease spreading through Makmang Village, Sunwoo's old home, but the official was hoarding all the medicine and letting people die so that, later, he could charge the rich exorbitant prices for a magic cure.

As usual, all of Sunwoo's anger about the upper classes came crashing back in. Here was a man who did not deserve to live. Amazingly, Jidwi actually agreed, but he also pointed out that actually killing Youngshil was not an option.

Instead, they would steal all of his medicine and give it out for free.

Suho and Yeo Wool agreed to help them out, and together they planned a mighty heist. Lord Wihwa would distract Official Youngshil while the four Hwarang snuck in, found the medicine, and stole as much of it as they could. They didn't include Banryu since Youngshil was his step-father, but midway through the theft he showed up anyway, causing an even bigger scene than Wihwa's drunken antics and giving them ample cover.

Any amusement Sunwoo felt at the actions of his fellow Hwarang ended when he saw the inside of Park Youngshil's shed.

"He has more gold and medicine than the Royal Family. And he is the highest official in Silla," Jidwi pronounced like a death sentence.

The shed was bursting with gold, silver, and other riches, as well as medicinal herbs, statues, fabrics, and wine. As Yeo Wool pointed out, Youngshil had several sheds like this on his grand estate. It made Sunwoo's stomach churn to think that one man was purposefully collecting so much just so that he could control others, make them suffer.

"Is this the rule of this land?" he asked bitterly.

"No," Jidwi said, his voice choked and angry at the same time. "This is not."

"We do not have the time," Suho interrupted their musings. "Let's go."

It was only later, once the medicine was safely on its way to the village where it was desperately needed, that Sunwoo had a chance to speak plainly with Jidwi. Suho and Yeo Wool had gone back to their room already, while Jidwi and Sunwoo arranged the travel of the medicine, so they were alone on the walk back to Hwarang House.

"Park Youngshil," Sunwoo said to break the silence. Sunwoo crossed his arms as they walked. "Men like him do not deserve their position."

"Oh?" Jidwi asked, interested but pretending to withhold his attention.

A nod. "They deserve the sharp end of a sword, not a palace." Sunwoo cleared his throat and purposefully looked away from Jidwi. "As the king, I should clear the officials of him and those who support him, should I not? There are people I can trust that are not corrupt. I would not need them."

Jidwi completely stopped walking. Sunwoo let several feet spread between them before he too stopped and turned around. The king was watching Sunwoo with intense eyes. His lips were thin and his body was held tense. He was concerned because Sunwoo obviously knew the contents of that last letter.

Why did he continue to write if he never expected them to be read?

"Am I wrong?" Sunwoo asked, keeping his voice light.

After a few long moments, Jidwi's body began to relax. He gave a minute shake of his head and opened his mouth to speak. Sunwoo quickly turned away and acted surprised to see Hwarang House so near before a sound could leave his lips, however.

"Ah, we should get inside before we get caught," he said, heading for the wall they always snuck over without looking back.

…

…

Literacy lessons with Ah Ro were more focused and intense than ever. Sunwoo came to see her as soon as all Hwarang activities were done in the evening and stayed with her until it was almost too late for her to leave on her own. Then he stayed in the medical room, practicing, until his own eyes felt like stone blocks. More than once, he fell asleep there and was woken by one of his roommates, or Hansung, or even Ah Ro, in the morning before anyone could catch him out and about.

For lessons, Ah Ro went through different characters one by one, like with a small child, for awhile. Then she would take one of the letters Sunwoo had received and teach him previously unknown characters from them as well, starting with the first one he received. Within a week, he could actually read the letter where Jidwi told him he had a way with words.

He began practicing his symbols and characters in his free time during the day as well. As before, he would carry old work around inside his robes and pull them out for review at any given opportunity. With everyone avoiding him, thinking he was the king, he had more time than before to practice.

If he'd been bolder about his lessons, Sunwoo would've asked Ah Ro to teach him the sentence that kept being repeated in the later letters. However every lesson was extremely difficult for him, every new piece of information felt like trying to jam a square block into a round hole, and by the time they moved lessons on to his actual letters he was simply too tired to make requests.

The day after Sunwoo was able to read Jidwi's early letter, the man himself came to give Sunwoo a report. He found Sunwoo in the same back courtyard that Pa Oh had long ago, where no one would bother him. No one except Jidwi it seemed.

"Have you heard the news?" Jidwi asked, his lips lifting at the edges. When Sunwoo simply stared at him he continued. "The official Park Youngshil is quite livid over a theft of his belongings, I hear. He demanded that the magistrates find those responsible and punish them."

Sunwoo frowned. "Is that so?"

Before he could worry about the repercussions of their actions that night, Jidwi raised a finger to halt him, looking mischievous. "He wouldn't tell the magistrates what was stolen from him, however, and they refused to look into it."

Now Sunwoo grinned as well. "What a shame."

Jidwi nodded. Then the oddity of teasing with Sunwoo seemed to hit him and the smile faded from his lips. He looked away. Sunwoo wished he wouldn't. He'd missed their teasing. How long ago was it that Jidwi had sung a song about him loving dog poop? Who knew that Sunwoo would miss such a song?

"It seems that we made a good team, you and I," Jidwi said, his voice much more somber than before, "when planning that theft."

They had been a good team, and their roommates had fallen into step without question, even Banryu. Most of Hwarang thought Sunwoo was a good man and listened to him when he spoke, even before they thought he was the king. And Sunwoo had heard them speak highly of Jidwi's fighting skills and finely worded speeches as well.

"Maybe our next plan," Sunwoo hedged, drawing Jidwi's eyes back to him, "should be how to take down the queen."

Jidwi frowned, looking troubled. "I'm not sure a king should plan such things."

Sunwoo persisted. "I think some kings don't have a choice."

…

…

The suggestion to take down the queen rattled Jidwi. Sunwoo couldn't really understand why. Jidwi had spoken of taking down the queen himself on occasion, had gone to his mother and told her in person that he was gearing up to take the throne from her, yet somehow the thought of actually taking action against his mother had Jidwi pausing. Maybe if Sunwoo had ever had a mother he would understand, but he didn't.

But then, that same day, Jidwi rushed back to Sunwoo with the news that Ah Ro had been taken to the palace on the queen's orders.

"It is my fault," he admitted. "Some of the things I said to my mother…she believes Ah Ro is the reason why I am fighting for the throne now."

It was more open about his position than Jidwi normally allowed, more blatant. Under the circumstances, it was the least of Sunwoo's concerns. Ah Ro was at the palace. Ah Ro was with the queen. Jidwi thought it was because of him standing up to his mother, but Sunwoo had to disagree. No, Ah Ro had been taken because of Sunwoo, he was certain of it. The queen wanted to make sure he knew that she held all the pieces in this game, that she held not only Sunwoo's life, but Ah Ro's and the doctor's as well.

He ran to find Hwi-kyung, the limping man who claimed to have so much power as to make Sunwoo the king. If anyone could save Ah Ro from the queen, once and for all, it was that man.

"What do I have to do?!" Sunwoo asked, after Hwi-kyung told him that the queen planned to use Ah Ro until her usefulness was done, and then kill her.

"Become the king. If you become king, you won't have to worry about her safety. You can make the world that you desire. You will not lose your life like your friend did," Hwi-kyung told him. "Will you become the real king?"

It always came back to that. Become the king. Don't fake it anymore. Be the real king. But how was that possible?

"Who are you to say such things?" Sunwoo asked.

Hwi-kyung said that he was Sunwoo's father, and that Sunwoo, the nameless boy from a tiny village playing at someone else's life, was actually a prince of Silla. He could take the throne as a legitimate heir. All he had to do was say yes.

Sunwoo couldn't breathe.

…

…

'I am a Sacred Bone.'

Sunwoo wrote it on the paper over and over and over again, but the words still made little sense to him.

'I am a Sacred Bone. I am a Sacred Bone. I am a Sacred Bone.'

He frowned.

'Am I the king? Am I the right king?'

That was all he could fit on the paper before he ran out of space. His letters were still too large, even after so much practice. Still, it was all he needed to include. It was all he knew how to put into writing, anyway.

He folded the paper up, put it inside one of the envelopes Jidwi had previously used, and left it on Jidwi's pillow. They needed to talk.

Two hours later, Jidwi found him on the bridge over the pond. The sun was still high in the sky but it was one of the Hwarang days off so no one was around to see them. Sunwoo did not look up when Jidwi took the space next to him, facing the water.

From inside his robes, Jidwi pulled the letter and waved it gently in the air. "I was surprised to find you sending me letters now," he said mildly. "Though I admit I do not understand the contents."

Eyes on the still water, and remembering how Lord Wihwa had once said that a calm surface could hide a tumultuous center, Sunwoo said, "My father…is Prince Hwi-kyung."

Jidwi went still beside him.

"Ah Ro is not my sister," he confessed. "I was raised in a small village alongside an older boy named Mak Moon. He was my best friend. He always talked about his family in the capital, especially his sister. When he was killed, I took his place as Doctor Ahnji's son."

Quietly, Jidwi said, "The one who saw…was Ah Ro's brother."

Sunwoo nodded. "I have no name of my own. According to my…my father, that too is the work of the queen, so that I would belong nowhere. He also told me that I could protect Ah Ro, the country, by becoming the king."

Now he looked away from the pond to his friend, but Jidwi's eyes were also cast upon the water. His eyes shifted side to side, almost as if he were reading something, but he did not speak. He was lovely to watch, even when all he was doing was thinking. If only Sunwoo could take the time to appreciate the view more, but he was too overwhelmed.

Sunwoo hoped Jidwi would come up with a plan because, for once, he had none of his own. He felt like a puppet with tangled strings, not knowing which way was up anymore.

He had gone from a boy with no name, to a Half breed, to a Sacred Bone in such a short time, yet he was still the same person. How was he meant to handle the changes in his life so suddenly? He always seemed to have more questions than answers these days.

Jidwi let out a snort of air. "It's no wonder you want to take down the queen," he said, and lifted an open, accepting expression toward Sunwoo.

They were equals. They had always treated each other as such. Now, though, they knew it was more true than ever. Sunwoo wondered if the knowledge would clear up how he felt about Jidwi or simply make it more complicated.

…

…

The next day, Jidwi revealed himself to every official of Silla at once so that his mother could not cover it up. It was a decision Sunwoo would not know about until later, long after he could have done anything to stop it or defend Jidwi while he did it. While Jidwi distracted everyone else with his announcement, Sunwoo was on his way to get Ah Ro out of the queen's hands and to safety.

Instead, the queen's assassins attacked Sunwoo and Ah Ro took an arrow saving his life. He'd been injured plenty of times while defending her, but never had he imagined their positions reversed. It was one more addition to the growing pile of times when Sunwoo didn't know what to do. The only reason they didn't both die due to Sunwoo's indecision was because Pa Oh appeared to defend them and cover their escape.

He'd always had a plan, or if not then his multi-sided dice had given him one. He'd always been confident in his choices. Now every choice seemed to be the wrong one. Now every move landed him at a dead end. He wished that he could live in a small village with Jidwi, Ah Ro, and Doctor Ahnji, and perhaps the excitable Suk Hansung from the Hwarang as well. They would live outside of the influence of all the machinations of nobility. They would be happy.

It was just a dream. Hwarang House was full of the sons and grandsons of politicians who vied for control of the throne, though more and more lately they seemed freed from their family's expectations. Ah Ro might still die from a plot by the queen to end Sunwoo's life. Jidwi was the king and right in the middle of everyone's plots. There were pressures from every side and all Sunwoo could do, if his dream of a peaceful life could even remotely happen, was find a way to break through them all and rise above.

Waiting for Ah Ro to wake up, now that Doctor Ahnji had tended to her wound, Sunwoo received his next letter. It was Pa Oh again. He looked contrite.

"I am sorry that I could not protect you better," he said with a deep bow once he'd handed over the letter. "It was my job and I failed."

Sunwoo looked at Ah Ro. It was his job to protect her, but he'd failed at that too. Pa Oh did not wait for a response, leaving Sunwoo in relative peace to read the letter.

Honestly, why Jidwi continued to write long paragraphs when he knew Sunwoo's reading level…

'I'm sorry for the trouble you and your sister….because of my mother…Over and over I said-' and there were those symbols again, the ones from every letter since Baekje, the ones Sunwoo hadn't yet learned. Sunwoo skipped to the next part he could understand. 'You are in…I will not speak of…because there is too much at…our hearts the greatest…Silla as well.'

Sunwoo found a sheet of paper and took his time copying down that sentence that Jidwi always repeated. He practiced until he could write it with his eyes closed and then he got a new paper and wrote it once more. That final copy was slipped into his robes for safe keeping.

For now he had bigger things to worry about. Ah Ro had still not awoken but Sunwoo could wait no longer. He went to see his father, who gave his reasoning for leaving Sunwoo to grow up with no name in a poor village, and who listed his logic for why Sunwoo would make a good king. It was hard to bear. On the one hand, Hwi-kyung sounded proud of him. A son stronger than anyone else in the capital, who could empathize with and understand the people, who would make a great king. On the other, Sunwoo still felt like one of his game pieces. A hidden piece just waiting to be played at the right moment.

After telling his father that he would consider the offer of becoming the king, Sunwoo went to see Lord Wihwa, to judge his loyalty to the current king and hear his judgment of Sunwoo as a candidate for the position.

Lord Wihwa let out his customary loud exhale. "You may be a better king than some," he said. "But if you try to become the king without the proper justification, that would be seen as a rebellion and the people would suffer. Is that the kind of king you want?"

"No," Sunwoo assured him. "I want a king who will protect the people who need protecting."

Wihwa seemed pleased by his answer, but not impressed. "Then consider your moves carefully."

"I intend to." He almost left just then, but remembered the note he'd written. Sunwoo pulled it out and handed it to Wihwa. "If you don't mind…What does this say?"

Wihwa was not his first choice to translate the message, but Sunwoo had to stay out of sight of the queen's assassins. He couldn't go find Danse to read it, and Ah Ro was unconscious. Jidwi was in the palace and, as the writer of the letter, probably wouldn't tell Sunwoo what it meant anyway. His options were severely limited.

After a mere glance at the words, Lord Wihwa chuckled. "I love you."

Sunwoo, though standing still, stumbled. "What?"

Still chuckling, Wihwa held the paper back out to Sunwoo. "Who would choose right now to confess to a man who would be king? I wonder."

…

…

Jidwi sent for him. No, King Jinheung sent for him. A royal order.

Their last encounter had ended on a positive note, but Pa Oh looked serious on the journey to the palace and did not explain anything of Jidwi's plans. Sunwoo entered the throne room metaphorically blind.

The throne was empty. It was as if this room were the country and the empty seat represented the lack of leadership it had been suffering under for far too long.

Sunwoo was a Sacred Bone. His father wanted him to become the king. But Sunwoo did not feel like a king. He only knew that he wanted to protect people. He wanted t protect the people of Silla, and their king.

A sword met Sunwoo's throat and he stopped walking. There, to his right, was Jidwi. His eyes were blazing with distrust. He had never looked at Sunwoo like that and it made Sunwoo's chest feel tight. Someone had done something to Jidwi, perhaps turned him against Sunwoo.

"Do you want to sit there?" he asked, referring to the throne only a few feet in front of them.

Sunwoo drew his own sword and put it to Jidwi's, a matching pose. Again they were equal. "Do you deserve to own that seat?" he asked in return. "Or is the king a coward, still so incompetent as to let others die in his place?"

Jidwi frowned, his grip on his sword tightening, causing the blade to shake. It rested so close to Sunwoo's neck that any further shaking might result in drawing blood. "If you believe you would be a better king than I," Jidwi began, his voice quiet but strong, and then surprised Sunwoo by tossing his sword away, "then strike me down."

The sheer power of his gaze made Sunwoo pause and made swallowing difficult. He was wearing richer fabrics than he ever had, and was dressed in the finest of royal evening wear, but it was that gaze that made him feel like a king. He held Sunwoo's eyes, daring him to put metal to skin, to take the throne of Silla from Jidwi's open hands. He was fierce. He was absolutely stunning.

Sunwoo lowered his sword. "If I had wanted to kill you, I have had plenty of chances," he said. "From the moment I first suspected you were the king, I imagined killing you. I killed you in so many ways that I lost track." Jidwi looked only mildly surprised by the admission, and the distrust that had colored him since he appeared was gone, so Sunwoo knew he'd been right to confess. "Back then, even though I burned with hatred, I could not kill you. Now you ask me to do it, not in defeat but with courage."

He didn't state it outright but the implication was there. If Sunwoo would not kill the coward king, there was no way he would harm him now that he was brave.

For a long while the two Sacred Bones, the eldest of the royal family's sons, simply gazed at each other. Sunwoo catalogued the changes in Jidwi since their last encounter, only two days ago. He'd been bathed, and the soothing scent of the bath oils reached Sunwoo even at a distance. His normally fine hair had been combed until perfectly straight at every angle. His headband bore the mark of the king, which he now wore about his wrist as well. It was the same bracelet Sunwoo had worn for so many weeks, hunting for its owner. Makeup had been applied to Jidwi's face, but it did not fully hide the bags that had begun to grow under his eyes. He wasn't sleeping well. Sunwoo frowned.

"I had a dream," Jidwi broke the silence. "I dreamed you were at my side and we changed Silla, together."

Sunwoo was reminded of one of Jidwi's first letters. In it he spoke of a dream he'd had, wherein he and Sunwoo were friends. They kept no secrets from each other and knew each other better than anyone else. They were happy.

"I wanted to make Silla better. I wanted to prevent deaths caused by the bone-rank system. I dreamed we became more than Silla and unified the Three Kingdoms," Jidwi said, becoming choked up by even the memory of such a dream. "I dreamed we did it all together."

Sunwoo wanted to look away, afraid that it was clear on his face how much he wished for Jidwi's dream. Not only this one, but the one in which they were together and happy. He could not turn away from Jidwi however.

He once had dreamt, nightly, of getting revenge for Mak Moon. Now he cringed at the thought of hurting the king. He had dreamt that he was truly Ah Ro's brother, but she was quick to remind him he wasn't if he got too familiar. He had dreamt of running away with Jidwi, of being happy, playing in rivers, doing laundry, riding horses, farming the land. But they could not run away. They were not happy. They were stuck in this chaos, possibly on opposing sides. If something did not change, soon, Sunwoo would find himself to be Jidwi's enemy rather than his friend. One of them might end up dead. Every dream Sunwoo had dared to dream since coming to the capital was simply ash in his hands.

"I have had dreams too," Sunwoo said into the quiet. "But many dreams cannot become reality." He held up his sword once more, though not close enough to Jidwi for his next words to be considered threatening. "Can what you dream of come true?"

Jidwi did not even flinch at the raised weapon. He continued to hold Sunwoo's gaze, as if looking away meant the end of the world. "It will not be easy," he admitted, his eyes glinting wetly in the low candle light of the room. "But if I do not try, and just breathe…I will be living, but I will not be alive."

Those words reminded Sunwoo of the speech he'd given soon after joining Hwarang. In fact, everything about how Jidwi had been acting reminded him of those words. Break up the hard, dry earth, the dead and dying land. Make a path for the healing, rich water to flow through and bring life. Make a choice, choose a path, and then walk it. Fight for it with every ounce of power you had.

Somehow Jidwi, who constantly spoke of his own cowardice, was forging forward while Sunwoo was stuck in the dry dirt, praying for water.

Now that water had come.

Sunwoo offered to eliminate anyone who tried to kill Jidwi, to work as Jidwi's right arm in the fight to change Silla. Together they planned how to get rid of Park Youngshil and his followers from the ranks of the officials, how to stop Hwi-kyung's machinations for the throne, how to make the queen, the Hwarang, and all of Silla accept Jidwi as the king he rightfully was.

When they were done, Sunwoo cut the bracelet, the symbol of Sunwoo's rage and the debt Jidwi felt he owed Sunwoo, in half with his sword. Revenge had no place in the new world they wished to create. They had to move forward. The action hurt Jidwi physically, leaving a trail of blood down to his fingertips, and yet he gave Sunwoo a small but brilliant smile.

"I guess the next time we meet, we will be enemies," he said, and he sounded as teasing as when he sang songs about poop.

…

…

On the day of the coronation, Sunwoo led all of Hwarang into the throne room. Kim Suho spoke of their loyalty to the new king, a king who would speak for the people and change Silla for the better. Then every Hwarang knelt in deference while Sunwoo held his blade high and declared that this was the wish of all of Silla and that every official should follow the lead of the Hwarang, and then, to the shock of his father, Park Youngshil, and all of the official's who followed them, Sunwoo said,

"Your Majesty Jinheung, manse!"

That day, Park Youngshil was arrested and sentenced to death for conspiring against the royal family. Three of his supporters were sentenced likewise. Prince Hwi-kyung was banned from the palace. Queen Jiso abdicated the throne to her son. Jidwi, Sammaekjung, became King Jinheung of Silla.

The Hwarang hung around the palace for a week to show their support for a smooth transition of power. Ah Ro was released from any duties she'd been forced into by the queen and, after a tearful reunion with Sunwoo, returned home to her equally happy father. Sunwoo stayed for dinner that night but otherwise remained in the palace with the rest of the Hwarang.

There were many official meetings in the days following Jinheung's rise to power, and Sunwoo made sure to be present at every single one. For one, he had to show his support, as an heir to the throne, as another Sacred Bone, for King Jinheung's rein. For another, he loved watching Jinheung acting as the king. And for a third, it was amusing to watch all of Park Youngsil's past followers cringe away whenever Sunwoo walked near.

Jinheung found it humorous too. "They are terrified of you," he teased, laughing behind his hand as they were left alone in his chambers.

"Good," Sunwoo said, serious. "Then they won't try anything."

Jinheung let out a long breath. "I suppose that is true," he admitted, but then he was grinning again. "It is still amusing. I think one of them actually lost control of his bladder today."

Sunwoo had seen that and the memory, plus Jinheung's grin, made him smile too.

…

…

Suho walked up to Sunwoo on the training field of Hwarang House and bowed. "My lord," he greeted. Sunwoo nodded in return. "I have a message from the king for you."

The other Hwarang were politely pretending not to listen to their superior and a palace guard talk, but it was plain to see they were curious. Sunwoo nodded away from the group and then led Suho to the room that had become his private office, of sorts, as head of the king's personal forces.

Once they were alone, Suho pulled the letter from his robes. Without asking, he removed the letter from its envelope, unfolded it, cleared his throat, and began to read.

"The border with Baekje becomes less secure by the day. I understand your feelings toward Baekje and I remember clearly the events involving Prince Chang, yet I do not believe outright war is our best option. Instead, an alliance with our neighbors in Goguryeo may be of use. We must meet to discuss the particulars," he said, his voice perfectly calm. "Also, I heard that Suk Hansung is writing a book. I would be honored to purchase a copy when he is finished."

With that, he refolded the letter and held it out for Sunwoo to take.

"Thank you," Sunwoo said, sliding the letter into his robes.

Suho looked surprised at the action. "Do you not wish to go over the characters, as we usually do?"

Sunwoo shook his head. "Not today."

Recognizing the dismissal for what it was, Suho again bowed before turning and leaving the room. Then Sunwoo moved to kneel before the bottom drawer of the cabinet he'd been given. The cabinet contained many important documents, mostly maps and drawings of past military actions taken, but also reports of supplies. There were scrolls full of philosophy, art theory, mathematics, and even fashion and makeup. Sunwoo's reading ability got better by the day, but he still had no idea what most of those scrolls said.

In the bottom drawer was where Sunwoo kept every letter Jinheung had ever sent him. They were wrapped, in stacks, gently in string for organization and stayed hidden away most of the time. Sunwoo placed the newest letter on the only unwrapped stack of letters. Then he sat back on his heels and regarded the many missives.

In the months since Jinheung had become king, he'd sent one message at least every third day. Suho had read most of them to him. They were all written in formal language, reports on the military, alliances, trade, daily life in the palace. Some strayed into teasing territory with comments on how being king was harder than he'd thought or how he'd imagined what Sunwoo would do and it had made him laugh. Many times the letters asked for Sunwoo's counsel and Sunwoo would make a trip to the palace the next day to give his response.

Not one of them mentioned Jinheung's feelings for Sunwoo. Not one of them included the characters for 'I love you.'

With a heavy sigh, Sunwoo closed the drawer and left the room. Instead of heading back for training he diverted to the medical room.

Ah Ro was officially a doctor at Hwarang House, and paid handsomely for her services. That was good because the Hwarang could learn basic medicine from her and because Sunwoo's literacy lessons could continue. It was also good because it meant Sunwoo could see her almost any time he wanted.

His once-sister was wrapping rolls of clean bandages and putting them into a container for storage when Sunwoo walked in. She barely glanced up to say hello.

"In one of your stories," Sunwoo asked after a short pause of silence. He looked at one of the closed windows as he spoke. "If someone claims they love…someone else, why would they stop saying it?"

Ah Ro shrugged. "Many reasons. They were gruesomely injured and can no longer speak." Well that wasn't it. "They were betrayed by the one they love and the feelings turned to hatred." Sunwoo would be confused if that was it. "They no longer love each other." Sunwoo's heart clenched. "Or it was a lie to begin with, simply a way to win the affection of the other person for their own ends."

A mirror would've been nice to have on hand just then, for when Ah Ro looked up again she gasped in shock and mild horror and dropped her bandages, so Sunwoo's expression must've been quite the sight.

"Brother, what's wrong?" she asked, standing and approaching him, though she stopped just at arm's reach.

Sunwoo shook his head. This was silly. There was no reason for Jinheung to have lied in his letters. Sunwoo hadn't even been able to read them. Right. "I couldn't read them," he said out loud, the auditory presence of the words making them more easily accepted.

Ah Ro frowned in confusion. "Read what?"

Instead of answering her outright, Sunwoo met her gaze and simply asked, "Why did you never tell me that he confessed in his letters? Why did you never teach me how to read those characters?"

Instantly, Ah Ro understood. She clasped her hands in front of her and squeezed, a subtle sign of duress, but did not lower her gaze. "If you knew about his affections, I feared that I would lose both of you." She closed her eyes for a moment. "First, I thought you might kill him and then the queen would kill you in return. Then, after we came back from Baekje, I realized that I could lose you in an entirely different way."

When his feelings for Jinheung changed, when he gave up his revenge, when he allowed himself to actually look at the man. It had been weeks since Jidwi became Jinheung and Sunwoo thought about him more every day. He had always been the first thought on Sunwoo's mind upon waking, and the last one he had before going to sleep. Now most of his waking life was taken up with thoughts of the king.

It seemed Ah Ro had recognized these feelings in Sunwoo before Sunwoo had even accepted that they were there.

"I am," she began haltingly, "I am glad that you took my brother's place…and became my brother. I am grateful that you care about me, even now that everyone knows you are a Sacred Bone and I am just a half blood."

"What does rank matter?" Sunwoo interrupted. The first thing he wanted from the new laws Jinheung was setting up was an end to the bone-rank system, but he knew that one was likely to be the last to go.

Ah Ro shook her head. "I am sorry I didn't tell you," she said. "And…I'm more sorry that he no longer tells you himself, that his heart has changed."

Then Sunwoo shook his head. "If it did, it's my fault, not yours."

But that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

…

…

Shortly after that, Sunwoo was sent on his first mission abroad, and for months and months he saw more of Baekje than he ever wanted to. He travelled the countryside in disguise, gathering intel. He met with the king and the other princes, and even Prince Chang. While it was clear that Prince Chang still wished to kill him and take Silla, Silla had now grown too strong to take outright and the prince was forced to put down his sword and play nice.

He still received letters from Jinheung. They were short, sometimes only a sentence or two long, and never contained anything of import in case of interception, certainly no words of love, but still they came. Sunwoo would sit down in the evenings with his book of characters and painstakingly read every single one. Over time it became easier. More and more often he didn't even need to look a character up in order to understand it.

Understanding the letters wasn't why they were important and it wasn't why Sunwoo tried so hard.

From diligent practice had come the ability to read Jinheung's older letters, and finally Sunwoo was able to realize what Jinheung's last letter before becoming king had said.

'I am sorry for the trouble you and your sister have experienced, and continue to experience, because of my mother and for how, over and over, I said 'I love you' without considering the consequences of such declarations. You are in a difficult position now, facing many challenges. I promise I will not speak of my feelings again, because there is too much at stake now, our hearts the greatest of these, but Silla's future as well.'

Jinheung had loved him, once. Then, in true Jidwi fashion, he had apologized for those feelings and accepted responsibility for the consequences they had brought. Jinheung had loved Sunwoo so dearly that he had pushed his feelings away, so that Sunwoo wouldn't be hurt by them. The first time Sunwoo understood this, he had stained the letter with his tears.

That was why the letters he still received were worth more than the contents they carried. With every letter Sunwoo received, he knew that Jinheung was still alive, living well, and – most importantly – that he was still thinking about Sunwoo. They arrived every few days, too frequently to be simply matters of state. Jinheung was using the letters to keep track of Sunwoo too, to know that Sunwoo was also alive and well. And he woudn't do that if he didn't care. Taking time to learn them and understand them seemed like the least Sunwoo could do in return.

…

…

"Prince Chang is gathering forces in the smaller villages near our border," Sunwoo said, standing at attention, with his hands clasped behind him, in the throne room. "But the subjects are unhappy with the added military. If we sent some of those we saved from Baekje into the towns to speak on your behalf, it might start a revolt, or at least make all of their supplies mysteriously disappear."

King Jinheung sat on his throne looking imperial, back straight, face straight, until that last line. Then he gave a single laugh, almost as if it was startled out of him. When the humor faded from his face, it remained in his voice as he complained, "We never see each other anymore unless something bad is happening that needs fixing."

This, joking with Jinheung, was what Sunwoo loved. Joking about friendship, about poop, about the Hwarang, their roommates, the queen. Dunking each other in the river, playfully arguing over who was the better shot with an arrow. Sunwoo wanted Jinheung's smiles. Sunwoo wanted Jinheung's attention. Sunwoo wanted Jinheung's time.

Sunwoo let his arms fall to his sides. He could not quite meet Jinheung's eyes as he asked, "Why did you stop writing 'I love you' in your letters?"

The humor fled from Jinheung and from the room itself. They were left in silence, awkward and tense. Some part of Jinheung was probably wondering when Sunwoo learned that he'd ever said 'I love you' in the first place. Those characters were the most familiar to Sunwoo. He had practiced them hundreds of times since Lord Wihwa first told him what they meant.

Perhaps another part of Jinheung was wondering about Sunwoo's feelings regarding such a declaration. The more time that passed, the more deeply he felt about his king. His friend. He wanted to spend all of his free time with Jinheung; wanted to fall asleep next to him and wake up seeing his face first of all things; wanted to support him in his endeavors and help make his dreams of a better Silla come true. He wanted to be one of Jinheung's dreams, the way that Jinheung was one of Sunwoo's.

After what felt like a small eternity, Jinheung, voice quiet, said, "I felt that placing such feelings upon you was too burdensome."

Sunwoo lifted his gaze to the throne and saw that Jinheung too had looked away. He stepped closer to the throne, until he was directly in front of it, his knees almost touching Jinheung's. The king turned his attention on Sunwoo, and as always, his eyes held more words than his mouth could utter; desires and wishes he could not believe possible. Though Jinheung had not written or spoken of his love, Sunwoo knew, without a doubt, that the feelings were still there.

"What if it's a burden I want to carry?" he asked, his voice heavy with intent.

A smile pulled at Jinheung's lips but he quickly quashed it. "Such a relationship could never be public."

Most relationships among the upper classes seemed to be pretty private anyway, and Sunwoo was a very private person. "I know."

"As the reigning king, I am expected to marry, many times, and produce heirs," Jinheung reminded him, his lips pulled into a thin line.

As a Sacred Bone, it was possible that Sunwoo would also be expected to someday produce children with a wife or two. It wasn't something he wanted or planned to do, but he understood the pressure behind tradition. "I know."

Trying a different tactic, Jinheung motioned vaguely toward the room and said, "I am the king of Silla while you are the head of my personal army. We have very different jobs, both of which require us to be away or occupied for long spans of time. That would hurt any prospective relationships."

Sunwoo had already spent months and months away from Jinheung without a relationship between them. All he knew from that experience was that he'd treasured Jinheung's letters and had another reason to come home safely. "I know," he said for the third time.

Jinheung stood from the throne, as graceful as a cat. They now stood so close together that they could almost feel each other's breath. Jinheung's eyes traced over every line and feature of Sunwoo's face, his expression one of wonderment.

"Who would agree to a match under such stipulations?" the king wondered quietly. "Do you know?"

Openly smiling, Sunwoo said, "I know," for a fourth time and it earned him a kiss.

…

…

Two years later, Jinheung had married a woman named Park Sado, a woman from the family of the notorious Park Youngshil who was more like her adopted brother Banryu than her grandfather. Their first child was on the way.

Though Jinheung cared for his queen, per tradition and expectation, she had her own wing in the palace and they did not spend most days together. When he got another wife, she too would live in that wing of the palace. Most nights saw Jinheung alone in his rooms, sometimes sitting at his table and writing a letter.

He still wrote letters to Sunwoo every few days, sending them to wherever Sunwoo's next mission had taken him – to Baekje or Goguryeo or any of the minor kingdoms fighting for their place in the world, or even villages throughout Silla itself. The people still sang songs about his excellent military work, as they had sung about him being king. The Hwarang had won many battles under his leadership, and were excellent musicians, theologians, writers, and artists whenever they weren't fighting.

Sunwoo visited the palace as soon as he returned to the capital, every time, ostensibly to give a report. But his room at Hearang House stood empty most nights, while the king's bed absorbed his warmth as much as the king's body.

The same was true of that night, with Jinheung lying with his limbs tangled up in Sunwoo's. Sunwoo ran his fingers through Jinheung's long hair slowly, staring at the ornately carved ceiling, thinking about the years they'd spent together so far.

He thought the king was asleep, right up until Jinheung lifted his hand and began to lightly trace patterns on Sunwoo's bare chest, making the soldier jump.

Jinheung huffed a laugh into Sunwoo's shoulder, his eyes still closed. "Did I startle you, great warrior?"

Sunwoo let out a huff of his own, as if the very idea that Jinheung could startle him was offensive. His hand stilled, instead cupping the back of Jinheung's head, and he frowned curiously. "What are you writing?"

The patterns that Jinheung was tracing reminded Sunwoo of the symbols Ah Ro had taught him. No…as Jinheung silently continued to drag his finger around on Sunwoo's chest, he realized that Ah Ro had not taught him these symbols. The characters being repeated, over and over and over, in silence on his skin were the same ones Sunwoo had practiced a thousand times.

'I love you.'

Still frowning, Sunwoo pulled his arm from under Jinheung's head and sat up. Curious and a bit confused, Jinheung too sat up, his long hair falling beautifully to partly cover his face. Sunwoo crawled out of the bed and over to where he'd left his traveling robes. From within the confines he pulled a letter in a simple envelope.

Sliding back onto the bed, he pushed the hair from Jinheung's face before handing him the letter. The king looked down at it curiously. "What's this?" he asked, grinning. "A written report?"

As Jinheung pulled it out and unfolded it, Sunwoo said, "I've been practicing."

There was silence between them as Jinheung read the letter, his teasing grin falling to something much more serious, his eyes glittering wet with tears that did not fall. His eyes ran over the words many times before he lifted his gaze back to Sunwoo.

"You-"

"I know I don't say it enough," Sunwoo interrupted. "But I think we share the same dream."

Jinheung shook his head, his lips pulling up again. "My silly Dog-Bird," he said. "You think?" He set the letter aside and motioned for Sunwoo to come close again. When they were breathing the same air once more, he said, "You know we do," and gave him a kiss.

'I struggled to understand my feelings for a long time. You were a teammate. You were a friend. You were an enemy. You were a king.

Your eyes speak more than your mouth. I think I understand them now.

We are together. There are no secrets between us. You know me as deeply as I know you and we are happy. Is this what you dreamed?

We made a path together. We walk together. I made a decision and I fought for it. Now I can say this.

King Jinheung. Sammaekjong. Jidwi. I love you. I love you. I love you.'

…

…

fin