A/N: Because I hate Katniss/Peeta. Cut off the last bit of Mockingjay where Peeta and Katniss get back together.

Feeding The Fire

Chapter One: Order

It's months before anything happens. Well, anything significant anyway.

In the months before, I live on. Barely. The only people I see are Greasy Sae and her granddaughter. Others visit, but I block them out. Because they drag up memories- painful, horrible memories. I think Peeta visits a couple of times, but I can't even look at him. Because if I did look at him, all I would see was the day of the reaping, and the Hunger Games.

The only reason I was in the Hunger Games was because I loved someone. The only reason I put up a fight in the Hunger Games was because I had someone to fight for. There's no one anymore.

And so I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember anything. If I could, I would forget my life and start over. Or maybe forget my life, and die. Does it matter?

When it comes, it comes from Paylor. She took over from Coin, and I'm glad. It was Coin's fault; everything. The bombing, especially. Killing Coin is the only deed I have done that makes me feel an inkling of satisfaction.

It's nothing special, just a phone call. A single phone call.

"Katniss," Paylor's voice comes cool and crisp over the line.

I croak a simple yes, my voice hardly works anymore, after months of disuse.

Paylor's tone softens, and it's then that I realise that this is not good news coming to me. It never is.

"Katniss, I know that you've been, well, distracted since the rebellion, and I know that you want nothing to do with us ever again," her voice is gentle, horribly gentle; I hate being pitied.

There's silence, and she eventually continues. "But the people need to see their Mockingjay again. You were the face of our rebellion, from the beginning. Even at the end, when they thought you were mad for shooting Coin. They need you back. Me, Plutarch, Gale... None of us can satisfy them. They need..."

But it's after the word Gale that I tune out, because that simple word takes me onto a whole new thought train.

Gale. My best friend. Or more, perhaps. But it disturbs me that I don't say my old best friend that could have been more in my head. Because that's what he should be. A closed door, never to be reopened. After those bombs that shattered my life, that door should be locked and the key thrown into the deepest, darkest of pits.

So why isn't it?

I can't answer that question, and so I ignore it, and tune back into Paylor, who seems to be waiting for a response of some kind.

"What?" I say. I can remember how to use manners and tact and all the rest, but there's honestly no point anymore.

Paylor sighs heavily, and I feel slightly guilty for missing what must have been an inspirational speech, but it fades. Because it's not like I care what she, or anyone, thinks, anyway.

"We need you, Katniss. You were the one who started that first little spark of rebellion, and grew it into a raging inferno. Now, we need you to keep feeding the fire."

My heart sinks, but I know that this isn't exactly an invitation. It's an order.