I OWN NOTHING

I love Skullgirls, make no mistake about it. This seemed like a good excuse to get that out.

XXXXXX

"Another failed experiment…"

"It's fine. We knew that fruit wouldn't work."

"The one who got it was a strong girl, though."

"Her power really didn't measure up to it."

"True, but… the boy who is unknowingly fighting to stop her resurrection..."

"Hmm? What of him?"

"How about we change his fate a little?"

"It'd be interesting, given what power he has to stick to his beliefs."

"Exactly it. What would it be if he got a push from the worst of the worst?"

"You do know that boorish Uchiha clan have abused their gifts for too long."

"Let them fall down, after all, this is all a game to us."

"But he's kind of cute, too cute to fall to their hands."

"He is smart, after all he's been and seen."

"You could say the same of the Uchiha boy."

"He isn't needed. His lack of vision is a big flaw, he switched sides often because he could never see beyond what was inches from his face."

"True, and while the Uzumaki boy stuck to his ideals, he evolved in ways that defied his world's. Well then, let's change fate with their final clash."

"This should be fun!"

XXXXXX

"It's been a year, huh?"

At the end of the day, Naruto wasn't sure what to expect.

Obito and Madara rested in a pool of their blood after Naruto beat them. The blond's right arm was mangled beyond recognition, his heartbeat was slowing down, and Kaguya and Sasuke didn't make things easy. He could only sit at the Valley of the End, sighing at the sight of the defeated last Uchiha. The dark eyed boy's eyes had no life to them, and his left arm and most of his torso had become a pool of blood and gore.

Or rather, those were the events of a year ago. At the moment he learned to not question the changes in his life, because it was probably for the best after everything that happened. It beyond bizarre for him when he arrived to the city called New Meridian. Though, considering he fought a goddess capable of shifting dimensions, he shouldn't be that surprised.

When he woke up, he found himself in a new city. After bumping into the first officer and a quick trip to the emergency room, he had been interrogated left and right. Some good calls, people shifting responsibility about the mysterious boy found half-dead in a dark street, and no match in the files of missing people left him in the orphanage. And being sixteen years old at the time wasn't something that gained him favors.

People stared at him with curious looks. Intense therapy in the hospital didn't allow him to eat much, so he had gotten rather scrawny after losing all of his baby fat. His skin remained tanned, his birthmarks still brought attention, and his eyes kept that odd mischievous spark in them. Noticeably to him, his hair had grown and reached to his chin. Even more outstanding was what happened to his right arm.

But above all he had to be thankful for a simple fact, if he hadn't been as tough as he was then he'd be a ward of the state and that wasn't exactly a good idea for a lot of reasons.

He had seen the seedy underbelly of New Meridian at the orphanage he had been placed in. The place was little more than a training ground for the Medici mafia. Kids there were raised with utmost loyalty to the "kind" people who paid for their education, training, and upkeep. He had been considered little more than baggage by the orphanage owners, and worthless trash by the other kids for being weak.

He got his share of shitty treatment until he kicked the living hell out of the top dog there, a shoo-in to join the Cirque Des Cartes, when the said top dog tried to pick a fight with the cripple. That day he had had enough of the crap the bullies were giving him, especially when they called his mother a slag who hadn't wanted him. Their expressions were priceless when he decided to be serious.

Despite his seemingly weak frame from the extreme ordeal he went through in the war and the recovery at the hospital, he had torn through them using only taijutsu, and a crippled style at that. Following that brawl, he certainly made them back the hell away from him, but he cursed his rashness now that he had gone and showed off like he had.

He had gotten more than enough attention from the inquisitive mafia. If he hadn't been able to get away the very next day to get his own pad, he knew that stunningly attractive member of the circus would've recruited him right off the bat. And more than likely have broken him in to make sure he knew whose "kindness" he lived off of.

That Cerebella chick was hot as love, but he sure as hell didn't want to be under her care or closer to the mafia than he wanted. Part of being in an orphanage full of crooked caretakers, and about the only positive thing there, was his need for education. Mainly to do what you must to get you out of said orphanage or, in case of some places the Medici tend to visit often, to do what the bosses say.

Thus, much to his dismay, he had been enrolled to one of the city's schools.

Brushing off his pains, he made his way forward, "Just another year and I can leave school, look for a job, and perhaps a proper house rather than a rundown tenement... and get some answers of how I ended up here." He said to himself with a tired smile before shifting a long case on his back, which to anyone it'd look perfect to keep a fishing rod, or so they'd think.

He currently wore a pair of black school pants kept in place with a brown belt, brown school shoes with no laces, a white button-up long sleeved shirt with the top two buttons undone, and a black school jacket. Said jacket was worn over his right shoulder like a cape, hiding what happened to his right arm from view while his left arm rested inside its designated sleeve.

His thoughts ended when he was called, and he chuckled as he was passed by a few schoolgirls, "Naru! Naruto!" they cheered as he arrived, swarming around the slim but athletic five foot and seven inches blond.

A breeze made the jacket's loose sleeve flow along the girls' short skirts, but they didn't seem to mind as they followed him, "Hey Naru, want to walk home with me after classes?" one asked.

"Naru, you ought to eat lunch with me! I've made something good for you!" another said excitedly.

One growled, "Hey, get away from him, No Boobs!"

"Shut it, Ugly!"

"No Boobs!"

"Ugly!"

"No Boobs!"

"U-"

"Hey, where did he go?!"

The girls looked around, finding no hair or hide from the blond. Said boy sighed as he sat on top of a roof five stories away from the girls, "Whatever kind of city this is, it sure is a nice change of pace… Girls are still scary, though." He brought his left hand up to slick his hair back, then messing it again by ruffling it, "I should look for a way home or perhaps answers of what brought me here… Shikamaru would know."

Patting his face with his only hand, he shook the thoughts away and turned around to look for his school.

Along the way towards it, he grinned slightly as he saw one of the first friends he actually made in the city, one of the few friends he actually had really.

She was an extremely attractive young girl, roughly a year younger than he was, clad in the usual uniform of their school. She possessed lovingly plump thighs that many had fantasized squeezing once or twice clad in black knee high socks. Her behind was somewhat flabby but not overly so, giving her just the right amount of chunk to be squishy and soft to the touch.

Her breasts were easily her biggest attribute, being well shaped, large, and utterly nice to look at. Down her back went a black mane of hair with odd spikes and curls to it that sometimes gave off the feeling of a face to him. Her eyes were unique red orbs, filled with genuine empathy and kindness that had him stunned at first as he had never seen such sincere concern before aimed towards someone she had just met.

The two had quickly became close and he gladly took on the role of her best friend, something she had found very delightful.

"Yo!" he said upon landing behind her, getting the girl to jump a bit, her cute bowl hat also going up a few inches.

"Ah, please don't do that!" she exclaimed with a hand to her chest, taking a deep breath.

He ruffled his hair, "Sorry, I couldn't help myself. You're not like most girls here, Filia."

The girl smiled, "You're also very eccentric yourself, Naruto." Looking around a question came to mind, "No fans this time?"

"Better that way, don't you think?" he said simply, "Not to be mean, but you girls are scary or plain weird at times. At least most that I've met." He said, pulling out his only visible five fingers, "Back home there was this girl who punched me when I bothered her with dates, this cute but odd girl who followed me around, and a downright creepy sadistic lady that liked my blood."

"You've complained about them, but I'd be glad the girls here treat you better." The red eyed girl commented.

He nodded with a grim expression on his face, "Yeah, but they're kinda clingy. I mean, I don't think I'm like one of those poster boys that strike it big in the city. Or am I?"

She giggled, "You do have that harmless innocent boy look on you."

"Ugh… Can't you say I'm manly at least?" he groaned, "Like, oh Naruto, you're so heroic looking that it's no wonder girls are after you… You know?"

She shook her head with a smile, "Nope, I don't. But thank you, you're the best source of comedy I've had in quite some time."

Naruto arched a brow, "How would you know? You lost your memories, right?"

She nodded because, despite his lack of tact, she had gotten used to his outburst, and he was always well-meaning. Besides, her amnesia was used in school in far less friendly manners, at least until a friend took care of it. After recollecting her thoughts and focusing on the admittedly dim but well-meaning boy, she replied with a small smile.

"I doubt I'd ever be able to forget someone like you, even if I wanted to." She got the desired result of seeing him cringe.

"Wow… I think I actually felt insulted." He scratched the back of his head, "Or was that a compliment?"

She giggled, "Naruto, never change…"

He chuckled, "If you say so."

Looking at the school, Filia had to suppress a shudder when some girls glared at her. She felt some of their eyes gazing at any part that her shirt exposed of her stomach with disgust. Self-conscious of her weight but not ashamed, she did her best to ignore the looks. Naruto for his part remained close to her, not saying a thing, but his expression said he knew. His face did turn cold, but there was no hatred, more like irritation.

"Seriously, why are they so into you?" Filia asked.

Naruto shrugged, "I was about to ask you. Since you're the only girl that hangs with me without bringing me trouble, got any ideas of why they do that?"

Filia put a finger to her chin as she thought it over, "It is hard to tell. Maybe they do like your whole bad boy vibe?"

"Bad boy?" Naruto asked, nearly grunting, "Ugh… Is it some rumor? Something I should be worried?"

"Well, everyone knows you are the only boy to stand up to the Medici and say no to them." The red eyed girl said, "It's gotten you some popularity for better or worse. Rumor has it the big man himself wants you."

"And how does that earn me fans?" he had to ask because if the girls wanted a possible gangster he felt really disturbed by the female way of seeing beauty.

"I think that it's because you're strong, stronger than you show others." Was all she said before smiling at him, "Or perhaps it has something to do with the danger, the thrill of dating a guy whose life is dangerous. You know, like my favorite novels where a girl with a plain life finds a handsome guy who takes her on adventure. It's cliché, but, well, it's oddly enjoyable." She had a slightly dreamy look.

"Sounds like something that sage would write." He thought out loud, "Only that what you probably read isn't… Never mind." He knew mentioning details of the old man's books would get him negative friend points.

"Isn't what? Come on, tell me." She insisted, but they had already made it to school.

"If you want to talk I suggest you do so after class." Said their teacher. Mrs. Victoria was a very beautiful and serious lady with a double-breasted white suit, a black business skirt, and a teacher air around her with her baton and large hair bun. She did have a mature and gorgeous face, a rather voluptuous body that could compare to that of Canopy royalty, and a statuesque presence when she looked down at them.

She topped it all with a nice pair of reading glasses she was adjusting with a look that told Naruto she knew he had done something, "We're not late, are we?" he asked nervously.

"No, but I expect students as good as you, Filia, to not cause some rumors I've heard about." The teacher said, turning her gaze to the worried girl.

"W-What?! I haven't done anything… Nothing that I have memory of-" she squeaked in fear and worry that she may have done something prior to her loss of memories.

Mrs. Victoria's hand on her shoulder halted her rambling, "Do not worry, I am not going to believe or dismiss anything just based on mere testimony. School gossip just leads to media being a pest in the school hall. I have only heard you have been in fights lately. Now, while it is frowned upon in our school grounds, outside of them it's all a matter of whether it was to protect yourself or not."

"Oh… I haven't really fought or hit anyone." She said, not at all lying, "Besides, when I get in trouble, a friend of mine always takes care of it."

The teacher's eyes turned to the blond, making him shudder, "Care to explain?"

"Whoa, it's not like I go picking fights, and… actually, I never really got the chance to fight near Filia- ack!" he bit his tongue when noticing his slip, "N-Not like I want to fight anyone! It's just that people come at me because of my background in the orphanage."

"I see." She said with a deep sigh, "Honestly, while I am glad you two can handle yourselves or have help for such situations, I'd rest at ease if you weren't getting in things that may be over your heads."

"That's kind of the history of my life, teach." Naruto said, before wincing when she smacked her baton on a wall.

"Uzumaki, do not use such lazy slang when addressing a professor. Refer to me as your teacher. But for now, you two would do well in avoiding any more fights. Parents and the staff are worried that you are drawing attention that could harm your schoolmates." She bent her baton a bit in her grip, "Though I'll personally prove anyone who dares think they can harm my students wrong."

With that both teens sat down and classes started with Naruto wondering why in a world as crazy as the one he was things like that just seemed normal.

Oh well, perhaps a nice meal of the best soup he had tasted to give Ichiraku and his ramen some competition would help. Yes, in his time in the bizarre and dangerous city as a one-armed fighter he found a nice joint. The locals around the place were a shock to see at first before he recalled a similar – though admittedly bad – encounter. And the staff had a cute girl that was as kind as Ayame, which was a nice bonus.

When it was lunch time, the blond quickly dashed out of school with his case slung over his shoulder and a grin on his face. On his way out, he found a certain face, "Oh, are you going out for lunch too?" Filia asked with a small smile.

He returned the expression with a nod, "Sure. Care to join me? They got this awesome soup unlike anything I tasted back home."

The girl smiled, "Sure, I could use a change of pace." She admitted, looking at her stomach with a red tint on her cheeks, before shaking her head, "Perhaps on the way back we could try a milkshake at my favorite place, if you want to try something new too."

He ruffled his hair with a sheepish grin, never in his life did he think girls would be this nice to him, "How can I say no? Let's go."

Filia followed him and both made their way around the city, but one question did bother her, "So… You say you're not from this city. What was your home like?" she wanted to break the silence and get to know the odd boy better. He was a goof, but a good kind of goof.

He hummed in thought, "Well… It's kinda like the place we're going to. But it was surrounded by a huge forest." He didn't know what else to say, "I don't really remember much after being here for a year. I do know that at least while there's plenty of bad people here, I've had an easier life when it comes to fighting others. Even with one arm I can still kick ass."

Filia smiled, "And you're also very modest." She joked, getting him to blush.

"Hey, you're supposed to be sweet and tell me something about me being manly." He said with a grimace.

"I'm still not like your fans." She retorted with a playful smile, before noticing, "By the way… Your fans do ask this between themselves, but what's with that case on your back?"

Naruto's face froze for a bit before he hefted it on his shoulder, "Oh, this?" he ruffled his hair again out of habit, "How do I say it? It's perhaps the only memento I have of my house, it's also… something that hurt me. I guess the only reason I keep it around and try to make sure it doesn't break is that, well, it's been helping me ever since I arrived here. I even asked some guy to do some repairs to it and model it to my liking."

Filia nodded, "I see… But, seriously, what is it?"

He chuckled nervously while trying to think of a proper answer, "If I told you and Mrs. Victoria found out what it is I take to school with me I'd get my ear chewed out by her. That's something I really don't want to deal with… Oh, and I may get kicked out, but I really don't want to get on the teacher's bad side."

Filia puffed her cheeks cutely, "Come on, tell me, now you're just making me more curious."

"Oh! We arrived!" he said, pointing forward and dashing off, and then waving at her at the entrance. "Come on, Filia, this place has the best fish soup you'll ever taste in your life! Trust me, I know my soups!"

With a sigh of resignation, knowing he'd avoid saying much, Filia followed in the Asian style restaurant. She was amazed to find that the staff were Dagonians, half-fish and half-human people. The chef seemed to be a short, pudgy catfish with an apron, squinty eyes, a small hat, and cleavers in his hands. He was busy chopping ingredients with great concentration before placing them into a large pot.

Noticing Naruto waving at her, Filia approached him as did a waitress. The waitress was very, very cute, to say the least. She was also a Dagonian, with a long ponytail-like fin sticking out of her head. Her head and arms were covered by dark blue scales with yellow fins on her arms. Her skin was light blue, her eyes wide and colorful, her body petite and yet curvaceous, and a single apron covered her front.

Filia could only guess but the girl seemed to have a short yellow skirt underneath her apron, perhaps accompanied a blue top, but she could tell the waitress had sea shells on her head as accessories. To finish her look the Dagonian girl had white stockings and simple black shoes. Both were at the table in a moment with the waitress helping the schoolgirl sit down with a smile before turning to Naruto.

"Let me guess, you want the beef and fish soup again, right? And extra noodles." The girl said to the blond.

"Please, Minette." He said with a beaming smile.

The Dagonian girl, now identified as Minette, nodded as she wrote down the order before turning to the boy's companion, "Oh hello there, you're a new face. What can I get you?" she offered Filia a menu and stood still, "Take your time, after all, it is your first time here."

"Uh… Oh! I'll have the strawberry sundae!" Filia said before handing Minette the menu, "Uh… please."

Minette just smiled and nodded, "Don't worry if it seems odd to order that here. I suggested it when we noticed some costumers wanted more than just fish." She then turned to the blond, "Though I'm surprised you brought a friend."

He rubbed the back of his head in a mixture of embarrassment and, dare Filia say it, amusement, "Better than the usual kind of people, though. Of course, Filia's always better company than most girls at school."

Said girl giggled, "Wow, if I didn't know any better I'd think you have feelings for me."

Her teasing did get Naruto's cheeks to redden, "Come on, don't say that. The girls at school already come for me because they want some thrill. Besides, I bet any girl would be scared if they saw… well…" His left hand went to his right side where his jacket hid what happened to his limb.

Filia's eyes softened, and Minette beat her to the punch, "Then they'll be missing the cool guy that fights to keep others safe."

The schoolgirl's brows furrowed in intrigue, "So he's been fighting here."

Minette nodded with a bright grin, "He's not the only one, but after he came here listening about how we make great soup, he found some of the Medici. Those guys had been harassing us for some time, but when they saw him, well, I guess if you're his classmate you can see how it ended."

The chef at the counter scoffed, "Not like those Medici grunts change the story. I swear, it's either fights or trying to molest Minette." He held his cleaver when giving the last bit of detail with a dangerous glint in his eyes. It went to show that the Dagonian may be a chef, but he was ready to chop more than vegetables of push came to shove.

However, it didn't calm the red-eyed girl as she looked at the waitress, who shook her head to try to reassure her, "Don't worry. Ever since I'm here I haven't had much trouble but bad pick-up lines. Naruto does take care of some of the Medici every time he comes for a bowl. And then there's my friends here."

"That still… shouldn't happen." Filia said, feeling… angry, like she could and should do something, but it pained her that she wasn't doing a thing.

Seeing that, Naruto spoke, "Hey, Minette, put her strawberry sundae on me… What am I saying? Bring her as many strawberry sundaes as she wants and put them on me. And two, no, three large bowls for me."

Giggling softly, Minette left while Filia blushed, "Hey, you shouldn't do-"

"But I want to, isn't that reason enough?" he replied, before shaking his head, "Sorry, I don't know how to deal with girls and… Just take it, I can tell you need the food. Besides, I did offer you to come here, so enjoy yourself. I'd feel bad if this made you feel bad one way or another, and really, the last thing I want is one of the few people who is good to me here to be sad. So let's just eat and forget anything sad, ok?"

She nodded, smiling a bit more, "Thank you…" now she recalled why he did get popular. Even if he was a goof, and a cripple, Naruto still tried hard to be good to those that were kind to him.

At the orphanage he fought five teens at least twice his size when they were picking on a girl for a gold watch that used to be of her father. One time he spent an entire night looking for a Teddy bear through the entire city for a small boy who lost it, and found it after capturing the dog that took it. And another time, when the Medici tried to abduct a child, he pretty much sent them back to their boss with broken teeth.

That did get him trouble, yet he seemed unaffected by it. Of course, that made people wonder just how strong he really was when the boy was supposed to be a one-armed cripple. But another thing Filia had to admit was that when he tried he was a really good friend to have around. And there was nothing that'd make her want to change that.

It also made a certain person look in interest at the odd pair, "How cute… How sickeningly cute." Said a pair of lips painted green with a fake smile, "So sweet I may get diabetes… Hey you two, this the guy… Oh it's him! Hello Whiskers."

The one to speak was a beauty of a girl with a bust a cup bigger than Filia's, a natural dark skin, green hair set in a ponytail, and a very odd outfit. Her curvaceous body was kept inside a diamond themed shoulder-less dress, and her arms were hidden by white sleeves. Thigh-high black booths with the same diamond motif covered her legs, with pointy tips and skulls. She also had a purple diamond tattoo on her face.

On top of her head of natural green hair, was a bizarre orange hat with a skull brooch, which design was used for the accessories that were on her boots. She spoke to two men that had to be gangsters, no doubt. Their outfits, stances, and the way they looked at the Dagonians as if mentally putting a price tag on them gave away they were with the Medici. What also gave it away were their bruises from fighting Naruto.

"Yeah, that brat kicked three of my teeth loose when I asked that waitress for her address." One of the gangsters answered her question.

The girl sneered, "Seriously? You guys got beaten up by him? Wellll…" she stared at him carefully drawling out her next words, "He doesn't seem to have any parasite or special weapon unless that case hides something. But he is the one I've been looking for, so I guess you losing to him makes sense."

The other gangster spoke, "Hey, that girl gives me the creeps. I think I've seen her before, and… that hat and hair…"

The green head scoffed, "No time to worry. I'll get their attention and make a little number to liven up the place. You two can get the waitress for whatever job the boss needs her for. I'll take Whiskers with me, I'm sure Feng will love him."

If it wasn't obvious, the girl was Cerebella, a young lady whose innocence had been tainted by lies of the mafia. Now working as their muscle out of insane devotion, she was blind to their actions. She walked to the table while twirling her hat in one hand, listening in on the conversation as the blond and the girl ate their first plates while the Dagonian girl giggled at something.

Minette was talking to Filia, "…and he actually said something cheesy that came from this show. It was something like, 'I, Naruto Uzumaki, shall protect Minette from you and make you taste justice!' I think."

The blond boy's cheeks grew redder by the second as he ruffled his hair, "Come on, I just wanted to mess with those two for trying to grab your skirt. You don't have to make it sound so embarrassing."

"I hope I'm not interrupting something." Cerebella said as she put on her hat, "Sorry, but I have a bone to pick with you, Whiskers."

Minette's face froze in fear when seeing who it was, Filia's body tensed, and Naruto's hand instinctively went to his case. With a grin, Cerebella had her hat Vice Versa morph, with two large muscular arms the size of her voluptuous body hanging at the sides of her head. She crouched slightly with the hat's hands up, ready for battle as she threw a straight punch at the blond.

Imagine her surprise when her punch was singlehandedly parried by Naruto's hand and a wooden stick. Cerebella's eyes widened, it was a simple cane by the looks of it, a straight wooden piece with a tube shape.

"Dammit, let me guess, you're with the Medici… No, you're that crazy chick who wanted to recruit me!" He growled while keeping her back with his only arm, his only loose sleeve fluttering from the force of her strike.

Cerebella grinned, "Well, you're smart. Too bad I have to knock some sense into you. 'Pologies Whiskers, but you had to come in some time!"

She pulled one of her hat's arm's back for another punch, and watched part of his cane fall down. No, it wasn't a cane. What Naruto had in his hand was a straight, single-edged sword with a slender blade. It was a chokuto! The dark skinned girl was surprised when instead of cutting her, the boy sliced a pillar at her side clean in half. It fell down, nearly hitting her and smashing down the two gangsters that came with her.

He sighed tiredly, "Can't believe I have to use that guy's sword to save my hide yet again…" he growled before kicking up the wooden scabbard, flicking his sword hand and sheathing it fully in one swift motion. He then put the sheathed sword on his left hip, holding the blade in an inverted hold while securing it in place thanks to his belt.

Cerebella grinned, "Well, I never had the chance to fight a samurai before. You're just full of all sorts of surprises aren't you Whiskers?"

He chuckled, "Sorry, I ain't no samurai. If anything I think I'd be a ronin given how my life left me here."

Mockingly cooing, Cerebella taunted him with one of her own hands beckoning him to get closer, "Why don't I make it all better with a little nap? I promise! I won't mess you up too bad, you're way too valuable… and cute too."

He looked at her seriously, "I am done shedding tears, and even if I cry I'll wipe my eyes myself, lady. Now, what are you here for? Do you want to take me out, take me in, or get Minette?"

Cerebella cracked Vice Versa's knuckles, "A bit of column A, B, and C. Mainly B, you're the one recruit we missed having in the Cirque. I even picked out your playing card, Ten of Diamonds."

Filia inched closer to Minette, "Is she really with the Medici family?"

Minette nodded solemnly, "It's the first time they send someone like her after Naruto. I guess they finally got impatient."

Hearing that, Naruto grinned at Cerebella, "Just so you know… I'm just picturing the face your boss will make when he hears that his plans of getting me to work for him failed again." He remembered using a similar line against Obito before the fight took a turn for the worst, "All I want to think about is how mad he'll be when knowing all his efforts ruining lives are for nothing!"

Cerebella gritted her teeth, narrowing her eyes at the blond, "You will learn manners, otherwise Feng will be sad to see how your face will end up."

He sneered, "Says the girl that does his job for him. I've seen enough men like the Medici family already, using people as puppets. I bet you everything that if it were him alone, he'd try to run away."

Tired of his words, Cerebella acted instead of saying a thing. Her hat's arms grabbed the pillar Naruto sliced off and threw it at him like a javelin. Filia gasped when seeing the pillar pierce his chest and nail him to the wall. Even more surprising, the dusky skinned muscle of the Medici family also gasped at what she had done with wide, horrified eyes. It took her a second for her anger to turn to horror, and one more to return.

When the pillar fell down, it was accompanied by a log that replaced Naruto's body, "That cheeky-" the acrobat started to say, turning around only to find the boy's right shoe slamming on her face, making her see stars.

"I may have only one arm, but I still got plenty of tricks up my sleeve." He quipped.

Cerebella got up, growling as she grabbed her head, which she felt was spinning despite her grip on it, "Feng, can you get that phone so it stops ringing…?" she mumbled before shaking her head, "Ugh, you… Fine, Whiskers, if you wanna play rough then I'll take you home even if you kick and scream the whole way!"

Filia spoke up, "Shouldn't we help him?" she asked, more than ready to help, but she wasn't asking Minette or any of the clients or staff members.

Nonetheless, without knowing who the question was really directed to, Minette answered, "Don't worry, he does things like this every Monday. Though he'll have to repair that pillar himself."

Both fighters stood on their respective side, keeping their distance while staring at one another. Naruto crouched down slightly while Cerebella looked ready to break some bones. In a split second, Vice Versa's hands grabbed the floor, pulling out a large boulder from beneath her feet and throwing it into the air. What happened next defied logic. Vice Versa punched the boulder so hard it took the shape of a diamond.

Having nothing but one split second to react at the large projectile flying his way, Naruto unsheathed his chokuto, gave a step forward, and brought it down in an arc. Filia watched a golden trail of light in the shape of a crescent moon follow his swing. Cerebella gaped when her rocky projectile was split in two and fell on the floor behind the blond, who once again sheathed his sword while keeping his eyes on her.

"That's on her, right?" the blond asked Minette, who gave a nod, making him sigh in relief with some nervous sweat running down his face, "Good… because I'm not sure how much longer I can keep damage down."

The owner snapped, "Can't you just knock her out?!"

Naruto grimaced, "Easier said than done. I really hoped that kick'd have her out cold. Guess she's tougher than she looks."

"Oh Whiskers, you ain't even started to see what I can do." Cerebella cheered before jumping in the air, Vice Versa using its arms like a plane's wings to help her glide at him. Knowing only more damage would come to the restaurant if they kept fighting, and liking the soup too much, Naruto acted in a split second. Reaching into his jacket, he threw a kunai at the girl, who merely kicked it down.

Subconsciously moving like in many similar dangerous situations, Naruto gave a step forward towards the flying acrobat. Cerebella grinned as she brought back a foot, a sword shooting from her sole before she kicked forward. She had hoped to harm him just enough to knock him down, not out like a light, but still have him down. Once again, he had surprised her, this time by disappearing in a flash of yellow light.

Filia's eyes landed on the kunai he threw, an odd three-pronged throwing weapon that Cerebella landed in front of before looking left and right for the blond. Little did she know that the whiskered boy was right behind her. When the acrobat did turn around after remembering what just happened with the log, it was too late. With his sword fully sheathed, Naruto swung down the wooden weapon on her head.

This time, when Cerebella went down, she didn't get back up. Her face was twisted into a large, dumb smile while colors and figures spun around her eyes.

Sighing in relief, Naruto put his sword back in his belt, "I've seen enough." He told the dizzy acrobat, before mumbling to himself, "Though, really, relying on this sword when my right arm is… Mrs. Victoria said it was called irony, I think."

"Hey… Whiskers… I'm… still not done…" Cerebella groaned while getting up a third time with a grunt, "I still have to teach you some manners…"

Naruto shook his head, "Stop it, I don't even want to fight you. Just so you know, I really do have more tricks up my sleeve, but there's a reason I don't use them." This time his eyes turned deadly serious, "If I have to go all out, I'm afraid you and everyone in my path. That is not a threat; that is a fact."

Gritting her teeth while holding her head with one of her flesh hand, the acrobat growled, "You really I can let you walk away after what you said about Vita-"

Her words died in her throat when Naruto reappeared before her in another golden flash, his blade inches from her neck, "I'll say it again, if he wants to take me down, he better face me himself, otherwise if things get serious you and everyone he sends after me may end up dead."

With a sneer when swearing she could feel the blade's edge on her neck, the green head stepped back, "This isn't the last you see of me." She gave the ever popular all recurrent villains used when having to run off.

Sheathing his sword yet again, this time Naruto panted heavily as he clutched his right side, "D-Damn it… I can't get angry, even if it's a bastard like Vitale…" he muttered under his breath, "Calm… Calm down…"

A gentle hand on his shoulder got him to gasp, melting all of his previous anger, "Please tell me what's going on." Filia pleaded.

He gave her a weak, trembling smile as he controlled his breathing, "S-Sorry… if I get too excited in a fight or too angry, I may lose myself… I guess that's the bad boy side girls shouldn't be after."

His attempt to joke in order to make things seem of a lighter tone didn't stop her from pouting at him, "You have a lot to explain."

Grinning with some effort, he shot back, "I could say the same about you, given the fact people have seen you fight with these guys."

She blushed, looking down, "It's… It's not as bad as you, though." She tried to counter, but it didn't work.

"Don't worry, I have it under control." He replied before standing to his full height, breathing evenly once again before smiling to his classmate, "See? Nothing to worry about. But, sorry. I just use this when I fight really dangerous guys. It's been a while, but it's never caused me any trouble. Besides, you've seen me fight, I could probably beat the entire Medici with only my sword and nothing else."

She pouted even more, "Just! Just! Just don't do anything that'd get you hurt!" she said, unsure of what to really say to the stubborn boy, "I bet there's people that care about you, like Minette here and I too! If you just get yourself in trouble, then we'll worry. Right?!"

The Dagonian waitress felt flustered when the two's eyes landed on her, "I… I'd rather sit this one out, but…" she blushed even more before averting her gaze, "I would worry, yes. I mean, he may be a regular costumer, but I couldn't help but worry if a good person got hurt."

Pumping up her fists with a determined nod, Filia turned back to the flabbergasted blond, "See?! That's why you can't tell me to not worry, because there's bound to be someone to worry about you. Whether you have your memories and family or not, there's bound to be someone you're looking after or that is looking after you."

Naruto was stunned into silence, his mind unable to make a coherent sentence for a good ten seconds, "I…" And that was when the two students heard their school's bell ringing, making them stiffen and simultaneously curse, "Dammit, lunch is over!" Naruto swore before running off with Filia close behind.

Minette just stared into the distance, mouth agape, "What just… happened?"

Her boss shrugged, "Seems to me like the mood had to be killed. They were getting too sappy."

The waitress scolded the chef with her stare and voice, "Boss! They were trying to be serious, don't just… Do you even understand a girl's heart?"

The catfish shrugged, "What part of that had a girl's heart? I just saw two kids arguing over one of them being reckless."

This time Minette pouted, her cheeks puffing adorably as she stomped her foot and left, "Forget it, I shall talk with Nadia about this, at least she'll understand."

Deeply sighing, the small chef just gave up, "Ugh, it's like my father used to say… We men aren't meant to understand women from the start, we're meant to try and learn through many failures."

True words of wisdom.

XXXXXX

And that's my rap!

I hope you enjoyed it. I've been a big fan of Skullgirls since it came out, and I've always wanted to do something with it. After doing my fic Pride of a loser this idea started to grow on me due to the cool one-armed samurai stereotype.

Here, as you can see, something is wrong with Naruto's right arm. He can use jutsus, but, of course, he has his own issues he will have to overcome if he wishes to help his new friends.

Also, I'm on board on the idea of Filia being a tad chunky but lovingly plumpy. As in she's not obese yet also not skinny, just the right amount of meat in her bones. Hey, I'd take a woman with some flab over skinny supermodel wannabes any day of the week.

Swordslinger out!