Planet Earth. It's been 5 years or so since Goku killed Kid Buu.
Ever since, the planet is a peaceful place where everybody
enjoys their life carefreely. And it shall remain such forever.
Nah, just kidding...
A new threat that will make all previous adventures of our
heroes seem like a walk in the park is about to present itself.
To understand the nature of this threat, let's travel a number
of light years away.
Right now, in outer space, two figures are hovering in the
vacuum, gazing at an unspecified planet. One of them is a
purple, anthropomorphic cat that looks like an egyptian god.
He is wearing blue, puffy pants and his upper body is naked.
The other one has blue skin and white, long hair in a crazy
hairstyle. He is wearing a crimson, one piece dress and a
black vest.
'So, this is the planet you intend to destroy, Lord Beerus?' the
blue skinned man asks the cat.
'Yes, Whiss,' Beerus answers. And, after a pause, he adds in
annoyance: 'Or should I call you Catherine Obvious?'
'Actually, it's Captain Obvious,' Whiss corrects his master and
chuckles in a gayish fashion.
'What?' Beerus widens his eyes. 'Are you sure it's not Catherine?
I have thought it's Catherine for centuries.'
'Well, you have been deluded for centuries, as it seems, my
lord,' Whiss giggles again.
Beerus snorts, rolls his eyes and proceeds to the destruction
of the planet. As he fires, from thousands of miles away, a
blast that turns the celestial body into cosmic dust in seconds,
Whiss, not really caring about billions of lives being lost before
his eyes, turns his head elsewhere and, in a 4th wall breaking
moment, says, 'Can you find what series the Catherine Obvious
joke was from?'
Then, he turns back to Beerus and asks, 'I don't understand
why you have to destroy planets from far away. We can pay
them a visit first so that I can enjoy some potentially interesting,
intergalactic cuisine.'
'We have been through this discussion, Whiss,' Beerus snorts
again. 'I prefer not descending to the mortal realm for no serious
reason. The less they see me, the higher regard they hold me in.'
'I don't think anyone holds you in high regard anymore, my lord,'
Whiss politely argues. 'I don't think anyone even remembers
you exist anymore. It's been so many millenia since you last
showed yourself that even Kais must have forgotten about
you by now.'
'Shut up. Let's return to our planet,' Beerus casually says and
the two deities vanish.
Planet Earth. The heroes we know so well from the long lived
DBZ series almost all are excited these days about the
upcoming big event: Gohan's and Videl's wedding.
And, of course, Chichi is the most excited of all. She has
wanted a grandchild for so long. She wouldn't even mind if it
was an out of wedlock child.
Right now, at the Sons' house, we can see Chichi groping
Gohan here and there. Her eldest son is standing in front
of a mirror, dressed in a typical groom outfit, blushed in
embarrassment about his mother touching him while she's
trying to make sure that every little detail about his
appearance is ok. She wants her son to look perfect on
this day.
'I'm so proud of you, honey,' she says, trying to hold back
her tears. 'It seems like yesterday that you were born. I
hope you and your future wife bless me with lots of
grandchildren soon.'
'Mom, we've been through this,' Gohan sighs. 'Neither
Videl nor I want any children yet. We plan to focus on our
careers for the time being.'
'Okay, okay, I respect that,' Chichi replies, even though her
laugh seems suspicious.
'Mom, may I stay alone with my brother for a while?' Goten,
the youngest son asks. 'I want to chat with my unmarried
brother for one last time. You know... in a few hours, he won't
be unmarried anymore...'
'Okay, whatever,' Chichi laughs in felicity and leaves the room.
Goten drops his body on the bed and looks at his brother. 'So,
how do I look?' Gohan asks, rotating around himself.
'May I ask you something, bro?' Goten ignores the question.
'Sure.'
'Now that you and Videl will get married, will you have...
sex?'
Gohan blushes and strokes the back of his head, laughing
awkwardly. 'Err... I guess,' he answers.
'This ain't fair,' Goten snorts in a cute fashion. 'I want to
have sex too.'
Next, his eyes bulge in the realization that what he just
said might be misunderstood. 'Err... not with Videl of
course, just with some random woman,' he tries a save.
Gohan laughs. 'Someday, you will find a girl you love and
you will live with her a romantic story like Videl and I. And,
then, you will have the most amazing sex that one can
have.'
'But I'm almost 13,' Goten protests. 'My teenage urges
have started taking over. I want to screw a woman NOW.
What if it's years till I fall in love?'
Gohan laughs again and kisses his brother's hair. 'Just
don't think about it,' he says. 'Focus on something else, such
as school or training, and love will come before you know it.'
'Thanks, bro. You helped me,' Goten lies (not sarcasm, he lies
just for the sake of politeness).
A few minutes later, his cellphone rings. It's Trunks. 'Hey, Goten.
Are you looking forward to Gohan's wedding?'
'I guess,' Goten sighs.
'What's wrong?' Trunks asks.
Goten tells him about his 'problem'. Trunks admits that he has
the same problem too. Being one year older than Goten, it's
only natural that he wants to get laid as well.
Finally, the older and more mischievous Trunks has an idea:
'How about we go to a brothel?'
'Now?' a surprised Goten asks.
'Why not?'
'The wedding ceremony will begin in less than one hour.'
'Let's not go to the boring wedding ceremony. We'll join
our friends and families at the post wedding party later.'
A smile is formed on Goten's lips. But... wait a minute.
'I don't have any money,' Goten remembers.
'Leave this to me,' Trunks comforts him.
Beerus and Whiss have returned to their planet, to their
palace. Right now, Beerus is sitting and lazily watching the
fishes swimming in the aquarium while Whiss is watching tv
at his crystal ball.
'So, is there anything else interesting in my schedule for
today?' the cat formed god asks, yawning.
'Well,' the angel starts noncchalantly, 'since you mentioned
it, today is the day the next Super Saiyan God is supposed
to appear, according to the prophecy the orcale fish made
long ago.'
'WHAT?' Beerus abruptly stands up, with his eyes bulged
in a gag fashion. 'Why didn't you remind me earlier?'
'You didn't ask,' Whiss shrugs and smiles stoically.
Beerus facepalms. 'Quit watching stupid cartoons and show
me who the most likely candidate is,' he says. 'If I'm not
mistaken, not many Saiyans are left alive since Freeza
destroyed their planet.'
The image in the crystal ball changes. Goku, as he was
when he first transformed into a Super Saiyan, is shown.
'Oh, I remember him,' Beerus comments. 'It's that Goku
guy who defeated Freeza about 15 years ago. He seems
a fun guy. Not that I will spare him or his planet if it comes
to that of course.'
'So, do you want us to go and meet him, sir?' Whiss asks
indifferently.
'Now!' Beerus impatiently snaps. He places his arm on the
angel's shoulder. Whiss soars at inconceivable speed, along
with his master.
Vegeta is training in the gravity room. With his upper body
naked, Vegeta is punching thin air. Sweat is dropping off
several parts of his body.
Trunks opens the door and enters. Shrugging off the gravity,
which would mean death for his mother or grandparents, the
14 year old boy greets his father: 'Hey, dad. Can you give me
some money? I want to go to a brothel to lose my virginity.'
'Go and take some from your mom,' Vegeta answers, remaining
focused on his training, as if Trunks said to him something totally
trivial!
As the boy leaves the room, Vegeta contemplates: 'I have to
surpass Kakarrot. Who knows what kind of training he's doing
right now.'
Goku is training on King Kai's planet, with the short deity lazily
watching him. Suddenly, Beerus and Whiss appear, seemingly
out of nowhere.
'Huh? Who are these weirdos? Do you know them, King Kai?'
the Saiyan innocently asks.
'No,' King Kai answers with a troubled expression, correcting
his black glasses in order to see the newcomers better. 'But I
have a bad feeling...'