I'm pretty sure most people stopped reading after "Trust", but since "Regret" ended on such a downbeat note, and the handful of you who did comment asked for a sequel, I decided to add a third part to this series, set after the flashforwards in Through the Looking Glass. At the moment it looks like it will be a two shot with an epilogue but that depends on reviews... ;)

FORGIVENESS

Part 1.

It had happened in an instant.

That was how long she'd allowed herself to be distracted.

One minute he was giggling as his swing sailed back towards the clouds, the next he was airborne, letting out an ear-splitting wail when his head connected with the hard-packed earth.

That was how she knew that he was alive, that his neck hadn't been broken; what scared her more than his cries was the blood, matting his hair and staining his clothes and the dirt beneath him.

An hour later she could still see it on her hands; the thighs of her jeans where she'd wiped them; on her blouse from cradling him in her lap in ambulance, trying to calm him so that the doctors could close the wound.

She wouldn't leave the waiting area until they were done so one of the nurses had brought her some paper towels to clean herself up with, but by then it was too late. It had dried, a testament for everyone who saw her to what a poor mother she was turning out to be.

She couldn't even keep her kids safe. She couldn't keep them from winding up in the hospital.

"Kate?"

Speak of the devil…

As she lifted her head and her eyes locked on his where he stood frozen in the corridor that led to his office, it occurred to her that devil wasn't a bad choice of word when she considered her last trip to the ER.

It wasn't that she thought he was evil, because she didn't, not even a little. That was half the problem. She didn't know what to think, how to feel. She wanted to hate him, but she couldn't, not when he looked worse than he had at the airport: exhausted, sad and broken beyond repair. She couldn't, because at the same time she felt the powerful compulsion to run back to his arms, as much for his comfort as for her own.

He was still Jack after all. Her Jack, even if he couldn't see it.

"Is everything… Are you okay?" he asked without coming any closer, the worry lines in his forehead deepening as he took in her tortured expression; the marks on her clothes before he seemed to notice that she was alone. "Where's Aaron?"

When she wasn't sure how to answer, or even if he deserved one, after everything, he moved over to her, setting his clipboard down and taking the chair beside hers. "Hey. What happened?"

As always, she could feel herself unravelling under the intensity of his gaze, touched that he was willing to brave her wrath on the off chance that she might tell him.

The last time they were here in this hospital, during one of the worst nights of her life, she'd insisted that she never wanted to see him again when all she really wanted was for him to hold her. She'd pushed him away when they should be drawing strength from each other. Was she really prepared to do that again now when she needed him?

"Kate, talk to me. Please."

While she'd expected the words, she wasn't prepared for the desperation in his tone. How long had it been since he'd had to plead for her to share something like this? She couldn't remember.

"He had an accident," she confessed, the tears that she'd managed to hold off the entire time she'd been sitting there spilling over onto her cheeks. How was it that he always had that effect on her? She could lie to herself, but not to him. "We were at the park and he… he fell off the swing, hit his head on the ground."

She almost couldn't bring herself to see his reaction, if he blamed her when he was the closest thing Aaron had to real family here in L.A., the knot in her gut twisting at how alarmed he was.

"But he's gonna be alright? It's not serious?"

"They're stitching him up, but they think I should be able to take him home with me," she agreed before he took her guilt for something else.

He slumped back in his seat and while she knew how hard it would be for him to admit it when he'd spent so long keeping Aaron at arm's length, she could see that a huge weight had been lifted from his mind. It was one less thing for him to worry about. One less thing for him to feel responsible for. "Good. That's good.

Even though she knew that it was, that it could have been worse, she wasn't prepared to let herself off the hook yet, not when she should never have allowed it to happen in the first place. This was supposed to be her new life, her fresh start. She couldn't afford to screw up this time.

"Hey," he murmured, nudging her chin to get her to look at him, the gesture so reminiscent of the man he'd been before that just for a moment, she felt like they'd stepped back in time. "This isn't your fault. It could've happened to anyone."

As soon as she did, she almost wished that she hadn't when she found herself drowning in a pair of eyes that were so foreign to her now and yet still so familiar. If she ignored the beard, and the lines that seemed to multiply each time she saw him, he was still the same. Everything had changed, and yet somehow nothing had. She still loved him, and she knew that he wouldn't be there if he didn't still love her.

"No it couldn't," she insisted. "I wasn't watching him, Jack. I wasn't paying attention."

She wondered then if she should tell him the truth, that she'd heard a baby crying and she'd allowed herself to be distracted by it. That no matter how hard she tried to move past it, she couldn't seem to let go, of him, of their son, of the life that they should have had.

"I made a mistake and now he's in the hospital. I don't know why I thought I could do this."

She wasn't aware of how this could sound until she saw that it had struck a nerve with him; he was silent for a long moment, massaging his brow with his fingers as he dropped his head into his hand.

"Believe it or not, but you're a good mother, Kate. He's happy, he's healthy… he's alive." He let out a bitter laugh, betraying the darkness inside of him, the darkness that she'd thought she could save him from before he'd hurt her in ways that she never would have expected from him. "You're doing better than some people."

She wanted to tell him that she forgave him, but she still didn't know if she could. "You should get back," she reminded him. "I'm sure someone's looking for you."

She tried to keep her tone as gentle as possible, but she could see how much this hurt him. "Well, good luck," he said as he got to his feet, tucking his clipboard back under his arm, his voice taking on a politeness that she found absurd after the intimacy they'd just shared. "Children are pretty resilient. I'm sure it won't be long before Aaron's begging you to take him back to the park."

He hadn't made it give feet before he amended, as an afterthought, "Tell him…" There didn't seem to be any words for the shame he felt at abandoning him for his own selfish reasons. He shook his head, running his fingers over his hair. "Just take care of him, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed with a tentative smile.

Something about his expression made her think that he wasn't as far gone as he wanted her to believe, that in time he could be the old Jack again, the one that she'd fallen in love with.

He turned to go.

"Jack?" She called after him, grateful when he stopped, his back still to her as he waited for her to finish. "Thank you."

Interesting fact: The idea for this chapter came from something that actually happened to me when I was about Aaron's age. I decided to try swinging without holding on and it obviously didn't work out too well. Fortunately my brain doesn't appear to have been scrambled.

In Part 2: It's Kate's turn to take care of Jack when she receives a disturbing phone call from one of his colleagues...;)