A/N: Happy Valentines Day everyone! Nothing fluffy here, since I am in no way in the fluffy mood. I'm more in the 'let me hang out with my best mates and bitch about everyone because its not like we have boyfriends to spend the day with'. So, have some slightly drunk sixth year Lily and Marlene to celebrate!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the lovely characters in this piece of crap. The lovely characters belong to JK Rowling, as does the jilyship and the benjelene (I don't know, what's their ship name? Are they even a ship?) ship.
"You know what, Marley? We don't need guys," Lily yelled, pumping a spoon-wielding fist into the air above her.
"Too right," Marlene replied, her voice slightly thick and slurred with the alcohol in her system.
"All we need is ice cream," she said, her voice not as slurred as Marlene's, but slurred enough as to tell she had been drinking.
"Ice cream and alcohol!" Marlene shouted, before jamming the already ice-cream coated spoon back into the huge tub they had been sharing.
"Ice cream and alcohol!" Lily seconded, before copying her best friend's actions and helping herself to a generous amount of the dessert.
"We are strong. We are independent. We are perfectly fine with being single on Valentines Day, the most romantic day of the year!"
"We don't care that Alice is off in Hogsmeade having a perfect date with her fiancée who bloody dropped everything to spend the night with her!"
"We don't care that our soul mate doesn't realize he's our soul mate and decided to spend the bloody night with his stupid-ass girlfriend who is so not good enough for him!"
"We don't care that the guy we have hated for the past five years is incredibly sweet and good looking and charming and WE DON'T CARE THAT HE IS OFF WITH BRIDGET JENNINGS AND WE DON'T CARE THAT WE MIGHT POSSIBLY LIKE HIM AND WE DON'T CARE!"
"WE DON'T CARE! WE DON'T CARE!" Marlene began chanting in between shots of Firewhiskey.
"WE DON'T CARE! WE DON'T CARE!" Lily joined in, balancing a glass bottle in one hand and a spoonful of dripping ice cream in the other.
"Who are we kidding, Lils?" Marlene asked miserably, stopping mid-chant and taking a heavy swig from the bottle of Firewhiskey. "We care."
"We – I know," she sighed.
"I care, Lily," she admitted, sighing and dropping her head back onto the wall behind her. "I care that Benjy has barely spoke two words to me this term. I care that he's seeing Yvonne Healey. I care that Alice has already planned her life out and it doesn't involve us. Lily, I care. I care so much."
"I care too, Marls. I care that I was such a stupid, blind, idiot, and I didn't realize… I didn't realize that – Marlene, he's The One. I can feel it. He's my One. And I let him go. He was there – He was there, Marley! My one was there and now he's over me. He told me. Straight up. 'Lily, you're a bitch and I'm done with you. Let's just be friends'."
"That asshole," she muttered. "That asshole. Lily, he's not your One, he can't be! He's an ass!"
"Maybe he didn't say it as bluntly and as rudely as I put it, but that was his general meaning. And he is, Marley. It's that feeling, the I-can't-stand-you-but-I-don't-think-I-can-live-without-you kind that means he's The One."
"Well your One is an asshole."
"I know," she grumbled, dropping her head into her hands. "What am I going to do, Marley?"
"What are you going to do… What are you going to do… What are you – I know what you are going to do!"
Now, Marlene was not known for her brilliant planning skills, and adding in the fact she was slightly out of sorts due to her level of intoxication, any semblance of a good plan went out of the window, which is probably why her next speech went something like this; "You know what your going to do? This. You're in James's Transfiguration class. You're shit at Transfiguration. You are so shit at Transfiguration you can't even turn a paperclip into a mouse. So you ask James for help and you get so close to him and then you POUNCE!"
"Pounce? Like a tiger? Like the rawr?" Lily asked, looking undeniably innocent and confused, green eyes wide and misty.
"No. More like… like a… like a sexy tiger. With the mre-aow!" she said, making claws and a swiping motion.
"I can't be a sexy tiger! How do I even do that?"
"You gotta show your stripes!" she cheered, before taking a huge swig of Firewhiskey and, true to the lady she was, wiped the excess off of her lips with the cuff of her sleeve.
"I don't have stripes! I'm… I'm stripeless."
"DON'T SAY THAT!" she all but screeched, like saying you were stripeless was the worst thing you could possibly say about yourself.
"I am, Marley! You know I am! I am the definition of stripeless!"
"You have stripes, I know you do. You just don't have them when it comes to pouncing."
"What stripes do I have then?" she asked skeptically.
"Your kind, and smart, and lovely, and great, and funny, and sassy, and pretty, and you've got stripes, girl!" she said, winking and sticking the full spoon into her mouth.
"Don't say that. Ever again."
"That you have stripes?" she asked with her mouth full, so she sprayed little drops of sticky dessert everywhere.
"No, complimenting me is fine. Saying 'girl' like that – no. Please don't," Lily sighed.
"I'm going to say that from now on," she said, grinning at her with chocolate coated lips.
"Great."
"Come on," she said, throwing an arm around her best friend's shoulders and squeezing her tightly. "Lets not get all upset. We have stripes, and we are strong, and while we may want to spend the night with our self-proclaimed 'Ones', we are spending it with each other, and to be honest, that's okay with me."
"That's probably the nicest thing I've ever heard you say, hon."
"Love you, Lils," she said, dropping her head onto Lily's ginger one and sighing.
"Love you too, Marls."
A/N: This is generally how I spent my day, minus the alcohol and add in more chick flicks and girls in jogging bottoms and blankets. Me and my friends are so productive and self-assured, did you know?