Amazing

A Reed/Shane fic

I was so scared of everything you put in front of me
I've been arching every part of me
Just to see
See
Why you need me to be
The boy you need me to be

Reed pulled the duvet further over his head and curled up into a ball, trying to block out the painful images that swam through his head. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to stop them taking over everything else. He knew that he felt something for Shane, and he knew it was something big, but seeing Micah looking at Shane that way... It broke Reed. He couldn't see before. He couldn't see what Shane meant before. But now...everything was clear; painfully clear. He was in love with Shane. And Shane was in love with somebody else.

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saves a wretch like me
I once was lost
And now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

As Shane sat hunched against the back of the bedroom door all he could hear in his head was Reed's voice. Reed's perfect and beautiful voice. The voice that had saved him, that had given him hope, the voice that had made him fall in love. He tried to keep back the sob that was forming in his chest, but couldn't quite stop it from escaping. Reed was the only thing that had the power to make Shane smile whenever he thought of him. Sometimes Shane got so worked up thinking about his past, about everything that had gone wrong, that the only thing that could bring him out of that frame of mind was Reed. But deep down Shane knew he didn't deserve him, and he knew that Reed didn't feel the same as he did. Any chance of Reed developing the same feelings was shot down when Micah turned up. As much as Shane was happy to see Micah alive and well, he hated the look that crossed Reed's face when he saw him. And he hated the fact that because of Micah, Reed had now locked himself away from Shane and wouldn't speak to him at all. It was this that made Shane's chest ache with a pain he had never known. He knew that he loved Reed but...he didn't realise how much until he was faced with losing him. He loved Reed so much.

I'm the type of person who lets fear drive
I'm the type of guy who lets it drive
Cause I'm addicted, I'm needy,
I'm lost without you
I need you
I need you

Reed rolled over, groaning as he thought about how stupid he had been, how stupid he was. He was stupid to ever think that he had a chance with Shane. Shane was confident and happy and beautiful, and Reed was clumsy and unsure of everything, even how he felt about Shane. He should have realised sooner how he felt about him, he should have known, should have told him at the fair before Micah even turned up. Reed cursed himself for letting his fear control him; fear of his feelings, fear of love itself. He had never loved anyone before. And to think that he loved Shane scared him, but it was true. He loved him so much. He needed to tell him; whether or not Shane was with Micah he deserved to know. He loved him. And he needed him.

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saves a wretch like me
I once was lost
But now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

Shane wrenched himself away from the door, his mind set on speaking to Reed. He knew that Reed didn't want to see or speak to him, but Shane needed to explain. He needed Reed to know that he loved him, and no one else. It was always Reed. Amazing, adorable, beautiful Reed. And it always would be him. Shane pushed himself up, ignoring the way his legs ached from being cramped in the same position for most of the night, and left the room he was temporarily sharing with his brother. He needed to tell Reed how he felt; he needed Reed to know that Shane loved him. He made his way out of his brother's room and crossed the hall, lightly tapping on the door of the room that belonged to just Reed. He needed to tell him. He needed Reed.

Amazing grace (you're amazing)
How sweet the sound (you're amazing)
That saved a wretch like me

Reed jumped when he heard the knock on the door, and then he groaned when he heard it click open. He'd told everyone to just leave him alone tonight, and he'd asked Kurt to make sure that everyone stayed away. Obviously Kurt thought that rule didn't apply to him.

"Leave me alone, Kurt" Reed grumbled from under the mountain of covers and groaned when he felt someone sit on the edge of his bed

"It's...It's not Kurt. And I can't leave you alone" Shane said softly

Reed sat up and threw the duvet off of himself so fast that he made himself dizzy. "Shane?" He asked, and smile beginning to form on his lips before he remembered why he was hiding under his duvet in the first place. Reed's shocked and happy face was replaced by a weak glare in Shane's direction. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to talk to you" Shane looked up at Reed and saw that he his eyes were rimmed in dark red and that there were tears in his eyes. "Reed...what's wrong?" he asked, his voice full of concern and panic as he resisted pouncing across the bed and pulling Reed into his arms

"Oh...umm...nothing. It's nothing" Reed looked down, realising how bad he must look, and then he flopped backwards onto the bed and ragged the covers up above his head

"Don't do that. Reed, please" Shane said moving closer to the lump under the duvet

"Go away" Reed mumbled

"I told you. I can't. I need to tell you something" Shane said quietly, not moving from where he was sat

"Then tell me" Reed groaned

"Well...I just...I..." Shame stuttered over his words, not knowing exactly how to word his feelings

"You don't have to say it" Reed said sadly "I already know, okay? You don't like me anymore, you're back with Micah, you love Micah. I understand that" Reed faked a smile, before he realised that Shane couldn't see

Shane's heart sunk and he reached to pull the covers off of Reed so he could look at him. Reed shrunk back, trying to pull the duvet back over him, but Shane tightened his hold and pulled them all the way back and then sat on them so Reed had no way to hide

"You're so annoying. And stubborn" Reed grumbled, glaring at Shane

"I just need you to listen to me. Not hide from me"

"Then...talk" Reed shrugged, sitting up slightly to lean back against his pillows

"Reed... At the Valentine's fair...there were two people there...the guy I loved, and the love of my life"

Reed looked down sadly feeling the familiar sting in his eyes as tears waited to spill, as Shane continued. He knew which person he was. Shane had moved on and Reed was in the past now.

"Reed...I...I love you. I think I have since I first saw you. Micah's in my past. I..." Shane looked down, feeling awkward and vulnerable and spoke in a small voice "I want you to be in my future"

Reed's head flew up, his eyes full of hope as he looked at Shane who now had his head in his hands "Shane..." Reed began, but was cut off

Shane looked up with a forced smile "I know, Reed. It's cool. You don't feel the same for me. I just...thought you ought to know..." Shane shrugged, trying to hide how much he was hurting

"No" Reed shook his head before feeling dizzy and swaying, but he managed to stay upright this time. Shane looked at Reed, confused "That's not true!"

"I don't-" Shane started before Reed shushed him

"I was...really confused and unsure about myself and how you made me feel, but it makes sense now. Shane...I-I love you" Reed whispered the last part

"W-What?" Shane was sure he had heard wrong, or that it was wishful thinking, or he was delirious or something because he couldn't have just heard Reed correctly...

"I love you. And you can go away now..." Reed said as he hid his face with his hands, his face the colour of scarlet

Shane laughed "I'm not going anywhere. Let me just get this straight...you love me? You love me?" he asked, bright eyed with a grin on his face

"Yes" Reed groaned "Shut up now"

"Nope" Shane said as he shuffled closer to Reed so that he was right in front of him "Can you say it again?"

Reed sighed, feigning irritation as he smiled up at Shane "I love you, idiot"

"I don't think I quite heard. Say it again" Shane said, practically bouncing from the giddy feeling inside of him

Reed just whacked Shane lightly across the arm in response

"Oww" Shane cried, faking being in pain "That really hurt"

"No it didn't" Reed laughed, and the sound sent Shane even more giddy

"It did. It really hurt" Shane pouted

"Would you like me to kiss it better?" Reed said, before he blushed furiously and realised what he'd just said

Shane moved his hand to cup Reed's face as he spoke quietly "I think...my arm will be fine. But I'll happily have the kiss" he grinned

Reed blushed even more but closed his eyes and leaned forwards towards Shane. Shane softly brushed their lips together and pulled away grinning like an idiot. Reed blinked his eyes open and then laughed at Shane, who was currently looking very dazed

"I love you" Shane said softly

"I love you too" Reed whispered back as he leaned towards Shane, their lips meeting again.

I once was lost
But now I'm found
Was blind but now I see