WELCOME TO THE SIMULATION!

The four words blared in the back of Luigi's head.

"Ugh..."

He suddenly realized he was lying on a hard, cold stone floor. Lifting himself into a sitting position, he also realized that the words were not in his head, but on a black screen directly in front of him.

WELCOME TO THE SIMULATION!

Where was he? The last thing he remembered was going to the movies with Daisy, but...

Daisy.

Where was she? He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he let something happen to her.

But then...

Wasn't Daisy the one who had tackled him to the floor? Who had hit him hard enough to make his neck bleed? Who hit him hard enough to make him go under? That was the last he remembered before he woke up...

WELCOME TO THE SIMULATION!

No, no. His memory was faulty. Why in the world did Daisy do a thing like that? Luigi already knew that Daisy could tackle him to the ground without even trying, but she wouldn't do something like that.

His neck was bleeding.

"WELCOME TO THE SIMULATION! And would you hurry up? I'm only being payed minimum wage for this."

"Hmm? Who are you?" Luigi let out another groan as he got to his feet. The screen seemed to watch.

"I'm a friggin' simulation tester person."

"But where am I?"

"You're in a friggin' simulation testing thing. Now press the friggin' A Button to jump and Control- I mean use your friggin' feet to run and jump. Get to the end of the friggin' simulation as fast as you friggin' can."

"And why should I?" Luigi inquired.

"Because, because... because... Princess Daisy is at the end. Now go get the friggin' princess as fast as you friggin' can."

Desperate and confused, Luigi began trudging through the... castle? It definitely had the same architectural design as one of Bowser's castles.

So where was he?

Luigi began running across the strange, deserted castle.

Daisy. He had to find Daisy.

And if he didn't... Luigi told himself that everyone would die if he didn't, just to keep himself going. He tried to concentrate on finding Daisy.

And then he reached a dark red door. Which he opened.

And Daisy was not there. When he tried to open the door again to leave, it was locked. He sighed, and turned around to look at his surroundings, which was just a long gray hallway with a room.

And then it hit him.

There was something bad at the end of the hallway. A koopa, or a monster. He was in a boss room. He knew he had to fight whatever was in there to get Daisy, and that was that. He checked his storage. Yes, a fire flower was still there. So he walked into the room, which was plainly a huge block of ice that he was walking on.

"Hello? Daisy? Anyone?"

One of Bowser's children loved winter and ice. But who...

Luigi heard a loud clang from behind him, and turned around to see the entrance was blocked.

"Hello? Daisy?" Luigi yelled.

"Hahaha... hello, dear Luigi!" A voice rang from behind him, trying to sound like Daisy's.

"Lemmy Koopa!" Luigi yelled as he turned to face his attacker.

"Romance is... gross. A waste of time, anyway." Lemmy shook his magic wand, and a yellow ball appeared underneath. "Let's play a game!" he cheered, and swung his wand. Another yellow ball emerged from it, and hit Luigi in the face.

He fell over, and almost forgot he was on ice. He nearly slipped of the block.

"Haha, Luigi's on his face! Luigi's on his face!" Lemmy sang as he cast another ball at him.

This time, Luigi was ready, and he jumped, missing the ball. Lemmy's face turned red with rage. "THAT'S CHEATING!" Lemmy screamed, almost falling off the ball. "You'll see what I do to cheaters!"

But Luigi was fast. Getting to his feet, he made a huge leap and landed on Lemmy's face. "And that's what I do to clowns," he said, hands on his hips.

Lemmy retreated into his shell, his face still swelling with rage. Luigi was expecting this, and dodged his shell as he came toward him.

Suddenly, the room expanded, and huge ball launching machines were revealed, mounted on the wall.

"I got my big brother to do this. Iggy's a master at machines," snorted Lemmy. All the machines prepared their ammunition and launched the circus balls. Somehow, Luigi managed to dodge all of these, and landed on Lemmy's face again. But Lemmy didn't retreat to his shell; he started dancing in a fit of anger, and the room expanded even more. All the walls and backround turned to a bright neon pink, and the ice melted into lava. The ball launchers also went mad, launching balls in a pattern the resembled falling stairs.

Luigi leaped off the ice at the last minute, and balanced himself on the falling staircase of balls. Lemmy was bouncing from ball to ball in a fashion that looked like he had been doing this all his life. Lemmy now cast flaming circus balls at Luigi. One caught Luigi by surprise, making him fall on his back. He felt the warmth of the lava he was about to touch, and screamed.

"Don't worry, Luigi, I'll end your pain..." Lemmy giggled. "Say goodbye, Luigi." Lemmy waved his wand ten times, and cast a gigantic ball that hurtled Luigi to an opening into a wall. As he ran out of momentum, Luigi began falling into a deep pit, one he could never escape.

"Haha! Loser!" Lemmy laughed as the room returned to normal size. He grabbed a walkie-talkie. "I did it! I did it, guys!"

"Yeah, yeah," responded Morton, who was in a room far away from Lemmy's. "Listen. I'm trying to calm down these idiots, they're having an arguing fit."

Lemmy heard Morton put his walkie talkie down, and could faintly hear him shouting to his siblings, "Guys! Lemmy's got Luigi!"

The clown koopa heard everyone freeze, and then they all erupted into a fit of laghterand joy. "Way to go, Lemmy!" he heard Ludwig say. "Now give me back those ten bucks I gave you!" and other compliments. Morton picked up the walkie-talkie again.

"Nice job, Lem. King Dad wants to talk to you." Lemmy heard some rustling, and then his father's booming voice.

"Good job, son. I'm proud of you; knew you could do it." Lemmy smiled. "Did you fire up the hypnosis yet?" his father asked quietly.

"Mmm... yeah. About to," said Lemmy. He walked over to the gap where Luigi had fallen and presses a few buttons. "Okay, it's ready."

"Yes... good, good... now just to get Mario..."