Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. They sadly belong to OUAT... I'm just borrowing them for a little while.
A/N: Loosely based off of Taylor Swift's song "Style".
STYLE
Sitting alone in the dark it was hard not to let my thoughts run rampant. Henry's with Emma and this house feels bigger and emptier every day. Letting Robin Hood go wasn't quite as hard as I had told myself it was going to be. Somehow I had imagined tears. A much more emotional parting. But standing there watching him walk away it felt as if a weight had been lifted from my chest. My head was telling me I should be crying. But my heart...my heart didn't seem to have near as much trouble saying goodbye. There were so many reasons why he was never a good idea. Some of which I have no trouble admitting to. Least of which being the fact that he was married. But even in this tiny little town I created or the world we came from, even I know that sometimes marriages just don't work out. People fall in and out of love no matter what realm you're in, regardless of what Disney and other fairytales would have people believe.
No. That wasn't the number one reason. Honestly, sitting here alone in the dark, I've quickly come to the realization that someone fed me a story and I took it in like a five year old. Blindly believing that True Love was all black and white. When I ran away from that tavern so long ago I changed the course of the future. Finding that missing picture from Henry's storybook only proved that life has many options. Robin Hood was an option. Not my True Love. I'll pretend I knew what I was doing. But no one will ever know the truth. At the moment it feels kind of like I temporarily lost my mind. I suppose what's done is done. He's gone now and that's all that matters.
Then there's Emma. Emma with her big, infectious, ridiculous smile waltzing into Granny's tonight like she owned the place when all I wanted was to be left alone. Though if I'm honest with myself, if I'd wanted to truly be left alone I would have holed myself up in my own home instead of a public diner staring blankly at the wall. No. Emma and her hideous 'Charming' genes somehow managed to find me. She's left me alone for weeks unless she had Elsa or someone else tagging along. But not tonight. Tonight she wanted to do shots. Drinking buddies? Really? I suppose our tumultuous relationship started out with a goofy grin, hello and a drink. Why not continue the tradition. But back then I was angrier. More defensive. A routine I have long since grown tired of. It just takes too much energy to carry on as if I hate everyone around me. The truth of the matter is that somehow one by one they've all begun to worm their way into my life as if we're one big happy family. The thought was enough to make me gag.
Emma wanted to do shots. So I agreed. What else was there left to lose? Besides my dignity. But then Henry had shown up. He was supposed to be with his grandparents but somehow the Charming idiots had managed to leave him behind to play around in the big empty house of magic. I'll have to talk with them about that tomorrow. I still can't believe I was about to do shots with Emma. Sitting at the counter at Granny's. We hadn't even bothered to go to that poor excuse for a bar, The Rabbit Hole. Or my house. Or Emma's for that matter. Granny's. I suppose it's a good thing Henry interrupted us. The mood I was in, there's no telling how poorly that situation could have gone.
. . .
Regina was interrupted from her thoughts when her phone buzzed. It was the middle of the night and she had no idea who could possibly be contacting her so she picked up the phone. A message notification was flashing on the screen. It was Emma. Regina squeezed her eyes shut wondering briefly what the Savior could possibly want at twelve a.m. Against her better judgment she touched the window and the message popped up.
"Are you awake? I really hope you're awake because if you aren't and this wakes you up you're probably going to kill me."
Regina let out a heavy sigh and quickly typed out a response. "Yes. Ms. Swan. I am wide awake. What could you possibly need at this hour?"
"Oh good. I couldn't sleep either. Look out your window."
The response came through faster than Regina thought humanely possible, but it was Emma she was talking to. The quick response was no surprise. Regina couldn't help but imagine the Sheriff probably spent half her day playing around on her phone but since she was no longer the Mayor she couldn't bring herself to care. Reluctantly Regina stood and moved to the front window in her study. She found herself exhaling deeply when she saw Emma rolling to a stop in front of her house with her headlights off. She watched as Emma exited the car and crossed to the passenger side with her phone much too close to her face. A second later Regina's phone was vibrating in her hand again.
"I know it's going to be hard, but just resist the urge to ask questions. Let's go for a drive."
Regina resisted the urge to roll her eyes, wondering what in the hell kind of plan Emma could possibly have running through her mind. If she was honest with herself it wasn't as if she had anything better to do in the middle of a sleepless night.
"If you insist." Regina finally answered.
She let the curtain fall back into place and moved to the foyer. Coat in hand, Regina opened the front door, making sure it was locked behind her and slowly made her way towards Emma's horrendous yellow Bug. Regina made sure to appear as if she was entirely reluctant to go along with Emma's plan. She couldn't have Emma thinking that just because she was in on Operation Mongoose that they were suddenly best friends. Though Regina couldn't help but wonder what was going through Emma's mind as she approached her slowly. The Savior had to know that whatever she had in mind was only going to go one of two ways and with their track record Regina was leaning heavily on the 'this will end poorly' side of things.
Both women are quiet as Regina reaches the car. Emma is propped casually against the passenger door and Regina briefly feels her stomach jump into her throat. What was she doing? She swallowed the lump in her throat. How long had it been since Emma had cornered her and tried to get her alone for some reason or another? Regina momentarily considers telling Emma that she should just leave. But somehow the words refused to form on her lips. They both knew that every time they're together it ends in disagreement or tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. Yet here they were once again attempting to be friends. It was almost like watching the same train wreck happen over and over. The end result always made them cringe, but watching it happen left them feeling exhilarated even though they knew it was about to crash and burn.
Wasn't that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results each time. Regina was insane. That's all there was to it. After 28 years' worth of groundhog days, she'd finally lost her mind. Without hesitation Regina immediately blamed Emma. Emma and that look she always had on her face. That hopeful "Charming" family positivity that was enough to make even a good fairy sick. Regina snaps out of her thoughts when she's hears Emma speaking.
"You didn't have to get all dressed up and stuff. It's just me. I mean, no one else is going to see us." She says, giving Regina a thorough once-over. "But the red lipstick is always a nice touch. It's always been my favorite on you."
Emma couldn't believe that she'd just said that out loud and Regina was suddenly wondering if Emma was drunk. Emma had just complimented her. Out loud. Clearly she must have been drinking and the look on Regina's face expressed her thought process without even speaking up. After a moment she shakes off the comment as Emma moves to break up the awkward moment by pulling open the passenger door and gesturing for Regina to get in the car.
"I didn't, by the way." Regina paused before she sat in the passenger seat and looked at Emma who was standing far too close for her comfort. "This is what I was wearing earlier when you found me at Granny's, though you clearly didn't notice."
This night was definitely going to end poorly, Regina told herself as she left Emma standing with a stunned look on her face. But hey, they'd be right back to "Go" in the morning, regardless. Emma had noticed what Regina was wearing at Granny's. She even remembered thinking the purple sweater was a good color on Regina. But it was too late and just as pointless to tell Regina she'd only meant that she had assumed Regina had taken the time to get dressed from her night clothes. Even Emma knew that if the thought process required to tell her that was confusing, then saying it aloud would have an even worse result. Emma closes the door once Regina is settled and finds herself silently praying that this night doesn't go to hell. She was only going to get so many chances to bond with Regina before her chances finally ran out.
When Emma gets into the car, Regina glances over and quickly takes note of Emma's outfit. She's wearing a white tank with that threadbare see-through sweater and her red leather jacket with a pair of jeans that were tighter than they had any right to be and brown boots. Even in the dark, Regina can see well enough to remember this outfit from the first night they'd met. She looks down and takes in her own purple sweater and skin tight black skirt. Regina took a deep breath and prayed it didn't end the way she was terrified it would.
"What is the meaning of this drive Ms. Swan?"
"It's Emma, Regina." Emma gently reminds her, trying her best not to sigh or be frustrated. One day, Emma vowed Regina would stop calling her Ms. Swan. "I'm just...Emma."
Regina rolled her eyes in the dark. They still had yet to leave the front of her house. "What is the meaning of this drive- Emma?"
"Well, I thought I'd take you to this place I know since we never got to do those shots earlier." Emma glanced over at the woman sitting in her passenger seat and smiled as she turned the key in the ignition. It only took a second for the old engine to turn over. "This day requires alcohol and I'll be damned if it ends without shots."
Regina smiled to herself as Emma pulled away from the curb. This night may end poorly, but as long as it involved drinking, she wasn't going to protest. Both women were quiet on the drive and Regina stared out the window, lost in thought, not paying attention to wherever they were going. However much they may argue and tear at each other's throats, at the end of the day Regina would always be forced to admit that she trusted Emma. Once they arrive at their destination, Emma wastes no time getting out and digging something out of the back seat that makes several clinking noises as she gathers up whatever it is. Regina remains in the passenger seat, questioning the whole thing one last time as she watches Emma close the driver side door and move to the front of the car. It's pitch black, but she can still make out Emma's form well enough to see her standing there staring with both her arms full.
"Regina. Get out of the car." Emma laughed. "We're doing this."
Regina sighs aloud in the empty car and rolls her eyes once more as she moves to step out of the creaking vehicle. She mumbles to herself, "What's the worst that could happen?"
. . .
Leaning back against the front of the Bug, Regina watches as Emma fills their shot glasses and finds herself wondering when she'd lost count. She knew they'd done at least five shots in the last thirty minutes, or was it six? Regina honestly couldn't remember. All she knew was that at some point her brain had gotten cloudy and she'd ceased counting. If she was honest with herself, she just didn't care. The company was good, the tequila surprisingly wasn't cheap and each shot burned a little less going down each time.
"C'mon Regina." Emma hands her the tiny glass and sits the bottle between the two of them on the blanket where they'd been sitting since they'd arrived. Emma knows her tongue feels heavy, but her brain isn't functioning enough to register whether or not her words are beginning to slur. They were six or seven shots of Tequila in...her words were definitely beginning to slur. "I think this is like, the fourth shot. Tell me something I don't know about you."
"Ms. Swan." Regina stops herself and has the decency to look as if she felt bad for letting the formality slip. Then suddenly uncontained laughter directly followed. "I'm sorry. Emma. I meant Emma."
Emma suddenly found herself laughing right along with the woman next to her, though she wasn't sure why. "Wait. Why are we laughing?"
"I have no idea." Regina pretended to sober up, but her actions and movements were highly exaggerated. A small laugh escaped her lips again before she kicked back the shot and sat the glass down next to the bottle. "Have I ever told you that sometimes you have good ideas?"
"Have I ever told you that you're not that good at redire- re-" Emma began to laugh again at her own loss of words. "Re-whatever. You suck at avoiding questions! There. I said it. Meant it too."
Regina rolled her eyes and even though they were both laughing and carrying on, Emma couldn't help but wonder how Regina could manage to maintain her composure despite the number of shots they'd taken. The woman either had a very high tolerance for alcohol or she'd just gotten that good at retaining her self-control. No matter how many times she'd refilled their glasses or how many nosey questions Emma had asked, Regina managed to keep a tight lid on the conversation.
"Regina. Seriously." Emma paused to pour two more shots because at this point, pouring from the large bottle into two tiny glasses was quickly becoming quite the task. "Oops." Emma laughed to herself as some of the alcohol spilled onto the blank. "Seriously. What are you afraid of? It's just me. We're friends right? Girlfriends talk to each other."
"Girlfriends?" Regina glared at Emma from her side of the blanket. This time she didn't wait for Emma to hand her the glass. She picked it up herself and downed the drink in one quick swallow. She knew what Emma had meant by 'girlfriends' but the urge to laugh at the possible implications was bubbling just below the surface. Emma wanted to talk about serious things and all Regina wanted to do was drink them away. But it was becoming quite clear that Emma was like a dog with a bone. She would refuse to let it go until she got what she wanted. Regina filled her own glass this time, not waiting for Emma to do it and quickly knocked it back. Emma could catch up while she talked. "You want to know how I feel about today's events?"
Emma nodded enthusiastically as she worked on managing the mechanics of pouring another shot. This had to put them at ten. At least.
"I thought I'd be sad about it." Regina admitted, looking up at the star-filled sky.
"Wait. You're not sad?" Emma interrupted and moved to turn and face the other woman. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust from the short distance of focusing on the bottle and glass, to the two foot distance between herself and Regina. She blinked comically and had Regina been looking when she'd done it, she probably would have laughed at Emma and rolled her own eyes for the millionth time. One day, Emma thought to herself, Regina's eyes were going to roll out of her head. She laughed to herself then. "I thought that's why we were drinking? Because we were both sad?"
Regina looked at Emma then, wondering what it was the blonde was sad about. "Letting Robin go today didn't feel like I had told myself it was going to. The build up to him leaving was quite the emotional ride, but when it came down to it...when I had time to think about it later, I realized I was more upset about losing the idea of the possibility of a happy ending. But letting him go was nothing like-"
Emma handed Regina another shot and waited for her to continue, but instead, she just swallowed the drink. "Nothing like what?"
Regina had almost told Emma that letting Robin go had been nothing compared to the day she'd had to watch her and Henry leaving them all behind at the town line while she'd stayed behind to stop Pan's curse. All she'd wanted that day was to selfishly follow Emma across the line to keep their little family together. But instead she'd done what any hero would do and she'd stayed behind to pay the price. How many times would she have to pay the price?
"Nothing like I expected." Regina finished absently, suddenly sobering up. Glancing at her phone, the light was so bright from it that Regina could barely see it to look at the time. It had to be going on two in the morning and though she had nowhere to be the next day, Regina knew that Emma was supposed to be doing her Sherriff thing the next day. Because that's what people with jobs did. They went to work. Regina on the other hand no longer had a job. The only thing she had to look forward to the following day was a whole lot of nothing. Suddenly Regina felt the urge to drink straight from the bottle, but instead she spoke up. "I can't even tell what time it is, but we should probably be getting back."
Regina stood then, offering a hand to a confused Emma. But Emma accepted the offer despite the abrupt change in the air surrounding them. When she was finally on her feet, Emma suddenly realized that standing was well out of the question when she lost her balance and stumbled into Regina's arms. Despite the somber change in her mood, Regina laughed at Emma's inability to stand up straight and held onto her, guiding the Savior to the passenger side of her own car. If she couldn't stand, there wasn't a chance in hell Regina was going to let her drive and once she had gotten Emma settled into the passenger seat, Regina realized it meant that she was going to have to drive the little yellow death trap.
Running a hand through her hair, Regina let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding and moved to pick up the blanket and other evidence of their party for two. She tossed the things into the back seat and managed to figure out where the ignition was, despite her lack of hand eye coordination. Though Emma wasn't much help, fighting with Regina for the keys and insisting she should just let her start the car.
"Emma," Regina sighed, jerking the keys away from the other woman for the second time. "I've been driving for as long as you've been alive. I believe I can find my way around without your help."
"You've only ever driven your car, Regina." Emma laughed, causing Regina to pause in her efforts as she listened to Emma carefully enunciating each word so as not to slur. "Mine is different. Besides. Didn't you used to drive a horse and buggy. This is a Bug Regina. Not a buggy. Those are two way different things."
Emma leaned against the window as another bout of laughter bubbled up and out of its own accord. It was as if the blonde couldn't help herself and to her credit, she'd had way more to drink than any one person should have. Regina decided to let the comment slide and almost laughed herself. But somehow she remained composed.
"I never imagined you were a sloppy drunk, Emma." Regina was trying her best not to laugh as she finally managed to start the car and get them back on the road. "But I suppose this night has been full of surprises."
"Regina." Emma tried to make her tone sound serious, but the fact that she was leaning into Regina's personal space left a lot to be desired. Regina was highly intoxicated herself and doing her best to drive slowly and keep her eyes on the road, but Emma was making it impossible. "Regina!"
"Yes, Emma?" Regina slowed to a stop when they reached the edge of town and the first stop sign since leaving the bluff. She glanced over at the woman in the passenger seat and waited patiently for her to continue.
"You're not gonna take me home, right?" Emma was holding her hands in her head, her body slowly inching its way forward as if she was trying not to be sick. "Mom is gonna kill me if I come home drunk."
"Despite the fact that we are both...intoxicated and I really shouldn't care what your mother will do- no, Emma. I'm not taking you home." Regina shook her head, wondering what in the hell she was about to get herself into. "I'm taking you back to my home."
"Okay." Emma agreed far too easily but Regina was thankful. She was in no shape to argue. "Regina?"
"Yes, Emma?"
Regina clamped her mouth shut in effort to not be frustrated. Driving Emma's car was taking every last bit of her concentration and the only bright spot in the moment was the fact that she could see her house drawing closer and closer. When they reach the curb in front of 108 Mifflin, Regina hit the brake a little harder than she'd meant to, causing both women to lunge forward with the car. Thankful to have gotten home alive, Regina suddenly found herself wondering why she hadn't just transported them home with her magic. She supposed she could thank the Tequila for clouding her judgment and say a prayer that no one ever found out they'd both gotten in the car drunk.
"I think the Tequila is wearing off. Did you bring the bottle back?" Emma asked, trying to reach into the back seat. She was stopped when Regina gently grabbed her hand and redirected it into her own lap, clasping Emma's hand with both of her own. "Are we holding hands? We could have held hands earlier if you'd wanted to."
Regina rolled her eyes, but couldn't stop herself from laughing. For some reason when alcohol was involved, apparently everything was funny. Regina quickly moved to deposit Emma's hand back into her own lap and instructed her to sit still while she got out of the car. For once Emma did as she was told and waited patiently for Regina to open the door and help her out. "I didn't know you were such a lightweight."
"Lightweight. Huh! I'll have you know, it might hit me hard...but the buzz'll be gone in no time." Emma's brow furrowed at the realization but she continued up the path to Regina's front door, stumbling along Regina's arm firmly around her waist. Once they reached the front door, Regina retrieved the house keys from the pocket of her coat and struggled to keep Emma upright while she unlocked the door.
Finally inside the house, Regina didn't bother turning on any lights and Emma stumbled on the steps inside the foyer, causing Regina to catch her again. Once she had Emma upright for the second time, Regina made sure she was steady before she let go. "Do you think you can walk to the study on your own, or should I carry you another fifteen steps?"
"Ha! As if you could carry me anywhere." Emma waved her off and headed to the study with Regina right behind her. Emma wasted no time removing her jacket, despite fighting with it for a brief moment. She'd meant to drop it over the arm of the couch but wasn't sure if it had actually landed there or not. If she was honest, she wasn't the least bit worried about her jacket at the moment. All she could think about was the woman sitting down on the opposite end of the couch, who was watching her like a hawk. "Regina?"
"Yes, Emma?" Despite their level of intoxication, Regina someone remained her casual and poised self and Emma didn't like it one bit. For some reason the former Evil Queen of Fairytale Land kept staring at her as if there was something she wanted to say, but the words never came. "Tell me what you're thinking. And don't tell me you're not, because I might be drunk, but I'm not stupid. I know your looks. I know...you."
Regina hung her head for a moment giving thought to how she should answer the Saviors question. "I'm just looking. At you, Emma."
"Can I kiss you?"
Regina's head shot up at the words that had just spilled past Emma's lips half expecting to find a look of surprise on the blonde's face. "I- I, uh-"
"I'm sorry it took alcohol to give me the courage to ask you." Emma's eyes remained focused on the woman sitting across from her, terrified that Regina wouldn't take her serious. "I've wanted to. For a really long time now. I just- I- I never had the guts."
"So that's what tonight was about then?" Regina felt her walls going up and though she didn't actually want them to, it was something she couldn't seem to stop. Did Emma seriously think she had to get Regina drunk to kiss her? "You just- what? You thought if you got me drunk that I'd just go along with whatever you had in mind?"
"Regina no." Emma shook her head and immediately regretted it. She ran her hands over her face wishing like hell she would just sober up. "I have wanted to kiss you since the day I met you. All the arguing and getting in each other's faces and all I could think about was kissing you to shut you up. Now all I can think about is kissing you and hoping I can be the one to make you happy."
"Happy?" The words came out as a whisper and if there had been anything other than the two of them in the room, Emma might have missed it. "Why would you want to make me happy?"
Emma inched closed, slowly closing the gap between the two of them and reached for Regina's hand, hoping against all hope that Regina wouldn't jerk it away. "I can't handle seeing you so miserable anymore, Regina. You want your happy ending? Let it be me. It can be me!"
Regina closed her eyes, trying not the let the emotions loose that were threatening to take over her good senses. Everything about this situation screamed at her to run away. But she was tired of running. Tired of fighting. And what if Emma was right? Why couldn't Emma be her happy ending? Regina shook her head to chase the thoughts away but before she could stop herself she was opening her mouth to speak.
"What about Elsa?" Her voice cracked, threatening to betray her and she knew how the question sounded. "I- I heard you two were spending an awful lot of time together."
"It's true. We became pretty close. But Elsa was a friend, Regina. Nothing more." Emma answered the question in stride. She'd made up her mind to tell Regina that she was who she wanted. Who Emma had wanted all along and she silently prayed to whoever was listening, that Regina wouldn't push her away. "She kept me busy. You know?"
"And Hook?" Regina nearly choked on the pirate's name, but she had to know the answers to her questions before she let things go any further. She doesn't want to admit that she cares, but seeing Emma with him had hurt in a way she hadn't known was possible. And until tonight, she hadn't even known why.
"A distraction. Nothing more." Emma shook her head and squeezed Regina's hand for reassurance. "I kept seeing you with Robin and I just wanted to make it all go away. Hook was a distraction that- that didn't work. All I could do was think about you."
"I was there, too a few times." Regina smiled to herself at the near ridiculousness of the situation. They'd both been skirting around each other and the time for games was over. "Yes, Emma."
"Yes, what? I-"
"Shut up, you idiot." Regina leaned forward closing the small gap between them and captured Emma's lips with her own. The kiss is simple and brief and Regina pulls back with a smile on her face. She watches the emotions rolling over Emma's features and continues smiling to herself. She figures this can only go one of two ways. Whether it worked or they crashed and burned, they would at least do it...with style.