-During the battle of Hogwarts the Dementors wanted to join the party as it seemed much more fun than skulking round Azkaban kissing ugly death eaters all day ( I mean have you seen Crabbe senior? ) anyway they skulked across to Hogwarts where all the students and death eaters including Voldie started putting up patronuses cause aint nobody got time fo Dementors trying to ruin their battle.

In all the animals flying around some second year Ravenclaw spotted a tiny snail and burst out laughing alerting the rest of the students to its presence making the entire battle stop and laugh all except Voldie..

In all the laughing a mudblood Hufflepuff by the name Alanah who had the apperance of a horse that would rival that of Petunia Dursley was seducing mulitiple people of both genders and started having a gang bang right there in the middle of the battle field as one of her many girlfriends, the dog faced Kaitlyn demanded to join in on her whorish actions, two Seventh year Slytherins Chloe and Amy nearby took a minute out of pretending to be snails to Avada both of them which made everyone cheer and Voldie stopped looking like he was going to cry long enough too congratulate the girls on ridding the world of mudbloods and whores at but while Voldie, Chloe and Amy were having a giggle someone called out that whoever owned the snail patronus was the weakest of them all.

Voldie threw a orange at the offender and started to cry and threw a two year olds tantrum on the ground and Harry Potter himself rushed over to see why Voldie had started crying

'there there Tommy dont cry we need to have a battle'

'They are all making fun of my shelly the snail!' :( he cried

'Well my stag is much better but yeah get over it Volders'

at this Voldemort started screaming about how much he loved his shelly and he would avada all the snail haters

Harry cast a glance over at his lover Draco Malfoy who got strange looks off his daddy dearest Lucy Malfoy for looking and smiling at Potty so Draco burst into tap dancing to distract Lucy.

Harry realized he was ment to be killing Voldie and quickly AK'd him and Voldie started screaming yet again (does he ever shush?)

'BYEBYE BITCHES COME ON SHELLY OFF TO THE GRAVESIDE WE GO'

and with that shelly slowly made her way over and that was Voldie declared a dead bread.

all the dementors who witnssed this decided to go back to azkaban (they were sure they were dreaming)

The leader of the dementors shouted at the rest 'TA TA BACK TO AZZA BOYS'

pointing a slimey thumb north west they departed leaving the people on the battle field to cheer

Draco Malfoy pulled Harry back to the castle for a night of hot gay love making.

All was well