The Path that I Choose
This is the path that I choose to be with you.
Timeline: After Sreg arc (even thoughit's not over yet, this story keep spinning in my head lol)
Spoiler up to chapter 85
I feel like it's been a while to see Zen's face. It really has been a while. A year to be precise. We not yet met again after the Clarines' night banquet a year ago when I tried to persuade Sir Lata Forzeno to teach me about his mineral's research. We only exchanged letter through the year until the recent incident in Sreg happened. When Zen finally back from Sreg, he has His Majesty Izana's permission to meet me in Lyrias before back to Wistal castle after he reported it to Her Highness Haruto in Willant castle regarding Sreg. I'm taking a mental note to thank king Izana for his generosity, even though I know he wouldn't need it.
I'm also glad to see Mitsuhide, Obi, and Kiki again. At the evening, we had dinner and drink together. Our little party to celebrate their homecoming to Wistal and my research about Olin Maris (even though it's almost done, it's yet far from over), was lively. I just realized how much I miss them all.
"I'm happy that everything has been resolved." I said.
"Yeah, even though this will lead a very exhausting time to make reports and meetings afterwards." Zen said.
"I can imagine that, Master." Obi said with laugh.
"Well, it can't be helped, I guess." Mistsuhide said with a little smile.
Kiki only sip her drink with cool face.
That incident had tainted his reputation, I wonder what Mitsuhide would do about it. Maybe that was Zen's words mean about "a very exhausting meeting".
We continued our conversation with lighter topic and catch up with each other lives. After all, they're only allowed in Lyrias only for one night. They will be back tomorrow morning to continue their trip to Wistal. Such a very short time, but I couldn't ask for more.
We ended our little celebration rather early because Zen wanted to talk to me, alone. Mitsuhide, Kiki, and Obi already understood and only waved their good night. Mitsuhide, as always reminding Zen for "not too late because tomorrow we leave early", just like a mother. The short "I know" from Zen and "Don't worry, I make sure he do that" from me with laughter, we were leaving the party and walking towards Pharmacist's building roof.
Even though it's not really late at night, there were no many people in the road towards building. This building is always full of high spirited researchers so no wonder most of people still in their research room or lab in this time.
We still couldn't walk hand in hand because I'm still Clarines kingdom's Pharmacist and Herbalist, and now one of Olin Maris's researcher, meaning still Zen's "nobody". I feel fine with it because this is the path that I choose to be with Zen in the future. I'm willing to work harder and wait a little longer to do that. I know Zen also feels the same.
As we arrived in the roof, we just silently see the illuminating lights from city while our shoulder touch.
I will remember this moment.
Suddenly Zen's left hand took my right hand and pulled me into his arms. I listened closely to his gradually quickened heartbeat and closed my eyes. We stood still for a moment then Zen lift my face, a silent plea to meet with his eyes. I stared at his too beautiful blue eyes and suddenly felt the urge cry. I just missed him so much.
"Shirayuki…" his soft voice called my name. I like it very much when he said my name. I gave him a little smile as a cue for my silent approval. I knew what he wanted because I wanted it too.
His face came closer and closer to mine. His soft lips touched mine with very slight touch at first, as if he afraid that I would break. I tugged his clothes to encourage him and he deepened the kiss. I surrendered into his touch and lifted my hands to touch his hair. We really missed each other. It felt so long since we kissed and we enjoyed each other touch for a while. I didn't remember how that hesitant kiss became something more because I felt harder and harder to breath. And his touch was hot. I felt his tongue licked my bottom lips and I gasped. His warm tongue invade my mouth while his right hand cradle my head and his left hand pulled me closer to his body.
It felt so wrong and yet so right. I couldn't make up my mind about this.
I felt the hard concrete of roof's fence as his body trapped mine. As we continued, my feet gradually felt so weak. I collapsed and took Zen's body with me into the floor. As I thought, I still couldn't get used to his kisses after all this time. I think that makes Zen realized what he just did and pulled his lips away from mine, then put his forehead into mine. I didn't tear my eyes from his as we catch our uneven breath. I savor the moment when I clearly heard our loud and fast heartbeat.
"I think we should stop." he said with smile and what I catch from his voice, he rather didn't want to.
"Ye-yeah… I think we should…" I replied with a small voice and very hot face. I admitted for a bit that I didn't want to stop either. But that was become a secret for now.
Zen took a seat beside me while he watched the clear night sky as I watched his face. The dim lights from the building's light and the moon didn't fail me to read his face. I saw a contradict line between worries and content in his face. After a while, his eyes meet again with me and his hand pulled me closer to his body. I put my head on his shoulder and my hand into his chest. We turn into silent again to feel each other presence.
"You know, I'm really glad that I could hear your heartbeat right know." I said as I no longer could hide it in my chest.
"Me, too. I'm glad that I could hold you in my arms right now." I felt his lips touch my hair when he murmured that.
"I've been so scared when I heard something was going on in Sreg from Obi. As much as I know being royalties always shadowed with being targeted, I couldn't help but worry. Sorry for being so weak." I continue. For the last 20 years being alive with rare red-haired apple, I know that feeling too well. Even though me and Zen have different reason, we both know it's very inevitable for not to worry about future. But we ignore that fact and just live our life as much as we could.
Zen caressed my hair and said, "You don't have to feel sorry. Because I was scared too if I couldn't see your face anymore at that time. I also worried about Mitsuhide and Kiki, they hurt so much because of this incident. My head boiled when I heard the truth of what the head of Bargatt house did. He hurt many innocent people with his ambition and in the end he got what he deserved."
I felt anger in his voice when he mentioned the head of Bargatt house and a tinge of regret when he mentioned MItsuhide and Kiki. I knew he hurt too. His precious friends had been hurt again, because of his position. I also knew that he never regretted for being a prince. He shouldn't have, even I felt glad that he is a prince. Because after all, we wouldn't meet if the otherwise. I pulled my body closer and I hugged him tighter to calm him, to make sure everything is okay now and it will be. He continue caressing my hair as if he agreed with my reassurance.
As if he wanted to change the subject of what happened in Sreg, he asked about my life in Lyrias for recently instead. I played along and told him the one that I haven't told him yet. I understood Zen sometimes like that, he tried to distract himself from his wounds. I turned to ask him about his days in castle and about Her Highness Haruto in Willant. We talked for about an hour or so and after I embarrassingly sneezed on his face, he decided to call it a night while laughing.
I admitted, it was a bit cold (because we seat on the concrete floor and we are in Lyrias, this city always feels cold even though it's not winter), but Zen's body was so warm and comfortable. As much as I didn't want to leave yet, I know I should because I also have to work tomorrow morning too after Zen leave. King Izana wanted his presence immediately to sort everything out after the incident, Zen said.
Zen walked with me until in front of my room. We also talked as we walk to my room. I always felt that I could talk about everything to Zen and it seemed never enough time to do that.
As we arrived in front of my room, I hesitated to come in. I felt Zen hand touched my finger to remind me that I should open that door. I opened it a bit then I turned my body to face Zen. He seemed a bit startled with my action.
"I'll tell you again, I'm glad that you're the second prince of Clarines and I will always feel that way. I will always become your ally no matter what happen in the future. I might be hurt to be by your side, but I know it's really worth it. I love you and it won't ever change. This is the path that I choose and I want to believe in what we had until now." I said it without any hesitation, and continued with smile "And I believe Mitsuhide, Kiki, and Obi also feel the same."
He stared at my eyes and he opened his mouth a bit, tried to search the right words. Decided that he couldn't speak after hearing my declaration, he hugged me tight, not even worry someone would see us.
"Thank you, Shirayuki… I love you too and always will. You are so precious for me. Mitsuhide, Kiki, and Obi also. I will protect this with all my power." He softly whispered in my ears. I hugged him back and felt the storm finally turn into a clear sky. I will protect you as long as I live, the oath that I intend to keep when I took Zen hand for the very first time.
He softly kissed my forehead and smiled. "Good night, see you tomorrow."
"Good night to you too. See you tomorrow." I said with smile. I know tomorrow will be a sunny day.
AN: Thank you for reading! I'm not really sure about the timeline though, but according to Zen in chapter 73, it seems Shirayuki already spent 2 years Lyrias. In my interpretation, she has completed 2 years training in Lyrias from Garack, but she hasn't completed the mission to spread the Olin Maris along the northern base that Izana gave to Shirayuki in chapter 67