Naruto's a wiz kid? Sakura's a manga enthusiast? Sasuke and Itachi are the closest brothers ever!? Somehow it's just not right but y'know what...I'm gonna write it anyway For those of you who've been keeping up on the latest chapters of NARUTO you understand how I can turn Sakura into such a fangirl… (grins)

Warning: Yaoi and hardcore OOCness!! I mean, really outta' character. Except Naruto's still loud. Yaoi is man love. As in, two dudes having sex on your screen…in words…like phone sex with less noise. Like…IM sex? But this is a oneshot without hardcore yaoi, meaning hints rather than full frontal

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. (c) of Masashi-sensei.

Your Average Fangirl

"Hmph, I find shoujo mangas to be silly. They're all about some little girl falling for some guy and having her feelings either accepted or rejected and, if there is a plot twist, her feelings are either taken up by someone else or the guy she originally liked realizes just how much he really likes her or he had a reason he couldn't tell her before that he really DOES like her. It's almost amusing how many different ways authors have of creating a story and yet they all turn out like this. I could go on but the bell is about to ring." Sakura sat back as the bell yelled at everyone to sit down.

"Class, please quiet down. Quiet down I said..." Sakura yawned as the sensei droned on...and before she knew it fell asleep. She was floating in a land of pretty boys...and her secret obsession...yaoi! She practiced all the time, night and day, to become a great mangaka and her choice of manga to draw... soft yaoi!! Every time she fell asleep she dreamed of the perfect two pretty boy characters to put together. One loud and cute and full of energy, the other quiet and handsome and down to earth... "..kura..." they would meet in a classroom where the loud one is being introduced as a new student "...akura...!" the quiet one would be class president and they would "...Sakura!!"

"Yep, they would kiss and deal with the drama's of teen life with great twists my brilliant and original brain - oh..." Sakura blushed.

"Are you quite done?" Taki-sensei glowered down at her.

"Um...yes?"

"Good. Now then, I would like to introduce to you a new student. Uchiha Sasuke."

"I'm...very pleased to meet you." a tall boy with short hair in a cute cut bowed. His black bangs hung dramatically over his black eyes in a very nice shoujo sort of fashion.

"Uzumaki, please show Uchiha around for the remainder of the day." sensei nodded to the class president.

"Uh huh."

"Uzumaki are you listening!?"

"Yessir. Hey Uchiha-kun welcome to Dashingen High, c'mon and sit here." Uzumaki Naruto, class heartthrob and top ranking student um, awkward?, stood and practically pulled Uchiha into the seat next to his. "There you go." he smiled warmly and pretty much all the chicks did their little my-heart-is-melting orgasm!orgasm! sighs.

"Thank you." Uchiha practically whispered as Taki-sensei resumed class.

'Now that is a perfect soft shounen ai couple.' Sakura leaned back in her chair and studied the two as Uzumaki explained where they were in the lesson to Uchiha. 'Yes, perfect…'

- - - - - - - - -

Sakura was sketching out Sasuke-san's profile when a knock at the art club's door broke her concentration. She frowned. Everyone was supposed to be busy with activities, why was someone bugging her at such a critical time of development?! She opened the door to find Uchiha standing there.

"Uchiha-san…?" did he grow?

"So, my reputation proceeds me, does it? Or are you referring to my little brother, Sasuke?" He stared down at her threw long dark hair. She nodded. "Well then, I'm the new art teacher, Uchiha Itachi. Are you my only member?"

"N-no, everyone is outside for free style today. I'm club president." She bowed. 'Whoa, the Uchiha tribe is blessed with good looks.' She appraised him.

"Thinking of drawing me?" he asked. She jumped.

"Ah sorry…"

"What're you making a cute girl apologize, you should feel blessed when an artist considers you worthy!!" A new voice hollered happily. A large sweat-drop formed over Itachi-sensei's eyes.

"Deidara…" he started to say before a gorgeous woman stepped into the room, carrying several posters under one arm and balancing two boxes in the other. Her long blonde hair hung loose down her back, her eye's sparkled with amusement. (AN: I may have exaggerated his looks a little but c'mon, you know he's pretty. Or was...)

"Hello, I'm Deidara-sensei." She dropped the boxes on a nearby desk.

"Sensei? What do you teach?" Sakura frowned.

"Art!" Deidara-sensei exclaimed enthusiastically.

"So then Itachi-sensei…?"

"Him? He wouldn't know art if it grabbed his…" she stopped. "Well, he's hopeless in any case. He just helps me organize stuff. So I guess you'd call him sensei…" she leaned closer "he has a thing for girls uniforms so…"

"Deidara!!"

"Wait a minute…" Sakura had been studying this one closely. She was… "You're a man!!" she yelled. Deidara-sensei stopped, blinked, blinked again, then burst into laughter.

"Ye-yeh, I am…" he giggled "you're a sharp one if you caught that so quickly." His laughter died, he looked her up and own. There was nothing sexual about it though, it was like…

"Did I do that?" she asked Itachi sensei, indicating Deidara-sensei's actions.

"Yeh…" was all he said, hiding behind his hand. Deidara pulled it away.

"You can laugh Itachi, it won't kill you. Although I might die of shock." The way these two bickered and acted, they were…

"Are you a couple?" she blurted. Itachi, face turning deep red, hid again behind his hand. Deidara just smiled.

"Well, you are good. Do you draw…" he raised an eyebrow. She blushed.

"Only soft…"

"Ah, is that so." His eyes flashed. "Itachi, there're more boxes in the car, get them please." Itachi obeyed, leaving a little too quickly. "So, what's your latest project?"

"Well…" she grabbed her sketchbook and opened it to the profiles.

- - - - - - - - -

"Where did you go?" Naruto leaned against the railing of the school roof. (AN: Do these kinds of things happen on the roof a lot or is it just me?) Sasuke turned away.

"It wasn't me…Itachi wanted-"

"So what!?" he breathed deeply "…I know you love Itachi…but what about me?" Naruto turned his back to him, staring out at the city. "What about what I wanted…"

"Naruto…"

"Three years Sasuke…I waited three years." He turned "I'm tired of waiting." Sasuke started to say something, but didn't manage in time before a pair of warm lips caught his own.

"Mmmnnh" Sasuke moaned. Naruto finally pulled away, breathing heavily.

"Sasuke…chan."

"N...Naruto…" The Uchiha bit his lower lip. Naruto leaned into him, purring into his ear.

"It's okay, you can stop pretending you're all meek, quiet, controlled-ah!" Sasuke had bitten down on the tanned neck before him. "Ah, Sasuke!" Sasuke let go.

"Don't offer me this Naruto, or I'll take you right on this roof…" his voice deepened as he growled. "I really don't think I could resist…"

"Good." Naruto pressed himself into the taller man again, ghosting a hand across the uniformed thighs, moving slowly upward. Sasuke hissed, grabbing Naruto's wrist and slamming the blonde into a wall. He leaned forward, a wicked smirk on his face.

"I warned you…" he leaned up, keeping his lips barely a breath away from Naruto's. "I might hurt you…" he bit the lower lip in front of him, delighting in Naruto's gasp. "Do you like pain?"

"Mmmmm…hmmmnn." Was all he heard. He licked and sucked and even nipped a little bit, slipping his tongue into the warm mouth and exploring its secrets. Hands traced the skin under his shirt. 'Damn.' While he'd been busy so had the smaller man, nearly having divested Sasuke of his shirt already. Sasuke retaliated, running pale fingers over the bulge in Naruto's pants.

"S-Sasuke!" the kistune tried to say, but it sounded more like "mh-mhamnnngh" since there was a mouth in his way.

"Yes, Dobe?" He received a growl in response. Naruto jumped, crashing both of them to the cool floor. He landed between Sasuke's sprawled legs, grinning. Before Sasuke even opened his mouth Naruto had pulled the zipper of his pants down-with his teeth!! It was an extremely erotic view, to say the least. The blonde mouthed him through the clothe of his boxers, breathing hot air onto his lower organ.

"Ah!" Sasuke's head went back, smacking itself a bit on the tile. "Ah…ha..mmm…ah!" Naruto continued to work him through the underwear.

"Na-Naruto!" Sasuke yelped as said fox yanked down his undergarment. "Sto-ah!" he hissed as Naruto licked the slit of his hardening lower regions. Naruto smiled before lowering his head again. He took most of Sasuke into his mouth without warning, purring to increase the vibration. "Naruto…ah..ah!" he'd begun to suck. Hard. "Ah! Ha…uhah…ah! Ah!!"

"Sasuke!!" They both bolted upright guiltily as a voice yelled from the stairs.

"Shit!" Sasuke pulled his clothes back on quickly, buttoning the shirt back up as his brother, Itachi, opened the stairwell door.

"Sasuke, there you-!" He stopped. "You…" he stared at Naruto.

"Long time no see, Itachi." He tried to smile but it came off strained. Itachi ignored him.

"Sasuke, you are never to see this boy, you hear?" Itachi's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"We're in the same class, numbnuts." Naruto rolled his eyes. Itachi rounded on him.

"I don't want you near him, you dirty little bastard! You're nothing but a slut, seducing my brother! Go back to the orphanage where you belong!!" he spat, grabbing Sasuke and dragging him into the building, slamming the door behind him. Naruto just watched them, a looked of pain and hatred burned onto his face.

"Goddamnit…fucking bastard…fuck." He whispered into the wind, tears threatening to spill over. He would not let them. Why did Itachi hate him so much? 'I mean, he's gay and living with Deidara for the god's sakes!!!' Naruto bent his head to hide the pain, to hide from the truth. 'Dirty little bastard, orphan…slut, keep away! …'

"Itachi!" Sasuke pulled away when they reached the landing. Sasuke felt shaken at the look on Naruto's face, he thought he might have seen tears too, but it wasn't likely. Not with Naruto…

"Sasuke, that boy is bad for you, he'll ruin you!!"

"You're wrong!!" Sasuke yelled. He stopped, eyes getting big. Had he just said that to his onii-san?

"Am I? How can you say that? I love you, I want to protect you." Itachi stepped closer. "Promise me you won't see him."

Sasuke shook his head, trapped. "No, I won't. I'm sorry Itachi-nii-san…I think I love-"

"Don't!" Itachi yelled. "Don't say it. You're my cute, quiet, respectful and pure brother, I won't let you be corrupted, dirtied by him!"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Corrupted? Dirtied?" he growled "This is the first time I have ever truly disliked you, nii-san." He turned back up the stairs. "Later." He said, walking away coolly. Once he disappeared Itachi leaned heavily against the wall.

"Well, you managed to piss him off nicely." Deidara stepped around the corner, trailed by a blushing Sakura. Itachi jumped.

"…But, Deidara!"

"No, no buts. Lets just make sure they don't do anything too inappropriate up there." He shot Itachi a look. "We'll talk about it later…" he walked slowly up the stairs, quietly opening the door just a little ways. Itachi and Sakura squeezed in to see as well.

"So, he made you cry." Sasuke's voice was venomous, his footsteps heading toward the door. The trio scrambled backward, stepping over each other in their haste.

"Sasuke!!" the footsteps stopped. They crept slowly back, curiosity winning over safety concerns.

When the door opened, Naruto expected it to be Itachi come back to kick his ass. So when a very P.O.ed Sasuke walked out Naruto didn't know how to react. Sasuke stepped close, backing Naruto up into the corner. The brunette blushed cool fingers against a cheek the fox hadn't even known was wet.

"So" the voice was a growl "he did make you cry." Sasuke turned around, stomping to the stairs.

"Sasuke!!" Naruto hadn't meant to sound so desperate, but that's how some things go I guess.

"Yes?" the reply dangerously quiet.

"It's okay, it's fine. See, I wasn't even crying, it's raining." He dragged a hand over his persistently flowing eyes. "Goddamnit, that bastard did not make me…uuwh…" he sagged to his knees. Sasuke was there in a heartbeat, holding him close. "Am I really such a terrible person? Will I really…" he looked up into dark eyes "make you dirty? Am I…" he sniffed back more tears "Am I really just some slut?"

"No…nonono! You are beautiful, kind…what happened before…that wasn't you fault and you know it! Nothing that's happened to you is your fault…it was those damn perverts! And when we left because of…that scene," Sasuke sighed "it was me who started it. You know that, I know that…nobody else matters."

Naruto looked up startled "Not even your Onii-san?"

"…no." he only hesitated a little. "Not even nii-san. Did I ever give him shit for Deidara? No! The fact that I think Deidara is good for him has nothing to do with the fact that this man came and took up nii-san's time…"

Naruto pulled away "So you're just doing this for revenge on Itachi for choosing Deidara-chan!?!" big tears trailed down his face.

"No. Even if Deidara had never shown up…I'd still choose you. No matter what any one says! As long as I have you…can be with you…it doesn't matter. You're the only one whose seen my…other side…" he looked away, uncomfortable "And you like me anyway."

"Sasuke…"

Itachi stared hard to keep the tears at bay, one hand pressed against his lips. Deidara took his hand, holding firmly but gently.

"What incident, Itachi?" the Uchiha looked up. Deidara stared steadily into his eyes. Itachi looked away first.

"There was…he and Sasuke-chan…were…" he sighed, "I'd heard a lot of stuff about this Uzumaki character. None of it but his grades was good. How he'd…slept with teachers to earn more points…he was constantly surrounded by perverts…I just…"

"You just assumed he was a whore instead of people taking advantage of him. He's insanely cute, why hadn't this occur to you?"

"I…didn't want to like him. He and Sasuke were so close. He kept taking Sasuke to do things that I thought we should do…I was…" he stared at his hands.

"You are a very selfish man, you know that?"

"…yes."

"So why do I still love you?" Deidara lifted Itachi's face and kissed him. Sakura had this big smile; glad they'd forgotten her. She was also glad they forgot the other two on the roof, because it was getting interesting. She had her sketchbook out, making notes.

Naruto hugged Sasuke close, not sure he believed that Sasuke would really give up his brother but glad he had said it.

"Sasuke…nn." Naruto bit his lip as his Uchiha did the same to his neck. Little did either of they know, their audience was busily scribbling their every move.

,, Owari ,,

His other side meaning the icy bastard we all know and love.

Set this up for ppl since it is taking me forever to write my sequel and next chapter!! Whoever thought fanfiction could be so hard? Welp, I'll post this and a random series of One Piece oneshot to follow shortly. I know I should finish the others but if I force it it'll suck. So I've been writing about a paragraph a frickin day, hoping it'll add up soon. Please read and review, any and all encouragement helps!!