E.H.

Before I continue with the typical introduction to the story…

Disclaimer: Any and all Characters that are recognizable do not belong to me but to Masashi Kishimoto, the creator of Naruto.

Warning: This fiction is not light and fluffy. There are dark themes and plots. There is no non-consensual however…it is very blurry on just how consensual things are. If these types of themes disturb you either turn back now or tread very lightly.

Welcome to Petals to the Plunge. This is a Kakashi and Sakura fiction with a liberal dash of Sasuke and Sakura. This is a slight triangle romance with issues. Lots and lots of issues. Consider yourself warned!

ALSO! This is a repost! When I first posted this it was SUPPOSED to go in the Kakashi Sakura part! Sorry for any and all confusion! It switched Kakashi and Sasuke for who was supposed to be first! Now that I've found I can't fix that in editing options, I'm going to fix it this way! Thanks to all reviewers and sorry if you feel like you have to review all over again!

Thus Goes the Fall

Regret.

Such a strong emotion. It guides us in such an amazing way. It can shift everything from our routines to our mind-sets to our very paradigms. It is in such moments that we feel hopeless, lost, confused. We feel useless, hopeless, and helpless to stop the way the world moves. Regret and Guilt; Guilt and Grief. They rule our inner souls with an iron fist. None can truly rise out of its miry pits without help. In these times, we all need a life-line. Something to tether us back to reality; back to ourselves. That's all anyone can hope for. That's all there really is in the end.

…..

Viridian eyes stared into cerulean with disbelief. Lungs couldn't find the air to fill themselves; no matter how desperately they needed to. Guilt forced the blue eyes to tear away from the ones that were on the verge of filling with saline liquid. The lunch box on her lap was left untouched as she looked away from her team-mate. She couldn't even swallow the bite currently in her mouth. She closed her eyes and moved a blockade over her emotions; a trick she'd learned in the most recent years.

"…Sakura-chan…I—"

She turned to look at him with a forced smile that sadly, he didn't realize was fake. "No, no! Don't worry! I get it. I'm too busy with everything as is." She waved her hand dismissively before her face.

"You're not mad?" He hedged, nervously.

"No! Why would I be mad?" She laughed and forced herself to swallow. "I'm proud of you! Your first S-Class mission!"

"Yeah!" He suddenly turned bright and excited. "And I'm barely chuunin! Isn't that amazing?"

"Completely." She agreed with false joy for his sake. "When are you guys leaving, Naruto?"

"Tomorrow…" He scratched the back of his blonde head. "I was gonna tell ya earlier, but Tsunade-baachan said that'd it be better to tell ya later."

Sakura worked hard to keep her jaw unclenched. Naruto continued blabbering on with details he could talk about for the mission. He filled the air with chatter while shoveling food into his mouth. She drowned it all out as she moved the rice around her lunch box. He finally paused with a sigh.

"Suppose I need to let you get back to work, huh?"

"Yeah. Probably." She moved to rise. Naruto did the same and motioned to her food with a frown. "You didn't eat, Sakura-chan!"

"Oh, silly me. I guess I wasn't as hungry as I thought."

"You really need to eat! It's good for you!" He scolded her before grinning. "Well, I'll see you when we get back, okay?"

"Okay. Be safe, Naruto."

"You bet!" The blonde saluted her before turning and leaping off the top of the hospital. She didn't worry, knowing his chakra would keep him from harm. As he faded into the distance, her façade of happiness fell.

She stared after him, feeling for all the world like her younger self so many years ago. She turned and returned to her shift, throwing her lunch box away on the way inside. Her shift thankfully was a busy one in that it distracted her from her thoughts and feelings. The hours ticked by until she was free to go home. She didn't bother going by rooftop; instead she took the long, civilian route home. After all, that's all she felt like in the recent months. She reached her home and stared at the plaque beside her door. Five years had passed since the Shinobi war had ended. Konoha had been mostly rebuilt. She stared at the names of her parents feeling numb. It hadn't even been three years since she'd had to bury her parents. They'd been caught in the crossfire of a battle while traveling back from a vacation in one of the larger civilian cities in Fire Country. She opened her door and crossed the threshold, calling out a deadened greeting to the empty house before kicking off her shoes. She didn't bother turning on the lights. She relocked the door and headed across to the stairs. She walked upstairs to her room and crossed to her dresser. She stopped to stare at the photo before her. Her face was blank as she lifted it and sat on her bed, resting her hands in her lap.

They were doing it again. They were leaving her behind once more. She'd never catch up to them. She'd always have to see their backs as they walked away, laughing and telling her they'd fix everything for her. Her hands began to shake as she tried to hold back the anger and frustration. The glass began to crackle from the force of her holding it until it shattered in her hands. She ignored the stinging of the glass slicing her palms as she stared at the mess without really seeing it. She finally moved off her bed and cleared the mess away before washing her cuts carefully before healing them. They even had a different medic assigned to their team for this mission. Who the hell could have been a better medic for them than her? She grit her teeth as she stared at the now non-existent cuts on her hands. She couldn't figure out which stung worse; the fact her team was leaving on an S-Class mission without her or the fact that Tsunade-shishou had told Naruto not to tell her. Not able to take it anymore, she stormed from her bathroom and changed into her training clothes. She took the rooftops to the training grounds. The night air felt good on her super-heated skin. She found the best area and began to just…demolish with abandon. She screamed, yelled, hollered, decimated, destroyed, uprooted, and exploded trees and ground all around her for yards. She paused long enough to catch her breath and stared at the aftermath surrounding her. She dragged her arm across her forehead and paused as her fingers brushed her hitai-ate. She pulled it off her head and stared into the design. She let her fingertips trail over the emblem of her village.

'Why did I even bother…? Why did I work so hard only to be continuously slapped down like this?' She closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. She replaced it upon her head, yanking her layered mop of hair up into a ponytail.

"Sakura?"

She turned and looked at the older woman who had trained her. The honey-eyed, blonde-haired woman looked around in astonishment. "What are you doing out here this late and…doing this?"

"Why wouldn't you let Naruto tell me?" She shot back.

Tsunade stopped and looked at her blankly before she sighed. "Because, if you knew, you'd demand to go with them."

"They're my team!" Sakura couldn't keep the hurt from her voice. "Of course I'd want to go with them!"

"Yes, but I need you here more." Tsunade crossed her arms and leaned against the nearest, un-demolished tree. "I also have very good reason for keeping you here and sending them."

"What the hell could be a good enough reason to rip a medic off the team! Especially for an S-Class mission! Is the medic being placed with them even capable of handling them?!"

Tsunade's eyes darkened. "It's not a true S-Class mission. It's an A-Class mission that I deceived them into believing was S-Class. Well, that's not true either. I convinced Naruto it was S-Class to get him to shut up and just go."

"I don't understand." Sakura shook her head, feeling deceived and angry and so very lost. She flopped onto a pile of rubble that boasted a splintered log she could sit on comfortably. Tsunade nodded.

"I promise that I will explain things better. But not until they are gone."

Sakura frowned and stared at her shishou. "Why does it have to wait?"

"Some things can't risk being overhead." The blonde pointedly glared off into the distance and Sakura wanted to growl in frustration as she turned. She felt the energy earlier, but hadn't thought much of it. Now that she knew Sai was there, she wanted nothing more than to punch him for being a rude eavesdropper.

The Root member got the hint and left. Tsunade sighed and rubbed her brows. "Come to my office after your shift at the hospital tomorrow."

Sakura wasn't dumb enough to push the issue or argue, so she nodded. She stood and looked around with a grimace now. "I suppose I'll have to clean this up?"

"If you have to ask, I've taught you nothing." The humor in the blonde's voice made Sakura want to groan. She nodded and set to the task that would take her all night to finish.

…..

Sakura had bid them farewell before she'd started her shift. She was so tired by the end of the day, however, she still went to see Tsunade. She slid into the Hokage's office and smiled weakly at the older woman. Tsunade motioned for her to sit and Sakura crossed the room to sit in the chair that'd been moved in. She could only guess this was for her since it wasn't there any other time. She sank into it with a grateful sigh to be off her feet.

"Sake?" Tsunade offered. To this, Sakura raised an eyebrow. This wasn't going to be something she wanted to deal with if her shishou was offering her booze.

Sakura sat up and took the proffered cup, downing it. She set it down and fought the face she wanted to make much to Tsunade's amusement. "If you're offering me sake, this is fairly stressing isn't it?"

"More or less." Was the sighed response. "Understand this, Sakura, the only reason I sent team Kakashi on a mission at this time is because I couldn't have them interfering with your next assignment."

Sakura was instantly awake and sat up straighter. "What do you mean?"

Tsunade closed her eyes and let out a long suffering sigh. "I have reason to suspect that Sasuke has plans to finally attack Konoha. He's been dormant and quite for these past four years. I have some intel that leads me to believe that he has been spent this time rallying rogue nin to his cause. I don't trust any ninja or even kunoichi more so than I trust you, Sakura. Your knowledge of the human body, medical jutsu, chakra control, and even poison control makes you best suited to this mission."

"What is the mission?"

Tsunade stood and moved to the windows, closing them. Sakura felt her breathing falter as the older woman sealed the windows and even door before returning to her seat. "You are to apply for Anbu. The brief training there will be intense, but I have full confidence in you Sakura. Once you complete the training, I need you to do the hardest task I've ever asked of any of my nin."

Sakura tensed from the somber mood and swallowed.

"You will be a deserter, a rogue nin."

Sakura felt her breath leave her in a whoosh as she stared at her mentor, practically surrogate mother, and Hokage. "…become a missing…nin…?"

"Yes, Sakura. I need you to desert Konoha and take this burden upon your shoulders. I'm asking this with a heavy heart and mixed feelings. However, I know you will excel and move beyond any of our expectations. I want you to infiltrate Sasuke's organization and take them out from the inside out. When you succeed, and I know you will, I will clear your name and make sure your sacrifice is known. Until then…it will be as though you truly are a traitor. I will not be able to communicate with you during those times. It will be imperative that you stay away from Konoha until you've fulfilled your mission."

Sakura lowered her gaze to her feet and swallowed her emotions. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. The scared, little girl side of her wanted to throw a tantrum and demand something…anything…else. The woman, the kunoichi in her…rose up and took root. She rose her head with determination written on her face. She nodded and looked into her shishou's face.

"When do I start?"

Tsunade looked torn between pride and guilt as she nodded to her apprentice. "As soon as you're capable. The next Anbu entrance exam is in two days. Team Kakashi is due back in four weeks. You will need to be gone by then."

Sakura nodded and stood, bowing low. She turned.

"Sakura…"

She looked back and saw the look in Tsunade's eyes. "Make me proud."

"Hai, shishou." She answered before she left the room.

…..

Sakura was still recovering from the training when she answered Tsunade's summons to her office. She appeared in a poof of smoke. The transportation jutsu still left her a bit disoriented and drained, but she was able to hide it well. The two weeks it had taken to pass her training was anything but pleasant. However, the rosette kunoichi had faced it with a firm resolve. She rose up from her crouch to stand. She bowed to Tsunade in respect.

"Hokage-sama."

"Sakura." Tsunade nodded to her and moved a scroll parchment to the desk. Sakura looked at it as Tsunade moved around the room sealing it off from any prying eyes or ears. "In order to make this legitimate, I need you to write a convincing message to Sasuke addressing the reasoning behind your desertion."

Sakura stared at it and moved forward. She had to think for a bit before a story that sounded just like her before she set to writing the message. As soon as she finished, she stepped back and placed the writing brush back into the ink-holder. "Finished."

"Good." Tsunade moved back to the desk and then looked at Sakura. "Your code name from now on will be Taoreta."

Sakura didn't comment on the irony of the name for she knew why Tsunade undoubtedly chose it. Fallen. That is what she'd become. "Is that all?"

"No. You will need to send this out on a messenger bird. Once the bird leaves the station, you are to slash your hitai-ate and leave it in the tower. From there on, the mission begins and you must leave immediately. I will be sending Anbu out on patrols in the area with the suspicion that you have been conspiring behind our backs for years to help Sasuke infiltrate Konoha and bring us down."

Sakura didn't like the way those words felt as they rushed over her. She however knew that it now or never. This was her mission. She wouldn't fail her shishou. She was beginning to feel that she truly understood the motives of the elder Uchiha brother, Itachi. She bowed and took the message with her. She left the tower in a puff of smoke. Sakura never did see the look her shishou gave her as she left. Nor did she catch the soft goodbye. She found the messenger tower; the guards in her way tried to tell her to leave. She could see all the planning her shishou had laid out for her. The first step was removing the most obstinate of objects from her pathway. If her teammates were in Konoha, they'd undoubtedly head out to stop her immediately to save her. Second step was moving her into Anbu to prepare completely for this mission. The training she'd undergone in such a short time had hardened and wizened Sakura in a mere two weeks. She'd always been a fast learner, something Tsunade had obviously banked on. The third step was this. The messenger tower. It would obviously be guarded and supervised. Tsunade had known this. Therefore, Sakura knocking them all out would be necessary to get the message off for the Anbu to intercept. In would concrete the deception. With a cold feeling in her gut, she set the mission into motion. She moved in a blur, knocking each of the guards out cold before moving into the messenger tower. She clipped the message into the bird's pouch. She sent the bird out and took her hitai-ate out and hesitated. The very thing she stood for was clenched in her hands. Only one single tear rolled down her face and dripped from below her mask onto the metal before she slashed it and dropped it to the floor. Before it hit the surface below her feet, she had transported herself to the gate top. She didn't spare a backwards glance as she launched herself into motion through the forest. If she looked now…she'd falter.

The trees blurred past her as she moved. She shut her eyes briefly, letting it sink in before she snapped them open with determination. She wouldn't fail shishou. She wouldn't fail Konoha. She wouldn't fail her team…even if this hurt them.

Sakura traveled without stopping until she was too damned exhausted to push any farther. She stood in a tree within Tea Country. She pealed her mask from her face and stared at it blankly. It would have held a great significance to her had it not been achieved for such reasons. She glared at it before she completely crumbled it within her hand and dropped the debris into the bushes below her. She recalled where Tsunade had informed her their information had speculated the whereabouts of Sasuke to be. He was supposedly within Sea Country. She would find a civilian city and acquire civilian attire to help hide herself better. With that in mind, she moved toward the nearest one. She reached it within three more hours and found what she sought. After she bought clothing, she found a public restroom to change in and crammed her Anbu uniform into the bag she bought to carry her items in discretely. Once that was accomplished, she found a hotel and settled in for the evening. She stared at the ceiling for a long while before she couldn't keep them open anymore. She rolled to her side and passed out.

Sun slanted across her eyes and she rose, showered and prepped to leave. She gathered her things and left the hotel. The next few days blurred together as she traveled, ate, slept, and continued forward. She stood on a boat heading for Sea Country with her forged passport. She leaned on the railing, watching the waves cut against the edges of the ship. She was surrounded by civilians. She breathed in deeply and flinched subtly as images of her team flashed into her head.

"Sakura-chan! Come eat with me!"

"What is the purpose to this, Ugly-chan?"

"Ho…? Is that so…?"

She fought back the emotions that dared to overtake her at the expressions she saw on each team-mates face. She felt such an emptiness without them near. Hell, she even missed Ino at this point. Just knowing she'd not be able to see them for such a long time hurt more than she'd ever imagined. That was if she got to see them again. It wasn't so much the being away from home that hurt but the fact that her friends and loved ones would believe she betrayed them. She glanced over as a man leaned on the railing next to her. He grinned at her while he looked her over in such an obvious manner that she nearly rolled her eyes.

"Are you alone, miss?" She continued looking out over the water but was watching him carefully. She followed his darted glance at the group of men a little off. She stretched her senses and noted none of them carried chakra signatures significant enough to be a shinobi. If they were shinobi, they'd done a piss-poor job of hiding themselves. In all honesty, it was probably a bit cruel to egg them on but Sakura needed a good stress release. She smiled flirtatiously at the man.

"Why…yes, I am. How'd you know?"

"No man'd leave such a pretty thing alone up here like this." He smirked, offering his arm. "Why don'tcha come with me and we go for a little walk?"

"Sure, I'd like that." She took his arm and let him lead her. The men with him followed behind at a some-what discrete distance. No. They weren't shinobi. A shinobi would have done a better job at trailing. He led her down into the cargo bay. She looked around, pretending to be confused. "Why are we coming here?"

He used his grip on her arm to throw her roughly against a few crates. She grimaced as she hit the wood. She looked up and trembled as the other men surrounded her. He laughed and moved to grab her. The moment his hand touched her thigh, she moved. She dropped to the floor, sweeping his feet out from under him. She threw the next fool over her into a crate head-first. One after another, she knocked them down. She waited for the stronger ones to get up before she used them as warm-up dummies. She didn't have to use any chakra for this, it was too easy. Once they were all unconscious and going to have quite a headache when they rose, she moved back up to the main deck. As she did, she spotted the dock in the distance.

…..

Naruto was exhausted as they made their way to the gates. He looked up and made a joyous cry as he picked up his pace. Kakashi fought the urge to roll his eye at the blonde's exuberance. The younger man pumped his fist skyward.

"Yoshi! Almost home!"

"Oh, for kami's sake…would you just put a sock in it!" Ino snapped. Kakashi could honestly say that he truly missed Sakura. Not that he'd ever not missed her, but this mission had proved just how much her absence affected them all. Ino was a decent medic, but no one could replace their own. Ino and Naruto had been at this angry back and forth the entire mission.

"Now, now…" He started, trying to keep the inevitable from going down.

"See! See! This is why I said we should've protested Sakura-chan not coming with us! Ino's such a mean, angry, bitter witch!" Naruto complained loudly. Ino yelled in rage before lunging at him.

"I'll show you witch, moron!"

Sai sighed and actually looked strained as well as the two blondes went at it again, nearly harming each other with kunai and punches. Kakashi groaned and flicked his gaze to the sky above as if to ask for guidance. He then proceeded to move into the fray and separate them forcefully.

"Enough." His patience was already frayed beyond reconcile as it was. He motioned to the gates. "We have a report to deliver. Let's go."

Sai nodded and followed gratefully. They stepped inside the gates and each let out a sigh of relief.

"Ramen…" Naruto smiled whimsically.

"Sleep…" Ino closed her eyes thinking about the bliss of her bed.

"Silence." Sai said with barely any enthusiasm.

Kakashi smiled with his famous eye-crease.

"Ah! Kakashi…" Kotetsu darted his gaze nervously to the silver-haired jounin. "Hokage-sama said that the moment you arrived you are all to go directly to her office."

"Eh!?" Ino and Naruto both protested, throwing a glare at the other.

"But we just got back!" Naruto whined.

"Can't it wait for at least two hours?!" Ino griped.

Izumo moved up closer with caution. "It's about Sakura."

Silence immediately settled over them before they collectively set out for the Hokage's tower. It took a mere few minutes before they were there before the doors and knocking. Tsunade barked at them to enter. They obeyed as they all lined up before her desk. Well, each but Naruto. Naruto's hands slammed onto the Hokage's desk.

"What's wrong?! Where's Sakura-chan?! Is she okay?!"

Tsunade blinked before she sighed in irritation. "I figured they wouldn't keep quiet well…"

"Is she all right, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked, feeling dread coating each nerve ending he had.

Tsunade's face fell as she rose from her desk and turned to walk to the windows overlooking the village. She knit her fingers behind her back. "Haruno Sakura…has deserted the village."

A pin drop would have sounded like a bomb in the seconds that followed.

"What?! Sakura-chan wouldn't do that! What is this?! Some sick joke! It isn't funny, ya know!" Naruto burst first as Tsunade knew he would. She turned and tossed a scroll and hitai-ate onto the desk's surface.

"Read the message."

Naruto stared at the red hitai-ate that he knew all too well. His hands shook as he reached for the hitai-ate. Kakashi snatched the scroll quickly and opened it up. His eyes scanned the words and he felt his own hands tremble slightly.

"How long ago?" Kakashi raised his eye to stare at the blonde woman before them.

"A week and a half ago."

"I-I…I don't believe this. Sakura-chan…Sakura-chan wouldn't just desert without a reason!"

"She's been in contact with Uchiha Sasuke for the last four years, Naruto. She knocked out the messenger station and sent this off. Anbu operatives came across not only the message, but the hitai-ate as well. This is just as hard for me to believe as it is for you…" Tsunade sighed and moved to lean back against the wooden window frame behind her. "I thought it odd when she begged to join the Anbu as soon as you left. Apparently…she's been bitterly angry and hurt for so long and hid it well."

"W—" Kakashi handed the scroll to Naruto before he turned away and headed for the door. Naruto blinked and read the words scrawled in handwriting that he recognized well. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Sh-she…she felt this way about us for this long?"

"Kakashi. Where are you going?"

Kakashi paused at the door and refused to look at his kage. "With all due respect, Hokage-sama…I need time to think and process." She sighed and nodded.

"Report back to me in twenty four hours. Understood?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama." He replied before stepping out.

Naruto shook his head, blinking back tears. "I won't believe it till I ask her myself!"

"Naruto, even if you could find her, she's now considered a missing nin. A criminal. A deserter. It pains me to say this…but Haruno Sakura is a traitor to Konoha now. Like Sasuke…"

Naruto clenched his jaw and shook as he held the hitai-ate in hand. "Why…? Why didn't she just tell us?!"

The scroll and hitai-ate were suddenly thrown back onto the desk with force as the blonde nin fled through the window. Tsunade sighed heavily, trying to ignore the tear drops on the scroll and hitai-ate's fabric.

Ino bit her lip, trying to hold back from crying herself. "What else is needed from us, Hokage-sama?"

"For now, go home and rest. Dismissed."

Sai and Ino both left the office of the Hokage. Tsunade moved and sank into her chair, burying her face in her hands. "Oh how I wish I had another choice, Naruto…"

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Things are a bit rough and tough for our characters right now. Hope you stay tuned for the bumpy ride! Let me know what you think.

Erika Hearken