Disclaimer: I do not own Magi or any of its characters.
In the aftermath of her first public appearance, Empress Kougyoku feels like a moth stripped of its wings and commanded to fly. She has delivered an earth-shaking speech, which, judging by the reaction of her people, has boosted their hope for Kou's revival. Throughout the nation, men and women alike take to their fields armed with hoes, plowshares, and confident hearts. The empire shall fight back is their battlecry, and they'd rather die than lose this leg of the war. If only their leader had the slightest clue what to do next.
"I was a princess. I was a general. I captured a dungeon. But I have never been a farmer or a merchant. Should I focus on establishing merchant outposts? Or send officials to distribute farming tools to the provinces? Wait, not many citizens have basic knowledge of agriculture. Perhaps scholarly research is what we need?" For all her enthusiasm, Kougyoku has about as much experience with trading companies as she has with housework.
Beside her, the brains behind Kou's farming revolution smooths his brow after a long morning perusing the latest reports from the capital. He's down to the last thick scroll when he notices his friend staring downcast at the floor.
"Why don't you survey the place yourself?" he suggests. "To witness the true state of this country with your own eyes. You should know; you're their ruler."
"Yeah…I should." She lowers her head even more. He's right. The world has changed so much—Kou has changed so much, and she has yet to acquaint herself with it on a personal level.
I guess I was a little overwhelmed.
Then she remembers that her friend was away for three years, yet secured their first breakthrough in the span of three hours. He, an outsider, who has every right to treat this nation as his enemy, is taking Kou huge leaps forward with each passing day while she, the Empress, sits around chasing voices from the past as the country she has sworn to protect falls apart.
"Have you ever set foot outside the palace during your reign?" he asks suddenly, breaking the chain of condemning thoughts.
"Once. To beg Sinbad for reprieve. For my people. For my brothers. Alas, he's ever the heartbreaker."
For the span of three blinks, Alibaba's gaze is unreadable. Then his eyes light up and she knows that something's up.
"Want to come with me, Kougyoku? Let's go outside!"
"Outside?"
He grins.
"That's too vague. Outside as in the courtyard or outside the palace proper?"
"Outside meaning…" he gets out of his chair and stretches his arms, "let's take a tour of Rakushou!"
Ka Koubun, as usual, is against the idea. Kougyoku's disguised in commoner's garb, but the absence of gaudy make-up is not enough to convince the ex-prime minister to give his approval.
"Absolutely not! We can't risk endangering Kou's one and only Empress!"
"It's alright, Ka Koubun. You're here to protect me. Besides, few people recognize my face. And don't forget Alibaba-chan is as good as an army. He got past the palace guards, remember?"
"But breaking through ranks of soldiers is different from saving a princess from robbers!"
"I'm not a princess anymore. And did you know Alibaba-chan was a former boss of a gang of thieves?"
"What? Then…all the more reason not to trust that guy!"
"After all he's done for us, you still don't trust him?"
He clears his throat indignantly. "As the former prime minister, I believe myself to be a rather good judge of character."
"Well, the current prime minister orders you to escort me around the city, and as his assistant, you are obligated to obey."
A soldier snickers. Another hides a wry smirk.
With much reluctance, Ka Koubun swallows his retort and accompanies the empress, prime minister, and a trio of guards to assess the condition of the run-down capital.
Everywhere they turn is a picture of ruin. Broken doors, starving children, smashed bottles at every corner, a rumble or two over half a loaf of bread. Meandering roads lead to a giant heap of rubble, foul with depravity.
Kougyoku stares aghast. "These are the slums of Rakushou? I thought it was just a rumor. I know Kou's in a state of decline, but never once did I imagine…"
These are the same roads she and Judal played in. There's no festivals, no gold lanterns, no singing — just tattered shards of a shattered dream. Wine is not silly laughter among comrades, but the throes of despair.
The city is quiet with grief. Citizens are in mourning, she realizes. They haven't just lost their jobs. They've lost their pride.
A cry ricochets through the stale air. The peddler they just passed begs for help, but no one responds as thieves descend like a flock of ravens harassing their prey. Former soldiers, she surmises from their skill.
Kougyoku and company rush to put a swift end to this atrocity. The guard nearest her hands her a spare sword. Grasping it firmly, she advances, poised to strike down their opponents like she has done so many times in the past. But her vision blurs and it's the Kanan plains again and all the faces she slaughtered and the rancid stench of death.
"Watch out!" Was it the peddler who screamed? Never mind. She's sweating and Kouha's shouts are ringing in her ears. Her hand has frozen around her weapon, but it slips.
With a chilling shriek, one of the stragglers slices off the edge of her sleeve. He's clearly inexperienced, uncoordinated, and mad with hunger, so fending him off should be no big deal. But her hands are shaking. The blade in her grip is too heavy to swing. She drops it.
The man charges forward. She ducks at the last moment, narrowly missing the tip of his dagger.
"Princess!"
"Kougyoku!"
Alibaba sneaks up behind the offender and knocks him out cold. She's saved.
"Are you hurt?" Ka Koubun checks her forearm anxiously. There's not a single drop of blood. He sighs in relief.
"I-I'm fine. But I-I think, we should g-go back now." Scrambling to her feet, Kougyoku dusts off her clothes and hurries off in the direction they came.
Four years ago, a potbellied dwarf named Zepar sprung a cruel trap in her mind. Four years later, she's haunted by the stain a thousand waves could never wash away.
Even as a princess, Kougyoku has always been unpredictable, but never has Alibaba seen her this helpless.
It's unthinkable that this girl who fought monsters, who challenged him to a duel, who all but obliterated a gigantic former magi of Alma Torran is now trembling at the sight of a sword. Layers of silk do nothing to hide her trepidation. And that deathly pale face…he knows that face. That was him after his father's death. Him after Cassim's betrayal.
A sword clangs into cobblestone with the weight of a hundred dying breaths. Before his eyes, Kougyoku the empress and Kougyoku the warrior fade away. All that's left is a dull silhouette of a lost girl begging to be found.
The rest of the day is uneventful. More than once, members of the economic committee can be seen stifling a yawn or two behind their books. Even the normally cheerful Alibaba resigns himself to worried glances at the empress, who has yet to speak a word. Her face is a mask of longing, discouragement, and guilt. It's a far cry from the fiery monarch of yesterday who shook an entire nation with a single speech.
Night draws near, and in the fading afternoon light, two silent figures make their way to the dining hall. Kougyoku walks with vacant eyes, too lost in thought to strike a conversation. It's best not to push her, Alibaba knows, humming instead and diverting his attention to the paintings hanging on the walls. Two of them — a huge swash of red and black hanging side by side in matching silver frames at the very center – pique his interest. Together they form a family portrait of the Ren family. There's the two former emperors, Hakutoku and Koutoku, surrounded by their children, all dressed in their finest silks. Most are unfamiliar faces, and the ones he does know are around a decade younger, but there's no mistaking the dead serious eyes of the youngest prince.
"Eh, is that Hakuryuu? He's so cute! And these two imposing figures in the background are his brothers, right?"
The mention of her sibling finally snaps Kougyoku out of her daze, and she too draws near the cherished portrait.
"Those are Hakuyuu-dono and Hakuren-dono, eldest sons of Emperor Hakutoku."
"This guy Hakuyuu looks as stern as Kouen," Alibaba observes.
"They were very close. Kouen onii-sama often speaks of him fondly."
Next up for scrutiny are seven red-headed females with various hairstyles. He easily finds the timid girl with twin loops on her head, like butterfly wings. She's painfully shy, slightly cowering back and nearly drowned out by the confident smiles of her sisters.
"That's you, isn't it?"
"How'd you tell?"
He chuckles. "You look as if you'd bolt any minute."
She almost manages a smile. This was her back then, and though they weren't too close, this was family.
Alibaba's gaze shifts to the next painting. The subject is Judal, pride of the Kou Empire. With a boa draped around his neck.
"That was supposed to be a cobra but Judal-chan freaked out when he saw the 'evil slimy thing'. Kouha onii-sama pranked him afterward with a baby snake and Judal-chan couldn't sleep for days," Kougyoku explains, recalling the antics of the juvenile recidivist she had for a brother.
The last frame is of Hakuryuu the Emperor. Clad in imperial robes, he's regal and imposing and…somewhat regretful.
Kougyoku's portrait is nowhere in sight, and Alibaba's not surprised. It would take immense skill to capture the facets of this girl he's seen over the years. There's Kougyoku the princess, the daughter, the sister. Kougyoku the warrior general, fighting to protect what she cherishes. Kougyoku the friend, crying and laughing as she weaves flower crowns in the garden. Kougyoku as ruler of an empire on the verge of collapse. And now Kougyoku standing beside him, a hollow shell of her former self.
"Ne, Alibaba-chan, what's it like to be a prince in exile?"
Are my brothers alright? she means. He can't reply to that. He's made plans to pay a visit to the three siblings in a couple of days, but until then, there's little he can say to reassure her.
"It's not so bad, actually. You get to see the world from the other side. And during royal parades, you're not staring down at the crowd, but from it."
"And when you return home, will you be the same?"
That's a question that's always been nagging at his thoughts yet no one thought to ask. Years and years and countries later, he's found the answer.
"No. You won't."
"Oh. I see." Kougyoku retreats into herself once more and the hall relapses into silence. Minutes pass. They resume their slow march to their next meal, but Alibaba has lost his appetite.
There's something he needs to tell her.
"Your family isn't gone, Kougyoku."
She whirls on him with a desperate look, threatening to snap if he doesn't do something quick.
"Your family isn't gone," he repeats, more slowly. "It's just grown bigger. You've got a whole nation to love and protect now. As long as you keep fighting, all of Kou will back you up."
She doesn't cry. She doesn't scream. There's a furious tempest churning in her eyes, yet she remains calm as a lagoon in fair weather.
"You're right," she concedes at last. "I'm sorry for not realizing it sooner. Thank you for pointing it out."
It's been a recurring trend in their friendship, apologies and thanks. The years have changed them, but the pattern remains. And he'll give her another reason to be grateful.
"As for the old goat—I mean, Kouen, Koumei, and Kouha - I'll definitely bring them back!"
When was the last time she saw her brothers? Three years ago. When was the last time she held a sword? Three years ago. When was the last promise she made to a friend? Three years ago. Three years is a long time, Kougyoku thinks, as she wanders around the deserted barracks. She had reaped more than just her brothers' exile or the weight of a grudge, that fateful day. A whole nation was robbed of its spirit and consequently splintered apart.
If only she could turn back time, trade scepters for peaches and gold crowns for daisy chains. If only Sindria were just an island paradise and not home to her mortal enemy. If regret were the new commodity, she'd already have paid off their debt.
Her grip tightens on the hilt of her sword. The fingers of her right hand begin to wiggle—the telltale sign of another nervous breakdown.
The noise of a battlefield looms in her mind. This is where they lost it all. This is where she lost herself.
You used us, Sinbad! You pretended to be our ally! You used Hakuryuu! You used me! How could we have been so naïve?
She slashes at thin air. With each violent thrust, a fresh wave of hatred explodes, cutting down memories—cutting down everything.
I promised I'd protect them with my life. But you made a fool of me!
Slice. Slice. Her weapon hasn't dropped.
Was it all a game to you? Well, guess what, the war's not yet over.
Her footwork's coming back.
We will reclaim our country! Our family! Our Kou!
She has declared war, and it's turning out to be much trickier than knowing how to parry swords. She may not be as smart as Koumei, or as strong as Kouen; still she will fight.
All her life, she has only ever been running away. Now is the time for running toward.
She swings again, putting all her strength into one last blow. The scene shifts. She finds herself in Magnostadt, surrounded by her brothers. Before them is a giant sphere of black rukh. Kouha's shouting "Destroy ten thousand of those things? You've got to be kidding me!" and Alibaba's charging forward with her eldest brother. She was staring death in the face and yet very much alive.
Where is that warrior now?
"You're strong, Kougyoku."
"You're all that's left, Kougyoku!"
"The only one that can restore this country's pride is none other than you, Kougyoku!"
"Empress Kougyoku!"
She sheaths her blade. Training's over. Let the real battle begin.
The empress is crying. Ka Koubun runs to her aid, nearly crashing into Alibaba, who has also noticed her tears.
"I did it!" she sobs. "I did it, Ka Koubun! I did it, Alibaba-chan!"
"Did what? Did what, Your Majesty? Did you cut yourself?!" The panicking man shoots Alibaba a nasty glare as though blaming him for those glistening eyes.
"You were holding a sword," he states. She nods.
"Exactly!" Ka Koubun interrupts, visibly furious. "Who's the fool who let Her Highness handle such a dangerous weapon?"
Kougyoku wipes her eyes. "Yes. I can hold a sword. I can fight now."
"Whaat?" Ka Koubun nearly screeches, frustrated to be left out of the loop by his liege and his successor.
Alibaba doesn't have a handkerchief to offer but he doesn't need one this time. Those are happy tears.
In the aftermath of a war, Kou is riddled with as many cracks as there are roads to the future. But they will survive, one day at a time. Tomorrow the prime minister will set out for a rendezvous with the exiled princes and the empress will plow through reports of agriculture. Tomorrow the sun will rise and the moon will shine, and side by side they will watch the ashes of a country come back to life.