NOT TO WORRY! I have watched Black Butler, this is...eh.

Interviewer(s): Linkinparkfan9799 and xDemonChickx

Interviewee: Sebastian

My boss: Mrs. Oswaldes

Thanks to: xDemonChickx and my boredom

Knock. Knock. "Come in, Miss Oddball," Mrs. Oswaldes sighed.

I opened the door to the ancient bag of bones herself, a quill pen scratching on old parchment. "Isn't this 2012?" I rolled my eyes.

She scoffed and set her pen down. "Now, no need for such rudeness!" (There totally is because of the LAST disaster...). "Now," she motioned a weird blinky machine, "step in this for your next interview."

I blinked. "I didn't need to for Lelouch, and he's in 2017."

"Well, this is farther back, so there. Now, I have a ti-"

"LINKIN!"

I screamed as I was tackled by a crazy chick. I turned to huff. "xDemonChickx, OFF!"

She hopped off and turned to Mrs. Oswaldes. She did a salute and tackled me once again. "Yes," my (mother fcking bitch whore of a ) boss sighed, "she will be accompaning you."

"More people for Ann t-"

"Oh, Ann isormenting her classmates right now," she stated. "Jenniffer is...somewhere."

Jenniffer's POV

"LET ME OUT YOU MOTHER FCKING BITCH!" I screamed as I resisted the duct tape restraints. Crocodiles snapped their jaws under the cage I was put it. "OH SHIT!"

Present Me.

Not knowing what the heck happened to Jennifer, I walk into the machine with xDemonChickx. Next thing I know, we're falling. I scream in fright as she screams in delight, holding her arms out like she's parasailing without the parasail. We, well I, crash into something wooden and she crashes on me. So no, not we. I wince at the impact and the being used as a crash matress. I look at what I landed on and see it's...a top of a carriage? I look in the window to see a blonde girl, her hair in pigtails, with green eyes and a pink dress. I look at my own attire to see the Victorian prostitute's attire. "Shit!" I grunt. I look over to see xDemonChickx has something decent! "We're switching!"

"What?"

"Come on!"

"Hey-WAIT A SECOND!

FOL

"Wait...so you're here to see Ciel Phantomhive?" the girl asks.

"Y-yes," Demon answers, pressed to the far side of the carriage to get away from me, and yes, we switched attire.

"Actually Sebastian, his butler," I shrug.

Demon recovers quickly. "Ooh! Sebastian~"

As she rants on about his 'smexiness' (and proving 'smexy' and all it's tenses are actual words), I shake my head slowly and turn to the girl. "So...what's your name?"

"Elizabeth!" she smiles. "You?"

"Linkin, this is Demon," I motion the heart eyed psycho.

"-and that CHEST!" she drools. "I bet it's so hard~"

We scoot away and exchange sympathetic (and fearful) glances.

FML (Fck my life)

Elizabeth leads us to the door and opens it. Sebastian is dusting a vase (okay, I have to admit, bent over, he's irrestible) and turns to raise a brow. "Lady Elizabeth?" he blinks. "Who are your accomplis-"

"SEBASTIAN!" Demon tackles him. "OH YOUR SO-"

"HARDWORKING!" I intervene, yanking her off. "Y-yes, you're absolutely busy! Maybe we should just go!"

"NO!" Demon slaps, and I mean slaps, me. "WE INTERVIEW HIM AND THAT'S FINAL!"

This is an abusive job! HELP ME! "ALRIGHT!" I turn to the drool-over-worthy butler himself. "Uh...can we-"

"Of course," he smiles.

To be honest, I think he didn't want lunatics near Ciel.

FML

So here we are, sitting on a table, me tapping it nervously with one gloved finger. "Okay...first off," I look at my parchment, lifting my quill pen. "W-"

"Oh, can I ask?" Demon pleads.

"No."

"Why not?" she whines.

"Because you'll ask everything and I'll just be sitting here doing nothing but taking air in and blowing it out!" She sulks. "Okay, one-do you...God. I can't believe this!" I slam my head on the table.

"Something wrong?" Sebastian chuckles coldly.

Bitch. Bitch. Ba- "One- do you prefer guys or girls?"

Demon snatches the paper from me and her jaw drops to the table...and I wish it was figurative. "HOLY CRAP WHO ASKS THAT?"

"My boss," I point out.

"WELL SHE CAN-"

*intermission*

Wanna friend?

Wanna pal?

Want someone who will always be there?

Well...

I want a million bucks, but that's NOT gonna happen, just like you getting a friend!

*intermission*

"-IN A HOLE FULL OF-"

*intermission*

Need a life?

Download one on...

NOWHERE!

If you don't have a life, then there's no hope for ya!

*intermission*

"Seriously?" Sebastian and I turn to the 'intermission guy'. I groan. "ANN!"

"What?" she shrugs innocently. "I'm bored. Plus, Zero's gonna come soon."

"-LITTLE PIECE OF SOUPY CRAP THAT FCKS OTHER DCKS AND COLD SORES!" Demon pants.

I scoot away, Ann glomps her, and Sebatian covers his grin. "Yay~ I found my new mommy!" Ann sits on her butt and grips Demon's skirt, sucking her thumb.

I slap my forehead. "Sebastian?"

"I actually prefer neither, since my only concern is serving my master," Sebastian answers.

Demon pouts. "Okay, can I ask the next one?" she turns to me.

I hand her the list. "K."

"Two," she smiles, "what's your favorite...oh COME ON! EVERYONE KNOWS THIS!"

"I don't," Ann raises a brow. "Is that bad, mommy?"

"OH CUT IT OUT ANN!" I shout.

She starts bawling. "Oh look what you've done!" Demon snaps. She kneels nexxt to Ann and pats her back. "Sh, it's okay..."

"SHE'S A THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD VAMPIRE!" I groan.

Sebastian taps the table. "What was the question?"

"Oh, what's your favorite animal?" Demon states without actually meaning to.

"Cat," he answers.

"Okay..." I huff. "Let's take a break, shall we?"

Ann claps. "Yay~ bre-"

"ANN!"

We turn to Zero, in Victorian clothes, panting with a red face and a...leech jammed up in his wrist. "AH!"

As Zero tries to scewer her with some vampire-killing sword, I turn to Sebastian and Demon. "Lunch?"

They nod.

Well, this is going to be in two parts, so sorry about that but...

Ann: Yes?

You're destroying my studio.

Ann: Yay~