Love Lost in Time
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Summary: In a sea of people, I only see you.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl.
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AN: It's good to be back! My writing has been a bit sporadic of late, so I won't be releasing things as often as I usually do. Maybe the summer will bring some new things. ;)
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The morning brought a familiar feel in his neck; it was the nuzzle of a woman.
He turned on his side and saw a bundle of brown hair and smiled to himself.
"Good morning." He whispered softly into the girl's ear, waiting for the soft response.
"Morning." A deeper voice than expected, more cynical than usual.
She revealed her face. He knew the girl, but her green eyes were no match for the brown he desired, her lips not red and full like he enjoyed.
"Vanessa." He said, surprised, though he shouldn't have been.
"Were you expecting someone else?" Her almost annoyed tone. She was touchier in the afterglow than he thought she would be.
"No." Yes.
"It doesn't matter." Icy. Cold. "Nothing matters."
"Why?"
"To prove that nothing matters."
He heard her voice. Her light, but troubled tone.
"You're right." He lies.
She kisses his neck, trying to arouse him.
This was not love. Not even close.
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It is easy not to feel anything when there is nothing.
His blue eyes do nothing for her anymore; she used to stare at them and sigh, like they were gems.
She now prefers sharp brown eyes.
He hands her yellow and purple flowers. Carnations.
She hates carnations.
"Thank you." She says in her high, pristine voice. It pierces her own ears and she winces.
"No problem." He smiles that dazzling smile, the one she used to swoon over.
She misses a certain devilish smirk.
His bangs almost cover his eyes. She decides she hates them; they didn't used to nag her so much.
His hair is too short for her liking; she can't yank on it whenever she pleases. He doesn't grab her thighs when they kiss, caress her ever so gently.
He never did back then, either. Things don't change.
"I know you well." He laughs to himself.
"I know you better than I know myself."
"Yes, you do." No, you don't.
He touches his lips with hers, and she looks for the fireworks.
There aren't any.
This wasn't love. Not anymore.
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He enters the penthouse alone to a room full of people. Couples who are laughing without a care in the world.
She's laughing with him, too. Pasting on a fake smile, making things work when the gears aren't turning right.
She turns and her eyes lock on the one she wants. There is no emotion, only a blank stare.
She gives one second of vulnerability. Her eyes show hurt, want. Love. Everything she wants.
This is love. It's hard to explain.
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fin