Behind This Smiling Face Is a Perfect Hiding Place
Disclaimer: I own nothing, just the storyline.
Author's Note: Thanks for all the lovely reviews and big hug to Rach for beta this for me. You were fast as always.
"Why do you hide?" asked Joseph as he walked up behind Clarisse in the garden. The queen was busy with the roses…
"Oh, Joseph! It's you," Clarisse smiled and turned around. "You scared me a bit." Clarisse wanted to continue, but suddenly she stopped. His expression was kind but also serious. "Why am I hiding? I just have a little spare time and the garden is so beautiful today. Why Joseph? What is the problem?" Clarisse asked, because she was at loss.
"Why do you hide?" Joseph repeated patiently.
"I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you are trying to say…"
"You're always smiling," Joseph answered.
"And what is so wrong with that?"
"You smile when you don't mean it."
"Are you trying to say that my smile is fake?" Clarisse chuckled. "Oh, Joseph. I am the queen, I always have to smile. That's a part of my job."
"But you are always smiling indoors too. Even when you are with me or Charlotte. When you get some bad news, you smile. When you are angry about something, you just smile."
"Yes, because people expect to see me happy, balanced and assertive. And I love positive thinking."
"No," Joseph answered; refusing to break the eye contact. "You are just hiding."
Clarisse could not breathe for a moment. He was so self-assured and knowledgeable. He knew her too well and it surprised and scared her at the same time. So she began to take offense. "If you knew me so well, you obviously know what I am hiding!"
"Yes, I think I do know," said Joseph. He took a deep breath before he continued. "You are hiding yourself – your fears, your weakness. You think that you always have to hold to higher standards of behavior. You cannot afford to lose it. Instead you suffer on your own, where nobody can see you. You cry in the darkness, strengthening yourself for the next day, when you will be strong and reserved again, as if nothing had happened. "
Clarisse was speechless for a moment. He could read in her thoughts, like an opened book. "I have to live up to the expectations," she said softly.
"Yes, I understand this, but you don't have to hide all the time. You can take a break… at least when you are with me."
Clarisse's angriness faded far away when he said the last bit, and suddenly she realized something…
"So you think I'm hiding -- behind my smiling face. But what about you? Yes, you, Mr. Black Jack." Clarisse said and looked at him challengingly.
"Me?"
"Yes, you are also hiding something." said Clarisse as she started walking around him. "You are always wearing black, Mr. Head of Security. Don't tell me that is normal."
"I didn't say anything."
"So what are you hiding, Mister?" Clarisse asked with a triumphant expression on her face as she stopped in front of him.
"I'm hiding… you."
"What?!"
"My feelings about you. I am trying to be invisible. Perhaps if they don't see me, maybe they won't realize my feelings about you."
"Oh…" Clarisse sighed. Her eyes fell.
"I just don't want you to hide yourself as I have. I know how awful it feels… and I want see you happy."
"Happy without smiling?" Clarisse asked teasingly and looked up again.
"I want you to smile, but only when you feel like it. When you are happy. And not just when you have to pretend that you are happy."
"And how would I know if I am happy enough for smiling, in your opinion?"
"Well, I think I have an idea… Let me show you." Joseph smiled as he leaned over and kissed her…
The End