lolz, just something random I did when I had no internet access, and was waiting for dinner. Enjoy! And remember, it's Namco who own ToS, okay?


"So, umm, what do you call this dish again, Professor?" Colette asked nervously, prodding the mass on her plate cautiously with her fork, though she would rather have been doing so with a long stick.

The party had been forced to camp in a place that could be described quite perfectly as the middle of nowhere. It was getting too dark to fly safely anymore, so the party had been forced to land on one of the islands north of the House of Guidance spas (despite Zelos' pleas for landing a little further south). The island seemed just about uninhabited by monsters of any sort, deeming it a safe place to rest for the night.

"I would expect most people to know Curry when they eat it." Raine huffed, thrusting a bowl of the orangey concoction underneath Zelos' face, as he had yet to be served. He nearly passed out from the overwhelming smell, and had to hold his breath. He tried to accept the dish, but let go of his nose in the process and started swaying, then suddenly collapsed. Raine gasped, then withdrew the bowl reluctantly back. Everybody else merely shrugged, fairly unsurprised.

"He's a pervert, and he irritates me like heck, but geez, not even Zelos deserved that punishment..." Sheena whispered to Lloyd. He nodded in agreement, then went back to poking his own food with his fork. Raine turned around sharply to face the two, who quickly put on false smiling faces, and rubbed their tummies, pretending to enjoy the meal. Raine stared at them suspiciously, and an awkward silence formed as Lloyd and Sheena lost the will to live and let their faces drop. Raine's face slowly creased into a frown, and the pair began to panic under her gaze. Regal broke the silence.

"So, Raine, um, I must admit I'm curious. So tell me, what um, recipe did you use to create this, err, dish?"

"Well, Regal," Raine answered enthusiastically, thrilled someone was asking her. "I used the recipe Sheena gave me. I choose her recipe because I thought it was interesting how she uses pineapple to spice up the flavour, which is a little unorthodox, and I wondered if I could create a similar effect, only using different ingredients, due to the fact we're running a little short at the moment." She paused and looked around. "Why does everyone look so terrified?"

"Um, just what sort of ingredients did you use, Professor?" Lloyd asking, limply hiding his terror as he carefully and apprehensively balanced a lump on his fork, eyes trained on it at all times just in case it tried anything.

"Well, for a start, I used lemon instead of pineapple. I thought it would give it a nice spicy zest. And you know how much I love lemon." She added cheerfully.

"But Sis, only you like lemons. And besides, they're bitter, not spicy..." Genis interrupted, promptly receiving a smack to the back of his head. Raine carried on.

"But when I tried it, I thought that it wasn't sweet enough, so I added some sugar." The party all gulped at the same time, but Raine didn't notice. "But then it didn't taste right still so I added some tomato, and--" Raine was interrupted by Lloyd spitting out what he had just put in his mouth and starting to choke. Presea patted him and the back to try and help.

"I'm impressed he was brave enough to try it... Even more so that he managed to eat it without suffocating on the, um, 'interesting' smell." Sheena murmured. Raine heard her and glared suddenly at her, causing the ninja to shrink in terror. Colette, who was sat next to her leant closer.

"I wonder what was wrong: the tomato or the fact it's the Professor's cooking?" She added quietly. Sheena turned around to look at Zelos, who was still sprawled across the ground, unconscious. She glanced at his plate, which Raine had politely left on the ground next to him, just in case he was hungry or fancied trying any of it once he regained consciousness, which Sheena highly doubted.

"Well, looking at Wonder Boy over there," Sheena started, not taking her gaze off of Zelos, "I doubt Lloyd even managed to taste the tomato, y'know?" Colette giggled at this, which bought Raine's scrutinizing frown back upon them.

"Is something wrong, you two?" Raine asked in a disconcerting manner, gritting her teeth whilst trying hard to smile. They immediately shook their heads. "Good. Now, come one everyone, eat up before it gets really dark, O.K.?" Everyone nodded anxiously. Lloyd, who had managed to recover from his dance with death, moved over to Zelos and, with help from Regal and Presea, set about trying to wake Zelos up. It was a good excuse not to eat the meal. Sheena and Colette also realised this, and moved over to pretend to help. Genis would have done also, if he were not sat next to Raine who was watching him warily, suspicious that Genis might not actually want to eat the meal she worked hard to create.

"Whoa..." Zelos moaned groggily, "Did anybody get the license plate of that Rheaird that hit me?"

"Hey!" Raine yelled suddenly. "He doesn't need all of you helping him! You were all just trying to avoid eating my food, weren't you?!" Everybody turned around slowly, aware that they'd been caught (apart from Zelos, who was murmuring stuff along the lines of "Someone stop Tethe'alla, I want to get off..."). Raine sighed dejectedly. "It's not that bad, is it?"

"Um..." Lloyd hesitated.

"Is it?!" Raine asked again, more fiercely. After waiting several seconds and not receiving an answer, Raine scooped some of her 'curry' in her fork and held it out to show everyone. "Fine, I'll show you, I can cook, and—Oh dear..." And with that, Raine slumped in a pile, similar to how Zelos had not long ago.

"Quickly!" Sheena cried, jumping towards the cooking pot and spilling its contents on the ground (which worryingly withered all nearby plants) "Before she wakes up! Someone else cook something edible!" Genis immediately grabbed the food supplies, while Regal picked up a wooden spoon. Presea was already scrapping the 'curry' from the plates, and was set to go find somewhere to wash them. Meanwhile, Lloyd was tending to the Professor, pulling a blanket up over her.

"Hey guys, whoever's cooking, make curry. That way, we can remember what it actually tastes like, and trick the Professor into thinking it's hers still when she comes to!"


lol, I just had to write something about Raine's scary cooking. Hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to review, please!