He had no idea how she had talked him into a double date in the woods. What kind of double date involved camping in the freaking woods? This one apparently. She had claimed it would be a good time. But really? What she should've said during the pitch was that it'd be fun for her. Dillon was having no fun at all. He was in the woods with Maxie, Maxie's doctor boyfriend Matt, and some creepy doctor from GH. He should've said no soon as Maxie said she was emotionally troubled. But no, he'd said yes like a good friend would.

Ironically, they weren't even really friends! She just picked at his faults till he felt so badly about himself that he would agree. Maxie-1 and Dillon-0. The woods was no place for someone like him. He relied on technology to live his life. He couldn't watch movies on trees and bushes while powered by acorns and berries. They were staying overnight. They'd roasted marshmallows and then Matt and Maxie had snuck off to skinny dip. Lovely image. So he'd been stuck with Dr. Crazy Eyes. She was eyeing him like she wanted to eat him alive. Oddly, he wasn't okay with that.

"Listen...I'm sure that you're a great girl and all. But I'm.." he trailed off. He needed something to say. I'm gay. I'm allergic? Allergic to sex?! What was he? The boy in the bubble? Maybe, he could refer to the patented movie cliche of it's not you-it's me. Before he could finish, she pounced on him and Dillon fell back and over the log onto the ground. All he felt under him were twigs, wet leaves, and acorns. He thought that he at the moment literally had a stick up his ass. The woman continued her assault on him and he finally pushed her off. "No" he panted, before wiping her scarlet lipstick from his face.

"No?" She asked, before raising an eyebrow.

"No. I said no. I barely know you and you're ramming your tongue down my throat"

"Most men like that" She commented, angrily.

"Yeah, well-I'm not most. I'm a hopeless romantic and I don't sleep with strange women" He mumbled.

She got to her feet and stomped off to Matt's tent in a huff. He'd pay for that later. Fifteen minutes later Matt and Maxie showed up. At first, he thought that he was off the hook. But, twenty minutes after that? Maxie was in his tent.

"Maxie? Get out"

"Uh, no. Hello-I have nowhere else to go thanks to your romantic spirit" She told him, clearly annoyed, before she rolled her eyes.

He propped himself up on the pillow and stared at her for a long moment. "What do you mean you have nowhere else to go?"

Maxie plopped down on top of her hot pink sleeping bag and glared at him. "Matt is mad at me. Scratch that, Matt is furious with me for setting you and Lisa up. Something about how he knew it wouldn't work and she's weeping like a twelve year old girl"

Dillon was confused to say the least. "He wanted me to sleep with her?"

Maxie made a face at the images in her head of Dillon and Lisa going at it like rabbits. She gagged for a moment. "Yeah, he wanted you to like her and you know I guess charm the crazy out of her. But Dillon-like..I don't think even you could beat the crazy out of this one. I think she's a bona fide bunny boiler. But Matt is all good samaritan and wants me to be nice to her" She rolled her eyes. "I swear if that psychotic bitch comes in here and chops me into pieces? Oh ho, my spirit is so haunting the both of you forever!"

Dillon looked at her as if she were crazy. "She seemed a little-eager. But I sincerely doubt that Lisa Niles is some sort of axe murderer" He told her, skeptical at best. "I mean what evidence do you even have?" He asked, curiously.

Just as they were about to get into a discussion of Lisa's sanity in their patented banter. Dillon's eyes went wide as he stared at Maxie's shoulder. The thing was huge. It had hairy legs and he could've swore that he saw fangs. FANGS. IT HAD FANGS. "Uh...Maxie.."

She looked at him with her overused irritated expression. "Yes, Dillion?" She asked, knowing he hated being called that.

At the moment, he didn't much care what she called him considering what was on her. "Don't freak out. But there's a spider on your shoulder"

"There's what?! Get it off! Ew! Get it off!" She exclaimed.

"Get it off?! I'm not touching that thing. It's got FANGS, Maxie. Better it eat you than me"

"Dillon! Get it off! Get it off! I'm going to kill you unless you get this thing off!"

Dillon looked around the tent for something to get rid of the overly large spider with. He sure as hell wasn't about to touch it with his hands. He'd get bitten by it and then die a slow and painful death while Maxie laughed. Dillon's eyes fell upon the latest issue of Crimson magazine. Maxie would surely kill him later for using her bosses baby to kill the spider. Oh well.

"What are you waiting for, Dillon?! Kill it already!"

He picked up the magazine and rolled it in his hands. Dillon turned and in one swift motion swung the magazine directly at the spider. The spider went flying into the back of the tent and Maxie began to scream bloody murder.

"Stop screaming, I got it!" Dillon said, surprised that he'd actually managed. He didn't have the greatest aim in the world. He let out a laugh of relief that lasted for all of twenty seconds before he saw Maxie's expression. Shit, she looks pissed.

"You hit me! You hit me! I'm going to kill you!" She yelled, before tackling Dillon to the floor of the tent.

He had died and clearly gone to hell. There was no way this was his life. He was on his back and in a tent with Maxie straddling him and throwing punches.

"Maxie! Stop it! I only hit the spider once. Not the face!"

"You hit me! You moron!" She yelled, in between hits.

Why was he taking this? Sure, he was not Jason Morgan in terms of muscles. But he had more than enough to get Maxie's stick frame off of him. He realized that he must secretly like her beating him. He'd need to seek a mental professional soon as they got back to town. Dillon pushed her off of him and stopped the assault on his face and various other parts of his body.

Maxie landed with a thud next to him and before she could say anything a look of confusion crossed her features at a sound. It sounded like a scream or a groan. It didn't sound good, period. "W-what was that?"

"It was nothing, Maxie. It's probably an animal dying. We are in the woods, after all"

"Dillon, I know what an animal sounds like and that was not it! Why are you so stupid for?!"

Dillon got to his feet and exited the tent. She was clearly insane. He was not stupid. "Maxie-it's nothing. I see nothing. I'll go ask Matt if he heard it. He might not be mad at you anymore" He called as he headed for the tent.

Maxie heard a noise and ran out after him, quickly. She ran right into his back. "Ow"

"What the hell"

"I heard a noise" She whined.

Dillon rolled his eyes. "Fine" He replied before he stopped in front of Matt's tent. He opened the flap and took a step inside. "Holy..."