Title: Best Of Me
Pairing: Chuck/Blair
Summary: And the only sound he can hear is of an axeman executing his guilty heart.
Disclaimer: I don't Gossip Girl or Sum 41's 'Best Of Me'
A/N: Quick one-shot. Takes place after the season finale. Sigh at the season finale. Just sigh. Not a good sigh, btw. Sigh.
It's so hard to say that I'm sorry
I'll make everything alright
All these things that I've done
What have I become, and where'd I go wrong?
When he arrives in Tuscany, the first thing he sees are bouncing curls making their way through a throng of travellers and immediately feels his heart drop.
He feels dirty – and not in the usual way – as she runs toward him, a jubilant smile spread over her face and a radiant tan glowing on her toned body.
"Chuck!" she exclaims in pure glee, wrapping her arms around him, planting butterfly kisses over his face. He simply stares at her, entranced by her soft, graceful features. Her chocolate orbs look back at him in confusion and concern, but those feelings disappear when his lips crash onto hers in a passionate embrace. When they break apart, he hides his head in the nook of her neck and she runs her dainty fingers through his messy hair. There's something bugging him, she knows there is, but she doesn't say anything because right now, silence is golden.
"Sorry," is the first thing that stumbles out of his mouth and she mistakes this as an apology for being late. He raises his head and looks at her with a gaze so intense that if she weren't in his arms, she would've collapsed to the ground, wobbly legs and all. She places a phantom kiss on his lips and says, "You're here now, that's all that matters."
And then she smiles at him.
And the only sound he can hear is of an axeman executing his guilty heart.
I don't mean to hurt just to put you first
I won't tell you lies
I will stand accused
With my hand on my heart
I'm just trying to say…
"I kissed someone else." Just one kiss from Amelia had been enough for Chuck to realise that it was Blair he wanted. Sadly enough, he knows that Blair wouldn't see it that way especially when she clutches at her heart and staggers backwards towards the bed in their hotel suite.
He couldn't keep it from her. He couldn't lie. So he had told her. And now he watches as her heart breaks into tiny glass pieces that slid down her cheeks in silent rivers. It surprises him how four little words could tear a person apart, but then again, Blair Waldorf isn't just anyone. The invisible scars in her porcelain skin burn as she begins to decipher the conundrum of why Chuck really missed their flight.
"Get out," she says, shaking her head, pointing a shaky finger towards the door. She hates herself for being weak in front of Chuck Bass, but the heartache is too much for her to keep in. "Get. OUT!" she yells, picking up a pillow from the king-size bed and throwing it forcefully at Chuck Bass' head. She imagines that it's a brick as it hits him in the face and that he cowered in fear instead of standing tall, taking the guilt that he deserved.
"…Get out…" she says in a voice smaller than she's used too which catches a nerve in him and he's gone before she can softly whisper,"…please."
I'm sorry
It's all that I can say
You mean so much
And I'd fix all that I've done
He spends the night in another suite, thinking about how Blair Waldorf's life would be better if he had never existed.
If Chuck Bass had never been born then nothing would've stood in the way of Blair and Nate getting back together after their first break-up. Then they could've lived the happy fairytale life that Blair had conjured for them and the world would be a perfect Waldorf story.
As much as he still thinks that Nate is an idiot for letting Blair go, he can't help but laugh at the irony of the situation.
Because right now, Chuck Bass is no better than Nate Archibald.
And it's killing him.
If I could start again
I'd throw it all away
To the shadows of regrets
And you would have the best of me
The next morning he finds out from the hotel concierge that Blair had checked out of the hotel.
So, he does the only thing he can think of. He tells the concierge to get him the fastest cab – yes, cab – that will take him to the airport.
They arrive there in 17 minutes and 34 seconds.
He huffs and puffs as he runs into the building, looking for a petite brunette who carries the other half of his broken heart. It takes him a second to find her about to enter the terminal, black sunglasses hiding her bloodshot eyes. But he doesn't move. He can't move. He finds his feet glued to the ground as he watches in regret as she disappears behind the glass doors.
If there ever were a moment when Chuck Bass wanted to hurl himself in front of a train, it would be right now. Actually, no, it wouldn't. Taking the prize at first place would be when he was a fool and believed that a blonde bimbo could ever fill the emptiness he felt.
If only he had known that that emptiness was only there because he was away from Blair Waldorf.
I know that I can't take back all of the mistakes
But I will try
Although it's not easy
I know you believe me
Cause I would not lie
He stays in his suite for his entire trip in Tuscany, afraid to come face to face with the harsh realities that loom beyond his hotel door.
He lives off of pay television and pistachio nuts and ignores the annoying ring of his mobile. Voicemail picks up and it's another angry speech from Serena, asking whom exactly did he think he was.
"Chuck Bass," he mutters to no one in particular, but even his name bares him no comfort as he sinks lower into his mattress, holding a pillow over his head. He tries to drown out the scenic noises that come from outside his room, but realises that it's no use. He has to face reality sooner or later.
It's too bad he decides for it to be later.
Don't believe their lies
Told from jealous eyes
They don't understand
I won't break your heart
I won't bring you down
When he arrives back in New York, the first thing he receives is a text message from his favourite Gossip Girl. It's a text revealing that Blair still hadn't made an appearance after coming back from Tuscany two months ago without Chuck.
He throws his phone into the nearest trashcan and walks to his limo, sheltering himself from the prevalent stares that surround him. They all assume that it's his fault and he curses knowing that they're right. He can hear voices around him, mindless gossip speculating as to what had happened between him and Blair and all he can hope is that they won't sway Blair.
He told himself that he would never break Blair Waldorf's heart a second time, but it turns out that he's a better liar than he realised.
I'm sorry
It's all that I can say
You mean so much
And I'd fix all that I've done
If I could start again
I'd throw it all away
To the shadows of regrets
And you would have the best of me
He watches her sit by herself on the Met steps, yoghurt in her hand and a blank expression looming over her face. He could be sitting next to her, nuzzling her neck. She could be grinning back at him, rolling her eyes but enjoying every moment.
But instead, he's reduced to staring at her from across the road, like the stalker he always knew he'd become. If he could do things over, he would never have hurt her, but it's in his nature. And that's why he loathes himself.
They were never meant to have their own fairytale ending, just a harsh slap in the face by reality. But what he hates most of all is it that they're their own romantic tragedy.
Blair Waldorf would have the best of him, if only he could find the best in him.