Christine took a sip from her mug of hot chocolate, the marshmallows tickling her nose a bit, as she settled back in the plush sofa. She hadn't expected the summons to Vulcan, but when Amanda had insisted she needed someone to visit with her for Christmas, since Sarek would be away on official business, she had found she couldn't say no. An added bonus was that she was away from the Enterprise for a week, and could sort out her feelings in private.
Ever since Doctor Lester had almost destroyed Captain Kirk, he and Spock had been even closer, as if neither could stand to be apart from each other, and she was feeling decidedly left out. Which was odd, since she had never really wanted attention from the captain, though she never minded getting it from Spock. Sighing lightly, Christine set her mug on the side table before curling up in a corner of the sofa and letting her eyes close heavily.
The next thing she knew, she was waking up to the sound of sleigh bells, and she sat up with a confused frown on her lips as she looked around for the source of the sound. "What?" she breathed out when she saw that someone was sitting in the driver's seat of a sleigh with four sehlats pulling it.
"We're going on a sleigh ride! I have to make due with changing some Earth traditions, since horses would never survive on Vulcan. This is the next best thing, my dear." Amanda gave her a warm smile as she held out her hand and helped Christine to her feet. The older woman tucked Christine's hand into the crook of her arm as they approached the sleigh and stepped into it. "All right, dear, we're ready to go."
"Yes, Mother."
Christine gasped as she realized just how was beneath the hood in front of them. "I, I didn't know that you would be here, as well, Commander Spock," she said, hoping that she didn't sound as inane as she imagined those words to sound.
"Yes, well, Mother summoned me home to Vulcan for the holiday, and I only just arrived. I had a few things to take care of with Jim before I was able to leave. Though she failed to inform me that you would be here as well, Nurse Chapel."
"Oh, please, Spock! This is the holiday season, and you're not on that ship of yours! Be a little less formal, call her Christine. After all, you just called your captain by his given name." Christine flushed a little at the vehemence in Amanda's voice, wondering where that had come from. She could almost feel the exasperation roll off Spock in waves as Amanda made herself more comfortable on the seat of the sleigh. "And at least you made it in time for Christmas dinner."
Ever so slightly, Spock's shoulders slumped as he gave a small nod. "I would not have missed it for the world, Mother," he dryly replied as he commanded the sehlats to move out. The wind whipping across her face almost reminded her of the Christmases spent at home, in the woods, and she struggled to keep from crying with nostalgia. "You do not have to shield your feelings around us, Christine. Mother is human after all."
His all too casual manner of addressing her hurt a little, and she frowned as she settled back against the seat, staring out at the passing countryside and deliberately not saying a word to either of them, knowing that she had been maneuvered into an untenable situation by Amanda, and was not welcome in Spock's childhood home. The first tears began to tremble on the corner of her eyes, and she blinked rapidly to keep them from falling, refusing to be weak and clingy in front of the Vulcan.
The countryside really was beautiful, and she was grateful for the opportunity to see it, as she might never get back there in her lifetime. Feeling Amanda's hand on her shoulder, she turned to look at the woman, knowing that she couldn't conceal how red-rimmed her eyes were, even if she wasn't crying openly. The older woman pursed her lips a little as she shook her head, clasping Christine's hand tightly as she smiled at her. "We're going to go past my favorite feature on our land. Look."
Amanda pointed to two trees that had been growing together, almost seeming to form a heart, and Christine sighed a little as she nodded. It really was a lovely thing to see, but she had no idea why Amanda was showing it to her. Though she didn't protest when the woman pulled her closer to her side, bringing her head down to rest on Amanda's shoulder as they started back towards the house. Once back, Spock let them off by the garden where he had picked them up, and she stumbled over to the couch, hoping beyond hope that Amanda and Spock would leave her be until dinner time.
That was not to be, as Amanda took a seat next to her, though she remained quiet, as if wanting Christine to speak first. "Why did you ask me here?" she finally asked, unable to keep the question inside any longer.
"Because even though I'm not a Betazoid, I can still read people. There's bad blood between you and Spock, and I want to nip this in the bud before it gets worse. He cares for you."
"No, he cares for Captain Kirk. I am merely a fly in the ointment, an irritant that he can't seem quite able to get rid of. And I have to learn how to move on. To put aside the feelings that I have for him and find a way to live."
"You love him."
"My love would never be enough, and I think you know that."
"I do, because I love Sarek. The way we express love is so emotive, compared to a Vulcan, even if we try to keep it restrained around them. And yes, I am playing matchmaker here, if my son will listen to me. But you both deserve a chance at happiness."
Christine nodded as she drew her legs up to her chest, staring out at the horizon. A soft cough caught her attention, and she looked up to see Spock standing there, looking steadily at his mother. "Dinner is ready, if you would care to join me."
Amanda stood and smiled as she reached out to pat Spock's shoulder. "Be a dear and help Christine to her feet, Spock. I'll be inside making certain the table looks right."
And then, they were alone, and Christine tried not to focus on the fact that her hands were shaking as she reached out to him, allowing him to tug her to stand. "I have a perfectly good working body, Spock, you didn't need to listen to your mother."
"She would have known, and then it would have been awkward, to say the least. Shall we?"
He didn't let go of her hand as they went inside, and she tried to act casual about the touch, even though it thrilled her heart. To her surprise, they bypassed the large formal dining room, and she was led into an intimate dining room, that was clearly meant for family use. "I, I didn't realise that we'd be alone for this dinner. I assumed there would be others."
"No, this is usually a family day. So the fact that you've been invited to it speaks volumes, or so Leonard would say." She nodded a little, again, hurt by the words Spock said. A large part of her wanted to believe that he didn't mean to be cruel, and yet, he was. "Christine."
She stopped and looked into his eyes, feeling like she was drowning in their dark depths. "Yes, Spock?"
"I am glad that you are here, and I do not mean to hurt you. You are a kind, good, person, and you deserve to be with someone who shines just as much as you."
She smiled sadly as she reached up to touch his cheek, hoping that he wouldn't mind the impertinence of the touch. "You shine, too, you know. It might not be the same light as mine, I've always felt like moonlight, shining back the rays of the sun. And at first, I thought Roger was that sun. Being around you, though? Has made me question that. And I don't know how much longer I can be on the Enterprise in the presence of that sun."
Her chest was tight with unuttered cries, and then he was reaching out to caress her cheek with one hand, sweeping away some of those tears. "I will never be able to offer you the same sort of relationship that someone like Jim or Leonard could."
"And I don't think that I want that sort of relationship. I want something difficult, something worth the struggle, someone who can see me. Of all the men I've ever known, you are the only one who has truly seen my inner being. And maybe we wouldn't be together for the rest of my life, maybe it would only be for a short time, but I would dearly love the opportunity to be yours, on whatever terms you would have me."
She didn't quite know why truth was pouring from her lips so freely, but once she started speaking, it was like she couldn't stop. Breaking eye contact with Spock, she tried to move away from him and head over to the table, only for him to tighten his grip around her waist as he continued to look at her. "I am no sun."
"You are my sun," she whispered brokenly, feeling her heart break as she started to openly cry.
"Oh, Christine," he said quietly as he leaned down and pressed his lips to the crown of her head. "I will be your sun, for a season. I just need to make certain that Jim is all right after the incident with Doctor Lester. Give me one month's time?"
"Yes. Oh, yes, Spock," she whispered as she lifted her head to look into his eyes once more. He was actually smiling gently at her, looking so much like his mother in that moment, and she pursed her lips together as she swallowed thickly, struggling to hold on to her quickly fraying emotions. "Thank you for making this a happy, golden, end to my day." He gave her a small nod before dipping his head down low and kissing her softly. It was sweet and perfect, and in that moment, it was everything she needed that Christmas.