I do not own The Protector of the Small, or "Teardrops on My Guitar" by Taylor Swift. Though I did re-tweak the lyrics to fit. Honestly- Drew? Nah, so I replaced Neal. If you want you could look up the lyrics and see where I changed it! )
Neal looks at me,
I fake a smile so he won't see
I want and I need
Everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without
Neal and I walked out to the stables. Neal was talking about one of those pretty giggling court girls. He was really taken to her. Always talking about her beautiful eyes, and her voice and smile. And me, I just smile. Because I know that if I just smile, Neal wouldn't know how much my heart clenches everytime he talks about his loves.
We settled on our hourses and rode themm to class for jousting. Jousting went as normal, and Neal passed me a dazzling smile, and my heart flipped. We went to our other classes, lunch and dinner, but I was always singing. In my head, a song about Neal, that I knew he could never, EVER hear.
Neal talks to me,
I laugh cause its just so funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night
At the library, I laughed. I laughed as he took on a dreamy look, thinking about that new love of his- I felt jealous. But, he wasn't looking as he was putting his hand on the paper. Or so he thought. I only looked at him, his chocolate brown hair, glimmering bright green eyes, and his perfect face. Nobody else was there. I looked down, and laughed. Neal's hand knocked over the vile of ink, spilling it all over himself. Everybody laughed. But, even though nobody knew, my laugh was strained. Because I knew that it wasn't me, the person who caused him to be clumsy. I guess, I really wanted to be the cause. I want to be the reason why somebody spills ink over themselves. Me. Plain, old, rough, and tough Keladry of Mindelan.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishin on a wishin star
He's the song in my head
I keep singing,
Don't know why I do
I sat on my little bench near my window. On my lap was my guitar, no one knew I could play, though I've been playing since I was three. In front of me, I had some sheets of paper, with some lines full of lyrics and notes scrawled over it. I was stuck on the chorus though. I looked into the cool night air, and saw a shooting star. I wished and prayed for my deepest desire. And then; WHAM! Inspiration hit me. I wrote the words down and played the tune. It was perfect. Just like the person I was writing this for. Nealan of Queenscove.
Neal walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
There he goes again. Talking about her. We were sitting at the table, eating breakfast. I had just sat down, and he walked behind me. His body lightly brushed my back, and I gasped. I couldn't breathe anymore. As he sat down, I was angry at why he could affect me so. But one look at him, and I realized that I couldn't be angry. He was too perfect for his own good. I wished I could be that flawless, so he would notice me as an actual girl.
She better hold on tight,
And give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes know she's lucky cause
I thought about this girl. By Neal, she had the most beautiful eyes in the world. Bright hazel eyes with golden flecks. Well, I was anxious when he said hazel. But then he said gold. I only have those dull hazel eyes. Well, her eyes better be that bright because she better be showing him all the love in the world. I wouldn't know what to do if she broke Neal's heart.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishin on a wishin' star
He's the song in my head I keep singing,
Don't know why I do
I was in my room again. Singing and playing my heart out. I never realized who was outside. Neal was. He was listening to me, drinking in my words, my voice, my heart. He was listening to a taboo. I was always guarded by my mask of ice. But here I was, here he was, both of us listening to my heart's song. Stars flew over head, as my guitar pick plucked at the taught strings on my instrument.
So I'll ride home alone,
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight
Tears streamed down my face. My work was complete. I tried to stop, knowing it was hurting me. Knowing that Neal would never do or feel the same. I cried because of a lost love. I cried because- because someone beat me to it. To his heart. To my Neal's beautiful heart.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one that's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in my head I keep singing
Don't know why I do
I never heard the door open. I forgot to lock it. I never heard Neal come in. I never saw him look at me, with that look of love.
He's the time taken up
But there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
He pulled the guitar out of my hands. He pulled me up and hugged me. I hugged the life out of him and cried. He pulled me back, and I looked away. I was too ashamed to face him, he had heard what I truly felt, he was most likely going to yell at me- then walk away from the friendship we had built over the last six years. But he held my chin, and turned it upward to meet his eyes. The moon made them seem so much more brighter, and they were filled with love. He wiped away my tears.
"Why would be jealous of yourself?" He asked. I thought about. Then it dawned on me. If I actually had thought about what he was saying. Instead of thinking of my emotions, I would've realized. Just like I did now. That girl, she was me. Neal must've saw it, the realization in my eyes. For he pulled me closer and kissed me. A nice, blissful, sweet, long, mind blowing kissed. When we pulled back, I smiled.
Neal looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
I smiled at him, a fake smile. It was six years later. Four years ago we had gotten our shields. Four years ago we had gotten married. And now my smile, unlike six years ago where it covered my sadness and jealousy, this one covered my pain and anger. OH! I just wanted strangle him! Of course, this was the second time, you would've thought it would be less painful, but- BUT THE GODESS!!! Giving birth hurt like- like- GAH!!!!!!!!!
But it was worth it. Because everytime I looked at my two year old son Felix of Queenscove, and our new born daughter, Amaya of Queenscove, I see their father. Their light brown hair, and green eyes; with flecks of gold in them.