Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl. If I did Chuck would have knocked up Blair and they would have been raising a baby right now instead of her being with Nate.

Author's Note: This is actually a really late birthday present for my US. It's about three months late, but better late than never right? Also this is the first ever thing I've ever written in second person so go easy.

For Her

You met her when you were six. You brought her a daisy. When she turned her nose up at it you ripped her ribbon from her hair and stomped it into the ground. You had never been refused anything before and you did not like that it had been her to do it. You vowed to never again let a girl hurt you.

You became best friends with Nathaniel Archibald a week later and that little girl kept following you around. You thought that maybe she'd come to her senses and realized what a catch you were, but really she was just after your best friend. You hated yourself for hoping and you learned to squash hope every time it bubbled in your chest. Hope was for boys like Nathaniel who got everything you wanted.

When you were eight you decided that you would make her jealous by going through every girl in the second grade. It seemed like it would work for about two point five seconds. But she was still stuck to Nathaniel. You told yourself it was no loss and you moved on. There were other fish in the sea and you were quite happy to accommodate them.

By thirteen you had lost your virginity to Georgina Sparks during a game of truth or dare. You were suddenly the big man on campus, the ultimate ladies man. Your confidence could not be deterred. You went through six other conquests that year and you could have sworn that you saw that little flicker of jealousy in her eyes every time.

On Blair's fourteenth birthday Nate gave her that damn ruby ring. You were convinced that your diamond choker was much classier, but she only wore it twice that year. You remember because you counted. She never took off that ring though. And you told yourself that you didn't care. That was the first night you smoked a cigarette and you still swear up and down that it wasn't because of her.

When you were seventeen you fucked in the back of a limo and you'd never been more satisfied. It didn't even stop there. You had many a good time with one Miss Blair Waldorf and, though Nathaniel was your best friend, it was too good to stop. You finally were getting what you wanted…even if you were her dirty little secret.

You would tell her later that year, as stoically as you could manage, that you no longer wanted her. You thought it would be the hardest thing you'd ever have to do, but you did it. You convinced yourself you didn't need her and fucked two girls that night. You never let yourself remember that you fucked the ones that looked just like her.

When your father married Lily you won her back. Well…that was until your father made that one comment. You left her at a helipad and fucked a nice blonde designer. You would not be tamed. You would screw her out of your system and you would enjoy doing it. You never stopped thinking about her.

You waited for her the day she came back. You had your heart in your hand and she smashed it. You could have had her back. She would have stayed with you had you said those three little words, but you couldn't and she left with someone else. You had vowed to never let a girl hurt you, but this one brought tears to your eyes. You would get high later and convince yourself that the tears were a figment of your imagination.

You plotted the demise of her relationship by trying to consume her by her more carnal needs. If the Lord hadn't caught you in the middle of everything you probably would have had her. You were convinced if you could have her just once more you'd be cured of her. In time you would realize that Blair was not your sickness, she was your disease, and your disease had no cure.

When she finally came to you, you wouldn't have her. It was her turn to prove what she felt. You had chased after her for so long. You had never chased a girl like that before, never wanted anything so much. But Basses did not degrade themselves by chasing after little girls in headbands that enjoyed playing games far too much. You were not the elk in this scenario. You were the tiger and you were going to devour her, but she was going to play your game this time. This time you would not get hurt.

Then your father died and you just stopped. Everything and anything that you had been doing just failed by the wayside and you were ready to destroy. And destroy you did. You destroyed everything that had ever meant anything to you and you had ifun/i doing it. You never cared just how much you were hurting her, and like so many things before, you burnt the bridge you needed the most. She told you she loved you and you just destroyed every ounce of tolerance she'd ever had.

You tried to move on. There were other girls, other things that consumed your time, but you never forgot her. And when you were finally ready to jump back in again, finally ready to say those three words that meant so much, she had changed. She was not the girl that you loved. She was New Blair. And New Blair wanted Nate and hated you. You couldn't help but think you got your just deserts. After all what goes around comes around and karma kicked your ass.

You fought for her for a long time, but eventually you just let it go. You watched as her and Nathaniel got quite serious. You watched as they both graduated from college. You watched as he proposed to her at your graduation dinner. You remembered when you had been the key player in her life, but that was no more. She had moved on.

When Nate asked you to be the best man you agreed. You convinced yourself you were over her. You were a playboy. Blair was a phase. You convinced yourself that it was a good thing that you never settled down. You wouldn't have liked it. You would have grown tired of her.

You gave the speech of a lifetime at the rehearsal dinner and slept with one of the bridesmaids in your hotel room. It didn't matter that it wasn't very good or that you kicked her out promptly after it was finished. You swore up and down that your performance had nothing to do with Blair. But as you went to sleep that night you knew that it did.

You look at her standing at the altar and your heart drops. You don't know how exactly you ended up here, as the best man, but there's really nothing you can do about it. You hear your best friend say 'i do' and you want to punch him or quite possibly try to get him put on a national list of pedophiles like you did your Uncle Jack. You want to destroy him because Blair would never stay with someone with a ruined social standing. Her image was always very important and you're pretty sure that still applies.

And you never wanted to settle down. It was too mundane and too common for you. You said you were meant to be a playboy and you've broken every girl's heart that came your way. But as you watch her say 'i do' and kiss his lips you realize that you could' ve fallen in love and that you did. You said you'd never settle down, but for her you would've. For her you would have changed