A/N- So this is a blot bunny that has been nagging me for a while. It's also my first multi chap story, so fingers crossed. All chaps are outlined, just need to fill in the blanks. Thank you to my Beta and my pre-reader...you are both amazing.
Disclaimer - all things Twilight belong to SM, the plot is mine. All other reconizable people, places and events belong to their respective owners and no copyright infringment is intended.
"It's almost time." The young man in the hall informs me, as I adjust my tie for what feels like the fiftieth time in ten minutes.
"Sure, just a second." As I straighten my jacket and the white lily on my lapel, i take one last final cleansing breath. Satisfied with how I look, I turn on my heel and make my way down the hall.
Standing in the doorway, I am dumbstruck. She is beautiful, an absolute vision, an angel in white. The woman before me has rendered me speechless constantly since the day I met her, and today is no different. As she slowly turns, there is an awed hush, the slight rustle of the dress the only discernable sound in the quiet room.
"You look amazing. I'm going to take my seat now. Is there anything else you need before I go?" My sister asks as she embraces my angel.
"No, thank you, I think I'm ready now." Turning to face me then, "Besides, I now have this handsome man by my side to help." She blushes, while winking at me.
As the ball of energy exits the room, she pauses to kiss me briefly on the cheek, "Good luck, and for God's sake, don't let her fall!" she whispers in my ear, making us both chuckle.
"I won't, now go take your seat so we can get this show on the road." I tell her as I give her a brief hug before she leaves. Returning my gaze to my angel, I can't help the smile that crosses my face. And not the cheesy, lopsided smile I usually wear. No, this one is so wide; my face feels as though it hasn't stretched that far in years. Truth be told, it hasn't, but I don't want to hold anything back from my Angel today. She deserves this, she deserves to be happy and God help anyone that tries to stand in the way of that happening.
My focus shifts from my sister to my angel as I step toward her. "You look...absolutely stunning, Angel. When did you get to be so grown up? Looking at you makes me feel twice the age I am."
"Oh, stop. You are barely twenty-one in my eyes." she playfully scolds.
"If she could see you..."
"Stop! I don't want to talk about her. She's with us in her own way, so...please." She whispers, blotting unshed tears from her eyes. "Are you ready? I don't want to be late." She says with a slight sniffle.
Wiping my own tears from my eyes, I nod. "Today, you're allowed to be late, it's tradition."
"Not this time, today the bride arrives on time. And, seeing as we're already at the church, we really don't have a legitimate excuse, now do we?" She chuckles.
When she puts it that way, she really does have a point. Placing her tiny hand around my arm, I lead her towards her 'ever after'.
~%~
Standing before the closed ornate timber doors, I squeeze her hand gently. "Are you ready? This is your last chance to change your mind, you know?"
"I'm ready -" she whispers "- this is my future, this is where I want to be." She looks up at me, positively glowing, and I know what she has said is true.
As the opening notes to a familiar tune ring throughout the church, I feel my chest tighten. This is our song. My angel could not have known this, although it is almost poetic that she has chosen this song, for this occasion. Then, the voice of an angel - not unlike the one standing next to me - begins to caress the words with her sweet velvet voice. Turning to the beauty beside me, I raise my eyebrow in question. She nods at me, understanding our silent exchange.
"It's a CD. It arrived by courier last night. I'm not sure who it is from but, as soon as I heard this song, I fell in love. I couldn't think of a song more fitting for the occasion. Have you listened to the lyrics?" She asks me, not realizing that i had, in fact, heard this song many, many years ago.
As the heavy doors are pulled open and the guests stand, I suddenly recognize the voice singing, and know, without a doubt, where this disc came from. The second verse begins as I lead my Angel down the aisle towards the man she has chosen to spend the rest of her life with.
It's been a long night
Trying to find my way
Been through the darkness
Now I finally have my day
I will see my dream come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna change my mind
Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
Faith of the heart
We reach the end of the aisle - and her groom - as the song draws to a close. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I turn to her, lifting the veil and placing a gentle kiss on her cheek. "I love you, remember that." Then, turning to her soon-to-be husband, I shake his hand tightly and whisper "I loved her first, you remember that!"
I take my seat with a sigh, like the old man that I am. The priest begins the service in a generic monotone voice, allowing me time to think. This is not a full nuptial service, so I have about half an hour before the 'Kiss the Bride' part. The words of the song, still ringing in my ears, my thoughts drift to another time and place. To the events leading up to another angel, lighting the way through the pain I was feeling at the time.
~%~
Twenty-two years ago...
"I think you need to call it a night, man. You've had more than enough to pickle your liver tonight." The bartender stated, effectively cutting me off for the night.
"Yeah, maybe you're right." I grumbled to myself, as I got off the stool and stumbled my way towards the door. "Night, Mike."
"Night, take it easy getting home, do you need me to call you a cab?" He asked.
"Nah, I'm good." I tried my hardest to concentrate on walking in a straight line, as I made my way through the doors. The street outside was quiet as I staggered home. I couldn't fathom what day of the week it was, due mostly, to my almost constant intoxication over the last few weeks. Ever since that damn letter arrived, I think that was on a Tuesday, but I can't be sure of anything right now. That one small piece of paper had crushed my world. My hopes, my dreams and all my future plans were all tied up in the arrival of that one single letter. Despite the brain cells I have killed recently I can still clearly recall exactly what that letter said...
Chicago Medical School
May, 1998
Dear Applicant:
The CMS (Finch University of the Health Sciences / The Chicago Medical School) Student Admissions Committee has carefully evaluated your application and regrets that it cannot offer you a place in our entering class. Our applicant pool number was over 10,000 this year. I trust that you appreciate the difficulty in selecting only a fraction of the many qualified applicants.
Best wishes in your future efforts to become part of the medical health care team.
Sincerely,
~%~
Present Day
"Hey, -" my sister pokes me in the ribs, causing me to jump slightly. "This is your part." She whisper yells at me, nodding her head toward the front of the church. As I look up, my Angel, her fiancée and the Priest, are all looking at me expectantly, although, I'm drawing a blank as to why.
After noticing my bewildered look, the Priest clears his throat, and repeats his question. "Who gives this woman, to this man in holy matrimony today?"
Oh, right...this is my part. I stand, coughing slightly to clear the lump that has formed in my throat and answer. "I do, Father."
"Well, thank you for joining us." he smirks, causing the crowd to chuckle quietly.
As I take my seat once again, my sister glances up at me indulgently. She knows this is hard for me, in more ways than one, and if it wasn't for her, I would be a complete mess. Instead of drifting back to the past, I decide that I really need to keep my thoughts in the present. This is her day, and I will not bring those around me down, too.
I listen with feigned enthusiasm to the rest of the service, wishing like hell that my own wedding had gone down a similar path. After the vows, the Priest blesses the rings and I hear my sisters' quiet sniffles, handing her my handkerchief, I place my arm around her shoulder for comfort. She snuggles closer to me, and I take as much comfort for myself as I am giving to her.
"You may now kiss the Bride." The Priest declares, and the crowd erupts into applause. Just like the charmer he is, the groom dips my angel to kiss her, they way they do in old movies. This brings a genuine smile to my face, as I remember my angel - as a little girl watching old movies with me - stating 'If a boy kisses you like that, it must be love.' It seems, she really has found her happily ever after and I couldn't be prouder than I am right now.
The new Mr. and Mrs. Eli Black make their way back down the aisle amidst a flurry of hugs, kisses, congratulations and the sound of church bells ringing in the air, I am surrounded by my family. To my left, my sister and her husband, to my right, my brother and his wife. The girls are gushing over how beautiful the wedding was and which guests would make the 'what not to wear' list; Typical.
"So, where to now?" My brother asks. "There is an hour to kill before the reception and I know a really good bar conveniently located around the corner."
"Sounds good." I mumble, distractedly checking my pocket for my keys and phone.
"Lighten up, man. She's not really gone, she just got married, and that's all." My brother in-law states, as though all is right in the world. For a brief second, I almost believe him. Thank god this day is almost done; just a few short hours and I can be alone, with my thoughts and a nice tall bottle of scotch.
Collectively we decide that we will walk to the bar, as it and the reception venue are all with a block of each other. This suits me perfectly, as it will give me a chance to clear my head a little and shake my sudden somber mood. My mood is justifiable though, my angel did just marry a Black after all. I have nothing against Eli, just his family - well, more his Uncle Jake to be precise. That man has gone out of his way to push my buttons since I met him. You'd think that after twenty something years, he would have found something new to occupy his time.
Brooding has helped to pass the time effectively, and we are standing just outside the bar my brother suggested. Huh, how ironic, I think to myself as I stare at the sign above the door. The simple sign above the door reads: Old Bells. I've been here before. Or is it just that all bars seem to blend into one another after a while? At this point, I really don't care, as long as they serve scotch - I'll be fine.
Over the next half hour, we reminisce over the times we have shared together. Namely, our 'holiday' to Australia. It wasn't so much of a holiday - more of a time out of sorts and we never really left. I was off the rails due to my unexpected rejection from medical school, for three weeks my life was spent drunk or hung over. There was no in-between. In an effort to help me sort myself out, our parents suggested we join them in Australia for a holiday. As recent retirees, my parent had taken to the grey nomad lifestyle like ducks to water. At the time, I had no clue as to what a grey nomad was, but, we soon found out that it suited them perfectly.
"Hey, broods-a-lot, you ready to go?" My sister in-law inquires, jolting me back to my surroundings. I guess I'll have to wait to explore my memories more fully and without interruptions.
"Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go celebrate." I down the last of my drink and we make our way back down the street to the reception.
~%~
As we enter the ballroom, I find myself amongst family, friends, acquaintances and a few plus ones, who I've never seen before. We are shown to our table as the server informs us that the bride and groom will be arriving shortly. At this, I breathe a sigh of relief, I really don't like being in crowded rooms full of people anymore. Content, instead, in my own company or those closest to me. Taking the champagne glass in front of me, I sip slowly as my eyes scan the room. My sister, once again, has outdone herself. For an event coordinator with no formal training, she can work an ordinary space into a dream come true, and thus, is in high demand. Upon receiving a call from my Angel, six months ago, she cleared her schedule completely and has moved heaven and earth to pull this gig together. And what an amazing job she's done, even I'm left speechless.
My musings are interrupted by the Master of Ceremonies as he begins to introduce the bridal party, one couple at a time. Pausing briefly - for what I assume is dramatic effect - he finally comes to the reason we are all here.
"Ladies and Gentleman, will you please raise your glasses. I would like to introduce to you, the new and improved Mr. and Mrs. Black."
As the guests erupt into cheers and applause catcalls and whistles, I realize that the MC must be a friend to take such liberties with the introductions.
"Okay, so, the happy couple has a plane to catch tonight, so we'll be getting all the official stuff outta the way real quick." Real classy, I think to myself.
My Angel and her new husband, stand to cut the cake while the DJ is playing soft music in the background. Everyone gathers around to take pictures of the happy couple as they feed each other small bites of cake. As they place the cake knife on the table, the music changes and the volume goes up. I stand proudly on the sidelines of the dance floor and watch as my Angel shares the first dance with her husband.
The notes gently float across the room and they begin to dance, I smile. There will be no traditional waltz for my girl, no. Although the song they have chosen is old by their standards, it is by no means a simple shuffle around the floor.
You can dance-every dance with the guy
Who gives you the eye, let him hold you tight
You can smile-every smile for the man
Who held your hand 'neath the pale moon light
But don't forget who's takin' you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darlin' save the last dance for me
They gracefully glide around the dance floor without missing a step or a beat. These two trust each other, and it shows. At least my Angel got her equilibrium from me. While I am mutely watching them dance, I barely register that the song has come to an end and the dance floor has cleared. I glance up, instantly meeting the chocolate pools of my Angel as she approaches.
"May I have this next dance, Sir?" she asks almost shyly. As if I could deny her anything.
Taking her hand in mine, I lead her back the center of the floor. Not sure why she wants to dance with me instead of anyone else, I soon realize...
There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes
And I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her hair;
"Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I've done wrong I know I must have done something right
to deserve a hug every morning
and butterfly kisses at night.
As I lead her around, the rest of the room fading into the background, I know, without a doubt, what she has done. This is her way of telling me, everything is going to be okay, without actually saying goodbye. This is not an ending, this is her beginning. I start to sing the last few lines to her...
I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.
She reaches up and places her small hand on my cheek, wiping my tears with her thumb.
"I love you Daddy, always. Have faith in me...I love you." She whispers, then throwing her arms around my neck, as we both cry silently. "One more dance before I have to leave?" she asks, after taking a deep breath and a new song begins.
"Sure, Angel." I nod. At this point we are no more dancing than we are swaying; both of us too overcome with emotion to actually move. As the last verse starts, I know my time with her is almost over. As if hearing my thoughts, Eli approaches cautiously.
"May I cut in, Sir?" He asks, unsure of his own question. Stepping aside to allow them to finish the dance, I pat him on the back, kiss my Angel on the cheek and excuse myself from the festivities.
As I push through the doors, leading back onto the street, I hear the words that cause my heart to seemingly break and heal at the same time.
Someday you might know what I'm going through
When a miracle smiles up at you
I loved her first
A/N 2.0 - hey, hope you liked it, even if you didn't please leave me a review. thanks.
xoxo
Littlevic