Title : Reflections of a Former Amyrlin
Description : Nothing much, just our lovely former Amyrlin thinking. And some hints of Gareth, cause I'm a die-hard S/G shipper. So sue me. And, btw, it's very short.
Disclaimer : Wheel of Time is not mine. Until I save up enough to buy it from RJ.
The wheel weaves as the wheel wills, she tells herself. It's been so long. Or perhaps it only seems so. She wakes up sometimes and cries, because once she had the Amyrlin's stole wrapped around her shoulders, and kings bowed before her; even those who spat upon Aes Sedai were respectfully cautious to so powerful a woman. Now, she cleans Gareth Bryne's boots and lives for the day when the other sisters will welcome her truly, or when Nynaeve will discover a way to return her full power to her. On that day, she hopes, Siuan Sanche will cease to be the low creature she has become; she will be in power once more.
Or so she dreams. It isn't that bad; she has to stop being spoiled, she reminds herself. She's right arm and leg to Egwene, the Amyrlin now whether Siuan likes it or not. A child. Such a child. But Siuan will teach her, because it's all she's really good for now. Or so she feels. So hard to stop that feeling of being worthless, even when she's at her most proud. But it could be worse.
Except for Gareth Bryne. Nothing could be worse than him. Tall, or so he seems. Like a rock. He never moves unless he pleases; smooth as a dagger's edge. Not attractive. Siuan wishes he were. She's been with so many pretty men, she's gotten used to brushing them off. Blues abandon passions for causes. Pleasures are to be had from time to time, as a means of amusement perhaps; nothing more. But Gareth Bryne isn't pretty; he's the rock that survived the ocean's all-powerful waves. Siuan hates him for being so unmovable. Loathes him, in fact. Damn him.
And there is the work. She cleans his bloody boots, and his horse blankets. The former Amyrlin Seat, cleaning the soles of shoes worn by that man! She doesn't know whether to feel blessed or cursed or indignant, so the emotion results in a combination of the three. It's better than when he leaves from time to time, though. Because while there's the pain that he's gone, and the suffering; there's the freedom to be able to breathe without agony; and then there is the triumph because there are no chores to be done.
No, it's not so bad, she tells herself from time to time. She's got her plans, and her dreams, and her goals, still alive, even after all that soul-crushing agony. She'll win, she decides. And when she does, she'll deal with Gareth Bryne. She just has to decide how.