"Mary, hurry up. You're going to be late!" Mary woke with a start, peeling the textbook page off her cheek and squinting at the sun peering in through the kitchen window of she and her best friend Anna's flat.
She runs a hand through her hair with an exhausted groan as she stands, beginning to pick up the drained tea bags and candy bar wrappers that are scattered across the long table.
"No time for that – have you even looked at the time?" Anna scolds, as she takes the empty teacup from Mary's hands and turns her around. "Go, get dressed. Your psych final is in 20 minutes and I did not spend three days watching you survive on caffeine and sugar for you to miss it."
"Shit." Mary yells behind her as she runs into her bedroom, grabbing the first pair of jeans she finds on the floor and a t-shirt from her dresser. She throws on a coat that's been slung across her bed, reminding herself to take better care of her clothes when she heads back to Downton to visit next month Her mother would kill her if she knew how little care she took of such an immaculate (read: expensive) wardrobe. She throws her hair into a messy ponytail, grabs her bag and is out the door to class.
Across an ocean, the ring of his cell phone interrupts Matthew's morning routine of the day's edition of the New York Times and a somewhat-tolerable cup of tea. Looking at the caller ID, he smiles slightly and waits a beat before answering.
"Well well, so you are alive, then." He teases.
"Don't start with me. I've had about 75 cups of coffee and 2 hours of sleep in three days." Mary snaps, half-heartedly. "Sorry. I'm exhausted." He lets it go.
"I've been quite buried myself. Took my last exam last night, thankfully." He says empathetically as he takes a gulp of his tea. He winces a little at the bitterness. "Are you done then?"
"Yes. Now I plan to sleep for the next three days and awake just in time for the party." Mary says, as she shuffles to hail a taxi back to her apartment from campus. Walking seems too daunting a task today.
"Ahh yes. Someone has a birthday coming up, I vaguely remember." Matthew mocks.
"As if you'd forgotten after all these years."
"As if you'd ever let me forget."
"Never." She smiles, and waits before ending the call. "I must go – hailing a taxi is proving to be more difficult than expected."
"Don't they know who you are?" Matthew laughs, envisioning her hailing a taxi rather than waiting for her practically armored car to pick her up when she called.
"Few do, Matthew. Few do. We will talk soon."
He holds the phone mid-air for a moment before he hears the dial tone. He turns back to his paper, finding it hard to focus.
"Did you invite him to the party?" Anna asks, handing a pile of clean plates to Mary to put away. After a long nap, they decided to make a good meal and split a bottle of wine to celebrate the end of a long semester. They were close to the end – only one more year left – and victory was so close they could taste it.
"I've mentioned it several times to him. Matthew's never needed a formal invitation. He knows that." She responds, shaking her head. "Anyways, he's in America. It's not as easy as it used to be." Anna senses the sadness in her voice, knows how hard it is for her to talk about him. How hard it is to miss something for so long.
"It was never easy with you two. You always found a way to make it immensely complicated." Daggers shot from Mary's eyes, urging Anna to change the subject. "Sybil is coming, and Edith."
"Oh, great. Edith. I'm sure she'll relish the opportunity to embellish how I'm single and she's engaged to be married. I can hear it." Anna giggles, knowing Mary exaggerates, but fully expecting to hear the words from Edith soon after her arrival. "I am so excited to see Sybil though."
Of all her family, Mary misses Sybil the most. When Sybil left Downton two years ago and moved to Ireland with the Peace Corps, Mary was the only one who supported her. They always had a bond that neither shared with Edith – Mary loved Sybil as not only a sister, but a best friend. But now, the letters get scarce and the phone calls even scarcer. Mary forgives it, as she knows Sybil is on a quest to quite possibly save the entire world one day.
"They will both be on their best behavior, I'm sure of it. It's not everyday their big sister turns 21." Anna replies with a quick nudge and she walks past to the living room. "Bates said that Steven is planning on coming."
Steven. Mary's more off-again than on-again conquest. He adores the ground that she walks on and Mary can't say she's ever said the same. It feels nice to be with him, in a way that can only be described as comfortable. But it's never been passionate or lustful or needy in a way that she felt with…it doesn't matter. Steven's here and he wants her and he's of decent breeding. Both of his parents are doctors; he's in med school. He could certainly fit into the mold he would need to in order to become her husband. She shudders at the idea of marrying him. The sting of guilt that comes with leading someone on for the sake of pacifying your own insecurity.
"Well, that will be quite the group then. I can't wait." Mary smiles as she heads to her bedroom. "Night".
"Mary," Anna calls as she walks past. "He would come if you asked him to."
"That's the thing, Anna. I'm tired of asking things of him." Anna's eyes close as Mary's bedroom door shuts.
"My flight leaves at 2:00 tomorrow, Matt. Are you sure you don't want to make a surprise appearance?" Bates asks his best friend as he begins to pack his suitcase. Matthew sits in a chair on the other side of the room, drinking a beer.
"Laura would make me rue the day and you know it." He laughs, taking a swig and rolling his eyes.
"What else is new?" Bates deadpans, counting undershirts and putting them into his case.
"Alright, alright. I know how you feel about it. No need to rehash." He responds as he stands, using the wall as a crutch after three too many.
"I just think you could do better."
"And by that you mean Mary."
"I just think there's unfinished business there." Bates says, closing his suitcase and walking past Matthew out of the room and into the kitchen. He grabs another drink for both of them. Matthew waves it away, knowing he's had enough.
"Maybe there is, I don't know. But she said that if I was going to America, it was going to be without her. And I made a choice."
"And do you regret that?" Bates' question lingers in the air for too long. Matthew drains his bottle and puts it in the sink, turning to rest against it in silence. Bates continues.
"Do you regret it?" After a few minutes of silence and staring into thin air, Matthew answers in nearly a whisper.
"It doesn't matter, Bates. None of it matters." They are both snapped back to the present by Matthew's phone vibrating on the cold counter.
"Laura, darling. Hi…"
"Well, what does that even mean, John?" Anna asks emphatically, as she sifts through birthday decorations at the party store.
"I don't know, dear. He's stubborn, she's stubborn. I don't know what to say anymore." Bates says, shaking his head as he waits at his gate to depart for London.
"It's more than that. He asked her to go with him and she turned him down. She asked him to stay and he went. They're hurt."
"It's been two years, Anna. They've grown up. They aren't kids anymore. We can't fix it for them."
Anna points to a set of balloons on the store wall, as the employee pulls them down and blows them up.
"Just leave it be, Anna." With a sigh, Anna resigns.
"Fine. But I can't promise I won't have an ulcer before this party is all said and done."
Mary wakes up early on her 21st birthday to the buzzing of her cellphone on its charger on her nightstand. She rolls over and is greeted by several text messages and four missed calls, two voicemails – from Sybil and her grandmother. Most of her friends have already texted her their birthday wishes and how excited they are for her party that evening.
She scrolls through the messages before getting out of bed. She puts on her robe, knowing that Bates would be up and around the flat.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Mary jumps three feet in the air before Anna rushes at her, grabbing her in a bear hug and a kiss on the cheek. Mary sees her favorite breakfast pastries, balloons and flowers on the table.
"Anna! You shouldn't have." Mary proclaims as she makes a beeline toward the croissants on the table.
"Well, the pastries and balloons I can take credit for. The flowers, however, I cannot." Anna places a hand on Mary's shoulder as she leaves the room to change. Mary sits at the kitchen table and takes the card from the flowers as she pours herself some juice.
She scans to the bottom of the card and can't help but feel disappointed.
Mary –
Happy birthday, beautiful. I can't wait to see you tonight.
Love,
Steven
She folds the card up and puts it back in the arrangement and finishes her pastry as she looks out the window.
"Matthew, get in the cab right now!" Matthew hears Laura's piercing yell through the cold New York air and wants to run the other direction. "You are drunk. Get in the car and let's go." She gets out of the cab and grabs his jacket, pulling him toward the car.
They went out that night to celebrate the end of the semester with a few friends and things got out of hand. Shot after shot after shot led to shot after shot after shot and soon enough, he ended up like this. Sad, drunk and wanting to be somewhere else completely.
"Lemme go, Laura!" He slurs, putting her into the cab and closing its door, pounding the trunk signaling the driver to take off. He does, and Matthew sees Laura's face as she drives away. As angry as it's ever been. He doesn't remember why he ever loved her. Wondered if he ever did at all.
He wanders for a few minutes and saddles himself to a park bench. Head in his hands, he doesn't know if he wants to cry or sleep or vomit. Too many nights have ended like this. Too many nights he hates it. He looks at his phone and holds it close to his face as all the words blend together. He searches for her name, and finds it in his recent calls.
Mary steps out of the shower and wraps her hair in a towel as she hears her phone ring in the other room. She sees his name and mentally checks the time in America before she answers. She knows what it means when he calls at this time.
"Matthew." She says, breathlessly, concerned.
"Birthday girl. My birthday girl." He says, quiet and sad.
"Hi, Matthew. Are you okay?" She sits down on the edge of her bed, wrapped in her towel.
"Of course I am. I'm always okay." He says, faking a laugh and a smile. "It's your birthday. It's the best day."
She smiles and wishes it wasn't like this.
"Where are you? It sounds windy."
"I'm on a park bench." He replies, his voice sing-song.
"A park bench? Matthew, go…"
"Stop it. I'm fine. I wanted to call you. I wanted to talk to you on your birthday. I want to talk to you everyday." He slurs his speech but Mary doesn't mind.
"I want to talk to you too." She concedes. The line goes silent for what seems like an eternity.
"Mary, I think we made a mistake." Her eyes close with his words. They've been here before. Every time one of them is drunk beyond censorship, one of them always says it. And it hurts like salt in a wound.
"We've been through this before. We can't keep living in the past. We both made choices."
"Maybe I made the wrong one." Tears fill her eyes as she hears his voice break.
"Maybe. But you're there and I'm here. This is what it is. You're my best friend, Matthew. And to me, that's better than nothing." She smiles half heartedly.
"You're my best friend too." She hears a car door slam in the background and Laura yell his name and demand he come home.
"Happy birthday, Mary."
The phone line goes silent and Mary cries.
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