Chapter One; Senri Ichinose
I sat on the edge of the bed, a half smoked cigarette bobbing between my lips, because my hands were too shaky to hold it. It had only been a few hours, and I already felt edgy and tired at the same time. Mina was cleaning herself up in the bathroom, and I knew it would be time to say goodbye for the night. She was getting frustrated with me, and she wanted more from me than these overnights in random, glamorous hotels. I never took women home, and Mina was no exception. I would never take her to my large, complicated family that would overwhelm her. Then, she would be sucked into the appeal of being a part of the Ichinose family. I didn't want that for her. She didn't need to know about all of the secrets, the lies, and betrayal; the heavy burden that came with truly knowing me and my family. No, she deserved better than that. She deserved better than me.
"Senri?" I opened my eyes and looked down to see sprinkled ashes from my cigarette on the cream colored carpet. I gripped the filter between my lips and quickly inhaled, only to gain nothing but empty smoke. Mina kneeled in front of me, wearing only a towel. She opened her lighter over my cigarette and the orange embers returned. "There. You okay?" she asked, quietly. I nodded and took the delicious hit I desperately needed and it slightly woke me up. "Yeah. Thanks." I said, losing focus on her as my eyes had better ideas and traveled to her chest where her large breasts pushed up against the towel. I shook my head and looked up into her eyes. "It's time for me to go," I said. Mina sighed, disappointed and I hated to put that look on her face.
"Can't you stay just a little bit longer?" she asked. The sadness in her voice nearly gutted me. But, I still couldn't stay.
"No," I said. "I have to go and meet…"
"Stella?" She wrinkled her nose. I sighed, "Mina, you know why I meet up with her…" My hands began to twitch again, and I slowly stood up off the edge of the bed. Mina gripped my hands in hers, holding me still. "Senri, please… I know why, but you have history with her, and you said you want to be with me."
"I do." What a piece of shit I was. But, it wouldn't stop me from meeting her. We would talk, have a couple drinks, and then I would pay her for what I needed. My phone buzzed on the night stand, and I knew it was Stella, informing me of where to meet her. But, Mina's hands wouldn't let go. "Senri, please. I love you. Don't do this." I winced, my eyes scrunched shut. She shouldn't love me, I'm not worth it. I should've known better than to get involved with such an innocent woman like her. She was kind, and yet still had that wicked edge that I was always drawn to. The fact she could physically kick out abrasive drunks from her workstation at the bar, chain smoke worse than me, and swear like a sailor, she could easily turn that persona off and become the kind, compassion woman who whispered sweet words, like "I love you." She had me hooked.
Even so, there was still that one thing more important than even her. And, that's where I had to draw the line. I would not stay, and I would not cancel my appointment. I wasn't about to cheat on Mina. That something from Stella wasn't pussy.
"I can't," I said, releasing her hands. She looked like she had no fight left as she nodded and let me go. I retrieved my keys and phone from the night stand. "Please, don't leave on my account, okay? I'll call you later." I didn't even bother to look back to see her reaction.
Stella was sitting in her usual spot in the corner of the pub where we wouldn't be noticed. She noticed me at the entrance, pulling her eyeglasses from her eyes. I quickly pulled mine off, so she could see that I was me, Senri. Not my Father. Stella smiled and motioned me forward to where she sat. She had already ordered a drink for me, so I sat down opposite her. Her hands brushed mine under the table, and I instantly grabbed the small bag she was handing me. I stowed it away in my Messenger bag, then sealed it shut.
"It's so good to see you, dear. How is your father?" Stella asked in her beautiful, British accent as I sat down across from her at a secluded table for two. "The same as always," I shrugged my shoulders. Talking about my dad with her was always uncomfortable since he used to see her in the UK all the time, ages ago. And presently, she had pursued his own son. Actually, I had pursued her. She was hot, with her long, blonde curly hair and triple D breasts that could only be accomplished with surgery. When I met her, I was a sixteen year old male with urges. I gave her my virginity, and she introduced me to Crystal. It started a temporary affair that ended when I started noticing mosquitoes following me around with cameras, and neither of us could chance getting caught. I promised that I wouldn't tell my parents about her if she would continue to bring me what I wanted more than her body. And, that was Crystal. There were times if she had business in the UK, she would arrange for someone else to meet me. So, I never seemed to run out.
"You seem distracted," she said, drawing me out of my thoughts. I shrugged my shoulders and took a sip of my gin and tonic that she had already ordered before I arrived. "I can't stay long this time," I said, cupping my glass between my hands. Stella gave her trademark shit eating grin, and it kind of pissed me off. "Why are you smiling like that?" I asked. She sat back and crossed her arms beneath her tits and cleavage spilled out from her sparkly top. "You've met someone, haven't you?" She said.
"How would you know that?" I asked. This was not the kind of conversation I wanted to have with my drug dealer.
"Ah, you're not denying it," she smirked. "It's that woman that works at the club down the street, isn't it?"
"Are you spying on me?" My eyes widened. What else did she know?
"Just because I don't approach you in public areas, doesn't mean I don't spot you. My friends seem to always see you there too. She's a pretty one," she said, reverting the conversation back to Mina. I didn't like that she had her goons following me. It definitely wasn't safe for Mina, should any shit hit the fan. I knew what kind of business I was dealing with. "Having someone like that in your world is...dangerous," she said.
"She doesn't know everything," I mumbled. She knew that I used, but that's where it ended. She didn't know where I went to obtain it or who I saw. The only reason she knew about Stella was because one of our meetings happened in her work place. I had no choice but to explain things to Mina once we got more serious.
Stella shook her head and smiled. "You're not going to leave her, are you?" I didn't hesitate. "No. She's safe with me," I said. Stella reached over and took my hand, an odd chill crawled down my spine, and I didn't understand why her touch suddenly repulsed me. "Your father acted like this after he met your Mother, Nana. You're just like him," she said. I gritted my teeth, "Nana is not my Mother." Of course, she knew that and she also knew that it got under my skin. The constant reminder of my shit show of a family. Nana, my Father's wife was more in the lime light then my mother, Kaoru would ever be. It gave my Father any chance he wanted to go be with her on the side. The two timing bastard. Whether I liked it or not, I was still his son. And, the mosquitoes loved to get my attention now that I was barely an adult.
I didn't care what Stella said, I was nothing like him.
My body was crashing fast and I knew it was my cue to go. I placed my trembling hand on the table, and went to stand up. I already had what I needed in my messenger bag and I hoisted it over my shoulder. I threw some cash down on the table. "I'm nothing like Takumi Ichinose," I said, feeling the anger I had towards him pulse through my veins. Stella stood up as well, and she touched my arm. I flinched, pulling away.
"Senri, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" I raised my hand to stop her. "I'm going home, I'll see you around." I waved and discreetly exited the building. I hopped into my SUV, itching to get home. It was dangerous to handle my business there, but I knew no one would bother me this late at night. And, I wasn't going to return to the hotel and face Mina. I had been staying with my dad for awhile, at my Mother's insistence since I once again got expelled from school, and she was facing a breaking point. I wasn't particularly thrilled with the idea, but I didn't want to upset her any further. She was probably the only person I respected.
I swiped my badge against a small panel at the entrance of the parking garage. The gate opened and I parked my vehicle quickly. I passed the security window and took the elevators up four floors to where I resided with my father, his wife, and my younger sister and brother. I unlocked the door and quietly entered the house. The lights were out, so I hoped that meant everyone was asleep. I walked along the hallway to my bedroom, that was attached to my own bathroom. I pulled my bag of goodies out on the counter. This is where my night could truly begin.
"Senri?" I scowled, and turned around to see my sister standing in the doorway. I should've known better than to leave my bedroom door unlocked.
"What are you doing here? I thought you'd be out with that guy, what's his name?" I asked, my mind drawing a blank. Satsuki sighed and sat on the edge of the bathtub, making herself at home.
"His name is Yutaro. And, I came home for dinner like Mom and Dad wanted. Which, by the way, you missed. Ren was here too." She pointed out. I scoffed, "Of course, Ren would be there. He never goes anywhere." My little brother was practically a hermit, who seemed more interested in drawing women then touching them.
"So, did you snitch on me?" I asked. Satsuki and I had this unspoken agreement since we were kids to have each others' backs and not rat eachother out. The first night I came home, crashing from the crystal, she put me to bed and smoothly told my mom that I had a migraine, which was believable since I'd endured those monsters since I was five.
"No, of course not," she said. "But, it's starting to become hard to do, Sen. You should really stop bringing that junk home." She said, nodding toward the mirror and white substance I had placed on the counter.
"Last I checked, it's none of your business what I bring home. You're supposed to have my back on this." Satsuki frowned and she looked down at the floor. "I really wish you would stop," she said, quietly. "At first, you only did it every once in awhile, but now it's a little out of control. Don't you think?"
"I don't want to stop," I admitted. "And, I'm tired of talking about this." Satsuki winced, lifting her head, and her big, grey eyes were lining with unshed tears. "That's what I was afraid of." I felt guilty, but it only lasted for a moment. I closed my eyes and pointed towards the door.
"Satsuki, just go."
"But, Senri…" She stood up.
"Go." I said, harshly. She ran out of the room, and I remembered to lock the door this time. I stood at the counter and started to line up the crystal on the mirror. I rolled up a piece of paper tightly then bent down to snort the drugs into my system. One nostril closed, I inhaled deeply and an entire line disappeared from the mirror. I didn't stop there though, I did more. Line after line until my body became numb with the sensation. I didn't have to think so much anymore. About anything.
I heard a distant pounding on the door, and I shouted, "Go away!"
"Senri! Senri, if you don't open this door, I'm getting our Father! Do you hear me?" Satsuki shouted.
"Fuck you, Satsuki!" I shouted. I didn't care if she tattled. I didn't care about anything; my parents, my life. I ignored her plea, and I snorted another line, then another until I found myself on the floor. Usually, I'd feel energized to get up off the floor and go make use of the night. But, I actually felt paralyzed. How much did I just take? Black spots blocked my vision, and I felt myself spiraling out of control. I could still hear the pounding on the door and the loud cries. But, I lacked the ability to respond, announce that I was okay. Was I okay? I couldn't even tell if I was breathing.
The last thing I could remember was the bedroom door being busted down, and my Father running towards me. I wanted to hit him. Instead, I passed out.