Foreword:
This is my first full-length "song-fic". No, I will not be interspersing lyrics between paragraphs, nor will I be quoting songs, however I did use the lyrics from these two songs to inspire my direction with this particular work. You don't need to read the lyrics to read the fic, but if you do, you might see where this is going.
Originally, this fic was supposed to be a one-shot, but it grew and grew until it was over 14,000 words, so I decided to split it into several parts. It is rated PG-13/Teen because of some harsh language both in the lyrics of one of the songs and two instances of the "F" word throughout the fiction.
I appreciate all your wonderful reviews and words of encouragement. I hope you enjoy.
Note: I took down the song lyrics… if you are curious, they are Fake It by, Seether and Chick Magnet by, MxPx
Disclaimer: This work belongs to me; however, the characters and settings belong to Ms. Rowling and I am very grateful for her allowing us to play with them. No copyright infringement is intended.
The Art of Being Yourself
The sun was shining above and Rose was feeling very ill tempered toward the potions book she held in her lap. This was supposed to be a group project, not a Rose-does-everything project. Stupidly, she'd thought that because she hadn't been paired with her cousin Albus, who was abysmal at potions, that some of the work might not fall on her shoulders this time.
She absently brushed a lock of brown hair out of her eyes and glared across the lawn at her so-called partner, Scorpius Malfoy. He was sitting cross-legged in the grass with several Slytherin girls fawning and swooning as he played his guitar. His white-blond hair was slicked back off his forehead with god only knew how much hair potion. He glanced up toward Rose and grinned in what she assumed was a mocking way.
"Bloody wanker!" she yelled, startling a passing second year. Rose gritted her teeth and tried to ignore the music. She stared at the pages in front of her not comprehending any of the words on them. She knew how to brew the damn potion, why in Merlin's name should she have to know why the magical reactions that made the ingredients work? Why had she listened to her mum when she insisted Rose take N.E.W.T. level potions?
Only two more months, she comforted herself. She was so busy not reading the book that she failed to notice when the music and giggling stopped. Rose was startled when a shadow fell across the pages and glanced up.
"Hey there," Scorpius said grinning that infuriating grin.
"Hey yourself," Rose snapped at him.
"Whoa," he said, holding his hands up in defense. "What's got your knickers twisted?"
"I'm sure you've got plenty of knickers to concern yourself without adding mind to the list, Malfoy."
"Ouch!" He rubbed his hand over his heart. "You injure me, Rose."
"But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two edged sword," Rose said under her breath.
Scorpius slid down the tree next to her and gently laid his shiny guitar on the grass next to him. "I hope you aren't slaving away on this fine Sunday afternoon."
"Oh no, I'm just having a bit of fun," she replied acidly as she slammed the tome shut.
"I told you I'd help," he snapped back.
Rose gripped the hem of her blouse tightly and counted backward from ten. She was about to lose her temper, and it wouldn't do to make her partner angry with her this close to the end of the year. He hadn't always been like this, she recalled. She used to actually be akin to a friend. "When?" Rose wanted to know, "Today or tomorrow? We've had the assignment for a week and it is due on Tuesday. You know full well that Monday night is Quidditch practice for Ravenclaw."
"And you knew that last night was my Quidditch practice and that I couldn't meet you in the library," he huffed. "Like I knew that you and bloody Brookwood," he said the name with a perfect sneer,"Had Prefect duty on Wednesday and Thursday and a Heads meeting on Friday."
Rose deflated with a sigh, "What's wrong with Roger?" she asked trying to change the subject even though she knew that the Slytherin two boys didn't get along and she was pretty sure she knew the reason.
"He's a ponce."
"And I'm a swot," Rose said rolling her eyes skyward. "My cousin tells me all the time."
"He stole my girlfriend," Scorpius said quietly, "And then he used her and left her."
Rose glanced at Scorpius and then across the yard at Matilda Blake, the sixth year Ravenclaw girl who was currently snuggled under a sixth year boy's arm. "There are plenty other fish in the sea," Rose said with a slight sarcastic ring to her voice. And Rose was quite certain that Matilda wasn't the reason for Scorpius' distaste. While Rose didn't have anything personal against Brookwood, she knew several who did.
"I don't date just anyone who comes my way," Scorpius replied haughtily.
Rose made a derisive sound in the back of her throat, but chose not to comment.
"I don't!" Scorpius said defensively. "Besides, it was the principle of the thing."
"Enough of this, Malfoy," Rose sighed waving her hand for emphasis. "We aren't getting anywhere. I've already done a load of research and it shouldn't take me more than an a couple hours to do the paper…"
Scorpius frowned at her, "You plan on doing the whole project by yourself?"
"As you pointed out, it's mostly my fault that we haven't had a chance to get together. What with Head Girl duties, Quidditch and our free periods being opposite and…"
"Look Rose," he said softly. "I never expected you to do all the work. I've already written the paper."
Rose's head snapped up and she glared at him indignantly, "You did what!?"
"I wrote the paper. On Friday before dinner," Scorpius replied slowly as if talking to a simpleton.
"I bloody-well heard that, but you wrote it without consulting me? What about my hours of research?" she demanded.
"We'll work it in. We still have two hours before dinner, and my paper is only at the minimum two feet. We still have another foot and a half to play with," he suggested sending Rose one of his most charming smiles.
Rose felt her face heat so she looked down and busied herself with stuffing her book into her rucksack. When she was sure her blush had subsided she turned to him and nodded her assent, "We can go get our notes and meet back here?"
"Let's just stick together," he suggested. "It'll be quicker since we can catch one another up on what we've been doing."
"Okay," Rose agreed as he stood and shouldered his guitar and headed toward the waited outside the Slytherin common Room while he ran in and grabbed his paper and potions book.
They discussed the magical properties of Dragon's Blood and the reaction it had when mixed with simple table salt. Rose was surprised at how thoroughly Scorpius had researched. She knew he was smart, as he had been her only real academic competition in her seven years at Hogwarts. Yet, this intellectual side of him was somewhat at odds with the Scorpius Malfoy walking toward Ravenclaw tower with her. He used to flaunt it in class, and now, well, he didn't do much of anything in class. Unless, of course, one were to count sitting in the back row looking bored and making snide remarks.
He was wearing tight trousers and had dragon hide boots laced up over them. Rose noticed the way that his dragon fang earring swung as he nodded at one of his housemates. She shook her head, it all seemed like such a waste to her.
During fifth year when she had been made a prefect, Scorpius had also been made one for Slytherin house. They used to have great fun doing rounds together. For a time, Rose had even fancied him. Everyone, including Scorpius himself, had thought he was a shoe-in for the Head Boy spot. But sometime during sixth year, he'd started to change. Scorpius had always been very respectful. A little bit of a smart-arse, but never to an authority figure. Rose had noticed it, though subtle, it had started with a simple back-talk remark to the History of Magic professor. She had also overheard one of the Professors discussing him outside the corridors. The older woman had chalked it up to hormones, but Rose wasn't so sure.
Suddenly, the boy was spending every weekend in detention, dressing differently, and had girls buzzing around him like flies on rotten meat. Yet, Headmistress McGonagall had not seen it fit to dismiss him from his prefect duties. The thing that ended it however, had not even truly been Scorpius fault. Sure, he had risen to the bait provided, but then Rose probably would have too knowing the kind of bait her cousin usually provided.
Her cousin Albus had somehow goaded Scorpius into sneaking out of the castle to Hogsmeade for a midnight visit to the Shrieking Shack, the most haunted house in Britain. Rose was still fuzzy on the details, but somehow Scorpius was tricked into going and his head of house was notified of his trespassing. That had been the end of his chance at becoming Head Boy. Rose was nearly certain that Brookwood had a hand in Albus' scheme, as she had seen them being chummy in the library the week before. And she was fairly certain that this was the reason for Scorpius' distaste for the Slytherin boy.
Rose muttered the answer to the riddle to be allowed into her common room and looked over her shoulder, "Are you coming?" Scorpius bit his lip uncertainly. Rose fought back a giggle and nodded. He still looked uncertain, and Rose found it oddly endearing. "We don't bite," she urged. "Well, maybe just a little nibble… but no mastication."
He raised his eyebrow at her and followed her into the common room looking around. Rose knew that most students did not visit common rooms other than their own, but she was familiar with all of them, being Head Girl as well as family to a large number of Gryffindor students and a small number of Hufflepuffs. She led him to a bookcase, tapped it three times with her wand and it slid back revealing a door.
"Head's dorm," she explained needlessly as she crossed the threshold. He stood wordlessly outside taking stock of the inner sanctum of her room. "You can come in. There's no alarm."
Hesitantly, Scorpius took a step into the room. When no siren sounded, he relaxed visibly and let out a nervous laugh. Rose eyed him as she kicked her dirty knickers under the corner of her bed. The room was painted a pale blue, and the hangings were done in a navy with bronze trim. There was a fireplace against one wall and a small sitting arrangement around it. The wall above her writing desk was plastered in Quidditch posters and news articles about the British national team, who her oldest cousin Victiore was playing for, and the Holy Head Harpies, her favorite league team.
"I follow the Canons," Scorpius said nodding toward her posters.
Rose laughed out loud as she picked up a pile of dirty clothes and moved them to the hamper. "Pity for you."
"It's their year, this year," he said with a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Rose smiled back. She'd been hearing the same sentiment for nearly all her life.
She rifled through a few stacks of loose papers on the floor next to her desk and came up with three long pieces of parchment and rolled them into tube then she found a second moldy old tome. "That is all I need since you have your Potions book." Her earlier frustration with him seemed to have dissipated completely.
He rubbed his palms on his trousers and motioned for Rose to go ahead of him in a very gentlemanly fashion. She smiled brightly at him.
On their way out of the common room, Rose's ire flared again as two of her fellow seventh year Ravenclaw's passed by. The girls pointed and giggled at Scorpius and the git had the nerve to smirk coolly at them. Rose was certain the brunet even winked at him. Winked at him, for Merlin's sake.
"What's he doing with Weasley?" she heard one of the girls whisper before the door swung shut behind them.
She glanced over at Scorpius and sighed to herself. It doesn't matter, she told herself. But still the girl's remark stung deep in a never-closing wound. She had always been somewhat of a loner, never getting too close to people outside of her family. To his credit however, he took her books from her and ignored her awkwardness choosing instead to comment about their next assignment together in potions class. Rose squinted her eyes at the sunlight as they emerged back onto the grounds. Wordlessly, they returned to the tree where she had been trying to study before.
He conjured a large floral quilt and piled their belongings onto it. "Where should we start?"
"Let me read what you have so far and then we can go from there," Rose suggested. Scorpius dug through his bag and produced a roll of parchment. He passed it over to her without fanfare and settled back against the trunk of the tree.
She read in silence, pausing to dot one of his 'i's. She could feel his gaze burning her.
Regrettably, there was not much to be changed. His essay was perfect. Rose however rearranged some sentence structure and found places to insert dates and random facts that pertained to the subject matter. On one hand, it felt good that she finally had a competent partner, but on the other… she felt disappointed that she was unable to help and felt unneeded.
They were just finishing the last paragraph of the final draft when she heard her cousin Albus yell her name, "Rosie and Malfoy sitting in a tree, S-W-O-T-T-I-N-G…" The entire Gryffindor Quidditch team was a short distance behind him laughing at her.
Rose felt her face go scarlet and her heart sped up and she closed her eyes. She hated her cousin sometimes. He was such an insensitive bastard. Rose wished the earth would open up and swallow her. It was one thing to spar one-on-one with someone; she was quite witty and quick tongued, but to be publicly ridiculed… She groaned aloud and started to sink down.
A delicious shock ran through Rose as felt Scorpius curl his fingers around hers behind the book, "Ignore him," he said lightly. "He'll stop if you don't let him get to you."
Deep breath. "How do you know?" She could hardly hear Albus over the roaring of blood in her ears.
"I've watched it happen almost seven years, Rose. He always baits you and you almost always rise to it. You two are worse than siblings." Smirking, he added, "You do the same thing to him, though you keep it between the two of you instead of the entire school."
Rose blushed at the unintended implications of his words. He'd been watching her. Another thrill coursed through her. She drew strength from him and laced her fingers with his. She was actually trembling but whether from humiliation, or the lightning rush of adrenalin she received from Scorpius' touch, she was uncertain.
She heard Albus grumble something and chanced a glance at him to find he and his teammates headed toward the Quidditch Pitch for drills.
"We've missed dinner," she said in surprise.
Scorpius blinked and looked around at the grounds. The lawn was empty save for the Quidditch team. Only then did Rose notice how cold the air was growing. It may have been a perfect spring day, but it was going to be a cold, clear evening. She shivered despite herself and reluctantly let go of Scorpius' hand.
"Let's go to the kitchens," Rose said as she rolled up the parchment. She felt suddenly famished.
He chuckled, "Isn't that against the rules?"
"Stuff it," she grumbled and pulled herself to her feet. Scorpius vanished the conjured blanket and took her things from her again. It was really kind of odd, Rose thought, that when his fan club wasn't around, Scorpius was quite tolerable. He wasn't rude, difficult or overly arrogant.
They made their way silently to the corridor that housed the kitchens. When Rose's arm brushed against his on the stairs, she felt her face heat up. At the still-life of a bowl of fruit, they both reached up to tickle the pear at the same time and brushed hands instead. "Sorry," they both muttered embarrassedly.
Rose laughed uncertainly as Scorpius opened the portal for her and climbed through. They were greeted by a couple very happy house elves and were soon seated on top of two wine barrels next to the fire eating plates of leftover steak and kidney pie off their laps.
She learned that his best friend growing up, Paul Bole, had been sent off to Durmstang for his schooling. Apparently, despite his grandfather's insistence that Scorpius go there as well, his father and mother had sent him to Hogwarts. Apparently, most of the ex-Death Eater's grandchildren had been sent overseas for their education. Before now, Rose hadn't thought much of it, but suddenly, things started to fit together in Rose's mind. It was like a puzzle that she'd nearly finished, but filed away because of a missing piece. "So that's what happened…" she muttered out loud.
"Pardon?" Scorpius said looking up from his pudding.
Rose blushed and looked away from his face. "I was just putting something together in my head," she said embarrassed that she'd spoken aloud. "It isn't very important." She set her bowl down on a nearby barrel and looked down at her hands.
"No, really," Scorpius said looking at her curiously. "What are you thinking? I want to know."
Rose blushed again and met his penetrating gaze. "I was just putting everything about you together. I remember how polite you were during our first years at school and how you worked so hard to land the Prefect spot. And then you changed," Rose said fighting the urge to look away from him. "But I just figured out why."
His eyes turned hard and cold. He set his desert down and crossed his arms over his chest. "What happened then, Weasley, if you know so much about it?"
"We studied in depth about the Second Wizarding War during sixth year. I saw your family's name in the textbook listed under convicted Death Eaters," she said daring him to contradict her. Scorpius glared at her and stood. Rose stood too, moving to stand directly in front of him. "That must have been hard," she said compassionately.
"Of course it was hard," he sniped. "Even in Slytherin, there are only two other children or grandchildren of Death Eaters, but their mothers married out of it, so their last names aren't in the book. I was the only fucking one. It wasn't so bad when I was younger, because no one really gave a shit about the little Malfoy kid. But then when our class learned about it, I was constantly surrounded by people who hated me on principle."
"I'm sorry," Rose said taking his hand. "I'm not bringing this up to hurt you. I had just always wondered what changed. Why you changed. You were always my favorite person to be partnered with on rounds, but then you were so different and I couldn't help but wonder."
Scorpius seemed to deflate in front of her. "I'm sorry, too. I've just gotten so used to the threats and the way people treat me that my hackles rise whenever I'm confronted with something about my father's past." Scorpius sighed. "My father isn't proud of what he did, and neither am I. I was just so sick of everyone thinking I was evil and bad, that I decided to give it a shot."
Rose snorted.
"Witches love a bad boy," Scorpius said defensively.
"Not the good ones," Rose said with a smirk. She looked down at their intertwined hands and felt her pulse speed again. Merlin, she thought.
Scorpius looked into her eyes and kissed the back of her hand lightly. "And on that cheek, and o'er that brow, So soft, so calm, yet eloquent, The smiles that win, the tints that glow, But tell of days in goodness spent…"
"Are you really quoting Lord Byron?" Rose said arching her eyebrow at him.
"You aren't supposed to recognize it," Scorpius replied with a grin. "It works better that way."
Rose grinned back and sat on the barrel closest to him. Her heart was still thudding erratically in her chest. "You know, you can lose the act around me, Scorpius. I liked you a lot better before."
He frowned at her. "Really?"
"Absolutely," Rose answered without hesitation. "I think the first thing that needs to go is the hair potion."
"It's pomade," he said lightly. "I saw some guy in London with this style and thought it looked cool."
Rose grimaced, "As long as you like it."
"You don't like it?" he said uncertainly.
Rose had to fight back a laugh before she could answer properly. "I never said that. I just want you to be you because it is who you want to be, not what you think others want you to be. I really mean it, Malfoy. I liked you better before you were trying to be someone else."
Taking his hand back from hers, Scorpius reached up and pulled the dragon fang earring from his lobe and placed it in her palm. "Take this," he said, "and chuck it in the bin."
Her eyebrows shot into her fringe. Dragon fangs were quite expensive. "Really?"
Scorpius grimaced. "The sales witch at Merlin's Beard talked me into it. She was cute and she insisted it would look cool."
Rose made a derisive sound in her throat and tucked the fang in her pocket. She thought she might just hang onto it… in case he changed his mind. She was looking at Scorpius critically. His cheeks were flushed pink and he looked a little more approachable without the wicked fang dangling next to his face. "What will your fan club think?" He shrugged his shoulders and looked away. She glanced down at her hands and noticing her watch suddenly jumped up, "Oh Bugger! I have a meeting right now!"
"I'll walk you back up to your common room," Scorpius offered automatically.
Rose checked the time again as they left the kitchens. "It is past curfew," she said as they hurried down the hallway side-by-side. "Maybe I had better walk you back to your common room."