Afterlife

Chap. 1: Genesis

(WARNING: The following chapter contains character death. The rest of this story may include yaoi, cussing, more tragedy, and NARUSASU pairing. Don't read if you don't like ;) )

DISCLAIMER: No own ;(

A miniscule thread of consciousness seperates me from my mind and the world, which whispers and whistles around me, freezing. Ivory flakes are thrown around angrily inside of a hardening atmosphere, and my dizziness gets the best of me. I'm reprimanding myself for my impulsivity to come out on such a rough day, but my feet only take me forward. I'm not thinking as coherantly as I'd like to - I don't think I have in months, but today really seems dead to me. I can't control it; it's gone. Even as I collapse against the railing of a slippery bridge, I still make no move to protect myself. My exhaustion keeps me where I am, paralyzed, and I close my eyes against my better judgement. Tilting my head up to the sky, I don't see anything, but that's what makes this more peaceful. The little bits of snow blowing in my face are like reassuring touches from the friends I could've had, had I not pushed them all away. Images flash behind my eyes, my mind feels clearer, and that small string connecting me to my conscious self slowly fades, bringing my physical body to rest farther and farther back on the railing, and then I'm done.

My eyes fly open, and suddenly I'm desperate for air, but I can't find it. The white slush around me suffocates me, and I'm struggling to go up, but I feel so weak, like my limbs are composed of something inanimate, or rather, my surroundings are made of cotton. It feels like forever, and I'm wondering how I'm still alive when a hand pulls me up from right underneath the surface. I sputter and gasp, fighting for every breath as though I were still underwater but, looking back now, I realize it wasn't water I'd resurfaced from. It was a puddle of some clear, black liquid, but I knew from being submerged beneath it that it's surface looks were deceiving.

It took me a while to finally acknowledge the two hands gripping tightly onto both my arms, and I looked up into a pair of breathtaking cerulean eyes. His eyes bore into mine,and I wouldn't look away. I had questions, but I found my voice wouldn't work when I opened my mouth. I settled for studying the golden, blonde hair, the sun-kissed skin,the three faint whisker marks etched onto each cheek. I sighed in contentment because for once, I felt somewhat safe. His hold on my arms made me feel secure in this place I barely knew, but I was so clueless...

I opened my mouth but, yet again, no words, only sighs, breaths. I saw my breath in front of me, but it couldn't be that cold, could it?

Suddenly, the boy let go, and I felt it - the cold. It wasn't unbearable, but was still a shock from the intense warmth I'd been enveloped in only seconds ago...

I studied my surroundings, and it finally clicked into place that this was not home. I was nowhere near home. The skies were a foggy blue, and the boy and I were surrounded by the walls that made up this snowy courtyard. The skies were clear, and I felt like if I stood up I would burst through it into another world. I stood up to touch it, but it only retreated farther back. I gave up after that, because I really didn't want to leave, despite how silly that sounds.

The courtyard was empty, though, save for one tree, blanketed in outstanding pink snow and surrounded by fresh, blue pecans. My brows furrowed in confusion. So where am I?

I relaxed and suppressed a shiver when the boy, still sitting at my feet, ran a delicate finger down my forearm. His touch was scorching hot compared to my surroundings, and it demanded my attention. I looked down at him, and he was smiling toothily.

"Welcome, stranger, how brings you here?" he asked. I scrunched my nose at his embarrassing grammar and opened my mouth to answer, but again, I couldn't. I tried again, and again, but it was futile. I tried expressing it to him, but he didn't respond directly, his expression only grew solemn, "You were careless." he said, and I didn't understand what he meant. He explained further.

"I've been here a while. You learn things from the snow flakes. Unfortunately, it doesn't snow here very often, but the season never changes, so there's always snow left over to remind you what you missed." I gave him a perplexed look, trying to convey my beffudled thoughts. He sighed, "What was the last thing you remember doing? Did you drown? Commit suicide? You're dead, you know, and you're only here because you weren't ready to die. This is your new home now, you're never moving on." I scoffed openly. What was wrong with this stranger? He didn't honestly beleive I was dead did he? I must be dreaming... The last thing I remember doing was falling asleep... I'll wake up soon. Besides, who ever heard of blue pecans?

"You don't beleive me? Trust me, I thought I was dreaming at first too, but I never woke up, and I had to learn on my own that the afterlife is just as unfair as it was before." He looked downcast. Perhaps if this was a dream, I could pretend it was real for now. This boy was comforting to be around, and I felt safer than I had in my entire life, but why, I wondered, was I just now beginning to have good dreams? The boy continued, "You still don't beleive me." I shook my head honestly. The boy looked so pure-hearted. It seemed wrong to lie to him.

I opened my mouth, motioning with my hand, asking why I couldn't speak, hoping he would understand the question silent question. He did.

"I told you. You were careless." I looked to him for more confirmation, "People who do nothing to prevent their own death lose their ability to do certain things. You, for example, have lost your ability to speak. You will never get it back... It's God's way of teaching you that life is precious - you shouldn't have wasted it, but, at least you're here! I was getting pretty lonely!" he said cheerfully, trying to lift the mood from something so serious, "If you ever need to ask me something you can write it in the snow." he said. I nodded excitedly and quickly bent down before him, spelling out questions to him.

What's you're name?

I sat back and peered up at him curiously, he chuckled.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I'm eighteen years old, and I died from... well... you don't need to know that." he smiled, "Ummm... My favorite color is orange, I use to LOVE ramen, but now there's only pecans..." he stared down at the snow for a moment, and then suddenly met my eyes with a determined smile, "You're my new best friend!" He said after a while. I smirked and stood up again. I had a lot to learn...

Naruto and I are sitting under the tree. He's trying to get me to taste the pecans, and I'm trying to teach him how to pronounce my name. I write that I'll try a pecan if he learns how to say my name, and he giddily agrees. He likes the challenge.

"Sas-oo-ke," I shake my head and smirk, writing dobe in the snow. "Dobe." he says, and looks at me. The smirk falls off my face and I give him a sarcastic look before his face contorts in mock-anger after finally figuring out I was talking to him.

"Shut up, bastard! Just for that, I'm never going to learn how to pronounce your name right ever again!" he announces, and huffs, turning away. I chuckled airily, and he looks at me, then I put my finger to the snow and he watches my movements carefully.

Saskay.

He blinks in understanding, "Ooooohhh, it's Sasuke, isn't it?" I nod, and he pumps his fists in the air excitedly. I can't help but lightly smile at this. He's so excited...

"Okay, now this means you have to try a pecan. They're not terrible, they don't really taste like pecans. More like marshmallows..." I take the pecan from him and try to open the shell, but it's not as hard a shell as I first thought it was. In fact, it didn't even have a shell. Naruto was right, it really was like a marshmallow, the whole thing had just squished in half when I tried peeling it.

I put one half in my mouth and smiled. It didn't taste like marshmallows... It tasted like strawberries, my favorite fruit.

"So it tastes like marshmallows, doesn't it?" I shake my head, and he looks at me strangely, "Oh well, I guess it's different for each person. Now you have to try the cherry snow on top of the tree! It's how I get fluids into my body. You'd be surprised, but you can actually waste away here. I learned that from the snowflakes..."

I looked at Naruto, calculating and mimicking every move he made to climb this tree.(Our tree?...) His moves were precise, and he knew what he was doing. I wanted to ask him what the snow tasted like, but I'd never found my voice, so instead, I opted to not look down, because I knew that would only make me nervous...

There were so many branches... and they didn't feel like branches, if you know what I mean. They felt like polished wood; perfection, and the leaves passed right through me. I couldn't grasp one, but looking up close they were composed of so many pigments, and colors that shone. This place really was wonderous... I was pretty excited to try the snow. It would be just one more miracle uncovered, and I wasn't usually excited for anything...

Finally, though, we'd made it to the top. Again, I got the sensation that I could pass right through the sky. I reached up, the sky rippled and I immediately pulled my hand back in shock when globs of pink snow decended onto the tree. My jaw slackened in wonder, and I heard Naruto chuckle at my child-like excitement.

"It's amazing, isn't it? But there's so much more to see... I'm glad I get to be the one to show you, too." he said. His smile was beautiful, it stretched from ear-to-ear, and I continued to look to him for guidance. Was there a special way to drink the snow? My questions were answered when I saw Naruto pull a small branch from the tree, which immediately grew back, and put his mouth to the snow-covered leaves. My eyes widened in realization, and I did the same. The leaves immediately disappeared, and the snow immediately turned to liquid. It tasted like a thick mango juice - it was pretty good. I went to pick some more up with my hands, but the snow dripped through my fingers the second I tried to grasp it. I paused, and went back to drinking the way I'd first done it. Apparently the snow was only meant to drink, not to touch...

"Mmmm... tastes like cherries..." Naruto said, smiling softly in contentment, "Don't throw away your branches, they make for good furniture." I wanted to ask how he could possibly make note-worthy furniture with his bare hands. Could he really be that good? There were no other tools here, but I assumed Naruto knew what he was doing... even if there was no furniture as far as I could see...

He must have seen my questioning gaze because he smiled, and said, "You'll see." Before climbing down the tree with me in tow. Before now I'd always been afraid of heights… I wonder what changed that…

"Sasuke," he said seriously once we had made it to the roots. I looked at him to continue, "Whatever you do, you can not EVER step on any of the puddles in this place. I can't believe I didn't think to tell you before, but by doing so, you'll become a ghost in the real world. You can never come back here…" I look into his eyes, he really looked genuine with his words. I nodded, and he breathed a sigh of relief before pulling me into a hug. I embraced the scalding warmth and buried my head in the crook of his neck, watching the goose bumps form as I did so. Perhaps I was as cold to him as he was warm to me…?

We continued across the courtyard, watching as our steps left permanent indentations in the snow. Even when I brushed over them they didn't go away… Huh… strange… But what about this place wasn't?

I had not noticed I was meant to stop until I bumped straight into Naruto. He didn't say anything, but I knew what he was staring at in awe. It was the enormous cherry oak doors, indented with intricate, floral designs, and several other elaborate designs. They told us a story, I noticed. It reminded me of the way fate works, but I could never process the story into words… It was too, let's say, beautiful for that…

"Of all the times I'd been here, I'd never felt anything from it." Naruto spoke up. He looked back at me, "Before you came, these were just a set of plain oak doors." He grinned, "You feel it, too, right Sasuke? Do you think that, perhaps, maybe the two people in this story are us? That we can open the doors now that we're here?" I looked at him. His face radiated excitement and wonder. I nodded absently, and reached a hesitant hand out to the door knob. I closed my eyes… one push… that's all it would take… just one push –

The doors faded away, and I stepped inside, Naruto following me, for once, but the second Naruto walked through, the doors disappeared, and I sent a calm Naruto a panicked look. He only smiled.

"The good thing about being here for all these centuries is having an imaginative perception of this place. Don't worry. I'm sure I will be able to open the doors from the inside, since you were able to from the outside. I could never do that…" I nodded and chose to trust him. It would do me no good to worry, and even if we were stuck in this place, at least I had Naruto with me…

I looked around the lascivious room, taking note of the marble floors, and purely-polished furniture. So much furniture… Was this the furniture Naruto was telling him about?

"This is what I meant, Sasuke!" Naruto said, right on que, "Though I don't know how furniture-making will work now that there's no plain, wooden doors to pass wood through… I guess we'll have to learn from the snowflakes next time, right Sasuke?" he grinned, and I nodded, happy to see him happy. It already feels like years since we've met, but perhaps this place here is the opposite of everything reality was? It could be possible for the theory of relativity to be reversed… right?

"Well, Sasuke, it looks like we have a huuuuge bed to sleep on! And a really fancy couch… unfortunately, there's no cushions. We should bring some snow in here for that!" I furrowed my brows at this, thinking the snow would melt, but knowing that things are always as different from what they seem. I'd just have to follow Naruto's experienced guidance.

So he opened the doors from the inside after proving that no, I could not, and we brought in blankets upon blankets of snow and lay them out on the chairs, bed, and sofas as cushions. If I were ever to describe how a cloud felt, I would definitely make reference to this snow…

I placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder, asking for his attention, and he turned to me with a smile and a pile of snow in his arms. I began writing in it.

Why doesn't it melt?

He looks at me, "That's a good question," he says. My shoulders slump forward in defeat, "The snow in reality melts because people don't recognize it enough to cherish it. They don't realize that the snow littering their lawns is forgotten logic and knowledge – heck, people in reality don't even notice they could probably learn the meaning of life if they would just taste a few snowflakes and appreciate the things around them… It's humanity's selfishness that led them to nothing but misery and regret…" My eyes met his in understanding, and I suddenly felt all the more wiser. I reached up a hand to write another question in the snow:

So what was the meaning of life?

That night – or what I assumed was night, since I was getting pretty sleepy (the sun never rose or set here), Naruto and I were laying on our newly-made bed, and I was basking in his warmth. My head adjusted itself into the nape of his neck and I sighed in contentment. This was the warmth I'd wanted all my life, I just never got it until I reached Naruto. Naruto really was something else…

"Hey, Sasuke, what say you to being with me for the remainder of eternity?" he asked. I looked up at him, and he was smiling characteristically, but his eyes were sober, "Hmmm?" he hummed, reaching in closer to my face. I stared into his stunning blue eyes. How long had we really been here? A day? A month? I wasn't trying to be flowery, but this whole place seemed to lack time. If it had been a day, then was that really enough time to make a decision?

…Was it?

Did it really matter either way? We were stuck – though I would rather use the word 'fated' – here together for the rest of our lives. What else could we possibly do other than make the best of our existence?

I nodded and closed my eyes sleepily. It really had been a long time since I felt I'd slept.

He chuckled lowly, "Good…" and kissed my forehead before wrapping me in his embrace once again.

"You really are a beautiful one, you know that?"

When I woke up, it was in the arms of Naruto, but I felt strangely used to this – in a good way. It was like it was to be expected, and anticipated….. I feel like I've known him forever. I looked up to his face, wanting to see those tanned features once again, even if it feels like I've seen them a thousand times, only to find that Naruto was already awake, looking down at me groggily.

Nevertheless, he smiled, "Awake?" he chuckled when I nodded, then frowned, contemplating something.

I put some space in-between us, and wrote to him.

What are you thinking about?

His brow furrowed even more, and then he responded.

"I wish you could speak… I would love to hear that voice…" he said simply, and the corners of my mouth turned upward into the slightest smile. I wrote again.

I don't mind.

"I do." He said, and that was the end of that.

Then, suddenly, I had another question…

How long have we really been here?

He grinned broadly at that, and responded eagerly.

"What seems like one day here, is actually one year in reality. We feel emotions, learn things, and grow wiser as much as we would have in one year, it just feels like such a short time… Why do you think it was so easy for us to fall in love so quickly? In reality, this would've been impossible. Here, it isn't." I nodded in understanding, then smiled happily.

Love. He said we're in love.

He pulled me into another one of those addicting embraces, and leaned down until I felt his breath on my ear.

"Sasuke…" he whispered huskily. I shivered, "Let's make love." I gasped lightly at the request, and hugged him tighter. 'yes…' I secretly pleaded, and that day, we made love.

Several days – or years – later, I find myself sitting under the tree, blind. Naruto is blind, too, he says, and it's because God doesn't approve of Sodomy. I don't respond – I can't, and I just cry. How could one God be so cruel?

Naruto cries a little bit, too, but tells me not to cry, myself, because if I can't communicate with him, at least he can communicate with me, and for now, it's better than nothing.

"Sasuke, promise me that if nothing becomes of me, that you'll throw me in one of those puddles to end my misery?" Naruto asks solemnly, both hands on either side of my head, playing with strands of black hair at the nape of my neck. I shake my head frantically, not even wanting to think of such a situation. The days and years have been so hard, being unable to physically show Naruto that I love him, to let him know with my eyes, my words… I've been stripped of everything it seems, but at least Naruto knows… And at least he's always there for me…

So I should be there for him, to grant him his last wish if he ever feels hopeless… right?

The afterlife wasn't so selfish as reality… I knew I wouldn't be able to bear being without him, but knowing he was suffering would be far worse…

I'd been here long enough to be able to be wiser with my decisions. It seemed like Naruto really needed this confirmation to move on, even we never came to such circumstances…

I slowly nodded my head, sobbing lightly, and he whipped away my tears, whispering, "Ssshhhh…. Be quiet… We'll never get that far… We can't… I just wanted to know just in case…" he kisses me on the cheek, "Would you like me to do the same for you? If you ever lose your way?" I think about it.

The only way I would ever lose my way was without Naruto. I figure, yes, I would want to be thrown underneath the surface of a puddle if Naruto ever leaves me…

I nod slowly, and he kisses my other cheek.

"Would you want to stay here if I'm not with you?" he asks against my skin. I feel his warm breath on my cheek and I instantly shake my head. I feel him smile sadly. He pecks my lips lovingly.

"Me neither."

Soon after, I was sitting next to Naruto, splaying my hands over his mouth because, by then, I had gone deaf. He was a sobbing, hysterical mess, and I did everything to calm him down, but it wasn't enough, because my loss of hearing was because I'd lied to him.

I promised to throw him in a puddle if he lost his way, but I'd lied to him. I knew, deep down, that I would never find it in myself to do such a thing.

Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke…

I heard him mouth my name over and over again, but my name, and the words I love you were the only words I could recognize him saying. Everything was too confusing, complex, but it was okay, for me. At least I could feel the words that meant the most to me.

I feel him saying more words, but it's all a jumble to me, until he says

I love you

And I know he's forgiven me for lying to him.

I love you

He says it again, and I grab hold of his hand and put it where my lips are, and I say the same words.

I love you

Because I want him to understand the same words I understand. He nods, showing me that he gets it, and he says it again.

I love you

I say it back, and then we touch each other. Always touching, never entering. I moan breathily against his lips as his hands roam my skin, and I learn a new word.

Beautiful

We touch and kiss and feel for the rest of the day. I don't care if all we can do is feel – at least that's better than nothing.

Several days later, Naruto and I exchange so many I love you's. It almost feels bittersweet, but our limits remind us of just how much we've lost. Our afterlives are still so tragic…

Reality is tragic, but I promise, no lying this time, that I will make the best of it. Naruto and I can live this way, no matter the pain and the suffering, and we can be together.

I'll never show him otherwise.

Several weeks later, I was shocked to feel Naruto pick me up, and pluck me into the snow to his right. I was so shocked by what he'd done, but then he takes my hand and guides to a something wet… something that wasn't snow…

My eyes widen.

No…. Nonononononono, he couldn't be thinking…

I bring his hand away from the puddle to my face, shaking my head desperately, and he brings it to his, nodding his head solemnly. He pulls me in closer to him, and I start bawling, crying. Could this really be the end? Did Naruto have no more hope for me?

He pulls me into his arms, guiding me over to the puddle, all the while I'm shaking my head and bawling. He couldn't want this… he couldn't…

That's when I feel he's crying, too, and I stop him with the longest, most drawn-out kiss I've ever given him in his life. It was our last goodbye, because I wasn't naive enough to think Naruto would go without me, and his will was so strong… he would be taking me with him. I couldn't protest as the kiss ended, and he threw us both into the puddle.

I gasped for breath, holding onto Naruto for dear life, hoping maybe, just maybe, God would let us roam as ghosts together…

But there was no such luck. Suddenly, we were pulled apart so quickly. I cried so defiantly, and I felt my senses grow… and grow and grow, and then I realized why Naruto did this.

He knew I would get my senses back. He did this because he thought I would be happier living in a world full of light.

I sob, exasperated.

Why couldn't he realize that he was my light?

Hello! It's a new story for me :) I didn't mean to make this so short and rushed, but gosh, it's late...

Sorry if there was much confusion about the summary; this is part of my NaNoWriMo project (National Novel Writing Month), and the point of NaNoWriMo is to make it to 50,000 words by the end of the month. I figured I'd write a million(that's a hyperbole) short stories to make up those 50,000 words, and here's one of them :) I hope you enjoyed it!

R&R with all your heart!

~Bye